Sorry for the longer than usual wait for the update. I tried to make this chapter more dramatic than the others, but I don't know if I really managed to do that. Anyhow, thank you for the favorites and follows as always!
And after I have finished this story, I may or may not be working on another Thorki fanfiction. But who knows!
Loki slammed the door as he entered the apartment, trying not to let his face show how much he had gone through today; he had been so close to finding Thor, and he had failed. He felt miserable and the god didn't want anyone to know it.
"Lieth? Is that you?" He did nothing to answer Valerie as he walked into the lounge to see her sitting on the couch with a book. It was now that he felt that he didn't belong here, but he knew that he would do nothing to leave. After all, Thor might follow him here; if he was following Loki, and that possibility was slim.
"I did not find him," the God of Mischief answered after a long pause. He sat himself down on the couch and put his head in his hands. "I failed."
"You didn't fail," she said softly, putting an arm around his shoulders. "And it isn't your fault that you couldn't find him."
"I need to find him, Valerie." The god hated how desperate he sounded, how pathetic his words really were. "I have to."
"Maybe you'll find him tomorrow. Don't worry about it." Valerie rubbed his arm softly; he seemed so helpless in this situation that she wanted to comfort him as much as she could. "Lieth, don't beat yourself up over this."
"You are right," he said, lifting his head and surprising the woman to show that he hadn't begun crying; though the despair on his face was apparent. "Now, I have a promise that I must keep with Danny. Would you mind if I took her somewhere to fulfil this promise?"
"What is this promise?" Valerie asked suspiciously, not exactly wanting to hand her child over to a stranger, even though she knew what Lieth was like.
"I promised her that I would show her some of memories of home. Of further than that, I can tell you no more. I swear that I will not abscond with her at first opportunity." Loki locked his deep, emerald eyes onto hers, imploring her silently.
"I, I, sure, I don't mind," she stuttered, letting go of him and pulling away.
"Thank you," he grinned at her. "For trusting me. Not many trust me nowadays." Before she could ask him why this was, he had already disappeared from beside her and was making his way up the stairs, barely making a sound as his shoes hit the wooden steps.
She went back to her book, shaking her ginger-haired head. She was not going to admit that she even partially had an attraction to him.
...
"Danny?" Loki whispered as he stuck her head through the gap where her door was partially opened.
"What?" The girl sounded slightly worried as she hurried to hide whatever was on her desk. "Oh, it's just you." She sighed and uncovered her work with a smile. "I thought you were Mommy. I don't want her to see these."
"What are they?" he asked quietly as he walked in to stand beside her, looking at the desk.
"I tried to draw you," she said shyly. "Because Mommy likes you. But I'm not that good at drawing."
They weren't bad at all, especially considering that she was only seven. They were advanced for her age, and some of the drawings really did look like him.
"You are better than most people I have met." He picked up one of the pieces of paper. "This one does look like me, though you must remember that my eyes are green, not blue." She frowned at the drawing as she snatched it back off him and squinted at him.
"I thought that they were blue," she muttered, picking up an eraser and beginning to rub out her mistake.
"Do not worry about it. You remember the promise that I made to you?" Her eyes lit up considerably and she immediately dropped the eraser back onto the desk. "I have come to fulfil it."
"You mean that you'll show me your memories? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!" The little girl jumped off her chair and hugged him tightly, arms wrapped around his waist as she thanked him even more.
"I would not break a promise to you. My word is binding," he said, slightly surprised at her reaction and even more so that he was being hugged. He hadn't received a hug with so much emotion since… well, since his dream, though that seemed to be more of a reality than when he had first thought of it. "Now come, it is beginning to darken outside. What I have to show you is best shown when it is dark."
...
Thor did not know what sort of promise that he had made to the girl, but he saw that the child was beginning to become attached to Loki; this was not a good thing, as his brother could, at any time, leave and never return.
And the woman downstairs was also becoming attached to him, though in more of a romantic way. He had never felt this much jealousy before, though he suspected that this was how Loki felt about Thor and Odin's relationship, or maybe even Thor and Jane's relationship; he threw away the last thought carelessly with a shake of his head.
He quietly began to follow Loki and the child out of the room, listening only slightly to their conversation. It seemed as though his brother was going to take 'Danny' and show her something, though what it was he had no clue what it was.
...
Loki hailed down a taxi, allowing Danny to climb in first while he followed.
"Where is a place that is secretive, with no people around and a large, clear area?" he asked her, waiting as her brow furrowed and she tried to think about it.
"What about Central Park?" she offered. "It isn't secretive, but it's super big and there shouldn't be that many people there now that it's getting dark."
"Then Central Park it is." The driver nodded at them, not speaking a single word to them on the entire journey, keeping to himself.
"I can't believe that Mommy actually let you take me out here."
"I managed to persuade her," he smiled slightly, looking out the window at the dark buildings that rose around them. "What was it that you said before, about your mother liking me?"
"I don't think that she'd want you to know, but I think that she likes you. As in, like-likes you," said the girl smugly. Loki turned to her in surprise.
Valerie? In love with him? Impossible. The woman was just someone who had taken care of him when he hadn't known where he was or what he had to do. He could not think of her in any other way. Besides, there was Thor to think about.
The God of Mischief opened his mouth to tell the girl about his feelings, and then closed it. He would not discuss these things with this young child. There was no need to, and there were certain things that he must deal with himself, and not burden others with.
The god sighed and looked away from Danny. This whole situation was complicated, even though it was not supposed to be. It was supposed to be a simple punishment, ended when he had proved himself 'worthy' to Odin. That was a lie. He would never be worthy.
And for Odin to send Thor after him was just another step in the All-Father's plan; though how it was to affect him, he should not know.
...
The driver said nothing as they arrived under darkness to Central Park, though he turned expectantly to Loki to ask for payment silently. He handed the man a fold of bills from his wallet before returning it to his pocket, climbing out of the taxi and holding the door open for Danny.
The park ended up being larger than he had originally thought, as he thought that it would be much like the park that he had conveniently fallen into when he had arrived. This Midgardian city was also a confusing maze that he uncertainly tried to navigate, and one day he was sure to get lost.
"This way," said Danny, pulling him forward by the hand onto the large grey path ahead of them as the taxi pulled away from the curb. "We'll go this way." She led him off the path and into some denser forestry, though he could see clearly through the thin trees.
"This should be fine here," Loki said quietly to her after they had strayed from the well-lit path into the darker part of the part.
"I can barely see," complained the child. "How will I see what you have to show me?"
"My magic has a light of its own."
The god took a deep breath and concentrated. He put his hands out, cupped together in the shape of a ball, and let out his breath slowly. Loki hadn't done this for many years, at a time when he had been with Thor. He threw away that memory and attempted to concentrate on what he really wanted to show Danny.
He slowly pulled his hands apart, stretching them out so as to see the image that was stretched between them. Before he could fully see it, he stretched it further and set it in front of him so he no longer held it; his mind was still connected to it.
"Who is that?" the girl asked breathlessly as they looked at the image which was slowly coming into focus.
"… It is my brother."
...
"Is that-?"
"Sh!" shushed Thor to Loki beside him, with a smile twinkling in his eyes. "Be silent." The pale god reddened considerably at this, though he remained quiet as his brother inched forward towards the beast in the clearing.
It was a Scoffin, a winged serpent that had great horns protruding from its head. Its green scales glinted as the sunlight hit them, sparkling like a dragon's hoard. The creature was currently nurturing its left wing that had been hit by one of Loki's bolts of magic.
Thor nodded to him, thinking that it would convey his thoughts perfectly; however, Loki thought differently.
The blonde planned that he would leap forward and attack the Scoffin forthright, while his brother would attack its other wing to prevent it from flying and making its escape. This, of course, was not the same thing that was running through his brother's mind.
Loki abruptly leapt forward in front of the serpent, yelling to it,
"Come closer, you derelict reptile! I dare you!" He aimed his spear towards it as if to shoot a charge of lightning at it; nothing happened, and he tried once again. It didn't work for a second time. Loki looked up worriedly at it, clutching his spear to his chest tightly; he knew not how to use it against this wild beast.
The Scoffin hissed at him, flapping its uninjured wing at him and readying itself to charge. Thor suddenly jumped in front of his brother as the creature finally began running across the clearing towards the two of them.
"Thor, no!" yelled Loki as the blonde was thrown against him by the power of the Scoffin's horns.
...
"Loki, no… NO!" The God of Mischief gave a half-hearted smile as he let go of the staff, leaving behind his so-called brother and father, shocked that he made such a strong decision.
...
"You give up this poisonous plan! You come home."
"I do not have it."
...
"I never wanted the throne, I only wanted to be your equal!"
...
"Why have you done this?"
"To prove to Father that I am a worthy son! When he wakes, I will have saved his life, I will have destroyed that race of monsters, and I will be true heir to the throne!"
"You can't kill an entire race!"
"Why not? And what is this new found love for the Frost Giants? You, who could have killed them all with your bare hands!"
"I've changed."
"So have I. Now fight me!"
...
"I will not fight you, brother."
"I am not your brother. I never was!"
...
"Loki, it was not your fault."
"What, that Father decided that all judgements made against me shall be unfair? Or that I am not to be a part of hunting because of this slight mishap?"
...
"Must you always hide in the library, Loki?" The god sat in a corner of the library, partially-hidden by the piles of books around him.
He did not reply to the blonde that was watching him from a distance, and only flipped another page in his book.
"Loki?" asked Thor quietly, stumbling over a book as he ventured closer towards his brother. "What is it?"
"Leave me alone," the other muttered, not even chancing a look up at him.
"What is it?" Thor finally sat down in front of Loki, not daring to take one of his hands though he desperately wanted to. "At least look at me."
The God of Mischief looked up defiantly at him, eyes watering.
There was a faint scar on his cheek below his right eye, running down to the side of his mouth. His left eye carried a dark blue bruise, and his bottom lip was split. Blood had dried over his face, making his normal, pale skin a ghastly red-brown.
"Why must they dislike me, brother?"
...
The images flickered past quickly, until with a gasp, Loki stopped them and they passed into nothingness.
"That was you… But your name is Loki? And is Thor your brother?"
"I need to be alone," he choked, tears streaming from his eyes unwillingly.
"Are you okay?" Danny asked softly, reaching out with a small hand. The god flinched away from her and stood up.
"Let me be." He began running away from her, knowing that it would be harmful to her if the girl was left alone, but he did not care.
Damn his brother to Hel and pray that they never met again. His kindness was a comforting blanket that Loki knew that he would never deserve. He should never have experienced it in the first place.
The god screamed at the trees around him as he stopped for a moment, seeing the stars scarcely hidden above him through the tree leaves. Why could not Thor be there to share what he felt, to ease the burden off his shoulders as he always had?
Or was that just the selfishness of Loki that veiled from him that he now had to deal with his own problems? For that was what his banishment had done to him. It had made him realize that he had to take care of his own problems from now on.
The god had to let go of Thor, of this attachment that constantly plagued him. But it was so hard to let go of someone who had been there all of his life, who had taken care of him when he had needed to be looked after.
...
Thor had been leaning against a tree, but had slid to the ground as he saw Loki collapse between the trees and begin to scream. His fingers itched to reach toward him, to wrap his arms around the god and tell him everything was okay.
That was what he had done all of his life; he had tried to make his brother feel at home, even when everyone else shunned him. It hurt Thor to know that he could not comfort Loki for the first time in his life.
Bu then, hadn't there been times when the raven-haired god had been past comforting, when he had shoved him aside to take over the world?
It didn't matter to him anymore. He wanted to take Loki by the hand and lead him away from this, all of this, to drag him somewhere where he would be safe with the warrior god; maybe even for the rest of eternity.
Was this Odin's punishment for him? To prove Thor wrong in the fact that Loki could not be saved? To teach him that the All-Father was right in this matter?
"Forgive me, Loki, but you must learn that I cannot solve all of your problems."
With these words, he unhappily stood up and turned away from his brother, frowning angrily so that he did not begin to cry. All of his efforts were in vain, and he did not attempt to stay silent.
Thor began to cry.
