It took me a good week to recuperate from Fort Delaware. It was getting harder and harder to regain my energy. When I was first pulled into the spirit world, to me, I looked as solid as the physical beings around me. Now, I had faded slightly. I wasn't see through, but there was definitely a bit of transparency to my skin.
Now that I was feeling better it was time to move forward with my plan. Zak knew I existed. Now, I had to get him to make the connection between me who he heard at Fort Delaware, and me who was currently haunting his house. As soon as I could make him understand that he was stuck with me I would have completed step one.
I stopped avoiding Ridley. For the first few days that I let him see me he growled and barked. But after awhile I think Ridley sensed my sadness, and took pity on me. He was now my unwitting ally in my quest.
One night I was sitting on a chair in the living room while Zak made dinner in the kitchen. Ridley trotted into the room and jumped up on the ottoman. He stared at me and started to cry. I knew he wasn't crying out of fear of me, but fear for me. Even he could sense my weakness. Zak came into the room, staring at Ridley in confusion.
"What's the matter, Ridley? Come on, let's get some dinner," he said, motioning Ridley into the kitchen. Ridley ignored him, and continued to whimper.
"Ridley?" Zak asked, coming back into the room. He came over to where I sat, and looked down at the small dog.
"What do you see, boy?" Before I knew what was happening, in an attempt to get in Ridley's attention, Zak sat down in the seat I was occupying. Our bodies immediately meshed together. I gasped at the intense feel of it. I blinked, and when I opened my eye I was staring at Zak. We were in a dark room, ten feet apart or so, staring at one another.
"Zak?" I whispered.
"Who are you?" he asked, his voice shaking slightly.
"Alexa," I replied. I didn't know what was happening, but I knew I had to take advantage. I had no clue how long this connection would last, or how much of my energy it was zapping, "Zak, please, you need to listen to me."
"Alexa," he interrupted, "Are you following me?"
"Yes, but I-"
"You're dead," he said, holding up a hand to silence me, "You need to move on. There isn't anything I can do to help you."
"You don't understand," I sputtered. I could feel tears running down my cheeks. I had something important to tell him and he was mucking it all up! He was going to kill me!
"Believe me, I do," Zak said, stepping forward, "You don't want to be dead. You may not even remember dying."
"Zak, shut up!" I cried. I didn't have the time he was wasting, "I'm not dead! I will be if you don't start listening to me!"
"I know it feels that way, but you are dead. I'm sorry, Alexa. But you need to get out!" Zak pushed me out of his mind then. I fell through the air, landing on the ground several feet away. I gasped for breath. Glancing back I saw Zak holding his head in his hands. Ridley was going crazy, running around the room barking.
"I was right about you," I said, though I knew he couldn't hear me, "I was right from the beginning. All of this is your fault. You're arrogant and selfish, and you're going to be the death of me!" I was screaming by the time I finished. Zak didn't even look up. Energy zapped once again, I crawled over to a spot in front of the fireplace to regain my strength. Ridley curled up by my head, whimpering softly.
"Don't worry, Ridley," I whispered, "I'll be dead and gone soon."
"It's happening again" Zak told Aaron. They were sitting in Zak's living room, Zak tense and tired, Aaron concerned.
"One followed you home again?" Aaron asked. Zak nodded, "Where from?"
"I don't know," Zak responded, shaking his head. I was doing my best to ignore them. It had been two days since Zak and I's confrontation. My body had faded more, the fight taking a lot of energy out of me. I knew that soon I would disappear for good. My soul would fade away before my parents pulled the switch and I would never get the chance to cross over, or perhaps get back in my body and live. These thoughts had tired me more than any amount of energy exertion ever could.
"Do you have any idea who it is?" Aaron asked.
"Alexa," Zak replied, "the woman who was at Fort Delaware. But I don't think she's from there. She said she was following me."
"Is she hot at least?" Aaron questioned, smirking. I peeked at them out of the corner of my eye.
"She's dead, Aaron."
"So? I'd rather have a hot ghost than a… not-hot ghost." Zak rolled his eyes.
"She's beautiful," he admitted, surprising me, "and stubborn, and a stalker." Yeah, that was more like it. I used my stored up energy to grab a throw pillow and launch it at Zak's head. It hit him square in the face. He didn't even flinch. I wasn't surprised. I'd been playing annoying poltergeist for the past two days. I figured if I was dying I might as well have some fun. Aaron, however, nearly jumped out of his skin.
"What the hell, dude?!" he yelled, standing on the chair like I was mouse that was skittering across the floor.
"Did I mention she's a pain in the ass?" I flipped him off, a gesture that unfortunately would go unnoticed.
"How long has this been going on?" Aaron asked, sinking back into his seat. Zak shrugged.
"The pillow throwing, television channel changing, radio playing annoyances? About two days, ever since I told her she was dead. I have no idea how long she's actually been attached to me. She won't talk to me anymore. She's like a little kid in time out."
Keep talking, Bagans. I was about to throw something a lot harder than a pillow at his head.
"It would be messed up if she really wasn't dead," Aaron said, laughing. I could have kissed him.
"Of course she's dead," Zak argued, "You can't just jump out of your body and stalk people." I moved over to his laptop which had Pandora Radio open. I thought maybe if I could get Aaron on my side that maybe Zak would listen. I stopped his music abruptly and forced Pandora to play the song to All Around Me by Flyleaf..
"What the hell?" Aaron said, startled. Zak looked over at his computer screen.
My hands are searching for you
My arms are outstretched towards you
I feel you on my fingertips
My tongue dances behind my lips for you
This fire rises through my being
Burning I'm not used to seeing you
I'm alive
I'm alive
"Very funny, Alexa," Zak grouched. I changed the song again.
Here you are down on your knees again
Trying to find air to breathe again
Right where I want you to be again
See and believe
"This is creepy, Zak," Aaron said.
"She's just trying to get a rise out of you. Ignore her," Zak told him.
"Maybe if we actually listen she'll find peace and cross over," Aaron pointed out.
Switch.
It's getting harder to stay awake
And my strength is fading fast
Switch.
The thing I treasure most in life cannot be taken away
There will never be a reason why I will surrender to your advice
To change myself, I'd rather die
Though they will not understand
I won't make the greatest sacrifice
You can't predict where the outcome lies
You'll never take me alive
I'm alive
I'm alive
I'm alive
"That's enough," Zak said, standing. He crossed the room, and turned off Pandora, closing the top of the laptop securely, "Alexa, I'm sorry, I really am. But… You. Are. Dead. You have to cross over." He gripped the edges of the computer chair, his head hung. Aaron came up and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"You should get some rest, bro," he told him.
"How am I supposed to rest with her haunting me?" Zak asked, frustrated. My heart sunk in my chest. I was just trying to survive. I never wanted it to be this way. Maybe it was time to let Zak go…
"Look, our job is to go beyond and try to prove something to the world that people don 't want to believe in. There are still tons of things that we don't understand," Aaron reasoned, "Maybe this is one of them. Just think about it." Aaron grabbed his jacket and left us alone after that. Zak sat down heavily on the couch, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. I noticed the dark circles beneath his eyes for the first time.
Zak was tired. He was frustrated. He wasn't able to relax in his own home and I was the cause. It wasn't Zak's fault that I was stuck. He was doing what he thought was best. That's all he ever did. He genuinely thought I was dead, and that I needed help moving on. Zak was kind. All he wanted was peace. For both of us.
I sat down on the couch next to him, and leaned my head in his chest. His breathing turned slow and deep. Glancing up at him, I raised my hand and ran my fingers through his hair.
That was the moment that I fell in love with Zak Bagans.
And that was the moment I gave up on my life in order to give him back his.
