I'm sorry it took so long. It won't take this long again


Six

I'm tired of waking up in tears

Cause I can't put to bed these phobias and fears

I'm new to this grief, I can't explain

But I'm no stranger to, the heartache and the pain

The fire I began is burning me alive

But I know better than to leave and let it die

I'm a silhouette, asking every now and then Is it over yet?

Will I ever feel again?

I'm a silhouette, chasing rainbows on my own

But the more I try to move on, the more I feel alone

Tears

Life with Pepper isn't easy for any of us and by the third week my mother is exhausted, we all are. Still Cato and I offer to take the Spice rack hiking. We strapped the baby into a special back pack (It was made for babies you don't think I'd just shove my little sister in a back pack do you?) and led Pepper by the hand and hoped on the bus. Let's just say that Cato looked ridiculous with Chive strapped to his back.

Nutmeg leaned against the window looking annoyed, she hadn't wanted to come on this little hiking trip but we had forced her to. Hazel seemed indifferent to what was going on, she was the middle child, the one who just wanted things to work out. Paprika was bouncing up and down in her seat at six she was full of energy and ready to go, and energy I lacked.

I had been up half the night with Pepper, we had to share a bedroom and usually the only good thing about this was that he slept at night, but he had gotten into the coffee and was up most of the night. Which meant so was I.

Most of the bus ride I had spent holding on to Chive, and trying to keep Paprika in a sitting position. Cato was wrestling Pepper and everyone was staring at us. I decided it was probably Chive's fault, she had dark hair and blue eyes, which was just perfect. Pepper was a given his pills so he was behaving. When we finally got off the bus I told Nutmeg to hold Paprika's hand and Hazel to stick close to me.

"Why do we keep getting stared at?" Cato asked.

"Well my sisters are blonde haired and have hazel eyes, like me, but you've got blonde hair." I said.

"They really think that you're their mother?" HE asked.

"Maybe not for the older girls but for Chive, well she's got Blue Eyes Cato." I sighed.

"That's disgusting you are way to young." He said. He's right but even I can't deny that it happens, usually not in girls from the training center but it does happen.

That night after I'm sure Pepper is asleep I sneak over to Cato's he is laying awake on his bed looking at me as I come in. "Clove?"

"Hi Cato."I whispered as I crawled in next to him.

"Clove can I talk to you about something?" He asked, turning on his side to face me.

"What?" I asked.

"Look don't take this the wrong way but I think I'm in love with you." He whispered.

I didn't say anything for a minute. "Really?"

"Really." He whispered.

"Cato, why me? Its not that I don't love you because I really do but you could have any girl out there, why me?" I asked.

"Because I don't want any other girl I want you to love me Clove, and I need to love you." He said.

"Are you sure broken and scared is okay?"

"Broken and scared is perfect." Then he leaned in and kissed me.

I woke up with Cato's arms around me, I could hear his alarm and he groaned. "Cato." I whispered. "Get up."

"Fine." He groaned and rolled out of bed, I followed him as he truned his alarm off. "I wouldn't let my family see you like that."

He was right I shouldn't let his family see me in my under clothes. He tossed my my training clothes from one of the drawers and got dressed himself. We went down stairs together. His mother didn't even question my presence, she had gotten fairly used to my being at their house at unimaginable hours of the morning.

"Clove, honey, I gave you a house key, you don't have to use Cato's bedroom window anymore." Cato's mother said, observing the long scrape on my arm.

"I like coming in his window." I said.

"I don't want to know why." Amy said.

"I won't tell you why." I raised my eyebrows and smiled suggestively. Cato and I hadn't had sex, with our busy lives there was hardly enough time to go to the bathroom and we are monitored way to closely at training.

After breakfast Cato and I walked the mile and a half to the training center hand in hand. When I walked in I immediately knew something is wrong. Brutus was standing on the gauntlet and the classes are all crowded around him. Enobaria was nowhere in sight.

"I don't know!" He snapped. "Just go train freely, I don't care!"

The crowd dispersed and I still didn't see Enobaria anywhere. Which was weird she hardly ever missed a day of training.

"Brutus, where's Enobaria?" I asked. "We have that interview session today."

"Baria is sick. I know she never takes a sick day but she got out of bed this morning walked to steps and fell over, she's running an extremely high fever and throwing up, all around she's not a pleasant person this morning." Brutus gave us all the facts, most likely because he knows Cato and I would pester him until he did. We're charming that way "Cato you and I will work on your interview session Clove, whenever Baria gets better you can do yours." He walked off to help a seven year old throw a knife.

"Poor guy," Cato said.

"What do you mean, Enobaria's the one that's sick!" I said.

"You don't know?" Cato frowned.

"Know what?" I asked.

"They're together. They've known each other since Enobaria was eight and Brutus was ten. They're married." Cato said.

"What?!" I was shocked. "They don't act married!"

"They are though, they've been trying to have a baby for like six years." He shrugged.

"What?!" I was still shocked.

"Yeah." He nodded.

"Why didn't I know this? How do you know this?" I said.

"Well everyone knows they're married, I found out about the baby by accident." Cato shrugged and went to the sword fighting station.

When I got home Pepper was sitting on the couch waiting. He refuses to sleep without me in the room. I suppose it kind of sweet, or it would be if he was a four year old, which I suppose he kind of is. Anyway he tackle hugged me when I came through the door.

"Clovey!" He said.

"Hey Pepper, are you ready for bed?" I asked.

"Yes Clovey!" He smiled, holding my hand. I lead him upstairs and tucked him into bed.

"Good night Pepper."

"Good night Clovey!"

I woke up at midnight after a nightmare and climbed out the window, Cato's window was open and I climbed in. I crawled in to his bed and he kissed me.

"Clove." He muttered. I kissed him again with a passion I hadn't previously known for him and I instantly knew what I wanted.

"Cato?"

"Yeah?"

"Take all your clothes off. Now"


I know its short. In the next chapter "Mother" Enobaria and Clove have a little heart-to-heart