It's My Life

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for Charlene.

Inspired by 'Civilian' by Wye Oak

Chapter 13: Civilian


Daryl leaned against the wall. It had been several hours since Charlene had been forced to run. The image of her staggering up the street while several of the geeks reached for her hungrily was burned into his brain. Stupid woman. He knew she had just been trying to save Glenn, and that he should be angry at the dumb ass Mexicans that hit her with the car, but if she had just stayed put- she would still be alive. Stop. No geek was gonna drop Char, she was too stubborn and she didn't have a gun to kill herself- there was no out, but survival.

He snarled as his mind replayed her tiny body slamming into the windshield and then the pavement. She bashed her head terribly against the ground and the sound it made on contact echoed in his ears. Daryl couldn't explain why he was all worked up over Charlene- he knew she had been getting under his skin for a while now. It was her loyalty though, she had always been there- and now more than ever she needed someone to be there for her.

His fingers ran over the slick metal of her bow. It glimmered under the moon's light- she didn't even have her fucking bow. Daryl growled in dismay and let his head drop between his bent legs. "I'm sorry about your woman."

His eyes snapped to the young Hispanic sitting against the wall opposite of him. He glared angrily, "She's not my woman."

Miguel shrugged, "Coulda fooled me." There was a pause as the kid looked out the window. "I don't think they were trying to hit her." Daryl growled, "Doesn't really matter now does it? She got hit by your people and now she's out there by herself." This silenced the kid and he lowered his head to his chest.

The hunter grumbled to himself as he chewed on his thumbnail agitatedly. He stared out the window into the city. The walkers shambled around without purpose- he held a desperate pleading hope deep down that he might see that familiar flicker of movement in the streets. Her quick and lithe sprint from cover to cover. He dropped his head into his hands. Stupid woman.


Charlene squatted beside Maya. The dog's tongue lolled out as she panted under the heat of the desert. "I need you to stay here, girl. I'll be back soon with Jack and the others." Her hand ruffled the animal's head and she felt a lick and smiled at the dog.

It hadn't been many hours ago when Charlene had awakened in the rubble of the base. Maya stood guard over her limp body- she survived the blast with nothing more than some bruises and cuts along her backside. It was then she set out for the town nearby only to find all of her soldiers had been killed that had been enroute.

Charlene stole a few robes from some woman and had made her decision for a rescue of the SEALs. It wasn't a smart or particularly great plan- but it would get her inside the compound.

She turned and left Maya whining behind her. Pulling the silken fabric over her face she approached the massive doors of the base. She would pose as a prostitute and be drawn inside where she would kill the first man that took her to bed. From there she would dress in their uniform and rescue her men.

It sounded so simple- but she knew at any moment something could go wrong. She patted a hand on her throwing knives and kabar and the pistol strapped around her thigh. She smoothed the long robe-like clothing as the doors opened.

Several men stood before her- all armed to the teeth. Their faces contorted into disgusting grins as they beckoned her inside. Charlene gritted her teeth as she felt their hands all groping her while she passed by them. The man she had approached nodded his head and spoke in his native tongue, "Follow me."

Charlene was not good with their language by any means- she was lucky that women were never to speak unless spoken to. She would have to kill whoever spoke to her- she did not speak the language as well as she understood it and she didn't even understand it all that well.

Her stomach dropped as she realized the man was leading her to the main chambers. She hadn't planned this rescue to be an assassination, but it was now looking to be that way. She would have to kill the man in charge of this whole operation.

The woman walked into the large circular master bedroom. A man lay on the bed. He looked every bit a part of the position he played as a leader- older, full-bearded, and not an ounce of muscle tone to his body. At least he wouldn't be difficult to subdue. He waved her over and muttered a few words she couldn't quite understand.

Charlene stopped at the edge of the bed when the man stood before her. His beady, black eyes stared piercingly into hers and then suddenly his hand swept across her face and turned her body from the force of impact. The breath rushed out of her in surprise of the stinging handprint that welted across her face.

The fabric fell and she froze when the man jerked her face to him. His eyes widened and she smirked at his surprise. He knew exactly who she was. Her hand jerked a blade from her belt quicker than the man could realize what was happening and embedded it deep into his throat. He gurgled in shock as the blood flowed over her hands.

His knees began to drop to the floor and Charlene wrapped an arm around his to lay him down quietly. The blood pooled around his body and her feet. She began searching the room feverishly for an assault rifle. Her eyes caught sight of an armoire. Charlene pulled it open and an excited grin contorted her dirty war-beaten face.

Her hands wrapped around an M-16 that she quickly checked and pulled several clips from the cabinet. Unfortunately she couldn't find a uniform that she'd be able to wear and be safe. She might as well just stay in the black nomadic robes she already had on. Abayah is what they called it, she believed- but she wasn't completely sure.

She exited the main chambers slowly and carefully. Her body swept through the shadows of the building towards the lower levels. Prisoners were held below ground in a dungeon of sorts. There they could effectively smother the screams of the pain and horror they inflicted on their victims.

The very thought turned Charlene's stomach. She had been a fucking firefighter before- and here she was smack dab in the middle of a goddamn war on a fucking unauthorized rescue mission. She's never done this shit before- she wasn't even sure it would do any good.

There just wasn't anyway she could rest easy leaving these men behind- her brothers and friends. It was wrong and it just wasn't in her to let them go without trying. They would do it for her, so she sure as hell would do it for them.

The underbelly of the compound was dark and dank. She could hear the sound of water dripping and creatures scurrying through the cells. The moans of pain from the wounded haunted her mind as she crept along silently. Her eyes searched each of the cell rooms she passed.

The one closest to the end of the row of cells trapped five men. They were all badly beaten and weary looking. Charlene stopped and the one in the center looked up suddenly with an incomprehensible look of rage. Charlene raised the palm of her hand, "Where's the keys?"

Jack crept to the bars; his hands grasped them in total bewilderment. The men in the cage gave quiet whoops of joy. "We knew you'd come for us!" "We're getting' outta here boys!"

Charlene ignored them as Jack whispered, "I fuckin' told you to get out of here."

She smiled, "Yeah, well I was never very good at following orders, was I?"

The man was caked in blood and shook his head slowly. He told the others to the shut the hell up, before turning back to Charlene. "The keys are on the guard in that room right there. Three guards, usually stand at opposite sides of the room while one administers the tortures. They exchange the keys amongst themselves so you'll have to search their bodies. Once you get us out, we'll go through that room- there's a door at the far end that leads out into the desert."

"Got it." The woman turned to head into the room when she felt Jack's hand grip her arm. "Be careful, Char."

She gave him a cocky grin, "Made it this far, didn't I?"

He gave a weak, raspy laugh. "I'd like to see you make it all the way." Charlene didn't say anything, but nodded her head in understanding. They shared one last look before she ducked into the room. Her body stilled as she heard a bone-chilling scream echo through the hallway towards the torture chamber.

The woman gripped her weapon to her chest and gritted her teeth. She peeked through the small square window in the center of the door. A guard stood to the left of the door and the other two stood in the corners opposite his wall. A man was in the center hunched over a victim who was convulsing violently in the armchair.

She drew back and sucked in a shaky breath. Charlene shouldered her assault rifle and pulled her handgun from its holster. The woman licked her chapped lips slowly.

Now or never.

Charlene booted the door violently and lifted her pistol and fired off two shots rapidly. The bullets pelted the skulls of the two men on the opposite side of the room. She grabbed the man's assault rifle to her left as he held down the trigger. The bullets ricocheted and screamed throughout the room. Her knee connected with his gut and she beat her handgun across his face.

Her body slammed his into the wall and she delved her kabar deep into his chest. Her cerulean eyes glittered fiercely as she watched the life drain from his eyes. The warmth of his blood spread over her hands. Charlene suddenly jerked back- her eyes went to the fourth man who had fallen dead on top of the tortured victim- killed by friendly fire of the dumbass she had just stabbed.

She wiped the blade on the silken robes and sheathed her kabar. Charlene retrieved the keys and was leading the SEALs out into the torture chamber when she heard shouts from the end of the cellblock. Jack tossed a couple assault rifles to his men, Charlene handed him hers and withdrew her handgun.

The door to the room was suddenly blown off its hinges. Charlene ducked and kicked over the table near the back of the room. Bullets began pelting the wall and table safeguarding her body. Jack ducked his head beside her as he fired over the edge of their barricade. "You need to get out of here!" She yelled over the gunfire.

His eyes jumped to hers with a certain amount of alarm. "We're not leaving you, Char!"

She laughed dryly when she ducked her head again. "Ya don't have a choice, I didn't come back to save y'all just so one of ya' guys can die, so that I could escape. Get the fuck out of here! They won't kill me, women are too valuable, remember?"

The man's expression contorted into rage. "Char! I'm not leaving you to this!" The woman fired over the top of the table. She dropped to the floor again and glared at him angrily, "I'm not leaving, Jack. You better get outta here so you can lead your men to safety. Once y'all get back to the States, try and convince the government to come save my ass, yeah?"

He punched the table furiously. Jack turned to his men and motioned for them to make way for the door. He and Charlene leapt up and began providing covering fire from the several terrorists at the end of the room and hall. Jack yelled in pain and fell to the floor; Charlene pressed her back against the table as her head ducked the bullets continuously firing overhead.

Her ears rang with the scream of the weapons and the sound of her heart beating in her throat. Charlene rolled closer to Jack and saw the blood oozing from his shoulder. He gasped in pain as her face paled. "You need to leave now- Jimmy can help your shoulder."

He shook his head weakly. "I don't' want to leave you." Charlene gave him half a smile. "It's okay- you don't have a choice. I'm going to provide covering fire and I want you to sprint your ass outta here- don't waste my sacrifice Jack." He gave her a nod laced with pain. Before she could jump back up, Jack gripped her face with his good arm and pressed his lips to hers.

Charlene inhaled the scent of smoke and guns and rested her forehead against his. When she opened her eyes, he had a soft smile over his war-worn features. The woman returned the smile and shoved him gently towards the door, "Get the fuck outta here, Jack."

Before he could say anything she leapt to her feet and began firing in return. She rolled her lips between her teeth as the enemy men began ducking and diving out of the way. She watched two bodies fall before she heard the clap of the door closing behind her.

Charlene dropped to her ass wearily and pressed her back against the table. She dropped the empty clip and sheathed another one inside. She swallowed heavily and peeked a glance at the men trying to gain ground on her. She let out an eased breath knowing she had done all she could for her friends.

Charlene knew she had didn't have enough ammo to take all the men out, even with single-shot kills. She sighed and dropped her head forward and listened to the reverberating silence of her fate.


Charlene rested against the far wall of the container. She felt a chill run up her body from the cold of the night. Blood and gore dripped off her body steadily as she stared at the pile of walkers in front of the doorway. Her eyes were listless and exhausted while she counted them- doing everything she could to stay awake.

After vomiting for the past hour- Charlene knew for a fact she had a concussion. If she fell asleep, there was a possibility she'd never wake again. The thought terrified her to no end. She wouldn't allow herself to die in her sleep after having survived the horrifying ordeal of close combat with over fifteen walkers.

When that walker attacked her from inside, Charlene had made the decision to tackle it to the floor and kill it and allow the zombies to spill inside the tight locker. There wasn't enough room for all of them to approach her and with each dead monster- it provided a barricade to the others.

Her struggle against the dead lasted for what seemed like forever. In the end she collapsed against the wall amongst the rot and stink. Charlene remembered Glenn talking about how he and Rick covered themselves in gore to keep the walkers from smelling them.

Charlene was dripping with their black goo and shredded skin. With the bodies piled in the entrance she had hoped it would conceal her scent well enough that she could stay there safely until sunlight. The only problem was she was completely and utterly exhausted.

Her arms felt completely dead and her legs were absolutely numb to her body. Her throat throbbed dryly with thirst and her tongue sat swollen and uncomfortable in the cottony feel of her mouth. She had a pounding, roaring headache and every part of her just begged for sleep.

The drowsiness of her self was so terrible to fight against it made her want to cry tears of frustration. Charlene just wanted to lie her head down and wake up back in the old world where there wasn't death at every turn and survival wasn't a daily necessary practice.

She pressed the palms of her hands against her eyes aggressively and tried desperately to blink away the fuzzy blackness that encroached on her vision. She snarled angrily to herself and stood on two shaky legs. She braced herself against the wall as the world spun dangerously before her.

The other's wouldn't have left without Glenn, and there wasn't anyway they had been able to get him back in the short hours that been left of daylight. Whether it was dark or not, Charlene knew for a fact she needed to get back to the van. She could sleep in the back and when the returned everyone could be happy and merry they were all back together and skip off back to the shithole.

Charlene's lips twitched into a slight smile as she stepped over the many bodies littering the entrance. The moon cast a glow across the streets and surprisingly, it was relatively empty. The weakened and weary woman took off slowly for the van. She knew good and well it would take the better part of the day for her to reach it- there were far too many geeks in the city to just make a straight shot.

She jerked her hatchet from its sheath at her hip. Charlene sighed to herself as she trudged on- her eye sight flickered dangerously as before as she swept the streets for any beasties and steered clear of the cars for any ankle-biters. She was exhausted and scared and pissed beyond all belief. If she ever saw that jackass that hit her with that car ever again- she would gut him slowly and tie his entrails to a post and leave him for the walkers. Fucker.


Glenn balked suddenly. "You haven't found Char yet?" Rick dropped his head and shook it slowly. "No, we really can't just go wandering the city to try and find her. She could be anywhere."

The Asian man shook his head angrily, "We can't just leave her!" Daryl snapped at him. "We ain't leavin' her. Let's get back to the van and then we can go find her stupid ass."

Glenn appeared to be slightly pacified as he nodded his head slowly. T-dog agreed, "You got a map? I bet ya' she's in a building down that street she took off. She wouldn't have gone far with that split head o' hers."

Rick placed his hands on hips and pursed his lips tightly. He finally gave a nod. "That sounds like a plan."

Daryl stared at T-dog while he spoke to Rick. "Well, let's get to it then."

The four of them headed away from the rest home. Rick led the group with his hand ever present on the butt of his gun. Glenn had returned to his high spirits and joked cheerfully. "Admit it, you only came back to Atlanta for the hat." A small grin crossed the worried lines on Rick's face.

He turned his gaze to the young Asian man and nodded his head, "Don't tell anybody." Glenn and T-dog chuckled in response to the sheriff's deadpanned answer.

Daryl grumbled behind the trio. His eyes scanned the area surrounding them as they moved quickly to the edge of the city. "You've given away half our guns and ammo." He hadn't agreed with the transaction- it had been pointless. Those people weren't going to last anyway.

Rick shook his head. His lips pressed into a thin line. "Not nearly half." Daryl was coming to realize the man was short spoken and to the point- and that was something he could respect. However, his decisions were another thing. He was a do-gooder, and even if it took from their camp, he would help others and that irked Daryl. He didn't understand the point to it.

"For what? Bunch of old farts who are gonna die off momentarily anyhow? Seriously, how long you think they got?"

Rick turned and faced him; a small smile seemed to have crept onto his lips. "How long do any of us?" Daryl narrowed his eyes at the man. His mind whirled as he thought and before he could reply, Glenn suddenly spoke in dismay.

"Oh my God."

They all turned to see the empty space where the van had been sitting. Rage raised its ugly head in Daryl's body as he snarled. "Where the hell's our van?" He and Glenn moved to where it had been sitting. The young Asian man pressed his hands onto the top of his head as he looked around wildly. "We left it right here. Who-"

Daryl turned around and followed where the group was staring after Glenn became suddenly quiet. A body leaned against the fence limply. Glenn murmured in a tone of quiet fright- as if she'd suddenly wake up and not be who he thought she was. "Is that Char?"

T-dog shook his head and backed away. "She's looks like a-" His words cut off as he bumped into Rick who stared with a hard-set gaze. His teeth grinded powerfully against each other, he moved to go forward when Daryl shoved past them.

They followed behind him slowly. Daryl's heart pounded in his throat as his eyes took in her frail form. She was covered from head to toe in gore. He could see the black oozing blood and chunks of flesh from walkers and the blood that had dried from the wound on her skull. His heart lurched at the sight of her hatchet grasped limply in her hand.

As they got closer, Daryl slowed cautiously and raised his bow to her head and tapped her foot with his before jumping back. The frail body lurched and her eyes opened wide before a long and guttering moan left her mouth. The hatchet fell to the ground as she stumbled forward on her knees.

Glenn cried out, "No! Char!"

Daryl's brow was furrowed. She wasn't a geek, but she looked delirious and confused. Her gaze lifted to him and suddenly her eyes narrowed menacingly, "Didn't I tell ya' to not fuckin' point that thing at me unless you were gonna kill me?"

Daryl could literally feel the tension fall from the group, and he couldn't resist the relieved smirk that twisted his dried lips. Rick knelt beside the battered and wearied woman. She shoved his hand away, "Get off me. I don't need help."

Her fingers clutched the fence and drug herself to her feet. "Bout fuckin' time y'all got here. What the hell was the hold up?" The group shook their heads in disbelief as she stumbled forward. Daryl placed a hand on her upper arm to steady her. "Do you know who took the van?" Rick suddenly asked. Charlene tore her cerulean eyes away from Daryl's glare.

She gave a harsh laugh and shook her head. "Yeah, I know who." Anger was etched and laced with the pain in the woman's face. T-dog stepped forward and stared at her incredulously, "You were here when it happened?"

Daryl dug through Glenn's backpack and handed Charlene a water bottle at the sight of her chapped, dehydrated lips. The relief that flooded her face was incredibly obvious as she took a few desperate sips from the bottle.

Charlene fought to control her body and not chug it even though she so badly wanted to. Glenn cut in as he stared at all the blood and gore covering her tiny frame. "What happened to you?"

Rick held up a hand. "One thing at time. First: Are you bit or scratched?" Charlene's face turned into an annoyed scowl, "Ya think I would have come back here bit or scratched and endanger y'all?" Her old friend held up his hands to calm her. "I just had to ask. Did Merle take the truck?"

Charlene shook her head weakly as she lowered herself back down to the concrete. Her legs throbbed painfully and the light from the sun was doing nothing for the nausea upsetting her body. "No, he didn't. Jack Cooper took the goddamn truck."

Rick frowned in confusion, while the other three stared at her as if she had lost her mind. Glenn started slowly as he approached her. "Your old SEAL lieutenant took the truck, the one you got separated from in Texas?" Charlene glared at him and nodded her head slowly. Daryl pressed his hand against her forehead and drew back as if he had been scalded. "She's got a fever."

She snarled angrily. "I'm not bit or scratched! I've been running for the past day and a half and I got trapped in a goddamn meat locker with fifteen of those biting bastards trying to get a gnaw on me. I'm dehydrated and sleep deprived and exhausted- that's where the fever came from."

Daryl's eyes were narrowed at her. She stood angrily and fell to her knees promptly from the quick whiplash of a motion. Charlene moaned in pain and managed to grit out, "You wanna strip me down? I'm not bit." She pushed T-dog away from her as she moved back into a sitting position.

Her breaths were labored and exhausted. "I wouldn't be here if I had been bit or scratched, I wouldn't do that to y'all." She said quietly. Her head rested against the chain-link fence. Rick nodded his head, "I'm sorry. But you have to tell us what happened to the van."

She smiled cruelly. "The only reason I'm alive is because it was Jack Cooper taking that van. I tried to stop him and he begged me to come with him, he had somewhere to go quickly- he was talking about an injured man and taking him to some settlement- I don't know. I told him he couldn't. That was our van and he fired his gun into that building window right there and pushed me to the ground."

She gestured towards the building- the men all turned and saw the broken window and several rotting corpses surrounding the area. Daryl scowled angrily. "Some friend ya' got there."

"I think he has Merle." She said quietly. The men all turned to face her quickly. Rick frowned, "What makes you think that?" Charlene laughed and waved her hand in the air deliriously.

"Come on, he had to take an injured man somewhere. How many injured men are alive in this city to be saved? I bet Merle is taking him to the campsite. I don't like the way Cooper was acting- he's changed…he's dangerous."

Daryl nodded his head as he chewed on his thumbnail. "He's gonna be taking some vengeance back to camp." Rick stood to his feet. "We need to get back there quickly." Glenn shook his head and gestured to Charlene leaning against the fence.

"We can't just run off- she's- she's half dead!" T-dog voiced in agreement and Charlene snarled at both of them as she stumbled to her feet again. "Fuck you guys. I'm not gonna be a fuckin' burden. If Jack and Merle get back to that camp- those people are gonna need our help from them. Lets fuckin' go."

Rick let out a breathy smile of amusement and nodded his head in understanding as his eyes trailed all across her battered body. She sheathed the hatchet and nodded to them. Daryl grimaced as she swayed in place. Charlene began to follow Rick away from the city. Glenn shot him a look that they shared as she stumbled along behind.

The camp was only a few miles away from where they had been, but it felt like it had been years to Charlene. She had felt herself reawaken with the water Daryl provided her, yet as soon as she began moving again- her body screamed in protest and her head thudded so painfully, it ran chills all up and down her body.

As they neared the camp, gunfire began to echo through the trees. Charlene frowned and suddenly feared she was going bat shit insane- those fears were alleviated when Rick murmured desperately, "Oh my God." Daryl felt a cold dread of realization race through his body. He didn't want to believe his brother would open fire on innocent people, but ever since everything that had happened he found himself more and more inclined to believe it.

Daryl wrapped a hand around Charlene's arm and dragged her along. She raced behind them as quickly as she could in her condition. The men were easily outpacing her and she felt frustration and annoyance race through her throbbing body. At the touch of Daryl's hand on hers, she pushed harder to keep pace.

She hadn't known what to expect when they arrived back at camp. She certainly hadn't expected to see Walker's crawling all over the place. Fear exploded in her chest as she whipped around wildly, "DEREK!" She wrenched her hatchet from its sheath and whimpered at the ache in her arms.

Charlene chucked the hatchet as hard as she could and watched as it lodged deep into the skull of the geek approaching Morales' back. He shot her a look of appreciation as she stumbled around dumbly. Her vision was being encroached with darkness and she blinked furiously trying to keep consciousness. The world spun and all she could see was a blur of rotted and human faces.

Her teeth grinded against each other as she swung her hatchet down on the gritty, rotted freak reaching for her. The deadened woman collapsed and Charlene turned when she heard a familiar yell. She looked up to see Derek kicking desperately at a corpse that had followed him up the RV.

Rage roared in her body as she charged forward and tackled the geek to the ground. She faintly heard Derek scream over the edge of the RV, "MOM!" Charlene brought her blade into the skull of the zombie over and over. She felt the splash of guts over her bloodied and bruised body.

The creature had long since stopped grabbing at her, but she continued to hack away angrily. Charlene pushed herself off the body and turned to face the campsite. She could hear yells of anguish and agony as everyone stared at the carnage that surrounded their makeshift home.

Charlene stumbled forward weakly and looked up at Derek while leaning against the side of the large vehicle. "You okay, buddy?" The child nodded his head vigorously and held a bloody knife out to her. "I took it from Dale's kitchen." There was shame in his face and the woman frowned, "When?"

"The thing got Amy, and I was behind her, I wanted to help." Fear raced through her as she took the knife from him, and nodded her head weakly. "You get em'?"

Derek nodded his head slowly, "Then this one chased me." Charlene smiled tiredly. "You did good, Derek. Just try to stay away from the freaks next time. Stay up there until we know it's safe."

Charlene walked around the RV and ran smack into Daryl's chest. His arms grabbed her shoulders to steady her. His mouth opened to say something, but no words came out. Charlene held the bloody kitchen knife up with a lopsided, delirious smile. "Derek got his first kill tonight." Daryl took the knife from her hands when Charlene suddenly and without warning collapsed into his arms.

He held her against his body as her head lolled back. He pressed two fingers tentatively against her throat for a pulse and sighed in relief when he felt the steady beat. Shane was at his side nearly instantly. His words were pained and fearful, "Is she-"

The hunter shook his head. "Nah, she took a beating in Atlanta, has a concussion I think." Shane stared at him distrustfully. Daryl snarled, "You gonna get her off me, or what?"

The older man growled angrily and carefully cradled his sister in his arms. Daryl watched his retreating back head into the RV before turning back to the camp. The exhausted hunter trudged forward and grabbed a geek by the foot and began dragging them all into a pile. Time to clean up.


Holy crap this a long chapter, I didn't know where to cut it off and just decided to keep it as a whole. Again, if y'all are looking for concepts I have a photobucket link on my profile, and also some very nicely done banners by Lahay :)

What did y'all think of this chapter? Y'all think Charlene was just crazy in seeing her old friend from the war?

Thank you for reading and please leave your thoughts! :)