Hey guys :)
Well, my apologies, I was planning on having this up at the same time as False Pretence's new chapter but it took a little more writing than I had planned. Even though it's short and I'm not completely happy with it I'm posting it for you to read with a critical eye.
As usual, any feedback will be appreciated. Remember, this was tibetan mastiff's idea, not mine. I'm just doing the writing!
On with the story, enjoy.
xx
"Go on Alex, open it." Nikita encouraged, the girl before her cautiously picking the envelope's seal and lifting one corner. Alex raised an eyebrow, clamping her teeth down on one side of her lip nervously. She felt like what was in there was some kind of hidden secret and she was sneaking around with something she wasn't supposed to know. Yet a quick reassuring nod from her mentor and she took a deep breath, pulling out the small stapled-together booklet of paper that was inside.
Before she could even get the chance to skim the words with her page, she instantly knew that it was official.
Nikita felt herself hold her breath too as Alex's baby blues skimmed down the page. She plaited together her fingers, busying herself for the few seconds that seemed like hours until the young Russian's eyes widened at what she was reading.
"Look, I know this will be a lot for you to take in – and I don't expect to get an answer from you any time soon, if you give me an answer at all. Just please mull it over and let me know when your..."
"Yes." Alex whispered, her eyes raising from the paper slowly. A bemused, yet unreadable look on her face as she spoke. Nikita stopped her ramble abruptly, pausing to meet Alex's gaze.
"What?" she whispered, unbelieving. "Alex, I..."
"Yes, I don't need any time to think – just yes." Alex whispered, the hand holding the paper quivering slightly, the vibration in her limbs not going unknown to Nikita.
"Are you sure?" Nikita whispered. Now that the realisation had hit her, she didn't quite know what to say. She had been thinking about Alex's reaction for weeks, she had played the situation over in her mind like a tape on repeat. Now someone had paused the recording, and left it on a scene that she hadn't envisioned at all. She had never begun to expect Alex to agree. The younger girl had been through so much in her short life, Nikita had been worried that it would be too much for her to take in all at once, after all they hadn't actually known each other for that long.
Alex nodded and before she knew it, Nikita had scooted over to her and pulled her into an all-too-tight embrace. The younger girl returned it, perfectly comfortable in the security that Nikita's arms provided. It was amazing how one person could give you so much reassurance without the need for any words. However when she spoke, her words were just as comforting.
"When you are inside Division's walls, I won't be there if anything goes wrong. I wanted you to be able to go in there with the reassurance that I'm always here, even if I cant get to you – Alex you are family to me and I wanted it to be official." Nikita was reluctant to let go, the realisation that Alex had just accepted her offer of adoption only just creeping under her skin. She couldn't help but crack a small smile, squeezing the girl in her arms just a little bit tighter. Ever since Daniel had died, she had been reluctant to let anyone else in. She was so scared of getting close to people, just for them to be taken away again. Then Alex had walked into her life, or should she say, crashed into her life and everything had changed. She felt closer to the other girl, perhaps more than she ever had with her deceased fiancé. Now she couldn't imagine life without her here and couldn't think about what it would be like to not be close to her.
It was now obvious, from her reaction, that Alex felt the same way. Nikita ran her hand gently down the other girl's back as she took a deep breath to speak;
"Ever since my family were murdered, I feel like I've been walking in circles. I've been so focused on myself and what my past holds that when you offered me the chance to get revenge for their deaths, told me I had something to live for, I threw myself head-first into all of this training and prep work for Division." Alex paused for a second, closing her eyes.
"You offered me the chance at a second life, a chance to make things right. You've taught me so much, how to fight, computers, surveillance and weapons. You've taught me how to survive in a world where all the odds are stacked against me."
Alex pulled away from the hug, Nikita still keeping one hand on her shoulder and brushing her brunette locks back with the other. She smiled, seeing the priceless look of contentment on her mentor's face.
"Now you've given me so much more. I didn't realise it, all those months ago when you turned my life around – but you were offering me a new family. Nikita thank you." she whispered, clutching the adoption papers tightly in a shaking-hand.
Nikita nodded, no more words being needed. For once, she felt like she had hit a break through. Life with Alex hadn't been easy since she had cleaned her up and started her training. Often, she had felt like the girl before her was unreachable, like she was fighting her so hard every step of the way. She had been met with reluctance, defiance and constant hardship. Yet she had seen Alex grow, she had seen her change. From the moment her own heart had skipped a beat at finding Alex motionless on the floor, an empty bottle of pills loosely in her grasp, to the moment where Alex had bettered her in her first sparring match she had persevered – and it had all paid off.
Yet a dark cloud still hung over everything. Once Alex was inside Division, no one could possibly know about this. This would just be one more secret for her to try and hide, her relation to Nikita would be enough to get her killed – perhaps even more than if Percy found out that she was an Udinov.
"Udinov-Mears. It has kind of a ring to it." Alex whispered, her eyes scanning the little dotted line at the bottom of the page, right where her rather unruly signature should go.
"Alex, listen to me a second." Nikita said; removing her hand from Alex's shoulder, standing up and walking a few paces away, her brow furrowing and her arms crossing over her chest in a formal manner.
Alex looked up from the page, knowing what Nikita was about to explain. Even through a happy moment, Nikita was always thinking of the bigger picture. She new what Nikita was offering would come with responsibility and Nikita's main objective was to try and keep her safe.
"I realise, that this is somewhat selfish of me." she said quietly, so that Alex had to prop forwards on her chair to hear the full sentence.
"What I have given you Alex, might be a gift and it might get you through some tough days inside Division but it doesn't take away the fact that this is completely against what my judgement is telling me." she paced forwards a little more, before turning around to face the younger girl.
"I wanted you to be a part of my family so much that I've overlooked the bigger picture and you are going to have to be even more careful in there."
"Nikita, don't worry – I wouldn't let anyone know who I am, or, who I'm becoming. I know it would get us both killed..." Alex whispered, she didn't see this as a burden at all. This was already giving her strength.
"I know you don't Alex, but Amanda and Percy, they aren't like anyone you've met before. Percy's lies and Amanda's head games are enough to turn anyone's minds inside out. They will try and get close to you, try to build up some kind of trusting relationship with you that will have you questioning your own objectives..."
"But I wont listen to them, I know what you've taught me..." Alex cut in quickly.
"That's my point Alex, what they do, what they say – it's believable. I believed it, hell I even saw Amanda as some kind of ally, friend even. They twist your minds and play on your feelings until you aren't sure who you even are any more. If they were to find out that your not just working with me, but been adopted by me, they wont stop until they have used you to get to me. I wouldn't want that for anyone, but definitely not for you." Nikita whispered, the look she was giving Alex made the younger girl shiver.
"I just want you to be prepared for what they will try and do. Life inside Division is like some sick game of cat and mouse and you are never in-expendable, no matter how good an agent you prove to be; if indeed you ever make it to agent." she added, dreading to think about some of the alternatives Division could have lined up in store.
"I'm ready for this Nikita." Alex sighed, standing up and carefully placing the documents on the table in front of her, before walking up to the older assassin slowly.
"It's now or never right? You've taught me everything you can to help me get through this – you've done everything in your power. Now it's up to me." she said quietly. She felt strangely confident. Amazing really, to say that she was just a few days away from walking into some kind of hellish prison to which there would be no exit. Not until she made the grade as a field agent and even then, she knew what she would have to do to earn that title.
"I just want you to feel like you can do this. Like you are sure it's not just going to add more weight to your shoulders. That's why I wanted you to think about it first." Nikita sighed, not that she was disheartened by Alex's reaction.
"I don't need to think about it. I can go into Division with a clear head. I know that so much of this has to rest on my shoulders, you cant do anything out here without my inside Intel. It's going to make things easier, even if they feel so much harder. I can rest easy knowing I have you on the outside to come back to when all this is over. Its a goal that I can actually look forward to after all of this." Alex smiled, placing her own hand on Nikita's folded arms.
"I'm just as much a Mears now as an Udinov – and Mears don't quit do they?" she whispered, catching Nikita's gaze. She saw the corners of Nikita's lips turn at her words, the faintest hint of a smile, still hidden behind a mask of worry. Deep down, she knew Nikita trusted her to see things through, but she also knew how much the other woman would hate leaving all the responsibility on her. All Nikita wanted was to keep Alex safe. Now it was a mutual goal.
"No they don't." Nikita replied quietly, brushing her hand back through Alex's hair lightly. She was going to miss her being here, it would seem quiet around here when she was gone – and that for her life was an achievement. She had never known her life to be quiet.
"Now come on, it's still my birthday right?" Alex said, trying to raise the cheer a little with a cheeky tone to her voice. Nikita nodded, wiping at her eyes.
"So now you remember." she answered sarcastically. Alex flashed her a smile before turning her back to hunt for a pen – she wanted to make this official as soon as possible.
Nikita followed her slowly. They didn't have very much time left together and she wasn't sure of the next time they would actually see each other. All she knew was, she was going to use the little time wisely. Alex was right, it was her birthday – it should be special and there was much to celebrate.
Not even Division was going to ruin today.
