Annie hummed quietly to herself as she entered the library Monday morning. She wasn't sure what it was, but today? It was going to be her day! She just felt it in the wind! Or tasted it in the water! Or… or she didn't know, she just knew that things would be looking up today! She even marked it as "Annie's Day" in her day planner that Jeff had so horribly mocked yesterday.
But that didn't matter. She had her day planner in her hands and a backpack full of calendars. One of which she'd marked up perfectly.
Just what the Doctor ordered!
She smiled to herself and even considered using that line when she revealed to the Doctor in class that she had done exactly as he had asked, and not only studied up on calendars, but also acquired photocopies of rare calendars from across the world. She had to go to those lengths, considering the fact that Troy and Abed were actually cobbling together some big calendar themed… project in order to impress the Doctor.
But it wouldn't matter how impressively goofy they were, nothing would compete with the hours of study that she put into their homework assignment. If the Doctor would be impressed with anyone, it would be her!
A moment after that thought crossed her mind, she shook her head. She really couldn't place why exactly she wanted to impress the Doctor so much. It certainly wasn't just because he was tall, skinny, and handsome. No, there had to be other reasons beyond that!
When she was honest with herself, Annie had to admit that she'd always been something of a teacher's pet. That was what was probably at play here. Yeah, just like when she was trying to impress her sixth grade English teacher Mr. Hudson. He just so happened to be tall, skinny, and handsome like the Doctor. But on the other hand, he didn't have those blue, timeless, eyes that seemed to suck her right in; and she just wanted to see them sparkle when he told her that she marked calendars better than any girl in the world.
Annie stopped in place and shook her head. Was she really going to do this? Crush all over a teacher? Things didn't end well with her sixth grade English teacher either. That's how she learned that someone could indeed file a restraining order against an eleven year old! She needed to calm down and just play it cool. Loosey-goosey. She wouldn't try to impress the Doctor, she would just let her results speak for themselves.
So intent was she on not embarrassing herself around the Doctor, that Annie didn't even notice him until she walked right past him.
"Morning Annie," he said as she went by. "Playing it cool are we?"
"Sure am Doctor!" she responded before her brain decided to keep pace with her mouth. Once it did, she froze and looked over her shoulder, confirming who had just greeted her. "Doctor?"
The Doctor straightened his bow tie as stood there, leaning against the wall with one leg crossed over the other and his hair swept over the one side of his head. Annie felt her cheeks flush and she forced herself to take a deep breath and hopefully hide her embarrassment. In a desperate attempt to find something to talk about, Annie glanced at her watch.
"Doctor, it's 9:37, don't you have a class you're supposed to be teaching right now? Not that I looked at your easily accessible online schedule or anything."
"History of Archeology?" The Doctor pushed off from the wall and began walking alongside her. "Bah! I gave up on those dullards days ago! No sense of humility! No willingness to accept that eventually everyone will find their profession as laughable and obsolete as I do."
"So you just decided to abandon the class?" Annie raised her brow.
"Oh of course not Annie," The Doctor waved her off. "I'd never abandon anyone, I got them a substitute."
"But you're a substitute," Annie said. "You got a substitute for a substitute?"
"Yes, and it's working out beautifully," the Doctor said. "Found a man that had previous work experience here at Greendale. Chang I think his name was!"
"Chang?" Annie almost gasped. "But… but he doesn't know the first thing about Archeology."
"And archeologists don't know the first thing about history," the Doctor shrugged. "But enough about that, let's talk about you, shall we Miss Edison?"
"Um… me?"
"Well, you in the sense that we're actually not talking about you so much as we're talking about your homework," the Doctor said.
"…oh…"
"So come one let's see it!" The Doctor said with the inflection of a kid waiting for his Christmas present.
"You sure you don't want to wait until class?" Annie said trying to not feel self conscious as she noticed that they were passing Shirley and Britta, both actively engaged in some sort of argument the merits of a Julian calendar vs. the traditional Gregorian calendar.
"What? Class? Oh… yes… I suppose that would be alright…no… I can't wait! Come on Edison! Just give me a quick peek, something to tide me over until later!"
"But… I don't understand? Why do you want to see mine so badly?"
"Well…" the Doctor looked around. "I don't much like playing favorites but between you and me, you're my star pupil. If any of you is going to… er… pass it's going to be you."
In spite of herself Annie smiled a bit and then started fishing out her calendar from her backpack. The Doctor rubbed his hands enthusiastically as if she was handing him a dirty magazine or a stolen pie. The moment it left her bag he snatched it from her fingers and flipped through the pages.
Annie could only just stand there and feel her heart skip every other beat while she waited for his judgment. For the first couple of seconds she smiled, hopeful that he would be impressed, but the longer he stared at it, the more and more she felt her stomach sink and her smile fade. Finally the Doctor sighed and handed her the calendar without even looking at her.
"It's… it's not good?" She ventured.
The Doctor shook his head, and glanced down at her. "It's my fault really, I should have given you better instructions. I had such high hopes for you Annie but I'm afraid you just didn't look hard enough."
Annie heard herself gasp as she looked down at her calendar, trying to figure what on earth she did wrong. Was it because she marked the important dates in purple? Did he want it in standard black or blue, or even red? She spent all night researching obscure holidays and marking them! What the hell did it mean that she didn't look hard enough?
She looked up and the Doctor was already walking away. Annie bit her lip for a second before calling out. "At least let me know what kind of grade I can expect? A 'b'? A 'b-' it's not that bad is it?"
"Lower third class," The Doctor said over his shoulder. "I'm sorry Annie, but this is far more serious than a letter grade."
For half a second, Annie felt her legs give out underneath her. She sucked in a deep breath and managed to stay on her feet. She wasn't going to faint. But if she understood the UK grading system well enough, the Doctor had told her that she had essentially gotten a 'd'.
The Doctor made it a few steps away. Annie nodded and did her best to not scream… which involved holding her breath; and before she knew it, she didn't feel like screaming anymore. However her head felt quite dizzy and her vision was incredibly spotty and the floor rushed at her very quickly.
…..
Jeff hunched over the table and glared at the laptop screen, an idea struck and he quickly fumbled through his stack of papers on the right. The 'historical' papers the ones he'd printed out at 2 A.M. after his fifth red bull. He knew what the others would think, so he had to have proof! He had to be like Annie and have a solid, presentable case to show the others that he wasn't crazy.
The computer beeped, alerting him that the download was complete and Jeff cheered before hitting the 'print' button. He wiped his hands through his hair and leaned back in his chair a bit. Done. He could prove it now. He would go and show the Dean first. Maybe he could just fire the Doctor but he probably needed to call the police. Either way he wouldn't be at Greendale anymore.
So intently did Jeff stare at the screen that he didn't even notice Pierce walk into the room and sit down at his seat. Nor did he notice Troy and Abed come in either. He only looked up from his research when he heard Britta and Shirley's girlish giggles appear and then suddenly cease. Then he looked up and saw the others staring at him.
"Jeff…" Abed said. "You're doing it again."
Jeff ticked his head to the side and raised a brow. "Do… doing what again Abed?"
Abed just rolled his eyes. "I'm not even going to say it, everybody already knows."
"This isn't like Rich guys!" Jeff sat up straight. "Something is seriously wrong with this Doctor guy and… and… Troy, Abed… why the hell do you have numbers stuck all over your body?'
"We're living calendars!" Troy said. "The Doctor said that we needed to really bone up on calendars so we're actually wearing them! We took a calendar-"
"Then cut it up-" Abed said.
"And glued each date to ourselves-"
"Together we make all of 2013 and a little bit of 2014!"
Both grinned widely then did their handshake.
"I can't believe that Jeff is sitting there looking like the Brundlefly and he's still only the second craziest thing in this room!" Shirley said.
"Right?" Pierce said. "My old man did some crazy things, invest money in Japanese robots that punched people, elephant guns that could brand the Hawthorne logo onto a kill as the bullet went in, but he never did anything like this!"
"Funny you should mention it," Troy said and held up his elbow. "Because the anniversary of his death is right here!"
"Really?" Pierce adjusted his glasses and leaned forward just a bit. "Aw… you're throwing a party for me?"
Troy and Abed nodded but it was all Jeff could take.
"I'm not kidding guys! We have to do something about the Doctor! Where's Annie!?"
"Oh this is gonna be good," Britta said and smiled at Shirley. "You wanna tell him or should I?"
"Go ahead," Shirley said but she had the handles of her massive bag coiled tightly in her fingers and she her entire body bunched up like it might explode. Britta opened up her mouth but Shirley finally burst. "Annie is dating the Doctor! They're going out together and may have already gotten to hanky panky!"
"I walked right into that one," Britta sighed.
Jeff didn't respond right away. He just stared at Shirley, whose big beaming grin gradually faded under his wilting glare. The air in the room suddenly felt heavier and harder to pull into their lungs. No one said anything until Pierce took out a sharpie and marked a date on Troy's shoulder.
"I marked today as the day Annie got some British in her," He said.
"Dammit!" Jeff slammed his fist on the table. "You guys this is horrible!"
"Oh come on Jeff," Britta said. "Annie's not a little girl anymore, it's past time she gets out and has some flings."
"How do you know?" Jeff turned on her. "How do you know she's fooling around with that Doctor?"
"They were walking together in the hall," Shirley said. "And talking suggestively."
"Suggestively? How? Or did she just Annie it?"
"I don't think that's any of your business," Britta folded her arms. "A sister never tells on another sister."
"Well you better tell me sister!" Jeff said. "Because we need to find them before the Doctor hacks her up into little bits!"
Jeff actually sat back when everyone in the room released a collective 'whoa' and began berating him for besmirching the Doctor's reputation. Jeff knew he probably should have expected it but he was still taken aback by Shirley flipping him off. After a few moments of enduring hate speech that would make Hitler blanch, Jeff closed his hand together and they shut up. He still had it.
"I'm not kidding," he said. "This Doctor is bad news. I was up all night looking into him. This is some weird stuff even for Greendale. I'm talking X-files or Twilight Zone level crack."
"What do you mean?" Abed said.
"This Doctor?" Jeff said. "He's all over the internet. Look at this!"
Jeff flipped his laptop around so they could all see. He waited as they all gathered around, leaning over the table to get a better look. He only had to wait for them to really soak it all in before he went on.
"He's wearing a fez," Abed said.
"Fezzes are cool…" Troy said.
"I don't get it," Britta shrugged. "So it's a black and white picture of the Doctor wearing a fez standing next to a camel."
"Wait…" Pierce said. "I know that camel! It makes out with Hope and Crosby in Road to Morocco!"
Abed leaned forward and then shook his head. "How did I not see that? He's right!"
"But isn't that movie like a billion years old?" Troy said.
"71 years," Abed said.
"It was my Mom's favorite movie," Pierce said.
"This is a production photo," Jeff said. "Taken on set by Bing Crosby himself! This man showed up, spoke to the camel just as it was about to trample Bob Hope and then hung around while they sang the title song."
Britta pulled her fake glasses off and squinted at the picture. "Well that just has to be a coincidence. Some guy that looks like the Doctor that was on the set for a movie several decades ago. Maybe he's an grandfather or something."
"Yeah?" Jeff looked over the screen and brought up another photo. This one had the Doctor standing next to a man in the New York Stock Exchange, the man gripped him tightly while others behind them, in the background shook their fists at the illuminated stocks. "October 19th 1987, Black Monday, the Dow fell 508 points. Look who was there."
"That was 26 years ago," Abed said. "He hasn't aged a day."
"Another coincidence," Britta said.
"Jeff this is really getting creepy," Shirley said.
"You haven't seen the half of it!" Jeff said. "This guy keep showing up decades apart, always looking the same, always right when some thing big happens."
"But it can't be the same guy," Troy said.
"It is!" Jeff riffled through some papers. "There's even an account of him presenting George Washington the sword of General Cornwallis, ending the Revolutionary War!"
"Oh come on Jeff, what are you saying?" Britta crossed her arms. "That the Doctor, who is a substitute in our history class is some sort of… immortal being?"
"Like the Highlander?" Abed said.
"This is insane!" Britta said. "You know this can't be real!"
"It is Britta!" Jeff said. "And now that man is off with Annie somewhere doing God knows what! I have pages and pages of this stuff!"
"Like I said," Shirley spoke up again. "This is really creepy."
"At least someone agrees with m-"
"Creepy because you're so jealous of the Doctor that you went and photoshopped all of these pictures of the Doctor and invented this cockamamie story about him." Shirley glared. "Can't you ever be happy that Annie finds a cute guy, I mean damn, you have some serious issues!"
"Oh come on!" Jeff said. "I'm not jealous! And I didn't fake all these pictures! Check out the websites yourself!"
"I am," Abed said, clicking on the various links Jeff had bookmarked. "Jeff, I'm fairly open-minded but these are all conspiracy theory websites that make the X-files seem plausible."
"I swear I'm not making any of this up!" Jeff said. "The Doctor is no good! The Doctor is dangerous! The Doctor is-"
"Coming through!" the Doctor charged into the room carrying Annie in his arms. Jeff bolted out of his chair, knocking it down. The others in the room similarly stumbled back. Maybe they thought Jeff was crazy, but the Doctor charging into the room holding an unconscious Annie certainly played into that craziness.
"What the hell happened?" Jeff said as the Doctor laid Annie out on the table. "What did you do to her?"
"Me? Nothing," The Doctor said then looked to Troy. "Go get some water!"
Troy practically tripped over himself, running out the room, leaving a trail of calendar dates behind. Not that anyone noticed. Shirley and Britta hovered over Annie until the Doctor shooed them away, Abed was holding Pierce back from running around screaming in panic, and Jeff had to grip the edges of the table to stop himself from tearing into the Doctor.
"Alright," the Doctor said, fishing in his coat pocket until he retrieved a slender metallic object that glowed green at the tip. He ran it up and down Annie's body then snapped it up in front of him and the device popped open. "Chronitonic energy normal… not fading out of sink… I would say… good news everyone, she just passed out!"
"How is that good news?" Jeff said. "What did you do to make her faint?"
"I told you Jeffery, nothing," the Doctor said as Troy appeared with a bottle of water. Upon seeing him, the Doctor whipped a handkerchief from his pocket and held it out in front of Troy.
"Sorry it took so long, they don't sell any water in the vending machines anymore," Troy panted as he dumped water on the handkerchief. "It's all be replaced by Tatorade."
"Ooh!" The Doctor's face lit up. "Is that the potato based Gatorade knock off? How is it?"
"Not as bad as you'd th-"
"Oh my god!" Jeff interrupted Troy and the Doctor, swiping the wet hanky from his hands. "Can you guys focus for one damn minute! Annie's unconscious and you're talking about a drink product that doesn't have any right to exist!"
"Sorry, I just sometimes get distracted by… " the Doctor rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, taking a step back as Jeff laid the hanky over Annie's forehead, brushing the back of his hand against her cheek.
"It will be alright, Jeff," the Doctor said. "She just fainted."
"Shut up," Jeff said, now squeezing Annie's hand and not looking at the other man.
"No, it really will be alright," the Doctor said. "In a few minutes she'll wake up and be right as-"
"I said shut up!" Jeff released Annie's hand and wheeled around on him. The Doctor backed up, pointing his finger as if to speak but Jeff didn't give him the chance. "I know this is all your fault Doctor!"
"Yes, but you see Jeff, Annie is…"
"Annie was fine until you came along! We all were and now look what you did!"
"Precisely what I'm saying… if you'd just look, Annie…"
"I know all about you! Who you are, what you are! I know you did this to her, but after they lock you up, your trial will take a few months to get to court and I swear I'll be a lawyer again and I'll work with the prosecution to put you away for life!"
What Jeff couldn't notice, was that as soon as his back turned, Annie popped one eye open. It darted his direction and she sighed before opening her other eye and sitting up. The other's gasped but Jeff was too busy threatening the Doctor to hear. Annie gave a little cough, but he didn't notice. She coughed a little louder, and Jeff still glowered at the Doctor. Finally she gave a cough that was an all out 'harrumph'.
"Not now Annie," Jeff said over his shoulder. "I'm giving the Doctor a piece of… Annie?"
Jeff spun around to see Annie sitting up on the table, arms crossed, glaring daggers at him. Jeff glanced around at the others, whose expressions either mirrored Annie's or else looked as puzzled as he was.
"You're awake!" he said.
"Of course I'm awake!" Annie rolled her eyes and slung her feet over the edge of the table. "But even if I wasn't that doesn't give you the right to harass the Doctor, a teacher, just because you're jealous!"
"I'm not jealous Annie," Jeff said, this time it was more than jus Annie's eyes that rolled. "I was up all night looking into this guy and found some really scary stuff. I had every reason to believe that when he brought you in here unconscious that he'd done something to you."
"And if Rich had done the same thing? This is so classic you!" Annie said. "And besides, I wasn't even unconscious when he brought me in I…"
Annie trailed off as soon as the words left her mouth. Jeff cocked a brow up, then slid his eyes to the Doctor, who's hair, a little shaggier than usual from scratching his head, and eyes attested that he was just as new to this information as everyone else.
"But you passed out in the hallway," the Doctor said. "After I told you your homework wouldn't get you a passing grade. You're saying that you were conscious the entire time?"
"Oh Lord," Shirley threw her hands up. "Is that all this was about?"
"No!" Annie said. "I really did pass out! Just… just not for very long."
"I thought you weren't breathing!" the Doctor said. " Before I brought you here I administered CPR!"
"Actually, you didn't quite get it right; your hands were just a little bit too far…" Annie caught herself and her cheeks flushed crimson.
Deep down, Jeff knew his reaction should have been different. After all, it was clear the Doctor was as much a victim in all of this as anyone. Maybe it was the fact that he'd had less than an hour of sleep in the last 24 hours, maybe that that was partially due to the eleven red bulls he drank and the entire thing impaired his judgment. But all of that, combined with imagining the Doctor with his lips all over Annie's and his hands on her chest… the next thing he knew he was rushing at the Doctor with fists bared.
