Sorry about the really really long wait. Between writers block and all the college work I have to get done, I barely have enough time, energy or ideas to spare. So please enjoy.
My brain is now mush because of this chapter...
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.
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" I came as fast as I could," Lor said bending down to face me. I was currently sitting with my head cradled in my knees, the phone on the floor where I'd left it after calling her over.
" Shit," she cursed. " That asshole, he knows not too-"
" It's my fault," I croaked.
" Like hell it is. It's never the woman's fault Molly, remember that."
I shook my head then buried my face in my knees again. I never really planned on calling Lor, but by the time I'd gotten my hands on my cell phone and dialed the number it was already to too late. I was sobbing and telling her what happened through jumbled sobs, not completely sure she could understand me anyway.
Her hands snaked their way around my shoulders and she sat there for a long moment not talking.
" I'm sorry," I said wiping my eyes. " I'm so sorry."
" Don't apologize. So you and Joel broke up no big deal that happens all the time in the world of relationships. Remember how many times John and I used to break up before he realized he was a dick and changed."
" He's in love with me," I said pathetically.
" I could have told you that," Lor said. " Do you love him?"
I nodded. " But…"
" But…" Lor said.
" But, there's someone else too."
Lor raised a eyebrow. " Oh, love triangle…"
" Well two more people-"
" Molly…"
" But the third one doesn't count, he's more of a annoying circumstance."
" Right," Lor said. I could see by the look on her face that she was trying her best to put the pieces together in her head, without making me look like a complete slut. " So the first one more important."
" Yes," I said.
" What are you going to do?"
I shook my head. " Joel hates me," I said miserly.
" He does not hate you," Lor said. " He's just angry, John gets like that sometimes too. He says shit he really don't mean."
" Yeah but…"
She grabbed my chin then making me face her. " But nothing. Just give Joel a few days, he'll come to his senses. He never was the smartest fucker in the bunch. Now come on you have class and I have a kid to drop off at day care."
I'd honestly forgotten about class. It seemed like a week since I went. I stood up to my full height, using the walls as support. I washed off in the restroom and slipped on a pair of jogging pants and a sweat shirt. Avoiding the mirror the entire time, I didn't need to see my bloodshot eyes or swollen lips to be reminded of how crappy I felt.
Lor was waiting for me by the door when I finished. When I reached her she placed a hand on my hair and pushed it down gently. " It's getting kinda long," she said.
" What do you say, after class you come down to my house and I'll cut it for you."
I nodded not knowing what else to say. The ride over to the college was quiet, and when we finally arrived Lor hugged me and kissed my cheek. " Shit will work itself out. It always does."
I nodded again then stepped out and headed to class. It did no good getting my mind off my troubles. And by the time it was done I learned no more then when I first went in. I had two hours to waste before my next class and I was seriously considering not going at all. But thought better of it and instead sat at a bench in the courtyard weighing my options.
So far I only encountered Ulquiorra once, and he was trying to steal my newfound memories. Then I tried to kill him, so it wasn't a happy reunion. Still I needed to speak to him. Find out where we stood.
" Looks like your all alone." Someone said behind me. I turned my head suddenly. Grimmjow sat on the bench beside me, arms curled behind his head, legs crossed casually. Without thinking I lunged at him.
The motion did me little good, because he was already waiting for me. He took both my hands in one his large ones and pushed me backwards until my back and head slammed against the wood of the bench. I cried out in surprise and stopped struggling as pain ran down my spine.
He smiled down at me, as if he'd won some terrible prize. " Ready to give up?"
" Why do you do this Grimmjow?" I asked breathlessly. In addition to the pain radiating in my back and neck, I was also having a hard time breathing with him on top of me. " I thought you hated me. It would be better if you did." I said as tears welled up in my eyes and my body shook uncontrollably.
His eyes widened in surprise, then he pressed his free hand against my neck and squeezed slightly. " Don't start that human crying shit!"
" Do it Grimmjow," I said. " I've never wanted to die as much as I do right now."
His hand stayed where it was. " You can't can you," I said. " Because you…"
His grip tightened around my neck. I let out a strangled cry. " Don't start comparing me to fucking humans. I'm nothing like you fucking meat bags. I take what I want, I do not pretend to have human feelings," he spat. " I don't need em."
" I want to help you Grimmjow," I said.
He stood up then releasing my hands and neck. Then shoving his hands in his pockets he looked down at me with eyes that were as cold as the day we met. " I do not need your help." Then turning he started to walk away. Standing quickly I found my footing and ran after him.
My fingers and toes were tingling as I reached out and grabbed his arm. A jolt of what felt like electricity passed between us, and Grimmjow turned at the same time I lost my balance and fell forward.
" The fuck," I heard Grimmjow say before I fell to my knees.
" Take me with you," I said. " To where Ulquiorra is."
" Why should I?"
" It'll make Ulquiorra and Joel angry," I said. " Joel might even come after you…"
" In that case I should just kill you." He replied.
" I'll also consider…" I hesitated before I answered. " Sleeping with you." That was a lie of course. I would never sleep with Grimmjow, but I had to get to where Ulquiorra was. I had to prove to myself and Joel that my voice was not in vain.
He chuckled. " I don't fuck skinny bitches."
I bit my lip and searched my head for another excuse, when Grimmjow's hand around my waist pulled me back to attention. He'd opened a portal and was pulling me through.
Ulquiorra
What is this…Ulquiorra thought as he lay staring at he ceiling above. Since the day he traveled to the human world to take Molly's memories back he was slowly feeling Molly slipping away.
He lifted his left hand above his face examining the skin and texture. He could not say why but he felt a tab bit weaker as well, as if Molly had stolen a lot more than intended. Which would not be the first time she'd done such a thing.
She was stubborn and steadfast and listened to no one, nor accepted any reason. In some way she was just like Grimmjow.
Why did I not kill you when I had the chance girl…He thought.
Curiosity? Humans had always interested him, she had always interested him. He closed his eyes intending to fall into a deep hibernation, not quite sleep yet not quite awake. For hollows as he'd explained to Molly innumerable times, did not require sleep like humans did.
He thought, for he could not dream, of the whiteness from which he arose, of the despair and loneness he felt, although he was surrounded by others. The sensation of being rejected by those who were also rejected. A never ending paradox of nothing. Everything had disappeared.
Then there was her face, that woman. Orihime, she appeared then disappeared, covered in the blankness that was once his only memory. Smiling as if all was ok, as if she wasn't covered in nothingness. For her he felt nothing.
" I will save you…"
He voice, through the blankness, the void, the all consuming nothingness. Yet there he could hear nothing.
" I will save you…"
Closer, she was closer than before. Hand touched him, although he could not feel. Her scent surrounded him, yet he could not smell.
He turned his eyes to her form then, she was different. Gone was her tan skin, replaced with a white that resembled his own, cyan lines descended down her cheeks, curling at their ends to form half circles at the base of her lips. Her eye color was the same, but gone were the whites of her eyes, replaced with reflection less black, replaced with the eyes of a hollow. Her skin was warm yet hard, and smooth like stone.
Yet with all the changes, it was still Molly. Molly who held him tight, Molly to gazed up at his gruesome form with eyes wide and filled with admiration. Her appearance had changed, and yet…
His clawed hands pushed back the hair covering her shoulders, and chest. There at the base of her neck, a circle, a void of nothingness.
Her heart was gone.
Gone.
Gone.
Gone.
He opened his eyes.
There she was, leaning over him. Long hair brushing his cheeks, eyes widened in a perplex surprise, mouth opened. She let out a small sound that crossed between a frightened animal and a surprised girl.
Then smiling she said warmly. " Your awake."
He sat up quickly, stiffly and faced the blank wall, opposite of her.
" What are you doing here, girl?" He asked coldly.
" You were having a nightmare weren't you?" She said as if not hearing his question. He stood and faced her, looming over her thin, fragile frame. She backed up then, moving away from him until her back hit the wall. He let his eyes roam over her figure. She was wearing a long white rope, pulled tightly at the waist. Her collarbones and the cleavage of her breast was exposed. Her feet were bare and she smelled faintly of the colorless almost scentless soap the arrancars used to cleanse their own bodies.
" I asked you a question girl," he said.
She looked down. " I asked Grimmjow to bring me here…"
Grimmjow of coarse, the arrancar lived only to complicate things. It was no surprise he would bring her here for his own amusement.
" You will go back," he said turning away from her. " Now."
She hesitated a moment before replying. " No."
He almost couldn't believe what he'd heard, before he remembered this was Molly he was speaking too. She would be obstinate. He would have to use force, he would have to be cruel.
He turned his green eyes to her. She didn't look any healthier than she was when he last saw her. She as still thin, her hair had been combed but lacked its once luster and shine, and slight black circles rounded her eyes.
" This place will drain your strength," he said matter of factly. " You will die here girl."
She shook her head. " I'm still not going."
" You wish to stay. Why?" He barely wanted to be here, in the place where hollows rotted, and nothing grew. This was a prison cell and yet she wanted to stay.
" I want to help you."
This time he was ready for her. " What can you do girl? There is no help for me."
" Yes, there is ," he exclaimed stepping towards him, then thinking better of it and moving back again. " I dreamed about you every night…I dreamed you were in your dark form. You would bind me and pull me close…and I would say I wanted to help you. And you would say it was too late…then…" She paused as if not wanting to say the words. Although he already knew what they were.
He would die, fade away into the nothingness in which he was born. Is that what she wished to save him from? Death? Or was it the nothingness?
I should kill her…end her suffering…he thought. She was human, he was hollow, void of all feeling, of all human emotion.
" I know it was you calling out to me. You may not know it or accept it yet, but it was."
She stepped closer, her hands reaching out.
I should stop her…I should kill her now…But he couldn't move. Her fingers found his cheeks first, warm and soft they made his hard skin tingle.
He liked it.
He didn't like it.
The close proximity. Her breath on his lips, her hands on his face.
He suddenly remembered the kiss from before, the way her lips felt, how warm and soft her female body was. It was experimental of course, at the time he wanted to experience that experience for himself. He thought about the arrancar girl's Grimmjow brought to him as well, each fashioned to look like Molly, but none of them actually her. He remembered how disgusted he was. He tried to bring back that same repulsion now.
The Hollow desire was a fascinating thing, one Aizen studied along with other hollow behaviors. He found as in the case of Ulquiorra, some were more prone to instincts than others.
He grabbed her wrist suddenly. He tightened his grip until her face contorted with pain and she winced and whimpered. He could not be a slave to instinct. After all before he became an arrancar, instinct told him to eat, yet he had not mouth, instinct told him to hear yet he had not ears, instinct told him to touch yet he could not feel. Instincts now were telling him to put aside all reason and devour the girl, body and soul.
He would not allow himself to become trapped within her again. Would not allow himself to be come chained. He cared not how much his inner hollow, longed to bind itself to something, someone. He was just starting to let her go, it was better it stayed that way.
" Ulquiorra…"
Do not call me with that sickly sweet voice…do not bind me. How he wanted it so. To be bind with her. To keep her with him, let no one else see her, let no one else touch her, let no one else speak to her. Hollows were selfish creatures. They would rather destroy that which they chained than share it with anyone else. And more often than not they did.
It as negative emotions they clang to. In his case it would be her loneliness, her insecurity, her grief.
She was like a drug.
She called his name again.
He turned his eyes upward, gazing into hers. Then bringing her hands up he rubbed her knuckles against his own lips, feeling the soft skin give under his. He could break her just as easily as one breaks a twig. So fragile, so soft in body and sprit. Another thing Hollows liked, hearts that easily bent and broke, bodies that they could twist and misshape at will. Breaking both down until their was nothing left, turning the person into a husk, into a Hollow.
He wanted to break her.
Protect her…
Ruin her…
Chain her…
He wanted more than he knew a arrancar should. Hollows were greedy by nature, so it only made sense.
She breathe, ready to say his name again. Reaching over he pushed his hand over her mouth and nose holding it there, steady and hard a stone. Her eyes widened, her chest heaved. He could hear her struggling for breath, feel her heartbeat increasing. She whimpered and clawed at his hand, her broken delicate fingernails not even marking the hard skin. He wanted to control her life.
She is a pathetic human, he thought coldly making no move to remove his hand. She cannot even save herself…
Tears collected at the corner of her eyes then, spreading until they fell from her eyes and coursed over his hands, salty and wet. He watched them with aloof, calculating eyes before slowly removing his hand from her mouth and nose. She started to fall under the weight of unconsciousness then, before he grabbed her with both hands and held her still.
" You are weak," he said lifting her body into his arms. He opened the portal and began to step through Molly in his arms, pausing when he felt her stir.
What would she do when she awoke and found she was back? No doubt she would continue to erode herself, until there was nothing left. Cry and mourn until she drowned in her own sorrow. She would die.
He could not allow that.
I woke up on Ulquiorra's couch. He was no where in sight, and on the table in front of the couch was a cup of water and a bowl full of grey slimy pudding. I drank the water which tasted a lot like iron and ignored the bowl. Then pushing the door open I stepped out into the empty white hallway.
I walked down the hall, expected at any moment for either Ulquiorra, Grimmjow or some other arrancar to come baring around the corner to drag me back to the room. But no one came, so I continued walking until I reached another set of doors, pushing them open I stepped through.
I was hit with a blast of cold air, and the dank musty smell of still water. Opening my eyes against the blinding cold I glanced around. I was outside. I continued forward, my bare feet sliding over the fine roughness of sand. A crescent moon stood in the sky, providing a tiny shimmer of light to the otherwise bleak darkness. Mere sticks more than trees stood atop the rolling hills of sand, desolate and lonely, each spread a ways from each other.
I touched the nearest tree, pinching the stick like branch between two fingers. It broke off to my surprise, the remainders shattering to the wind, fading away as if never there. It reminded me of my dreams, of how Ulquiorra faded away into dust, into nothingness.
I shook the thought away as I stepped out further.
" What are you doing outside girl?"
I stopped where I stood.
" Your letting me stay?" I asked cheerfully.
" Do not be stupid girl, you are arrancar."
"Arrancar?" I repeated turning to face Ulquiorra. In his large green eyes I could see myself. My skin was paler than usual, my hair longer. Purple lines much like Ulquiorra's curled down my cheeks creating half circles at my lips. My normal eye color was the same but gone were the whites of my eyes, replaced with black. Two small horns peeked out from between my hair. Where my heart should have been, there was a circle. " Ulquiorra what's going on-"
" MOLLY!"
I turned. Joel stood in my wake, sword in hand, breath labored. I grinned and ran towards him, ready to embrace him, and explain myself again.
The moment my skin found his he attacked driving the tip of his blade into my chest. Blood curled down my lips and I grabbed his quivering hand and peered into his eyes.
" W-why Joel?"
" You're a monster," he whispered pulling the sword free. I fell to the sand, dead.
ZOMBIE! BRAINS! Arrrggghghghgh
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