A/N: Hey! Here's my chapter for the amazing letter B! This time, the letter is going to all of the Marauders! I'm planning on alternating on who the letter is written to, depending on the letter/topic. And who I feel like writing at the time! So this is, again, for The Alphabet Challenge, and this time, also for The Rumors Competiton! Please R&R!

Disclaimer: Do I look rich to you? Do I look like JK Rowling? If you answered yes, I suggest you check in to St. Mungo's immediately. You must be suffering from mental confusion. I own nothing but my little blurps of ideas that I've based off of the world of Harry Potter (of which, I sadly own nothing.)


Dear Maruaders,

Dear Marauders,

There's this boy.

Well, he's more than just any ordinary boy.

He's handsome, charming, smart, funny, and I think I like him.

Or love him...

But I didn't want anyone else to know. I mean, I told my best friend, but she's not the type to tell everyone.

But now the whole school knows.

HELP!

Sincerely,

Happily Available

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Dear Happily Available,

First off, since you decided to write to all four of us, we are now crowded around a small piece of parchment on a tiny table in the middle of the Gryffindor Common Room. I am now much closer to Wormy than I ever wanted to be.

Pads, that's rude. Moony here, Happily Available. Ah, rumors, ay? Well, I'd say that the best way to deal with that would be to -

Moony, we all know what you're going to say. World peace, et cetera, et cetera. Now let ol' Prongs teach you how this is done:

First, you'll want to laugh it off! They won't continue talking about it if you don't care.

Second, talk smack about your frien-

Prongs, just stop, will you! Umm... Wormtail here, and I don't have much advice, but what I can say is: Don't listen to Prongs or Padfoot. Trust me. It'll get you nowhere.

Okay, Padfoot - and Prongs - is back! Just follow Prongs' advice above! Plus, if the guy is shy (hehe...Pads, that rhymes!) ANYWAY! It'll draw attention to him, too. You can both hide out in a secret passage or something, until all of this blows over (which should take about a month or two). Just snatch a bunch of food from the kitchens, and spend some quality time with your crush! You'll be inseparable from then on! And you won't care what everyone else says!

However much I like to think that Padfoot (and Prongs, for that matter) is completely off his rocker, I gotta hand it to him! That actually made some sense. Apart from the whole hide-in-a-secret-passage-for-a-month-and-starve-to-death part.

Glad you see it my way, Moony! Hope that helped your little problem, Happily Available! Maybe now you can change your name to Happily Taken!

Sincerely,

The Marauders


A/N: The italics indicated a change of character speaking (or writing, I suppose...). Hopefully, it was kind of clear who was writing. A day without reviews is like a day without Harry Potter. You know how that is. Please!