A/N: Thank you for the review. And i am glad i am still alive to update the rest of the story. LOL. First i want to said Happy Valentine Day to everyone. Second this chapter is for my girl GIGGLES 811. She convince me to update tonight. Anyway i have four more chapters and the story is over. Please Reviews and tell me what you guys think. Thanks.


"We are ping down here." I scream through my ear set.

"Jules we are coming?" Greg said.

"Can you take cover?" Ed asked.

"Can't move, Sam is on top of me, he has me ping down plus we have no shield. Ah."

"Jules."

"I am ok, got shot in the leg."

"We are coming. Hold on." Wordy said.

"No send uniforms get this guy. Sam." I said but he wouldn't move. And we can't push ourselves up. So I try to drag myself and Sam back toward a better cover.

"We are almost there. This should be over soon. Ed you are sierra." Greg said.

"On it, I see someone on top of city hall."

"We let you know in a few second is that our shooter. Jules how are you guys doing?"

"I manage to move us a little, so the bullet can't hit us or hit to close to us. But Sam is still out and bleeding a lot."

"We are here. Ed that is our shooter, when you have the shot takes it." Greg said.

"Got it boss." Ed said and it felt like an eternity before the shots stop.

"Clear, get EMS there now." Ed yells. Then I see two uniform guys come follow by paramedics. They took Sam off me and put him on a stretcher and then one help me up. We rush down, and team one was downstairs waiting for us.

"Jules."

"Boss, he lost a lot of blood." I said on the verge of crying.

"He strong, he would be alright. How about you, you got shot too."

"I am ok."

"Jules go with them, your leg need tending. We would follow you guys soon." He said and with that I follow EMS. I didn't need to be told twice to go with Sam.

When we reach the hospital, I follow Sam in the stretcher.

"Miss you have to wait out here. We going to do everything we can for your partner."

"Please don't let him die."

"He is in the best care. How about we go check your leg?" She said and guides me to another room. After cleaning my wound, they realize it was not life threating. It just grazes me and I needed a couple stiches.

"This is for the pain." She said.

"No thank you, I am ok."

"You sure, even with a graze it still hurts."

"I am ok, plus I can't drink any pain medication." I snap.

"Alright I am sorry, look how about you go sit in the private waiting room, and I would come and get you when I hear anything about your partner. And I would let the rest of your team know where you at."

"I am sorry, I didn't mean to snap."

"I know it is a horrible situation, but it could have being worst, if it wasn't because of your team. So thank you, we all got family out there, so we all got scare when we heard about the shooter killing random people." She said and gave me a smile. She even looks like she wanted to hug me.

"Thanks." I said and she guides me to the waiting room.

I couldn't sit down. I was so worried and scare I didn't know what to do with myself. I can't lose Sam, especially now. I need him more than ever. And he can't die because of this. He can't, not because of me.

"Oh Sam." I said and with that I sat down in one of the chairs.

I can't believe this happening. Last night was one of the happiest moments of my life and I never thought that I would see my future so clear. I was so excited that I hardly slept. It has being two months that Sam and I broke up again, and yesterday, I knew that I was going to give up everything for him. But now, he might die and leave me.

"The roof is clear." I said.

"Jules" Sam scream and then he running toward me when the shot hit.

"Officer down, we need EMS. Officer down."

"I did it right this time." He said and I smile. Yes you did it right this time. That is what I wanted. I wanted Sam to be the one to get hurt. That why I had those nightmare, because I blame him, for not coming to my rescue. I blame him for being slow enough and for not protecting me. And now history repeats itself, he actually saves me and I am nowhere satisfied with the result.

"Stay with me Sam." I said and I don't understand why, I wanted to hurt him, didn't I?

"No"

"Jules, wake up, it just a nightmare." Greg is front of me and I realize I felt as sleep on the chair.

"Jules you are shaking." Wordy said and I look down at my hands and they full of blood. Sam bloods.

"This is my fault." I snap.

"No it is not."

"Yes it is. I blame him. This is what I wanted and I am still not satisfied. I am still hurting him."

"Jules calm down, you just emotional right now, it being a long day. Sam would be alright. He is strong." Ed said.

"He is not." I snap and got up.

"He is hurting, he being hurting since I got shot all those months ago. And I hurt him more with my nightmares. I have broken his heart so many times and he still willing to protect me and love me unconditionally." I said and started crying.

"Jules, why are you saying that?" Greg asked.

"Boss, it my fault."

"No, Jules, Sam would not let you blame yourself for this. He would never make you feel guilty about anything." Spike said.

"And that why this hurt so much, because he would never, let me feel guilty. But I am guilty."

"Jules start from the beginning." Greg said.

"Remember two in half months ago, when we had the call with the counselor and the radio guy."

"Yes."

"Well, when we heard the shot, I froze. I got scare for one second but I didn't know why at first. Then the night, the nightmares started."

"What were the nightmares about?" Ed asked.

"We were back on the rooftop, were I got shot, and now Sam. Anyway, I see Sam just staring at me, and he is not doing anything to help me. And when I get shot he smile and told me I deserved it, that women can't do this job."

"Jules you know that is not true." Greg said.

"I know, but each time it was something different, but every time it end up, with me being scare of Sam. Me not trusting Sam, and me feeling like I wanted him to get hurt because I was hurt. While I was going through that, Sam was also dealings with his own. He knew about my nightmares. Apparently it was not the first time. When I was in the hospital, I had them regularly and I use to talk in my sleep. So he would sit there and listen to me blame him for the reason I got shot, for not protecting me, and for disappointing me. And the worst part is that he believes is true."

"That is not true, it wasn't you guys fault. It was mine. He was after me." Ed snaps.

"No it wasn't anybody faults but the shooter, so stop it." Wordy said.

"So what happen next?" Greg asked.

"He was being really cold with me so I confronted him. He never told me. But one night he showed up at my door crying. I knew it was something big, so I let him in. We had sex and we didn't speak about it. The next morning I pressure him to tell me the truth. And that is when he told me details about my dream. How he was hurting because I was hurting. That he fail to protect me. I reassure him that it was not his fault, but I know deep down he still feel responsible."

"How come we didn't notice this?" Greg said more to himself than anyone else.

"He is good at hiding his pain. And that one of the reason that he treated Donna like that, he didn't want to get close to another team member, especially a woman, because it hurt too much. He said that the day I got shot was the day that he lost everything. That he lost me." I said and by now I need to sit down because I could hardly see clearly with all the tears.

"Sorry but I have to asked. Are you guys together now?" Ed asked.

"No, we decide to try again, but after the goose and the conversation with had when Spike brought up the subject, after you guy left we broke up."

"I am sorry." Spike said.

"It is not your fault. It was true, plus all this is my fault."

"Jules they were nightmares, this is not your fault." Wordy said.

"But it is. You see I just realize that both scenarios happen. The first one when I got shot and now when Sam got shot. It wasn't unfinished business like Sam and I thought. It was my unconscious telling me I was scare. That I was scare of Sam. Wait, let me finish, not because he would hurt me, but because he wouldn't."

"What?"

"All this time I being scare because I love Sam too much. Because part of me realizes that I trust him with my life. That he could give me everything any women would love to have in a man. He could give me security, family and most all love. So I got scare. I got scare that I would lose myself. That I would lose everything I work for. That being in love would make me weak and then I couldn't hold my own in a man world. That I would get so needy, I would need him for everything. That why I blame him. I try to make excuses to cover that deep down I was just mad at myself for letting my guard down, for following my heart than doing the right thing and allowing myself to trust with it. Now he hurt because I realize it too late. He promised me that this time he was going to make it right. But he never made it wrong. He always being the one to make it right and take all my bullshit because deep down I knew he would take it. That he would always be there. That why he took the bullet today for me, even while I had the damn shield with me." I snap and cry my eyes off.

"I am sorry Jules." Spike said.

"We didn't know you guys were dealing with all that. We could have help as a team, but this time we make it right. And I don't want you to worry about that job." Greg said.

"Honestly, at this point I am not. I don't care about anything else but Sam and if he survives, I would live happily even if I lose my job because of this." I said and started a new round of tears.

"Calm down honey, we would get through this. And Sam would survive this just like you." Wordy said and handle me a tissue.

"I hope so." I said to myself. Sam can't die now, especially when I am carrying his child.


Please review. This is one of my favorite chapter. I love how Jules snap and talk to the team about what she being feeling. But most of all, it explain the real reason behind her nightmares. Again please review and tell me what you guys think.