Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Chapter 5

They really didn't last.

Kagura collapsed while fixing the roof on the fourth day. She took Gintoki and Shinpachi rolling down the roof with her. Okita went down with a fierce cold which lasted for nearly a week (never happened before) and was unable to continue his daily routine, killing Hijikata. Kamui fell asleep at the dinner table, which was considered critical by Abuto. The Yato boy will never sleep when there are foods in front of him.

By the end of the week, all three of them had come to an agreement in order to survive. The rule was simple; do not show or indicate any attempt to kill, harm, abuse or rape (added by Kamui) their roommates in any verbal and physical form. Whoever breaks the rule will be severely punished by the other two.

The key was to have no interaction at all. Okita came close to breaking the 'no rape' rule once when he was changing his shirt and Kagura walked in. It was considered normal for Kagura, with this room originally belongs to Okita and all, but not for Kamui. Kamui dashed in 2 seconds after as if he had been waiting for that moment and nearly destroyed the whole room with his smile still plastered on his face. He called it 'sexual assault' and 'polluting young female's innocent'.

The remaining two weeks was painful, but they all managed to get through it somehow.

On the start of the third week, the Hijikata and Kondo suddenly called everyone in for a meeting and told them that Yamazaki has finally gathered enough information. The team was decided by a rock-paper-scissor game (which was ridiculous in Kagura's opinion) and Kagura ended up in the same group with her roommates. Seriously, what are the chances of that? Kondo, Shinpachi and Yamazaki are in the same group while Hijikata, Gintoki and Abuto get to be together. The remaining three people were Kagura, Kamui and Okita.

"Listen up," said the Mayora while Kagura was cursing at her luck, "the Kumoto does not know how strong we are or our number yet. The best way to bring them down is to destroy them from the inside of their own ship. We must sneak in as separate groups so that they will be confuse and we must destroy the engine, the weapons and the power room before they can proceed any further than this. We don't know what made them wait for so long, but according to Yamazaki, they will finally make their first move today."

"Pause right there, Ogushi- kun." Yawned Gintoki lazily as he scratched his back. Hijikata clenched his teeth and snapped at him.

"My name is not Ogushi! And what part of my wonderful explanation don't you get?"

"Just shut up and listen to me. The ship is freaking big, if you know what I mean. It is even bigger than the mayonnaise collection you have in your room. It will take us days or maybe even weeks to find each other in there; don't need to mention all those things we must destroy. How are we going to contact each other during those time, huh, Toshi-kun?"

"Don't call me Toshi so casually, damn perm." Muttered Hijikata. This guy is actually very good at this kind of thing. Well, he used to be regarded as Shiroyasha, after all. This much is only expected. "I have already prepared for that. Yamazaki!"

"Yes, Vice Commander!" Yamazaki responded and tossed every group a bottle of mayonnaise. They looked at it and stared at Hijikata.

"Hijikata-san," Okita started, "I know that in your world, mayonnaise fixes everything. But I really don't see how a bottle of this shit…"

"It is not shit, it is mayonnaise! And look inside carefully before you start criticizing me."

Kagura snatched the bottle from Okita's hand and untwisted the red cap. Inside the seemingly useless mayonnaise bottle is a small machine flashing a small red light.

"Woah, what is this, Hijikata-san?" Asked Shinpachi after he peered inside the bottle.

"It is a Mayo- talkie. This will help us communicate without them being able to detect our signal. With this, we will be just fine. But since the batteries can't be charged in there, we have to use it as less as we can…"

"SUKONBU ROCKS!" Kagura yelled into the Mayo-talkie as she pressed down on the small button on the cap. Her voice resounded in every Mayo-talkie devices there are in the room.

"Hey, cut it out…"

"I WANT TO HAVE STRAIGHT HAIR!" Gin yelled into the other one. His voice was loud as if he was speaking on a microphone.

"You, sugar addict, stop!"

"OTSU-CHAN CHOMEI, CHOMEI!"

"ANPAN, ANPAN, ANPAN!"

"OTAE-SAN, PLEASE MARRY ME…"

"Shut your traps! Yelling in the Mayo- talkie won't make your wishes come true! And what do you think you are doing, Kondo-san?!"

"Eh, I was proposing my unconditional love to Otae-san…"

"I don't actually need your explanation!"

Okita took the Mayo-talkie from Kagura and inhaled a deep breath. "DIE, HIJIKATA YOU BASTARD! THIS DESIGN IS SO UGLY IT MAKES ME WANT TO PUKE!"

"What did you say, Sougo?! You son of a…!"

The fight broke out quickly and fiercely in the room. Shinpachi was thrown in the air by Gintoki and crashed with the poor Yamazaki who just happened to sit close to the angry Hijikata. Kamui and Abuto watched in amazement.

Soon enough, when they were all drained of energy, Hijikata panted and tried to continue.

"A…as you shit heads… may have already… ah, my back… known… we have three groups here. The door to their ship will… open at twelve thirty, so be ready for it… and jump for the chance… I'll give each group a map… map… and you just wait for them in the location we marked there… as soon as they get out… Sougo's group will distract them for us and every else just get in the ship. Sougo, try to take… out as many as you can while you are on your way in, got it?"

"Eh, doesn't this mean that I'm doing all the work here, Hijikata-san?"

"Why do you think you have the other two Yatos with you, huh? They are the strongest and they know most about the Kumoto. Of course I'm gonna give you extra work for that."

"That's not fair. You have Abuto-san with you too."

"Look," said Hijikata as he was getting impatient, "if I were to tell you to make the way in the ship quietly without fighting anyone, will you be able to do it?"

"No. I've got to cut a head or two before I get in the ship." Answered Okita instantly.

"That's my point. Now everybody go pack your stuff and scram. Pack enough supplies for at least 5 days. The maps of their drop-off locations are on the table. Get it after you are done packing."

Everybody got up from their seats and stretched with small conversations. Gintoki took this chance to approach both Shinpachi and Kagura quietly. "You guys know how dangerous this can get, right? I'm kind of worry since the awesome me can't go with you… be careful. Okay?"

"Of course, Gin-san. We'll be careful, right, Kagura-chan?"

"That's right. There's no need for you to worry. I'll die after you for sure!"

"Damn brats…" Gin sighed with a small smile on his face. He reached out his hand and patted Kagura's and Shinpachi's head. "Just make sure you don't get killed. When we do meet again, let's hope that their ship is sunken low in ground, yeah?"

"Yup! I'll see you soon, Gin-chan, Shinpachi."

Kagura waved and walked away. Her eyes are determined and fierce. I won't let anything bad happen to them. Be it the aliens or the Kumoto… I'll take them all on!


Present time

Location: Behind the bushes

"I think we are in the wrong spot." Kagura spoke up after 40 minutes of sitting in the middle of Okita and Kamui. Their enemies are late. Something is wrong here. Okita and Kamui gave each other another intense glare and look around.

"How could that be? We follow exactly what the Earthling told us to do." Kamui mumbled, directing the statement to the Earthling who is in the way of him and his sister's reunion.

"Don't ask me," said Okita grumpily, "if we had follow the compass like I told you to do, we would've been in the right spot."

"Yeah? Well the compiss… whatever you call it, is wrong. According to the direction that the stars are locating…"

"Shut the hell up, both of you!" Kagura yelled angrily. She grabbed her parasol and got up. When she saw no signs of enemies, she walked right out of the bushes and look at the floating boat.

"What are you doing, sister? If we are going to take the risk, then let the Earthling take it."

"Huh, to think that you are scared of a small little Kumoto. Please, Papa, find him enough cushion so he won`t get hurt when he fall down from the bike!"

"Scared? Me? You are the one shivering in your…"

"Stop!" Kagura yelled once more. Back at the Shinsengumi's quarter, all three of them barely talks because they don't want to hold any grudge and break the peace rule by fighting each other at night, but now that they are free of that sleepless nights, the Sadist and her stupid brother had been going at it like stray dogs. "The weather is too hot for this. I'm hungry and we can't find our enemies yet. So let's just go grab the Dango across the street real quick and…"

"Are you serious, China? Dango at time like these?"

"… So what?"

"Wouldn't Ramen be more fulfilling? I know this store. It's kind of far away, but I'm sure that if we run…"

Is he inviting my dear little sister on a date? Kamui clenched his teeth as he tries to keep up his smile; she's too young for that. There's no way in the fucking hell I would let her…

THUD.

A sound from the other side of the park made all three jumped. Okita, who was closer to Kagura pressed Kagura's head down and got into a crouching position behind the bushes. Soon enough, the trio can hear another footstep following each other.

"Man, we can finally do our job." Came a sound from somewhere close by. Okita and Kagura crawled into the bushes where Kamui is hiding and listen carefully to their voices.

"Yeah. The Earthlings are so damn stupid to let us invade them this easily. Have they no pride?" Another voice spoke. Kamui smiled excitedly as he enters his homicidal mode and Kagura gripped her parasol closer. These ignorant bastards are the Kumoto, alright.

"Though, I can't believe the Commander has diarrhea at such a time like this. The whole washroom reeks of last night's dinner and what not. We are delayed from our plan for nearly 50 minutes!"

Diarrhea? Kagura turned to look at her teammates in disbelief. They are late to the battle and I have to put up with these two for another 50 minutes because their Commander has diarrhea? This is so fucking messed up! Are they even taking this invasion seriously?

"Psst… China, China 2, we'll attack them in 20 seconds. Once you attack, don't get too engage in the fight and just sprint for the ship. We just have to cause enough chaos for the other group to sneak in. Got it?" Okita whispered. Kamui looked at the Shinsengumi officer and cracked his fingers quietly. Well, there will be enough time to have fun in that ship. I guess I'll listen to him for once.

"15 seconds."

Kagura got to her knees.

"7 seconds"

Okita shifted his position closer to the Yato girl.

"4…"

Kamui notices Okita movement towards his sister…

"3…"

…and smacked Okita's head.

"2…"

Okita elbowed back.

"1…"

Kagura kicked them both in annoyance.

"Go!"


I would like to take this chance to thank everybody who read this slobby fanfiction of mine. The reviews and comments made me the happiest person alive. It made my day. Please review more and I will give you 300 yen.

Thank you!