Between a Rock and a Hard Place
Chapter 9
"Hmm…" Kagura groans as she opens her heavy eyelids. Her head is spinning and her body sores. She feels as if she is drunk. Eh… It is just me or does the room looks different? "Ah… shit. What happened last night…"
She felt something moving across her legs and snaps out of her sleepiness. Kagura holds her breath, looks down, and nearly scream.
There, on her left thigh, is Kamui's head. He tosses around happily in his sleep.
And there, on her right thigh, is Okita's head. With the eye mask over his face, he mumbles something about the assassination of Hijikata.
"WAKE UP YOU SHITHEADS!"
"Unn… oh, good morning, dear sister." Kamui smiles. He reaches out his hand but then realised that his hands are bind behind him like some kidnapped kid. "Ari? Who tied my hands?"
"Shut your trap, China. I was having a good dream about Hijikata-san downfall in life and… Ari? Who tied my hands?"
"I don't know. We must have made too much chaos last night and they must've found us. How did we end up here anyway?" Kagura spat and tries to pull her hands apart from behind, but it seems like the rope that are used to tie them is too strong. It must've been specially made…
"See, I think I remember something." Kamui chirps and got up into a sitting position. "If I remember correctly, it must have been when…"
Kamui's Flashback…
In the midst of their blood boiling battle…
Kagura jumped in the air with her giant bag in her hand…
The bag hit him hard in the face…
It bounced to Okita…
Who'd then slammed his time bomb in the bag…
And threw it to Kagura who gracefully dodged it…
The bag hit the wall…
Made a beeping noise…
And exploded.
End of Kamui's Flashback.
"So, what. You are blaming it on me?" Okita asks when the two sibling glare at him with hatred and rage filled in their eyes. "I didn't do anything wrong."
"You used your damn bomb in that room! They must've found us because of the noise, drugged us and bring us here when we were knocked out!" Kagura shouts angrily.
Okita snorts and shook his head. "No, that's not what I remember. I don't think I even have a bomb on me. Here, let's listen to the story in my version…"
Okita's flashback…
Hijikata-san died.
End of Okita's flashback.
"It was you who got us here! It was definitely you!"
"You are being so loud, China." Okita yawns. "What's the big deal, anyway? We were just captured. No biggie."
"Hey, Earthling," Kamui brings himself closer to Okita's face by scooting with his legs and shows a scary smile. His antenna twitches. "Do you know how much of a disgrace it would be for me if my subordinates were to find out that their leader was captured because of you?"
"Oh, I would just love to see my subordinates' faces too. You are not the only leader in here. Stop being so self-centered, China2."
"Is there no way out of here?" Kagura asks the other two men who are starting a new battle with their legs alone. "Damn it. You stupid scums outside! I know that you are there so just hurry and untie me!"
The door swings open, followed by the three Kumoto guards who step into the room, wrapped in a black, heavy cloak. Okita and Kamui stop their fight as Kagura spits on the ground. "Come on; hurry it up before I kill all of you KORA!"
"A little Earthling girl has no right to be negotiating with us." One of the guards speaks up. He eyes Kagura as if he is calculating something in her.
Is he calculating her body measurement? Kamui thinks angrily, that bastard! My sister's body measurements are somewhere around 3—
He must be looking at her skin. Okita thinks. His blood boils inside. Well, just so you know, her skin is even whiter underneath her—
"I think that we should separate her from the rest, Captain. She proves to be dangerous." The guy speaks up. Kamui and Okita mouth hang open.
The Captain, upon seeing his intruders displeased by this suggestion, smiles. "Fine, you can take her to the other cell."
"Oh, no. You guys don't know what you are doing." Kamui's aura darkens. His foot is tapping the ground impatiently.
"Wrong move, dude. Give China back. She is my slave. I need the cup thingy on her head to put in my dump." Okita's snarls.
"Good idea. I need to go to the washroom anyway." Kagura beams and got up.
"China! / Sister dear!" They exclaim in unison. Kagura turns around, sticks out her tongue and leaves the room with the Kumoto guy close behind her. The door slams shut after them.
"Oi, You bastards!" Okita swears and get to his feet the same moment as Kamui. They struggle without their enemy seeing to get out of the rope, but their effort seems useless.
"Now then," the Captain smirks and speaks up with the two men, "Let us discuss something very important. Which one of you called our Kurumi-chan a b… b… bit… bitch?!"
"Whew…" Kagura sighs in the small empty room once the rope behind her was untied. "Good job. You weren't exactly useless after all."
"Was that supposed to be a compliment?" The Kumoto guard asks sheepishly as he takes out the cloak from around his face. In his mouth is a piece of Anpan. "Even so, I'm surprised that Okita-taichou wasn't able to catch on. He really opposed you leaving the room back there. Damn, he looked so scary I thought he was going to bit off my head and I would never be able to see my badminton again!"
"Your Okita-taichou is useless." Kagura states out to Yamazaki and catches the Mayo-talkie he tossed to her. "Where is your group, Anpan man?"
"Oh, they are somewhere near the operating center right now. When you guys were captured, your Mayo-talkie was on, so we heard the whole thing. Shinpachi-kun and Commander took out one of the guards so that I can replace him, stole back the Mayo-talkie plus the weapons and freed at least one of you guys. I was going to help Okita-san, but heck; he was so enraged he didn't even notice that it was me at all."
"I told you, Sadist is useless." Kagura stretches and grabs her parasol, Kamui's parasol and Okita's katana from under Yamazaki's cloak. "Thanks for helping me, but I can take care of the rest. You should go back to your group and do whatever you were doing near the operating center, Anpan man."
"I'm not an Anpan man! My name is Yamazaki. Ya-ma-za-ki! Similar to 'Ryo-ma' from Pr*nce of Tenn*s!"
"I couldn't careless whether your name is Anpan man or Ryoma. I'm leaving."
"It is Yamazaki! In the end, you never get my name right!" Yamazaki cries after Kagura who left the room. All by himself again with Anpan in his mouth, Yamazaki solemnly climbs up the air pipe on the ceiling and disappeared with a sobbing sound. "Hungh… hungh… It is Yamazaki…"
"Kurumi-chan is a big slutty bitch!" Okita yells at the top of his lungs deadpanned. The other two Kumoto guys dance in anger. They can't hurt the intruders yet because they have to wait for their leader to arrives and squeezes out every last drop of information these two may hold.
"SHE IS NOT… WHATEVER YOY JUST SAID!"
"Oh, yes she is." Kamui smiles, even though both of them are tied and are clearly in the worse position, they are still as much of the Sadist as usual. "You just don't know her well enough. Last night, she cheated on her husband. She opened her door to some other guy! How horrible is that?!"
"Uh-huh." Okita nods. "Just so you know, I banged her (scanning machine) so hard blood started to come out (from the Kumoto guy's head)."
"YOU…YOU…YOU… BASTARDS!" The captain jumps angrily. He looks like a monkey stepping on a hot pan. "I'LL KILL YOU AND GAIN BACK KURUMI-CHAN'S DIGNITY!"
"Too late. It's already tainted with a big, dirty stain." Okita answered calmly. While the stupid captain was so worked up for that bitch… Kuruma or whatever her name is, he moves closer to Kamui and started to undo the tight knot behind him.
"YOU ARE DEAD!" The Captain howls. That was the moment when Kamui's knot was undo and Kamui seize the opportunity right away. He grabs Okita's collar, lifts him up and hurl him at the angry Captain. The moment the Captain went down with Okita (who he couldn't care less about, rather, he wants Okita dead), Kamui turns to the other guy and punches him hard in the face.
"Oof… China2 you bastard!" Okita muffles as he scrapes the rope around his wrists against the knocked-out Captain's nose. Finally, after the sparks started to occurs, the rope snaps.
"You are slow, Earthling. Where could that son of a Kurumi-chan have taken my little sister?"
"Beats me." Okita rubs his wrists and smoothed over his Shinsengumi coat as he and Kamui step out of the room. "Once I find that China girl, I'm going to have a real good talk with her. How could she have left with her enemy that easily?"
"She's probably annoyed with you." Kamui smirks. Okita let out a fake 'ha-ha' robotic laugh.
"Nah, if she would be annoyed with someone, that person has got to be you. I mean, ever since she met you back at our head quarter, she hates you."
"I'm her brother! Besides, she hates you too."
"Then she is probably annoyed with both of us."
…
Kamui scratches his cheek and Okita rubs the back of his head. Well this is awkward. China hates both of us?
"Ahem," came a similar sound from behind them. Both men turn around and see Kagura standing there with their weapons. "True enough, you guys are both annoying. But I'm not that stupid."
"Sister dear~" Kamui let out a sound of relief, though his face is still all smiley like how it always was since the beginning of the journey. Okita was able to maintain his deadpanned face and just takes the katana from Kagura.
"Did you kiledl the guy or what?"
"Are you really that dumb? The seemingly scary Kumoto guy was just actually the Anpan man in disguised."
"Ah, Yamazaki. I should've known." Okita mumbles. They walk down the hallway once again. Kagura takes out the Mayo-talkie and presses the button.
"I got the other two idiots with me. Over."
"Good job, Kagura-chan. Are you okay? When was the last time you have eaten anything? Over." Shinpachi asks through the Mayo-talkie. Kagura freezes.
"The last time I have eaten was… was… ughh." The two Yato siblings fall to the ground. Kamui's stomach makes an awfully loud rumbling sound. "Patsuan, you have just reminded us of this… game over. Life over. Over."
"I swear to god." Okita swore. Now I'm stuck with two hungry, useless Yato. "Get up, Yato-san."
"Can't…" The two siblings say in unison with their shaky voices. "We Yatos don't just eat to feel full. We eat more than other species because we are… the strongest and we need a lot more energy to go around."
"How can I get food for you in a situation like this?" Okita scratches his head thoughtfully. Kagura slowly looks up and hands him something.
The dark matter.
"Scrub this on your skin and maybe you will look tanner, like them."
"Are you dumb? If my skin were to be burned off, the only color there will be is pink and white of bone underneath!"
"Your skin is as thick as hell, so just hurry up and get us some food!" Kagura points out and tries to shoves the dark matter forcefully into Okita's hand, but the Sadist prince refuses it with all his might.
"No way. I enjoy seeing you two prideful people crawling on the floor like this. If you cling to my leg and say 'ah, master, please feed this slave of yours with your passionate, cruel heart!', then I might consider it."
"Okay…" Kamui agrees and moves closer to Okita. With his iron grip that could break bones around Okita's legs, he started.
"Ah, maste…"
"OW OW OW! Wait, you are breaking my legs! China2 stop! It is snapping! Really snapping!"
"You don't need to be so desperate," Kagura mumbles, her eyes are blank and distanced. "I'll just eat the dark matter and die here…"
"Don't do it, China! It is a pure suicide! I'll get you guys some food so just let me go already, okay?" Okita pushes off Kamui's head. With that being said, he walks off while the two sibling hide in a small section of the hallway.
5 minutes later…
"Run for your lives!" Okita skips and whips out his bazooka at the crowd coming after them. Kagura and Kamui's mouth drop open.
"What the hell have you done? We told you to get us food, not enemies!"
"Yeah… you see, it was actually going well in their cafeteria. They didn't suspect a thing… until this one guy cuts the line, so I slapped him across the face like a boss." Okita whistles. He tosses each of them a banana while the three are running.
"I can't believe you, Sadist!" Kagura pops the banana in her mouth and throws the peel on the ground, resulting many slips-and-head-hitting incidents of the Kumotos. "Taste the true power of the King of Fruits, banana!"
"This way." Kamui pulls his sister aside to the secured looking room. Okita follows behind. He uses the pass-card he'd stolen from the guard Captain (yes, people. He is Okita Sougo, the king of the dirties. What do you expect?) and scans his way through the heavy door which opens right away.
"That room! Don't let them in that room no matter what! Hold them off!" The Kumoto guys yell, but it was too late for them. The trio sprint into the room and the door closes.
"Whew, that was a close call." Kagura stops panting and collapse behind the door. After recovering her strength, she looks up and sees something unbelievable before her eyes while Okita and Kamui just can't help but also stare. "WOAH, What the heck is this?!"
