The weeks trudged by slowly. Zak had given up on trying to contact me after several unsuccessful tries. I did my best to stay away from Ridley, but every once in a while I would slip up. It was hard to remain vigilant at all times when my thoughts were consumed with what to do next. My body would have long been buried by now. Every day that passed I could almost feel the calming white light slipping further away from me. It was depressing, but what could I do? Zak couldn't help me even if I could find a way to explain to him what had happened. I was alone.
We were now on our way to another lockdown location. I wasn't sure where. I rarely paid attention to what was going on in the house apart from avoiding Ridley. We arrived at our hotel and Zak, Aaron and Nick checked in to get a good night's sleep before the lockdown the next day. Once Zak and I reached his room he flipped on the TV then headed into the bathroom to grab a shower before bed.
"He couldn't have left it on something more interesting than the news?" I complained when I heard the water go on. What did I care about current events? What could possibly affect me now?
The answer to that question came swift and painfully.
"In 2005 the Terri Schiavo case caused a debate across the country on the ethics of life support in our nation's hospitals, and who should have the power to make those decisions. Now a new case is grabbing national attention. On Saint Patrick's day a young woman by the name of Alexandra McConnell was struck by a drunk driver while returning home from an interview. After undergoing surgery the doctors placed McConnell on life support and announced she was comatose and would remain that way for an indeterminate amount of time. McConnell's parents, who are divorced, are fighting for the right to decide her fate."
The news cut to a shot of my father standing outside the hospital, his eyes bloodshot, "Alexa would never want to live this way. She had dreams and goals that were taken away from her by a drunk driver. Her mother is holding on because she can't deal with the fact that Alexa is already gone."
"Alexa has only been in a coma for a few months," my mother argued in a separate interview, "he isn't even giving her time to heal!"
I stared at the television screen, stunned. Though I had no physical body it felt as though my heart was beating out of my chest. I was alive.
I was alive.
I was still alive!
My mind was going a thousand miles a minute. I was alive. I had been alive this whole time. This whole time I could have been talking to Zak, getting him to help me. Instead I had been wasting it. Well, I wasn't going to waste a minute more.
"Zak!" I yelled, "Zak!" I heard the water shut off and the curtain open inside the bathroom.
"Zak!" I cried again. I waited for Zak to emerge from the bathroom. He did, several minutes later, wearing his pajama pants, a towel draped over his shoulder. He looked around the room in confusion.
"Hello?" he asked tentatively.
"Zak," I said, approaching him slowly. His face didn't register that he had heard me.
"Zak?" Still nothing. I stood right beside him, my chin nearly touching his shoulder.
"Zak, please hear me." Zak shook his head and wandered back into the bathroom, towel drying his hair. I stood there, stunned. I had a terrifying thought, then. A thought that, if true, could cost me my life.
"The white light isn't getting further away," I whispered aloud, "I'm getting weaker."
It was the only thing that made sense. When I was first dragged to Zak's side he could hear everything I was saying. He could feel me. He could see me on camera. Now, even shouting at him from a few feet away he couldn't hear me. I felt myself dropping into a depression once again. What was I supposed to do now? I had missed my chance to save my own life. Now I would have to suffer the consequences.
Zak came out of the bathroom, dropping the towel on the counter, and flipping off the light. He headed for the bed, a path that caused him to pass directly through me. I took a deep breath as he moved through me, soaking in his warmth and his energy. It is the oddest feeling, feeling as though you are one with another person. I could feel his heart beating inside his chest, merging with where mine should have been. He stopped, staring at the wall, wondering what he had just felt. I reached out and took his hand as best I could.
"Zak⦠I will make you hear me. I need your help." He shook his head as if clearing his thoughts, finished crossing the room to his bed and laid down. Flipping off the light he lay in bed channel surfing as if nothing had ever happened. I floated over to where he lay and laid down next to him, staring at the contours of his face. I had been living with him, silently, in his home for two months now and I had never taken the time to truly look at him.
He was beautiful.
I realized then that more than my life was in danger.
