It's My Life
Disclaimer: I own nothing except for Charlene.
Chapter 8: Motherhood
It hadn't been long since they arrived back to camp. Charlene tenderly cleaned Derek up at the watering hole. Lori had been kind enough to offer him some of Carl's clothes. Before all that kindness though, the women of the camp ranted and raved about the risk they had taken and how worthless it had been.
Charlene was enraged by their simple selfish stupidity. How could it have been worthless when they returned with enough weapons to arm the people at the camp? Their camp was capable of putting up a moderate defense now. Even more so, they saved a child from a gruesome death- how was that worthless?
The world they were in was fucked up beyond anything she had ever witnessed in her entire life. Charlene was the first to admit she hadn't seen the worst that this new life had to offer- but that was mainly because of her lack of dependents. She had no one that she had particularly cared for until she came to this camp and was reunited with Shane.
Charlene had friends now she had to fight for and now a child she needed to care for. She was no mother of any sort, but she would raise the little boy in the best way she could to prepare him for survival. He would survive even if it killed her. Abigail's death had been a breaking and learning point for the woman. She truly realized the unfairness of life and how unprepared so many people had been.
She needed to give this boy that chance to live- to survive and enjoy all the wonders and joys of life. Just because the dead had returned did not mean there wasn't still joy to be had. Charlene was a prime example of this- she found joy in those around her. Sure, she was rough around the edges- had an awful temper and obviously didn't know to keep her hands to herself after that incident with Ed- but she was truly happy.
Derek sat in the water quietly. Charlene tilted his chin to face her and noticed the silent streams of tears rolling down his face. His lower lip quivered as the dirt and grime was slowly washed away to reveal the soft, childish skin. "Hey, knock that shit off. Crying ain't gonna help none- all it does is make ya' miserable, so quit it."
The young boy hung his head in shame. "Sorry, Char. I miss my sister." His voice was quiet and it struck a chord in her heart. Her lip twitched and she quickly rolled it between her teeth as she thought of how to respond to a child. "This world we live in, there's gonna be a lot more sadness than there was before."
His bright green eyes focused on her cerulean ones. The woman slid the shirt over his head, "But because of that sadness you need to learn to focus on the good. We're alive, we're breathing, and everything is fine. You have a long life to live as long as you listen to me. And even if this life sometimes seems like it fucking sucks- there is joy. There always will be. Do you understand?"
Derek nodded his head. "Good, lets get back to camp."
As Charlene reached down to take his hand, her shoulder gave a low, painful throb. Upon their return they had found that her shoulder was dislocated from the jerking of the tailgate. Daryl was all too happy to knock it back into place. Charlene knew it was because he enjoyed the 'this is what ya' get, dumb bitch' moment he got from it.
The woman snorted to herself. Jackass. Carl called out, "Hey, Derek!" The young boy looked up at Charlene pleadingly, and she patted him on the back and sent him on his way. The seven year old child sprinted towards the group of children. Shane appeared beside her, "Playing mother now, huh?"
Charlene scowled. "Fuck no, I ain't no mother."
Her brother's face wrinkled into a large smile and he laughed knowingly. "You were always so terrible with children. Like you said, God seems to have a sense of humor putting one into your care."
"And also that this child has the name of my dead asshole of a husband."
Shane gave a noise of agreement. He dragged his hand through his wild hair. "Did you ever want children?"
His sister gave a small shrug, her arms crossed and her hip jutted out as she watched the children play. "Mmm. Maybe I would've eventually- but as you know any chance of children was pretty much destroyed early on." She gave a dry, cruel laugh. Shane shot her a knowing and hatred laced look.
Suddenly Amy spoke from behind them; shock was evident on her features. "You can't have children?"
Charlene's eyebrows jumped into her hairline, she and Shane shared a look before Amy spoke again quickly. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I was just passing by- sorry." The young woman's head dropped. Charlene smiled halfly, "Yeah, my husband broke my baby making machine early on in our marriage."
Amy cringed heavily. "I-I-uh- that's terrible."
Charlene waved her hand dismissively. "It's in the past now, I'm over it."
The blonde girl continued curiously. "Is that how you got those scars?" The older woman bit her lip mostly in irritation. She shoved it in the back of her mind and gave another shrug. "Nah, those are from my deployment."
"What happened?" Charlene shot a look at the young woman- her patience was wearing very thin. Shane suddenly spoke, "Char was a prisoner of war- they tortured her for information."
Charlene slapped her brother's chest. He laughed, "You should tell that story tonight around the fire- it's just like what happened today. 'Crazy fuckin' woman' and her damn heroics, in the words of our favorite local redneck."
Amy laughed and smiled. "You should, Char! You're so much more interesting than everyone else-" She paled suddenly and tried to recover herself, "I mean! I don't mean that your- uh, god. I don't mean that your time is entertaining- shit. Sorry." Charlene laughed loudly as Amy gave up and hung her head.
"You're as bad as Glenn."
Her cheeks tinged pink as she muttered another sentence and got away from her as fast as she could. Charlene faced Shane and growled warningly, "You better watch your back. What the fuck did you have to mention that shit for?"
Her brother gave her an annoyingly unfazed grin. "It's a good story, I don't understand why you don't tell it more."
"Maybe because I don't like being pitied or hearing those bullshit sighs of sympathy and being fucking coddled."
"Believe me, no one here is gonna fucking come near you. I hate to agree with the redneck-"
"His name is Daryl." She interjected with an unimpressed look.
"-Yeah whatever- as much as I hate to agree with Daryl- you're fucking crazy and no one wants nothing to do with your brand of crazy."
Charlene rolled her eyes. "Thanks, brother. I feel so much better." He slapped her on the shoulder making her wince and growl in response. "You bet, kiddo."
"Fucker." She mumbled after his retreating back while she rolled her sore shoulder.
Charlene never did notice Daryl sitting nearby during the whole conversation. He pretended to be totally engrossed with the new weapons they had picked up while he listened to the trio. His face contorted with each brand of information and finally a small smirk settled on his lips as Charlene corrected Shane's verbal abuse of him.
He couldn't lie to himself – the woman was getting under his skin.
So, this was originally much longer and would have been posted much sooner but I decided to wait on reviews. In comparison to my other stories, reviews are particularly low sooooo I've decided that maybe I should halt the production of this story and reevaluate the plot, characters, and such.
It'll stay up, but I need to go through and figure out how to improve it. I've never written a fanfic over a story like this, so it's pretty much an all-new ball game for me. As you can obviously tell, I am very much action-centered, and I think that may be this story's down fall. I need to kinda go through and just start adjusting things.
I am leaving in about a week for bootcamp, so I'll be out of action from fanfiction and basically all technology for about two and a half months, but I'll return here and soon as I can and have the story completely renewed :)
I would like to thank all y'all for your support thus far and hope I can deliver a satisfying return in a few months!
Sincerely,
Blitz
