A/N: Ok guys I am updating super fast so be happy and please review! SPECIAL THANKS TO IwillAKyou because you review consistently and I appreciate the feedback so much! Oh and thanks to all my strange friends who review. You make me laugh
Ted's POV
The next morning I sat at the Gryffindor table, completely engrossed in eating my breakfast. Classes didn't start for another week, so there were only a handful of students in the great hall. Shrouttus sat with his friends at the end of the Hufflepuff table, occasionally turning to glance at me with a slightly anxious look on his face.
After the fifth time, I waiting until he turned to glance at me again before making a big show of taking my wand out of my pocket and pointing it in his direction. Landon let out a small shriek and jerked backwards, falling off of his seat in the process.
His friends started laughing at him, not even bothering to pick him up off the ground. He got up and sat back down, glaring at me. I gave him a small wave and a smug smile.
Just then, Victoire walked over and sat down next to me. She put her arms on the table and rested her head on them sleepily.
"Morning," she mumbled.
"Tired?" I inquired.
"Yeah. Aren't you? We were up pretty late last night."
I felt my face heat up, remembering what had kept us up so late. Victoire suddenly straightened up, her freckled cheeks slightly pink. Is she embarrassed?
"I mean, with Landon and everything," She said quickly.
"Right," I assured her. We both turned back to our food awkwardly. I pushed my eggs around my plate, glancing at Vic every couple minutes. She looked perfectly content with just eating her breakfast in peace like usual. Her face held no signs that last night was anything special. That's because to her, last night WASN'T anything special.
"So, what do you want to do today?" I asked her, breaking the awkward silence.
She shrugged, "I know we should probably be studying for our OWLs and NEWTs, but honestly I don't think I could open a book, I'm so tired."
"I couldn't agree more. You want to head down to the lake after this?" I asked, "It's nice and sunny today."
Her eyes lit up at the prospect of lying out in the sun, and she smiled, nodding her head in agreement. I couldn't help but notice that her smile didn't quite reach her eyes.
She hadn't had any more dreams since Snape gave her the potion, but I knew it was only a matter of time before the antidote wore off and her sleeping mind would be corroded again. Vic never said anything, of course, but I suspected the past few days had been worse than the days her curse was active. Surely the anticipation of not knowing when they would start again was haunting her.
For once in my life, I wasn't sure how to comfort her. Usually I just did whatever felt right, but this situation was too complicated to rely on instinct. I had to be there for her, but not over bearing like her family. All I could think of was to distract her from her own thoughts; I had to keep her busy. That shouldn't be too hard, seeing as they had four more days until school started and my mind was already conjuring pranks to play and ways to be sure Victoire never had a moment of peace.
I smiled to myself. Maybe helping her wouldn't be so hard. I'll let her have today to do what she wants, but tomorrow the antics begin.
XxXxX
Victoire's POV
We walked to the Great Lake once we finished our breakfast in peaceful silence, taking in the cool breeze and warm sunshine. We approached one of the big trees surrounding the water and sat down in the lush grass. Ted stretched out on his back and put his hands behind his head, closing his eyes.
I sat down next to him, about to lay down diagonal to him, when I stopped myself. Every time Ted and I came out there, he would let me rest my head on his stomach, so that I didn't get grass in my hair. It had started last year when Ted had to pick dozens of leaves and grass out of my hair after I fell asleep on the messy ground. Since then I hadn't thought twice about using him as a pillow, figuring it was more comfortable than the dirt anyways.
Why are you even hesitating? I asked myself. Ted doesn't care; if he did he would have told you by now.
I frowned, hating how awkward I suddenly felt. Forcing myself to act normal, I laid back and set my head on Ted's firm stomach. That wasn't so bad. Nope, not awkward at all, I assured myself. His steady breathing made my head rise and fall in rhythm.
I felt safe, peaceful. I had come to appreciate that feeling more than usual over the past few weeks. It was hard for me to find any moments of peace that weren't penetrated by haunting dreams, or haunting memories of those dreams.
Thinking back, I am not sure how a managed even a few moments of peace. Every time I let my mind wander, I would lose myself in the fear of dying over and over again. What's worse than that, I could never shake the deep terror of knowing someone had died in every way I had. Only they didn't get to wake up, and know it wasn't real. They never woke up again.
Even when I was awake, it wasn't as though my life was a walk in the park. Landon was constantly spreading rumors about me. I hadn't hung out with Julianne in months, and she was the best girl friend I had! Not knowing if I could ever be cured from my curse was a burden. For all I knew, I could drop dead or lose my mind at any given moment. If it weren't for Ted, I was sure I wouldn't make it another week.
We had a meeting with Snape in a few days. Ted acted positive about it, saying Snape probably wanted to give her the cure in person, but I knew he was just trying to give me some hope. I tried not to let myself wonder if it was bad news, and if so how could anything get worse than it already was.
What if there is no cure at all? What if, for the rest of my life, I will be unable to sleep peacefully? How could I go on living? My dreams had come in the day before, too. What if I am just walking down the street one day and a dream hits me, giving me a seizure in the sidewalk? I would need twenty-four hour watch. How could I have a life? How could I find anyone to spend a life with? No one would want a girlfriend like me, no matter if I were part Veela or not. I wouldn't dare have a child. What if they inherited my curse? I could never condemn someone else, much less my own child, to a life like mine.
A rumble beneath my head snapped my out of my thoughts. I looked at Teddy, who was laughing.
"I was just thinking about the beginning of the year, when we fought in the common room. I was such an idiot," he chuckled.
I smiled; remembering how worked up I had been that week. It seemed like a lifetime ago. I barely remember that girl who yelled at Ted, it was as if I was a completely different person.
Then I laughed too, because it was funny. The drama seemed so important back then, now it was so unimportant it was laughable.
I continued to laugh, then shifted my head a little to see Ted's face better. He winced and sucked in a breath. I lifted my head and stared at him.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
He quickly replied, "Nothing, forget it."
I was unconvinced, but let it pass and plopped my head back down on Ted's stomach. This time I felt him breath in sharply.
I sat up and looked at him accusingly.
"It's nothing!" He protested, but I didn't believe him. I grabbed the hem of his T-shirt and pulled it up, gasping when I saw what was underneath.
"TEDDY REMUS LUPIN! You did NOT get a tattoo!"
Ted tried to pull his shirt back down, but I wouldn't let him.
He sighed, "Obviously I did, Vic. What else could this possibly be?"
I ignored his sarcasm and turned back to the tattoo, studying it carefully. It was about the size of her hand, on the side of his ribs. If he put his arms to his side it would be above his elbow. The tattoo was exquisite; whoever had done it must have charged Ted a fortune. It was a drawing of a werewolf, standing on its hind legs and howling at the moon. Smoke surrounded and blended into the werewolf and the moon, making it look like it would drift off of Ted's skin if she blew on it. There was no color, just black with a hint of blue in the smoke. The pain in the werewolf's face and the desperate anguish of its silent cry almost brought tears to my eyes.
"It's beautiful," I breathed, reaching out and lightly running my fingers over it. I felt Ted's skin rise with chill bumps at my touch and reluctantly drew my hand away. When my eyes started to wander over the rest of his exposed chest, I quickly pulled his shirt down. I gulped, trying to fight the blush that was creeping up my neck.
"I got it before the holidays, it's still a little sore," Teddy explained.
"Oh," I said lamely.
We sat there in silence for a moment before I asked the question burning in my mind, "Why?"
Teddy didn't reply immediately. First he sat up and rested his elbows on his knees. He seemed to be in deep thought, and I wasn't sure he had even heard me. When I was about to ask him again, he opened his mouth to speak.
"The werewolf part is probably obvious. It represents my father. But it also represents my mother, in a way. Her Patronus changed from a dog to a wolf when she fell in love with my dad. The smoke makes it look just like her Patronus would have. It is sort of morbid, I guess," He said, looking down at his hands, "but I like knowing I have them with me always. I always imagine what they would tell me if they were still alive. That's why the werewolf is howling. It is all the words left unsaid that I wish I could hear. But the werewolf's cry is silent, like my parents."
My heart went out to him, but I didn't know what to say. I simply reached over and placed my hand on his forearm, rubbing it slightly with my thumb.
He looked at me with a small smile.
"Is this-" I started but paused, unsure weather or not I should continue. "Is this because of what I showed you in the Pensieve?" I tried to ask lightly.
He sighed, "Yeah."
I felt terrible. I should never have shown him that, it was just too much. I told him this and he interrupted me by taking my hand in his.
"No, Victoire. I am glad you showed me, because it gave me a chance to understand my parents. I never used to let myself think about them, but after you showed me that dream, I've felt closer to them. At first it was tough, seeing them . . ." He gulped and lost eye contact with me, "Dead . . . but after that wore off, I was able to appreciate what they sacrificed. It made me happy to see that they were together literally until the end."
He looked back at me with eyes rimmed with unshed tears, "I hope someday I can love someone even half as much as my parents loved each other."
I was silent for a while, processing the deep emotion in his words.
Suddenly a thought occurred to me.
"You know, Ted, your parent's loved you even more than they loved each other. Everything they ever did was for you. For the only person in this world they loved more than each other, for their son. I know that everyone tells you this, but your parent's would be so proud of you. You're wise beyond your years. You never run from a fight, much like your parents, so I've been told," I laughed a little, trying to lighten the mood, but the next words I said quietly. "You even saved my life."
"Vic- I really didn't-" he tried to interrupt but I shushed him.
"You did."
He just smiled, "So you really think they are proud of me?" His voice sounded only slightly insecure, a rare tone for Teddy Lupin.
I scooted next to him and rested my head on his shoulder before replying.
"I really think so, Little One," I teased, using his nickname for me.
Ted chuckled and tugged at a piece of my stringy hair.
XxXxX
It was cold, dry, and dark. So dark I couldn't see my hand in front of my face. The air felt like it lacked any oxygen, it was stiff and dusty. I tried to think of where I was, what was happening, but my mind was reeling and I couldn't gather a coherent thought.
There was no hope. No happiness. All I felt was fear and anxiety. I wanted to lean over and vomit, but I couldn't find the motivation to move from where I sat on a cold stone floor. I had no sense of time, I wasn't sure if I had been here forever or just a few moments. It was so dark and cold and I couldn't remember anything. I clawed at my own skin in agitation, wanted to figure out something, trying to understand the situation. I was so numb of any feeling at all.
My nails dug deep into my forearm and drew blood, which I could feel dripping onto my leg. I could feel the pain! I clawed harder and my arms and screamed in triumph and agony as I shredded my arm.
I growled and moved to my face, creating deep cuts from my nails on my cheeks and forehead. Blood dripped into my eyes but I kept them open, letting the warm blood trickle into them. My eyes burned like fire.
A strangled scream escaped my lips, seeming to never end as I tore my own body with my hands. I start cupping the blood that was spilling and from my face and throwing it in the air, letting it fall back down like thick rain.
It wasn't enough, just tearing my arms and face. No, I needed more feeling. I had to feel something.
I stood up and moved to a wall behind me. It was made of stone like the floor.
Without a second though, I backed up and then sprinted full on into the wall. My head connected with the stone with a crack, and I could feel it! My skull had broken. I could feel it.
I lay down on the floor and started laughing hysterically. I was shrieking, really. I felt blood from my head pour onto the floor and waiting until all my blood had poured out. I felt everything, all of the pain. Then I felt nothing.
My eyes fluttered open and I convulsed, leaning over my bed and vomiting on the floor.
With no time to think, I grabbed my wand and cleaned up the mess before sprinting out of the room.
That's not you, Victoire. That was someone else. You're a happy person. You care about your own safety. You. Are. Sane.
But I still couldn't shake the terror of being inside someone else's head like that, thinking what they thought, dying how they had died.
I ran out of my room and down the steps of the girl's dormitories, and then turned and ran up the steps of the boy's dormitories. I headed straight for the 7th year's room and open the door loudly.
Ted was already awake, and seemed to be in the middle of pulling a pair of sweatpants on while hobbling towards the door. When he saw me, he let out a sigh of relief.
Striding towards me, Ted wrapped his long arms around me and held me for a while, standing there in the doorway of his dorm. He was practically holding me up, which I was grateful for. I doubted I could stand on my own.
My head lay on Ted's chest, right above his heart, and I could hear it's steady beating. I took a few deep breaths and felt myself calm down. Eventually my heart beat matched Teddy's.
We stood like that for what felt like hours but was probably only one. Ted had started humming to me softly at some point, an old muggle Christmas song called 'Silent Night.' I could feel him humming more than hear him.
Moments passed.
I had finally calmed down.
I started humming along with him, finishing the song and then sighing.
"I don't want to go to sleep anymore. Ever," I told him. He chuckled.
"I don't know about ever, but for right now you don't have to sleep." He shifted and led me down the stairs, into the common room. I sat at the end of the couch and leaned against the arm. Ted sat next to me, draping my legs across his lap before pulling out his wand.
"Accio book," Ted muttered, and in a few seconds my favorite novel, Pride and Prejudice, was in his hands. He opened up to the first page and started reading aloud, "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife . . ."
For the next four hours, he read to me.
And I momentarily forgot about the deathly nightmare.
XxXxX
Teddy's POV
Her dreams were back. I could feel it the moment I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. I had rushed to go see her but she beat me to it and was in my doorway in seconds.
I held her and sang to her, willing peace and comfort into her with my hug.
True to what I had told myself at breakfast, I decided that distracting her was the best way to help her. So I read her that strange muggle novel about Lords and estates and intolerable cousins that made barely any sense to me, but seemed to bring her comfort.
This dream had been bad, but not as bad as the one before that. She had woken up on her own this time. She wasn't seizing like before.
I suppose this was an improvement, but it didn't mean her pain was any less intense. I wasn't quite sure what was going on inside of her head. Something told me she shouldn't hold everything in, that she needed a way to get it out.
Tonight wasn't the time to talk, though. That much I knew. Maybe tomorrow I could sort things out, get some help from Snape again. I should probably even talk to Professor McGonagall about it.
For now, though, I just quietly read a hopeful story of life, and love, and dreams to a girl who was robbed of that every time she closed her eyes.
A/N: REVIEWS MAKE ME UPDATE! Just saying… I love this chapter. It was so fun to write. Gets sort of creepy but eh, whatcha gunna do about it. Guess who's death that was that Victoire dreamed of?
