AN: Hello again, everybody. :) Here it is, chapter 5, which was originally part of chapter 4, though I decided to break it up and throw it out here on it's own. I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter (as of this writing), baneswoman, Blr, Sobia, MVresidentandreader123, Claire Collins, ZombiesloveMangoes, flora, and all guests. I'd also like to give a special thanks to Annie Bespoke and ZombiesloveMangoes! :) Now, enough of this author's ramblings...back to the story. Hope you enjoy! ^_^


Chapter 5: Good (And Bad) Neighbors


"Okay, we'll just get the biggest one we can find, aim your doo-dad at it, and 'poof', instant dinner." Shane said, pushing the shopping cart into the frozen foods section. Myrnin walked beside him, looking around the store in slight fascination. Shane didn't know how many times Myrnin had actually been to a grocery store, now that he thought about it. For all he knew, Claire did his shopping.

They made it to the freezer where all the turkeys were, and Shane was relieved to find there were a few left.

"Yes!" he whooped. "They still have some! Just pop them all in the cart, we might blow a few of them up before we get it right, anyway."

Myrnin nodded, then started grabbing turkeys. Shane looked up and noticed another freezer like the one they were standing by, and walked over to investigate.

There was one lonely, tiny little turkey the size of his two fists sitting inside. It didn't look like it could feed Claire by herself. But beggars couldn't be choosers, they could use it as a test dummy if they had to. He bent over into the freezer to retrieve it when he heard a yell.

He turned a little to see what the sound was, only to have Myrnin hurdle through the air and smack into him, knocking both men into the freezer.

"Son of a-!" yelled Shane, getting cut off by Myrnin's foot hitting him in the face as he scrambled to get out. "Dude! What the hell?!"

"Ask him!" snarled Myrnin, fangs down. He was already in a fighting position, standing in front of the freezer, facing the direction from which he had been thrown.

Pennywell was standing by their cart of turkeys, holding the biggest one by the plastic handle, looking as menacing as Myrnin. Though considerably more stupid, as he was holding a turkey for his weapon of choice.

Shane swore some more, then tried (and failed) to climb out of the freezer. Myrnin gave him a passing glance, then grabbed him by the forearm and yanked him out. Shane stumbled to a standing position, and then gave Myrnin a grudging manly nod of thanks before assuming an aggressive fighting stance himself.

"Alright, then I'll ask you. Dude, what the hell?" Shane spat out at Pennywell, who was staring at the two of them looking confused.

"Why are you working together?" he asked, sounding puzzled and (to Shane's annoyance) not the least bit threatened.

"We're on date. What's it to you?" Shane snapped. Pennywell just continued to look puzzled.

"I was under the impression you didn't care for each others company." he replied.

Shane scowled. Did everyone know they didn't get along?

Myrnin's face didn't reveal anything. "Then you've been sadly misinformed, witch hunter. The boy and I are actually quite close, why we're having dinner in just a few hours yet. And I believe we both like you considerably less." he said, flashing fang with an arrogant smirk. "Isn't that right, Shame?"

Shane decided to ignore the last part. "Yep, nothing like common enemies to bring people together. So, ass, what brings you to this neck of the woods?" he asked, trying to put on an arrogant, there's-no-way-you-can-win front like Myrnin.

Pennywell narrowed his eyes at them. "That is none of your concern."

"It is if you're going to throw guys in the freezer section." said Shane.

Pennywell turned his attention to Shane. "That, in fact, had little to do with why I am here." He jerked his chin at Myrnin. "The heretic was trying to take my chosen fowl, so I disposed of him. This has little to do with you, boy."

Shane blinked. Myrnin got thrown over a turkey? Wait, this guy was trying to steal their turkey?

"You're...trying to buy a turkey?" Shane asked. That was just wrong.

"Again, it is none of your concern!" Pennywell snarled.

Myrnin turned his head slightly to Shane, never taking his eyes off Pennywell. "He took the biggest one." he told him. He turned his attention back to Pennywell. "That was not your chosen fowl, I saw it first! It was in my hands!"

This, Shane thought, Is a fight. In the frozen foods section. I'm starting fights with vampires in the frozen foods section of the store.

My Dad would be so proud.

"You have many others! I want this one, witch!" Pennywell snarled back.

Shane leaned back against the freezer. He didn't even have any weapons on him. Pennywell was still waving the turkey around. He could probably brain Shane with it. Which gave him an idea.

"Count of three," Shane muttered, reaching back into the freezer. Myrnin nodded a fraction of an inch. "One..."

One of the store clerks ran around the corner, eyes wide. "You guys can't be starting anything in here, it's neutral ground!" he yelled.

"Two..."

"Silence, fool! This doesn't concern you!" Pennywell snapped at the frightened clerk.

"Three!" Shane yelled, and threw the little turkey he'd been trying to get earlier at Pennywell. His head had been turned when he had snapped at the clerk, so he didn't see it coming. It connected right in the face and, coupled with Myrnin's flying tackle, knocked him into the aisle behind him.

Both vamps started snarling and rolling, throwing punches and kicks. The turkey flew through the air and smashed into one of the glass freezer doors a little ways up. Shane jumped out of the way as the vampires slammed into another shelf, knocking glass jars of jelly and peanut butter everywhere.

He reached behind him into another freezer, grabbing something that felt weapon-like, and pulled it forward. Some kind of frozen sausage roll. Beggars couldn't be choosers.

He rushed forward and slugged what he hoped was Pennywell over the head with it.

Well, he got him on the second swing, at least.

Pennywell snarled again and threw a disoriented Myrnin (they were moving too fast for Shane to tell exactly who he'd been hitting) off of him, then lunged for Shane.

Shane managed to move so he just brushed by him, but stepped on a jar of peanut butter and fell backwards. The next thing he knew, Pennywell was holding him up by his throat, fangs out.

Of all the ways I could have died in battle, Shane thought dully, Why the hell did it have to be over a turkey?

"You, boy, will have crossed me for the last time." Pennywell growled.

Shane saw Myrnin sit up from where he had been thrown, near the cartful of turkeys. He looked up at him, then kicked the cart, hard.

It rolled down the aisle faster than should have been possible and slammed into Pennywell, knocking him into a wooden country ham display.

Shane gasped and choked for a minute, and when he had stopped coughing he saw Pennywell and Myrnin in a deadlock on the floor again, claws at each others throats. Shane looked beside him, and saw the splintered remains of the wooden display.

"Myrnin!" he yelled, and tossed him a piece. Myrnin bounced back from Pennywell to catch it, only to be thrown, again, this time at the bread aisle.

Which gave Michael the perfect opportunity to stake Pennywell.

Pennywell blinked, looked down at the stake in his chest, then up at Michael in surprise. "I just wanted dinner." he muttered, before succumbing to the wood and hitting the ground.

Shane stared at Michael. Then at Pennywell. Then the destruction of the store around him, before letting his eyes fall on Myrnin, who was stirring amidst a pile of squished bread.

He turned back to Michael. "Uh, thanks, bro. What are you doing here?"

"Looking for dinner rolls and a can of cranberry sauce." Michael said warily. "Just what are you doing here, exactly?"

Shane looked around, and then picked up the little turkey beside him, the one he had thrown at Pennywell. "Getting a turkey, see?"

Myrnin held up a squashed package, still lying down. "I found your dinner rolls." he said helpfully.

Shane turned to Michael, thumbs up. "See? And you didn't even have to fight any old ladies for it."

Michael just shook his head. "Only you," he said, still shaking his head. "Could start a fight with a vampire in the freaking frozen foods section."

Neither Myrnin nor Shane had anything to say to that.


AN: Aaaand there you go! End of chapter. I'd like to make a special point here on Pennywell's name...I'm aware that in later books he's called Pennyfeather. However, when he was first introduced, his name was Pennywell. So when talking about him, I tend to call him Pennywell...and that's what came out when I typed his name. So anyone that prefers to call him Pennyfeather can just pretend that's what it says when you read his name. I'd also like to apologize for any mistakes (spelling, grammar, or otherwise), they are all my own. Now PLEASE review, I know I'm repeating myself, but it's how I know how well I'm doing! So, once again...if you enjoyed it, review review review! Thank you! ^_^

Edit (November 2014): Some punctuation and general sentence structure edits. Hats off to Annie Bespoke and ZombiesloveMangoes for beta'ing this for me originally!