Chapter 4

Austin found himself on his back against soft blankets, along with a first full of red hair and lips pushing desperately against him. His slightly sloshed mind only partially recognized that the person above him was Dez, and that this was a fantasy come true. Actually he wasn't completely convinced it was really happening.

"God I shouldn't be doing this," Dez whispered breathlessly as he ran his hands down Austin's side. Austin simply rubbed his nose against Dez's neck, and continued to run his fingers through red locks. Their lips met, this time more gently with love behind the motion. Dez cupped Austin's cheek as he coaxed his tongue between parted lips.

"Are you even going to remember this in the morning?" Dez questioned gently between kisses. Austin could only nod, his mind still fuzzy but getting sober with every kiss. "I really do love you, and I know you feel the same." Austin's mind absorbed the conversation but he did not react, he simply continued to softly kiss his friend. Dez paused and had a big smile on his face.

"I always know everything about you. For a while I wanted to tell you I knew. I thought you might pick up on my hints…I wanted you to come to me. With your career and everything…I wanted you to come to me and tell me you'd put up with all the shit we'd have to go through. That I was worth risking your career for, because the last thing I want to do is ruin your dream."

Austin looked deeply into blue eyes as his mind processed the emotional statement. It took him a little longer then it would where he not under the lingering influence of alcohol. Once he understood that statement completely he had no control over the small amount of tears pooling at the corner of his eyes.

"You're worth it." He crocked. His voice came out raspy and he seemed surprised to hear it. He cleared his throat and looked at Dez, trying to shake the last remaining affects of the alcohol. It was useless, but he was sober enough to answer truthfully. "You're worth my career."

Austin was engulfed in a strong suffocating hug, only to be drowned in butterfly kisses a few minutes later.

The kisses soon turned more serious as tongues twined around each other lovingly. Both men cupped each other's faces as they continued to kiss, slight gasps and moans escaping occasionally when they paused to catch air. Austin threw his head back on the pillow and Dez took advantage by attacking his neck with love bites. Hands started to travel lower, and loving caresses turned into lustful groping.

"We should wait until your sober," Dez said reluctantly as he stopped Austin from reaching for his groin.

"I'm sober enough, my reaction time is a bit slow, but I know what I'm doing." The blond protested before batting his eyelashes and looking at Dez seductively. "Please?

The redhead bit his lip, and looked away as if this would somehow help him keep his self control. In order to break that control Austin rolled his hips upwards. Dez bit his lips harder but that didn't stifle his moan.

"Please?" Austin repeated again as he continued rolling his hips.

"Ok, ok!" Dez gave in and met the movement of Austin's hips with his own gentle thrust. Soon the redhead's hands were moving to tug at the waist of Austin's jeans. They stopped drying humping long enough to remove the barrier of clothing between them, only to push against bare skin breathlessly once it was removed.

"Oh god," Austin moaned and pulled Dez closer to him until their chest met, and their naked bodies were flush against each other. It was a very sobering sensation and Austin couldn't imagine ever getting enough of that feeling.

Dez kissed him again gently and rocked a little, before maneuvering Austin to bend his knees and spread them apart. "Do you have lube or lotion or something?"

"In the first drew of the nightstand." It was the most coherent thing he had said all night, and the fuzzy headedness of being drunk was soon being replaced with the fuzziness of love and longing.

Dez wasted no time in slicking up his finger in anticipation of preparing Austin. Then it dawned on him that his friend might not want this position as much as he did. "Do you mind if I top?"

"No, go ahead I want it."

Having gotten permission to proceed Dez prepares Austin gentle with one finger at first. Austin's eyes closed as Dez wiggled in another finger slowly spreading him. It hurt and was very uncomfortable, but Austin was use to it, he had to go through the same process when he was pleasuring himself. He knew it would get good after the initial discomfort, and he was not disappointed once Dez pulled his fingers out and replaced it with a much larger appendage.

"Fuck," Austin whispered as he screwed his eyes shut. His redheaded love stopped immediately and looked at him with worry.

"You ok?" Austin could only manage a slow nod, as his nails dug into white sheets. A hand came to pet his face and Austin opened his eyes half way. "You sure?"

"Yeah, keep going." He muttered and pushed his hips down trying to impale himself. Dez took the hint and continues. Austin let out a loud sigh of relief once his lover was fully in. The blonde already looked like a sexed up wreck and they hadn't even gotten to the good part. Of course the mused up state that Austin's hair was in and the heavy breathing only served to turn Dez on even more, so he could hardly restrain himself and soon enough his hips stuttered forward in a timid shallow thrust. This seemed to be agreeable as Austin started to relax and wrap his legs around his partner. Soon the pace was picked up and the two men were lost in the sensation.

Austin's voice chanted, "Oh fuck, oh fuck," almost as if it was his new biggest hit. Dez found that to be not only cute but very funny, so he chuckled. This caught Austin's attention.

"What part of having sex with me is funny?" He asked breathlessly between moans, and with a half hearted glare on his face.

"Nothing, just, you're cute when you curse." The blond hardly used profanity, and the answer Dez gave made him blush.

"Shut up," He muttered. The statement was soon followed by a loud, "Oh fuck", when the Dez deepened and quickened his pace. Austin ran his hands through red hair before pulling down his best friend for a deep kiss. Between lips meeting the chanting continued, and Austin was completely lost in the sensation of Dez continually stimulating his prostate.

Once the chanting turn into rather musical sounding moans, Dez took it as a sign that Austin was close to climax. So he wrapped his hand around Austin and started to pump his fist along with his thrusts. This made the blond go crazy and his mouth hung open in a soundless scream. It didn't take much to bring him over the edge. Dez again found himself thinking that Austin was cute, as he finished up himself.

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Austin awoke with a groan as he shielded his eyes from the sun shiny into the room. The blinds had been pulled up all the way and the sun was not only blinding but added to his headache. He rolled over and pulled the covers over his head as an extra shield. He squinted at the bedside table and saw a letter, glass of water and two pills waiting for him. He took the pills fist and then read the letter;

"It's a nice sunny day! Hope you enjoyed it as you woke up, next time don't drink so much. I'm in your office having a meeting with the lead editor and producer of the movie, we'll talk once I'm done.

XOXO, Dez"

Austin smiled and gave the piece of paper a kiss. The letter jogged his memory of last night, and the promise he had made to Dez, and what that promised had lead to. The redhead probably expected him not to recall but how could he forget a night like that? He stretched and made his way to his own room to get ready for the day and endure his hangover.

Once dressed he went into the living room were Ally was sheepishly eating her breakfast. Austin's smile fell as more memories from the night before entered his brain. He felt bad about what he said to Ally. She didn't deserve to be yelled at, and even though she wasn't in the lime light didn't mean she didn't work hard. Most of all she was always there to support Austin, and for that the blonde was grateful.

"Ally," He walked up to her with a lopsided smile. Ally seemed surprised to be addressed by him. "I'm sorry, I had no right to say what I did. You were just looking out for me, you've always been looking out for me. I know I have a problem…I just don't know how to live without it."

Ally's eyes shimmered with tears. "I didn't mean to yell, but I just worry. I want you to be happy, and I just don't think you are happy when you drink."

"I'm not, but I didn't want to admit it to myself. I just feel less anxious when I drink, everything is so much easier, and I don't want to let go of that, because when I don't drink everything is so chaotic."

"But you can do it without the alcohol Austin, You use to, and you can again. Let's get you some help, to get back to normal."

"I want to but…I don't know if I can." Austin shook his head and put his hand up, he didn't want to talk about this anymore. "I told Dez" He said in order to change the subject.

"Told Dez what?"

"How I feel."

"Oh my god…what happened, what did he say?"

"He's liked me the whole time, he was just afraid that our relationship would ruin my career. What with my fan base being mainly teenage girls that have crushes on me. Kinda bursts their bubble doesn't it?" Austin joked to hide the fact that even though Dez was worth ruining his career, he was still afraid of what would happen.

"Oh Austin, you're whole life is turning around, this is great. Forget about the fans, follow your heart, you deserve it!" Ally hugged him and truly felt happy for her friend. She could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Dez would surely be on her side about getting Austin help with his drinking problem. Austin would have a goal to work for and a support system to lean on during his up in coming struggle with sobriety.

"I'm still a little worried. Think of the amount of work Trish will have to do to get my public image back."

Ally shook her head and laughed, "Don't worry about it. I'm supposed to be the worry wart, you're just supposed to be the free spirit!"

.

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Austin felt great after talking to Ally, and his friend was happier too. She had to go out and do some shopping she had invited Austin to come along but he turned her down, he still had Dez to talk to. The redhead was still in the office, so Austin assumed he was still busy with his movie. He was growing anxious though, he really wanted to talk to him. He wanted to make sure that they were on the same page and that they could move forward with a serious relationship.

A part of him wondered how they would even pull off having a relationship. They were both so busy and hardly in the same spot for long. Austin always came back to Miami after a tour, but Dez mainly stayed in New York when he wasn't working on set.

"Austin, how are you feeling?" Dez asked loudly as he entered the room.

"Ally gave me something for my hangover so I'm better." He smile and patted the spot next to him on the couch for Dez to sit down.

"So you remember?"

"Yeah I do." Austin leaned over to rest his head on Dez's shoulder.

"I want you to stop." Austin pulled back quickly and gave Dez a hurt look. "Stop drinking, I want you to stop drinking!" Dez clarified.

"Yeah I know…it's gonna take a while. I'll try I just….I can't promise I'll kick the habit right away."

"It's not a habit, it's a problem. Remember first step is admitting you have a problem." Dez said while pinching Austin's nose.

"Yeah, just give me some time. Can I just enjoy now without having to worry about what I have to do later." He asked and wrapped his arms around Dez, pulling him in for a hug.

"I guess, but I haven't had breakfast yet." Dez's stomach growled in agreement, and Austin laughed.