Carlisle couldn't move. His body would not obey his command to leave, he could only stand there and stare into Bella's chocolate brown eyes; he had never felt so scared in his entire life. Her gaze was icy and hurt. Part of him found relief in the fact that she found out… it was all out in the open now and he couldn't change it. He would deal with the consequences as they came.
Her lips tightened and her face hardened into a steely mask. "How could you?! You bastard!" she screamed, her hands clung to the blankets around her like a shield.
"Bella, I am sorry…"
"Sorry! You're sorry! I wake to find you having sex with me! Sex! You… you're the one from my dream…How dare you! You dirty asshole!" she could not think of bad enough names to call him. She could recall his face now through the shadows, his golden hair framing his perfect expression of pure enjoyment, of pleasure while driving into her.
"I had no control over this, Bella, believe me!" His voice began to raise, his fighting instinct beginning to emerge.
"Really? You're a liar! You didn't tell me! You just let it happen! You should have said something!" Her voice was shrill and it quivered with the threat of tears. "You slimy old perverted…"
Enough! His body darted forward, pinning the girl once again to the bed with his cold body, he growled a warning in her ear that made her cringe against the sheets. "I may be a lot of things, Isabella Swan, but don't you dare accuse me of being a pervert! Do you think that go around all the time seducing the young friends of my children? If I wanted to do that I could have stayed in Forks… there are plenty of willing bodies there! I am telling you that I. Had. No. Control. This is not something I asked for!"
His eyes were black as coal. He could still smell the after scent of sex coming off of her body; it began to cloud his mind… a red haze began to materialize before him, his vampire side needing his female counterpart once again… to make her admit that she belonged to him.
His nose bent to her cheek, taking in the smell of sex and perspiration… "You are mine!" he rumbled, almost purring at her apprehension of his power….
Only one thing stopped him in that moment… it was the small sob that came from Bella. He shook his head, the haze receding, and shot to the door, escaping from his unwilling crime. He wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms, cradling her and rocking her fears away, but he knew he could not stay… not until she asked him to. "I am sorry, Bella. More than you could ever know."
X-X-X
Bella cried into deep into the night, she would not let herself fall back asleep, even though the steady beat of the rain invited her to close her eyes.
How could he have done this? How could he have not been in control? Vampires were the epitome of self control…careful and patient. He had been on top of her, his body grinding forcefully into her, and his eyes full of desire. Her body had enjoyed it…even her mind had enjoyed it… until she found out that it was not a dream. He had stolen her dream… her dream of giving herself willingly to the man of her choice. She had wanted it to be a wonderful experience… she had the whole thing envisioned… candles, flowers, and soft music… now it all seemed pitiable and silly.
This explained the other night…she was sure of it… the pain, the delightful burning… the way she had felt towards him with her daydreams; her heart began to speed at the thought, he cheeks flushing. NO! He had taken her womanhood without her permission... and even if she believed his words and he could not control himself… why did he not let her know? He couldn't have spared two minutes to tell her! If he had woke her up after that first time she may have understood, but he had kept it a secret. And how was she to know what he did or did not remember? How could she ever be sure Carlisle had not taken advantage of the situation? Who was to say he hadn't come to her in the darkness night of his own desire, for his own gratification?
She needed a friend, someone to talk to, and someone to cry on. Oh where was Alice?
Alice! Anger coursed through her veins, even stronger than before… for both Alice and Jasper. There was no way that they did not know! Even if Alice had not seen it they would have heard it… and she knew they could smell it. That was the reason Jasper had given her those funny looks, the reason Carlisle had given the duo looks that told them to 'shut up.'
What a horrible mess I am in! she thought with despair. Bella began to sob again, her heart aching in a way that made her curl into a ball on the bed. She was trapped on an island with vampires and she couldn't trust any of them.
X-X-X
It was nearly noon before Bella heard anyone stirring in the house, she could smell something delicious coming from the kitchen, no doubt and attempt to lure her out… well, she would not go, there was no way… and her stomach protested at the thought. She made her way to the bathroom sink and cupped her hands to slurp the cool water into her mouth, filling up on the liquid as much as possible.
She changed her clothing and refastened her splint on her hand. She examined herself in the mirror. She looked no worse for the wear, considering what she had been through, but her eyes strayed to her neck. She knew what she would find there, she had felt it throbbing after he left, the raised marking on her neck where his mouth had been pleasuring her, sucking and nipping at her skin. He shivered at the memory… his cool hands… the sinew in his shoulders.
Stop! She shook the brown hair of her head, trying to stop the onslaught of feelings she was having. Just the day before she had seen him naked and she couldn't get him out of her head, the thoughts of him had assaulted her brain all day long. Even when she was swimming with Jasper and Alice she tried hard, and obviously unsuccessfully, to get him to notice her, and maybe to even come have fun with them. Even now, even with her mind feeling violated, she could feel her body pulling to him, longing to feel his arms around her.
No! This had been a secret to big to keep, no matter how small the time frame and he had chosen not to tell her. What if it had continued and something happened… what if he had hurt her somehow… what it she had gotten pregnant? Oh God! Her hand flew to her mouth stifling a cry… she didn't even know if it could happen! Oh Lord! If she was a vampire she would kill him right now! Alice would tell her if something…no… she had kept this from her… why not other things?
As if on cue, and Bella was sure it was, Alice entered the room carrying a large tray filled with delicious looking food, and placed it on the bed. Her face serious, unusual for the pixie, and Bella could see sadness in her eyes…Good!
Alice approached Bella slowly, he arms held up in a sort of surrender. Bella couldn't stand the sight of her, she could feel he stomach churn and her anger flare. She took two quick steps in the small girl's direction and lashed out, Bella's good hand connecting with the stone cheek. Alice knew it was coming, she had seen it, and her reflexes were perfect, but she let it happen at any rate.
"I deserve that," her voice was soft.
"No," Bella roared, frightened by her own voice, but she wasn't backing down. "You deserve a lot more than that! Both you and Jasper! How could you not tell me?" She knew the whole household could hear what was being said and she didn't care. "You knew about him… about him and me… and you kept it from me! You may as well have been holding me down, helping him! You should have stopped him!" She turned away disgusted at the vampire.
"Bella, I am so sorry… no, sorry doesn't begin to cover it! I did see on the first night, that he would have accidently killed you in rage if we had tried to stop him. Then out of remorse, he would have gone to the Volturi and begged for death… I would have lost both of you! How could I have changed it?" Alice let out something that sounded like a gasp, maybe even a small cry. Bella could see the sorrow in her eyes, and even though she was not ready to forgive her friend, the hard lines on her face softened a little."He was going to tell you last night! He was waiting for the right time! Carlisle made me promise after Esme left, that I would only tell our family about my visions if death was involved, the rest of our lives he wanted to progress naturally, without interference. The family was getting too stressed out worrying about things that had not happened yet."
"But, how could he do this, Alice?" her voice had dropped to a whisper, her throat feeling like it was closing in, verging on tears. "I trusted him. He said he had no control."
"He was right when he said that. Our vampire side is very dominant and once the vampire within him chose you as his mate, there wasn't much he could do to stop himself, his instincts took over, and it was almost like a compulsion." She moved closer to Bella, her arm sliding around her back, her eyes apologetic.
So he had not been able to control himself. He wasn't lying! His words from last night echoed in her mind… This is not something I asked for! If it really was the monster inside of him, then Carlisle was just as much of a victim as she, having to know what had happened without being able to stop himself from completing the act!
Then why did it make her feel so bad to know that this was not something he desired? Her mind was racing… '"What do you mean by mate?"
"Well, it's deeper than just love." She motioned for Bella to follow her, making her way to the food. Bella now could not stop herself from diving into the light pancakes, crispy bacon, and sliced of strawberries covered with fresh whipped cream. She moaned as the flavors burst in her mouth.
"When a vampire takes a mate, it's until the end of their life, or eternity, whichever comes first. You become possessive, protective, mad with lust, and desire nothing more than to be with your mate. I have never heard of a vampire becoming mated with a human before." She poured Bella a steaming cup of cocoa, the hot liquid felt amazing as it streamed down her throat, soothing the rawness from the night's crying. "It's not something we really pick… it just happens. I'm not even sure a human can feel the effects of it."
Bella suddenly felt more sympathetic towards the doctor and the struggle he must be going through. But, she still felt betrayed. Why didn't he just tell her the moment it happened? Surely she could have done something…she wasn't even sure she felt that way about him!
"Did you see this happening before we came here?"
Alice took her time, thinking slowly about her answer. "It was one possibility, one of many. I didn't think it would really happen… the likelihood was very slim, but when his instincts kicked in… the future became solid…and because of his snap decision, I didn't have time to warn you."
"Is there anything else you need to warn me about? Alice, could I be…?" her hands moved to her abdomen.
"No, no!" she shook her head rapidly, dispelling Bella's fears.
"How do I face him, Alice? I don't want to see him! I'm not ready yet!"
"You have the rest of the day without him! He went to the mainland to get Emmett and Rose from the airport!"
Bella smiled, she could not wait to see her big brother! She stuffed another fork full of food into her mouth. "This is so good! You are an amazing cook!"
"I didn't make it. Carlisle made it for you just before he left."
X-X-X
Bella wandered the island for the rest of the day, the beauty of the island taking her thoughts away from her problems….for the most part. When she wasn't admiring the colorful flowers, the greenery, or the dazzling ocean, her thought flittered to Carlisle. He was gone, yes… and she was thankful for that… she needed the space… but she felt an odd sort of tugging within her, her eyes searched the ocean often, hoping to catch a glimpse of his boat returning.
No! She didn't understand why she felt so drawn to him… unless she really was beginning to feel the bond of being his… his mate. The word caught in her mind, but not in an unpleasant way, she almost like the way it sounded… mate. But almost as quickly something inside of her began to hurt because she knew that Carlisle didn't want this and his words echoed in her mind; 'Do you think that go around all the time seducing the young friends of my children? This is not something I asked for!'
She was unwanted and undesirable; Edward had assured her of that and now Carlisle had solidified the fact. It would only take the primal animal, in a male, to make anyone want to be with her. Her sore legs led her to a cliff that overlooked the ocean; she peered over the edge, and thought she could see a small cave near the bottom or maybe just a small alcove, but it looked like something she wanted to see. There seemed to be a pretty beach, in front of the cave, secluded by the rocky cliffs, and she could see shiny pink rock glittering in the sand. Down near the bottom of the cliff she could tell that the ocean rose to cover the indentation, judging by the seaweed that clung to the rocky face, but the tide was out and wouldn't come back in for awhile.
She looked for a way down, but there was no path, and there was no way in hell she was going to swing her legs over the edge and climb down; with her luck she would fall and kill herself instantly. There were no ropes or ladders, of course, a vampire would have no need for such things.
She was so engrossed in solving the problem that she didn't hear the vampire sneak up behind her, his body knocking her forward, over the cliff. She screamed at the freefall, steel arms closing around her like a cage, and she let out a huff of air as they landed on the beach, the creature's feet not making any sound as they touched the sand. She didn't need to look at the vampire to know who it was; the musky sweet smell had engulfed her nose, making her stomach turn at the smell. Edward held her close and turned, marching into the cave with her in his iron grasp.
She knew it was no use to struggle; there was no way she could break free from him, she was a tiny bug that he could squash easily.
The cave was bigger than she thought and very cool inside. The black walls dripped with moisture and glistened in the setting sun's light. She shivered as he set her on her feet, the ground was covered with large rock and she lost her balance immediately, his arms catching her before she could do damage to herself. He chuckled quietly.
"I see you still have yet to gain a sense of balance, Mrs. Swan" his voice was light and his eyes glowed amber.
He looks happy! She thought… unusual.
"What do you want, Edward?" she tried to keep the venom out of her voice.
"I needed to see you."
"For what? To gloat about hurting me? To rub it in further?" No he was not going to do this to me!
"No," his voice was like honey and he lowered his head, his lips only inches from hers, his breath caressed her skin. "I wanted to see you again. I have not been able to get you out of my mind since I left. I needed to tell you that… that I'm sorry."
Wow! She definitely was not expecting that! "You are sorry. Why? You said what you felt. It may have not been kind, but it made me see sense, the truth about us."
"No, Bella! I was angry… I was hurt… and I said some horrible things, things I am ashamed to remember. But not only that… I need to apologize for the market… It was my fault… I was so consumed with seeing you that I didn't realize what the other vampires were up to."
So he was there! Bastard! If he had been close enough to know what happened then why didn't he help her?
"They could have killed me!" She held her splint out for him to see. "It was only thanks to your family that I am here! They wanted to sell me! For sex!" her voice began to raise, to gain a shrill quality.
"And yet here you stand. Please, Bella. I am sorry." His arms crept around her waist, ensnaring her so she could not move. His head nuzzled into her neck, his ears could pick up the thrumming of her angry heart, his nose inhaled the scent; the aroma that permeated his every thought… the aroma even better than he remembered. His hands slid down her back to her plump buttocks, squeezing them roughly. His chest began to rumble… Suddenly an irate hiss erupted from deep within him and he shoved back from her, shoving Bella to the ground in the process, the sharp rocks digging into her skin.
"You… you and Carlisle!" he spat at her, his lips pulling back over his sharp venomous teeth.
"No, not me and Carlisle," she shot back defensively.
"I can smell him on you! Disgusting! So this is what you do when one Cullen leaves you; you jump straight into bed with the first available!" his voice rang in the cave, the echo hurting her ears.
"How dare you! I did no such thing!" the indignation apparent in her voice. She was not about to tell him what had happened, but there is no way he was going to accuse her of being a slut!
Her glare matched his, neither relenting in their stares and suddenly his face softened. "Bella, I will forgive this… this little indiscretion of yours if you will forgive me my words. Please Bella. I still love you."
"Indiscretion! I cannot believe that you would come back here and accuse me of such things…and then tell me you'll forgive me for something you have no proof of happening! No, Edward! I do not forgive you! You left me. You left me bruised and broken and alone. I will not let that happen to me again!" she didn't raise her voice above a deadly whisper, her arms folded in front of her, her body held defensively.
She watched as his face turned from kindness to hardened anger. His body slammed her onto the cave wall, pinning her to the cave wall and Bella let out a cry of pain. She could feel his hard hands on her cheeks, stroking her, and then moving back to entangle themselves in her hair. He lowered his lips to her, his eyes light with excitement, and kissed her hard. She could feel her lips bruising from the force of his kiss and she tried to resist opening her mouth, but his tongue fought its way into her mouth. She moaned in pain… the kiss felt too familiar… and way too passionate. He had never kissed her like that before and a shiver of fear spread through her body.
"Stop!" her hands pushed at the marble statue to no avail, her plea muffled by his mouth, but instead he just pulled her closer, one hand wandering down her back and tracing to her stomach. She felt nauseated. She didn't want this… Someone help me! Carlisle…
She was a bit surprised when her mind called for him… for his light, his safety.
"Oh, Bella…." Edward pulled back, smiling slightly. "You cannot say you don't want me…I know that you do…don't fight it." She would not meet his eyes; she knew that if she angered him he could snap her neck in less than a second.
He could see and feel her hesitation and he didn't like it… he growled at her, a sneer forming on his face. "You will be mine again, Bella. I promise you that. You'll be begging for me to take you!" He was gone in the next second… leaving her alone and stranded.
Not again! What an ass!
She made her way from the cave, being as careful as she could not to break her ankles on the uneven rocks, and she astonished herself by not falling once. She needed to get back; to Alice and Jasper… and Carlisle. The tide would not be back in for awhile and she contemplated trying to swim around the cliffs until she found lower ground, but the area looked very rocky and she was not sure if there was a strong current under the crystal like water.
Maybe she could go up the lowest cliff face…no… there was no way she could make it; her body was shattered from all the pain she had been experiencing the past few day and there was no way she could make it up with the splint on her hand. She didn't want to stay at the beach, so she tempted fate and found a foothold that she thought was sturdy enough to pull her onto. Her good hand searched the craggy rocks for any place to pull up on. She knew her luck was not good, especially for something like this and sure enough, she slipped, her feet giving way on the smooth surface. It wasn't far to fall, but her leg caught against the sharp edges, tearing at her skin. She felt the pain searing through her leg and she let out a shriek.
Oh, God no! She looked down at the wound and her stomach churned at the smell of the hot blood. It dropped steadily down her leg and onto the sand, staining it a rust brown color. There were two long cuts and they were deep. She had nothing to stop the blood so she pulled off her white tee, leaving her white bra exposed, and wrapped it around the leg. She tried to tie the shirt tightly, but her hands became slippery with the warm liquid, so she settled for holding it in place with her own pressure.
"Help," she yelled at the cliff. Maybe they could hear her! "Please help me!" But there was no response. Her leg began to burn and the cloth quickly saturated and there was nothing more she could do than wait. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes and finally brimmed over.
X-X-X
Carlisle was overjoyed to see Emmett and Rose again; even a few days could seem like so long for a vampire who did not sleep, and the trip back to the island was light and cheerful. Emmett and Rose odd give him some odd looks; he knew that they could smell Bella on him, but they did have the good grace to not say anything, although Emmett looked like he might explode from the amount of dirty comments filling his head.
The trip gave him time to think, though, and most of his thoughts were of his mate, his love. He knew now that if he had any chance to win her he needed to prove to her that she could trust him, that he would protect her, be a friend… and maybe, if she could return that love… eventually her lover. His body knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she belonged to him, and he knew her body responded the same way… she said so last night during his claiming of her…even if her conscious mind didn't completely understand the bond… her body did. And his vampire side was sated from that breathy whisper… for now. He just needed to prove that he was worthy of her love and her trust.
He wanted to see her as soon as he got back, just to make sure she was okay, just to check…
"Alice how is she?" she was waiting at the pier for them and grabbed Emmett and Rose in a hug.
"She is alright," Alice cast her eyes to the ground and bit her lip.
"Where is she?" Carlisle was instantly in his guard. She was hiding something. Then the odor assailed him and he snarled at the pixie. "Edward is here!" No! What if she was in danger… or worse… what if she took him back!
"He came ashore a few hours ago…"
"Where is that asshole?" Emmett growled "I owe him for hurting my little sis."
"Why didn't you say anything?" Carlisle was over her, his face contorted with fury.
Alice had never been one to back down, she hissed back at him "You made me promise, Carlisle! You made me swear to let everything progress as normally as I could without interfering. You are the one who is messing this up! Don't take it out on me!" Suddenly Jasper was there, blocking his mate as Carlisle moved in closer, his hands ready to break her neck.
"Careful now," he warned and calmness washed over the group.
Carlisle roared! He had to find her… his beloved mate… he would not let this happen… he would kill Edward if anything happened to her… he would die if she went back to that little prick!
He didn't even stop to ask where she may be, his blinding fury taking control of his instincts. A another snarl exploded from his lips as he dashed into the forest, letting he senses range out like the first time he had found her on the forest floor. His growling came with every stride, until it was nothing more than a long fierce hum, like the sound of a swarm of angry wasps. His nose picked up the sweet scent of his Bella, mixed with that of his son and he followed it to the cliffs, he didn't stop to survey the scene, and dove over the edge of the cliffs, landing soundlessly. He could smell blood!
Oh, no! Please not that!
His head whipped back and forth searching for the corpse of his mate and relief washed over him when he saw her small frame, her body rocking back and forth, and sobbing coming from her muffled by her dark curtain of hair. He could see the bloody cloth and his doctor instincts pushed back the vampire, containing it in the recesses of his mind. Edward was not there, he must have been long gone, with his scent starting to fade.
He didn't ask any questions, he pulled the small doll into his thick arms, using only his legs he jumped nimbly along the cliff, his footing never faltering. Once up the cliff he pushed her and away from the warm bloody bandage and used his own to put pressure on the cuts, the coolness easing some of her pain.
She couldn't believe he was there, her light, her savior once again. Maybe I'm dreaming… I've lost so much blood!
She leaned her head against his shoulder, inhaling his scent of rain and cinnamon, but trying not to let him notice. She began to shiver against him; his shirt did nothing to stop his cold skin from icing her bare torso.
He made it back to the house faster than she believed possible. They were alone, Alice having told them about the blood, they had made their way to the beach for a night swim, in case they could not control themselves.
He laid her in her soft bed, blood smearing on the sheets. He didn't say anything as he darted to his room and back, now carrying his black doctor's bag. She didn't want to watch as he removed the shirt from around the gashes and studied it for a moment; she knew the sight would make her vomit.
"The injury looks clean, which is good, but I need to clean it," his deep voice was soft and his concerned eyes met hers. Her stomach flipped at his gaze and she couldn't find the words, so she just nodded. "I have some suture tape which will do the trick; I don't want to have to use needles on you."
She kept her eyes on his face while he worked, the smell of medical supplies and alcohol assaulting her nose. His hands were gentle and moved with grace across her legs. She wondered what she would do if his long fingers began to wander higher… sliding them beneath the hem of her shorts… she felt a delicious tingle growing below her navel and she blushed.
"I wonder," Carlisle mused "What you could possibly be thinking of that would make your cheeks turn that lovely shade of red?"
Her heart felt like it stopped, embarrassed by the comment. He hadn't even been looking in her direction! "I…I was just… nothing." She shook her head, not willing to continue. He finished the suture tape and started wrapping he led in gauze. He did it as slowly as he could, he could smell her arousal, he desire. It took all of his will to not throw her back on the bed and drive into her until she was calling his name. He knew she wanted him… he just needed to be patient.
He removed the bloody covers off of the bed and brought her new ones, and a nightgown, making her a sandwich while she dressed, and waited politely beside the bed until she finished half of it and drank a glass of water with some pain killers.
"What was Edward doing here?" he asked conversationally, trying to hide his annoyance with the boy.
"He…he told me he still loves me and that he wants me back."
Carlisle could not contain the snarl that ripped from his lips, his hands crushing the scissors he was holding into dust. He knew he had smelled Edward on her, but he could not stop himself from asking "Did he kiss you?"
"Yes," she breathed.
"And…?"
"And I am sorry you feel this way, Carlisle."
"What?" he barked and instantly bit his lip. "Sorry."
"I know that this is not something you wanted. I know it is difficult for you, knowing that you mated with me unwillingly. I am sorry for being such an inconvenience to you." Her face was pale and morose; she could not look up at him. He could hear her heart hammering in her chest and could smell the salty tears that were starting to appear.
"Bella… please. Don't apologize. You have done nothing wrong. Are you okay?"
"Yes, my leg will heal soon, another scar, nothing new."
"That's not what I meant," he growled. "Do I need to have you flown back to Forks tomorrow or do you want to stay with me…my family?"
She thought it over weighing his words. He face said that he wanted her to think carefully, but deep inside he knew what he wanted her to say…
"I think I will stay a little longer."
He sighed inwardly, happy at another day, another chance with her.
"Please let me know if you need anything, you just have to ask," he moved away, making for the door.
"Stay…" the word was out of her mouth before she could stop herself.
There was a look of confusion on his god-like face and he frowned at her. Ask anything but that!
He grabbed her hand in his and lowered himself beside her bed; his honey gaze met her chocolate one. Sadness was the mask he wore. "No Bella. I will not stay until you admit it."
"Admit what?" her heart played a solo that she knew he could hear.
"My dear, you are an intelligent woman, you know very well what." He shut the door behind him, not looking back.
Okay… breathe…I don't want to lose you… I needed to get the angst out! There will be plenty of lemons in the next chapter! But lemons between who? Will Edward be back? Please R&R!
