New Chappy. Sorry it took so long, Fall semester of college is about to start, I've been super busy.
Enjoy.
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I awoke at five in the morning feeling a bit cold and weary. My shoulders ached like I'd been holding weight in my sleep and try as I might I couldn't close my eyes and fall back asleep.
Standing I slipped on my slippers and eased out of my room careful not to wake my Grandmother in Joel's room. Joel was working night shift again and was usually home by five thirty. I wanted to talk to him, to tell him what really happened and assure him that I was ok.
His futon wasnt pulled out so I took it upon myself to pull it out and make it up for him. Then pulling the covers up to my chin I stared up at the ceiling and waited. In the darkness my fingers moved against their own will to my shoulder where the eye was, still and watching. Could Joel see it too? Or was it just me? I'd have to put the question to him when he came home.
I cradled the eye in-between both my hands and closed my eyes. I didn't sleep, instead I put myself into a state of hibernation, neither awake nor sleep. The door opened about thirty minutes later. I could hear the shuffling of feet.
" Quiet," Joel whispered his voice like a husk.
" I know, don't want to wake the grandma, I understand completely," came a female voice. " God how long has it been?"
" Quiet!" Joel whispered fiercely. I opened both eyes and peered around in the darkness at the same time weight settled on top of me and someone yelped.
" What the fuck!"
I sat up, coming face to face with a red headed woman. The light switched on and I could finally see clearly. The woman looked me over before standing to her feet. Half her shirt was undone and her skirt was hiked up her leg.
" Molly what are you doing?" Joel asked. His shirt was off, his pants unbuttoned I could see the flesh underneath, I forced myself to look away.
I stood. " Nothing. Nothing. Just continue what you were doing."
The woman looked confused. " I thought you said the only person who lived here was your Grandmother and your roomat-. Wait you didn't tell me your roommate was a girl?"
" She's a girl," Joel said. I could feel him coming towards me. I sped up reaching my door at the same time he grabbed my arm.
" Molly, lets talk about this," he said.
I shook my head. " No I'm fine, your obviously busy right now." I said.
" He kinda is," the woman said. I turned to her my mouth opened ready to say something, she glanced back at me eyebrows raised. She flashed me a perfect tooth smile. " I'm in if you are honey."
I snorted in disgust and turned back to my door.
" It was nothing important," I said, " It can wait until tomorrow."
I couldn't look at him, at his messy hair, swollen lips, bare chest stained with lipstick, looking at him would only make me angry.
" Molly…"
I pulled my arm away and slid into my room closing the door tightly behind me. Locking it would do no good, Joel was strong enough to get in, he'd proven it before when he burst into my room to prove a point. But he didn't do it this time.
I pressed my ear against the door listening.
" My apartment is down stairs, we can continue there if you want."
No answer from Joel.
" Alright then…" the woman said. " Follow me."
The door clicked behind her. I slid down my door, my knees to my chin and stayed there until Joel returned two hours later.
He knocked on my door when he returned, when I didn't answer he pushed his weight against it and pushed until I felt my body moving forward and the door opened behind me. He stuck his head inside.
" Molly," he said softly.
" You done?" I barked still refusing to look at him.
"Yeah, you wanna talk now?" He asked. I shook my head.
" No not really," I lied.
He knew I was lying, he slid through the small space anyway and faced me. His eyes were pleading, but that didn't make any difference to me, I was angry.
" Your just like all the rest of those guys," I barked. " I hope your dick is nice and wet!" I shouted. The pleading look was gone now, replaced with anger. He hit the wall behind my head with this hand denting the plaster. I glanced up then.
" Yes, yes it is," he growled. " I have needs too Molly. I want and lust like every other man. Why are you so angry about it, Kit doesn't…" he trailed off. Was he going to say she meant nothing to him? Why did I care? I knew Joel had sex with other girls, I knew he sometimes brought them home. He was a guy and his needs were a bit more than mine.
" It's all that stops me from going after you," he said instead.
I looked up at him then.
" No surprise right?" He said rubbing his head. " I love you Molly…but I respect you too much to put you in that situation. And I want you too love me…really love me…not as a normal man but someone who respects and knows you…someone who's bed your not afraid to lie in just to talk."
I squeezed the eye then for comfort. Understanding now, still angry but understanding. I opened my mouth but no sound would escape. He touched my clenched hands reassuringly. I moved them apart slowly showing him the eye in-between them. At first I doubted he could see it, but then all doubt left me as he clenched his fist and narrowed his eyes.
He reached for it, I pulled it back just as fast.
" Molly!" He exclaimed. I stood backing away from him.
" You can't," I said finally finding my voice. " He came to me, and he left this in his place."
Joel took a deep breath. " Molly its just a ball," he said calmly.
" Then it shouldn't be a big deal," I said. But it was, Joel was once again hiding something from me. He knew who I was looking for. My anger welled up again. " Stop making me look insane! Tell me who he is? Tell me why I dream about him at night, every night. Tell me!"
" I won't," Joel insisted. " It'll just hurt you again. I can't protect you in that state."
Then I lunged coming at him with all my anger. He didn't dodge me, we collided his back hitting the floor as I slapped at his face. One hand shot out and grabbed the eye at the same time another grabbed both my thin wrists. I was pushed back away from him and was thrown onto my back.
" Would you just stop this madness Molly? Does your common sense not work? Why would we all go through these lengths if not to protect you?"
" I Just want to know the truth," I said. Tears were coursing down my cheeks then, hot and wet. " I know he's real…I know their all real. I was so happy then, I want that happiness back. Why can't I have it back?"
" Because…because it hurt you," Joel said. " Because that happiness came at a price. Because…"
" If you really loved me…you would tell me what I wanted to know," I said. " Who is he."
Joel sighed above me, his hand let go of my wrists and he slowly pressed his fingers to my cheek brushing back frizzled hair before running the pads of his fingers over my lips. " I can't," he whispered.
" Yes you can," I said.
" No," he said pulling away from me.
" Please."
He hesitated for a moment, his jaw clenching and unclenching before he turned to me.
" Ulquiorra," he said. I closed my eyes, I knew that was his name. " He's…" Joel took a deep breath. " Isn't that all you wanted to know?…"
" Why don't I remember anything really about him?"
" You were hit by a car…"
"It is a lie," I said. " There was no car accident was there?" Joel didn't answer. " Grimm was right, you guys have been lying to me this entire time. And I believed you."
" It's not a complete lie," Joel said. " Some things did happen…you almost died Molly. We had no choice."
" But to make me believe I was crazy?" I said. I stood up then. " The least you guys could have done was give me a choice. Everyone should have a choice when it comes to how they live their lives."
I went to the bathroom then to take a cold shower leaving Joel there with his thoughts.
As the water poured over my head and body I tried to recall all the things that could have happened to me in the past, remember all the faces I'd forgotten. And I reminded myself over and over that I wasn't crazy, that something had happened to me. That Ulquiorra was real.
I must have been in the shower for a while with my thoughts because Gram knocked on the door to remind me I had class. I opened the door slightly to glare out at her.
Did she know about everything too?
" Coming," I said shutting the door.
I dressed, pinned my hair back and walked back out to where Joel was frying eggs. He didn't say anything to me and I didn't say anything to him. He shoved a plate full of food in my hands and I dumped it on the table in front of Grams before heading to the door. He grabbed my arm.
" You can be angry all day long with me, but you have to eat." He said. I glared up at him.
" Are you going to force me Joel?" I asked. I could feel Gram's eyes on us.
Joel lowered his voice. " Molly lets not do this today."
" Tell me the truth and we won't have too," I said challenging him with my tone. " You think its hurting me not to eat? Its hurting me more to be lied to constantly."
" Molly," Joel whispered. " If you only knew what really happened, what would happen if I told you."
" If only I knew," I said pulling my arm away from his grip and walking out of the door. I would walk today. Even if I missed my first class. I would not be stuck in a car alone with Joel, not until he told me what I wanted to know. His love for me blinded all other reason, made him angry and stubborn.
" You still want answers?"
I turned suddenly my heart beating a mile a minute. Grimm stood beside me his hands in his pockets.
" Do you have them?" I asked willing my heartbeat to slow. He grinned. Something in my stomach twisted. I knew this person, he was trouble waiting to happen.
" Maybe."
"What is it? I'll give you-" I stopped short. I wouldn't give him anything I realized. " You don't want just anything do you?" I asked instead.
He clicked his teeth. " What makes you think I want anything from you?"
It took me a minute to realize I'd stopped walking and was facing him. " Earlier you said you wanted to kill me but you couldn't. What's stopping you?" I said. I sensed he was strong enough to kill me if he wanted to, and would under normal circumstances not hesitate to kill me if he had too, but something was stopping him.
I felt his arm wrap around my waist pulling me towards him. I tried to resist but my thin frame yielded anyway.
" I wonder what they do if I were to lay you down right here and fuck you in the middle of the street.?" Grimm growled. " They might just fight over who would get to kill me first." He laughed at that.
" First of all," I said pushing against him again. " No one would have to fight over anything because I'd already had killed you the moment you tried." Which was part of a lie, I was having a hard enough time making him let go, much less trying to kill him myself. " I don't need anyone to come to my rescue."
" Oh they'll come, "Grimm said tightening his grip around my waist until I could have swore his arm was an iron bar instead of flesh and bone. " They can't help their selves."
The air rushed around me, I closed my eyes. The feelings felt familiar and for some reason I wasn't as afraid as I should have been. Then abruptly it stopped. My butt hit the ground. I glanced around my surrounding taking in the scene.
Boxes were pilled high in one corner, long metal shelves stacked high almost touched the ceiling, to their sides old wires and hanging lights.
" Place ring any bells?" He asked me.
I turned to Grimm. " What are you talking about…"
A girl appeared in view, her skin was light brown her hair white as snow. When she noticed my eyes on her she looked down shyly.
" Rin is so happy," she said.
She looked familiar too, but I couldn't pin point where I'd seen her before. I straightened up my body and glanced around at my surroundings. I was standing in an abandoned building.
Probably a warehouse…the closest one is ten miles away…
The thought that maybe this was a bad idea, that maybe he was going to kill me after all, before the desire to know the truth overpowered it.
" You know if you wanted to get my attention kidnapping me was not the way." I said rounding on Grimm. " Take me back."
" Do you want to know the truth or not?" He barked.
" Yes but-"
" Then shut the hell up and listen for once." Then he walked ahead hands in his pockets leaving me with the blushing Rin girl. Still angry I started to follow him when the girl's hands on my arm stopped me.
" Rin wants to try and help Molly get back her memories," she said.
" If you think for a second I'm just going to let you-wait-. Really?" I asked grabbing her shoulders happily.
Still flushed she nodded nimbly.
" Something's telling me I can trust you," I said. Maybe a little too much. I couldn't say the same for Grimm through. Something inside was telling me not to trust him entirely. Even through I did let him bring me here. " What are you going to do Rin?"
" Rin will tear down walls blocking Molly's memories. Allowing Molly to retain her memories."
" You can do that?" I asked searching her face for some hit of falsehood.
She nodded.
" Ok better question," I said. " Why would you do that for me? You and Grimm both, you don't even know me."
She didn't hesitate to answer. " Rin's your friend. And she misses you. A lot of people do. Rin thinks even Grimmjow, through he'd never tell Molly that."
" Joel is behind this isn't he?" I asked.
Rin nodded. " And Ulquiorra, both of them decided to erase your memories themselves."
Both Joel and Ulquiorra…so Joel doesn't get all the fault for once.
" They both will come won't they?" I asked.
Rin nodded again.
I nodded. " I want to know the truth. Strew Joel and Ulquiorra and who ever else is trying to stop me."
It was my destiny, my decision. No one else got to choose who and what I remembered or who or what I forgot. No matter how much they felt it helped or hurt me.
" Ok." She stepped forward, then placing two fingers on my forehead she told me to relax, I closed my eyes. " Your mind must be at ease Molly," she said. " Ignore everything else around you. Nothing else matters."
Crash.
I opened both eyes. Grimm howled.
" Its about fucking time you showed up, I was thinking maybe I'd have to kill the girl to get your attention."
" Joel," I whispered turning in the direction I sensed he was. I couldn't see him. Rin pulled my face back towards her.
" Clear your mind Molly."
" Right." I said closing my eyes. I wiped everything I knew from my mind. Joel wasn't here, Grimm wasn't here, Rin wasn't here. I cleared my mind.
A shockwave of pain radiated through my skull and I fell into darkness.
When I opened my eyes I could see myself as I used to be. All large eyes, full cheeks and curved torso. There were no circles around my eyes or skin drawn tight over bones.
The me I could see bent down, hair swaying over her shoulder. Her hands were behind her back, her facial expression inquisitive. " Nice to see you again," she said.
I lifted one hand upward, the hand I lifted was stunted and chubby, the fingers too small and swollen to be my hands. They were the hands of a child.
I stood angling my face towards my legs and feet which were both stunted as well.
" You know you shouldn't follow random guys you don't know into abandoned warehouses that sort of things gets girls in trouble," the other me said.
" I know him," I yelled defensibly. Even my voice sounded different, more high pitched than usual.
" Right," she said. " Tell me his real name."
" Grimm."
"Grimm what?' She said.
I bit my lip. All I knew was Grimm. She folded her arms against her chest just as I would have.
" You really don't' remember…"
" I don't even know where I am right now," I said walking up to her. I had to look up to see her face, leading to the conclusion that my height was stunted as well. " Where are we?" I insisted.
" Inside your mind, while your body is laying on the floor of the warehouse while Grimmjow and Joel fight."
I found myself surprised by that. " Why are they fighting?"
" Because that's what they do," she said. " If you had your memories you'd know that those two don't really like each other, in fact they hate each other. And what nothing more than to kill the other."
" We have to help." I said to the other me. She blinked. Then bending down she leveled our faces.
" You don't even know what's going on. First you have to help yourself. This whole time you've been screaming for the truth. Lets find it."
" That's what I've been doing," I reminded her.
She smiled. " Ok. They never truly erased me , just put me the farthest part of the mind that you didn't use. So if you accept me your memories should come back gradually."
" Gradually…why not all at once?" I asked pulling back a little.
" The bonds holding you back as stronger than I am. I'm going to need time. The most important memories come first." She placed her hand on my forehead. " Are you ready."
I nodded again then locked eyes with her.
" Alright. Lets go." She said.
Information swam in my vision then, names, places, faces I didn't recognize. Voices rang in my ears, wind and rain touched my skin. I laughed, I smiled, I cried, I grew hot with anger. So many things were transpiring around me.
The just as abruptly as it started, it stopped.
I opened my eyes expecting to see my other self only to see someone different.
The figure with the green eyes and pale skin I'd seen in my dreams stared down aloofly at me. My other me was gone, and he was stealing my memories away.
Ulquiorra
Stupid girl…Ulquiorra thought as he opened yet another portal to the human world. She had gotten herself into trouble again, this time with Grimmjow. Although she had no memories of how dangerous he was, she should have had common sense like all humans did.
Yet she did not listen to reason, she only wanted what she wanted. And that was what she felt was stolen from her.
He landed in the warehouse amongst the fighting between Joel and Grimmjow. Regarding them both even after they stopped fighting and acknowledged him.
" This party is getting even bigger," Grimmjow howled. Ulquiorra shot him a glare over his shoulder before continuing forward where Rin kneeled next to Molly her fingertips against her forehead, her eyes closed in concentration.
" What the hell are you doing?" Joel yelled flashing next to where Ulquiorra stood.
" Your not supposed to be anywhere near-"
Ulquiorra considered ignoring the boy, only to realizing he'd have to kill the boy before he let himself be regarded that easily.
" We had an agreement did we not?" Ulquiorra said aloofly turning his head to look at Joel. " Do you want her to have her memories back?"
He felt the boys unease, he wanted to step in protect his precious Molly but knew that if he did she would regain what he'd help taken from her.
Humans are selfish creatures…Ulquiorra thought to himself as he slung Rin from her place near Molly. He had no liking for the girl since the day he'd met her, and still none after she abducted Molly and attempted to imprison him.
The girl hit the wall of the warehouse before standing and coming at him with her sword. He threw his hand out grabbing her by the face and holding her there with one hand. " I should kill you," he said. But he wouldn't, killing her would expend all his energy, energy he needed to reverse what she'd done.
Instead he threw her back against the wall. This time it was Joel who blocked her path.
" Stand down Rin," he commanded.
" How can you just let Molly be-"
" Because I must," Joel said. " Now stand down."
The girl dropped her sword. Satisfied Ulquiorra dropped to one knee beside Molly placing his fingertips against her heated forehead just as Rin had done.
He knew the technique well enough. Enter the mind of the person, trap the memory and imprison it in the deepest part of their brain. The only difficulty that would come would be suppressing any released memories.
He expelled his spiritual pressure. The mental boundaries of her mind had already been broken down eliminating that part of the process until all that stood was her memories and the person she was now.
A child and an adult were stooped before him.
The memory process had begun.
Wasting no time he approached the memory which was a healthy more adult version of herself. Expelling his spiritual pressure he struck the memory in the place where her heart would be. Its eyes widen in surprise, its mouth opened to say something before he imprisoned it again. She faded into darkness leaving only Molly.
He pushed his fingers up against her forehead pulling back the memories that were given sucking them into darkness as well.
Then her eyes opened.
Shock covered her tiny child face, confusion then anger. He continued caring not for what she thought, she wouldn't remember anyway. Her tiny hands came up then wrapping around his arms.
" No!" She screamed. "I'm done letting people make decisions for me. That means you too Ulquiorra."
The dark void that was her mind began to open up then swallowing everything else in light. He could see the workings of her mind, the memories bubbling forth. Feel the intensity of her long lost emotions. And with every sight, sound and touch he could feel his spiritual pressure being drained.
" Girl…" he began but it was too late. She pulled back first falling backward. He felt his body do the same.
Then the familiar darkness overtook him and he fell asleep.
Molly...what have you done my poor lost girl?
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