The quiet was deafening. In the inner city a blanket of noise woven by late-night cars and endless construction had always covered his home's silence. But here, in the orphanage, there were only cicadas and the creaking of the old building as it settled. The groans that the house gave as it settled sounded like the footsteps of invisible giants. It made Kano nervous.
He laid on his side, staring at the door. Each creak made his heart leap and his fingers dig deeper into the bedsheets.
The nice lady who introduced him to the other kids had tucked him in a long time ago. She told him that, if he had any problems, he could come to her. The problem with that was he still didn't know his way around the orphanage… and he didn't want to be punished for wandering around after lights out. The most he could do was hide in bed and wait until morning as his stomach did gymnastics.
The door slid open. Kano's breath hitched, eyes widening. He started to duck beneath the blankets when the shadow at the doorway whispered loudly.
"Shuuya-kun? Are you here? It's Tsubomi."
It was the girl who called him a cat earlier that day. She leaned in, glancing around to make sure no one else was awake. Though it was dark, her smile shone through with ease. "Did I wake you up, Shuuya-kun?"
He peered at her from the safety of the blankets, peeved. What was she doing, sneaking around at night and scaring him? "I'm not Shuuya," Kano mumbled.
Tsubomi tilted her head. "… huh? But that's what Auntie called you."
"This isn't your room," Kano said, retreating deeper into his blanket cocoon. Tsubomi pressed her hand to her mouth, stifling a giggle.
"Kousuke saw something outside."
"Eh? Saw what kinda thing?"
Suddenly, Tsubomi was up in his face with a serious expression. Kano blinked, wondering if he said something wrong. She took his moment of puzzlement to grab his hand, tugging him out of bed with surprising force. "That's what we're gonna find out. You come too, Shuuya-kun!"
"Hey, hey, wait—!"
Resistance was futile. Tsubomi had a grip stronger than a crab's and the determination of a bull. She dragged him down the dark hallway with a purposeful march, only stopping to check for adults. Part of Kano wanted to jerk his hand free and run back to his room. He didn't want to get into trouble his first night here. But another part of him was curious about this mysterious… whatever it was that her friend had found.
"Where are we going?" he asked.
She smiled at him. "Out."
"What does that mean?"
"Shh, you'll see!"
They slipped into the laundry room. Kousuke was already there, crouched by the back door, barely visible with his white hoodie and hunched frame. When he saw Kano he shyly smiled. "The door's locked," Kousuke said.
"Where're the keys?"
Kousuke pointed up. The keys hung from a hook on the cabinet, high above their reach. Tsubomi finally released her iron grip on Kano's hand to stand on tip-toe. Regardless, her head couldn't reach the top of the washing machine. Puffing her cheeks out, Tsubomi stepped back with her hands on her hips. "We need something to stand on." She turned to Kousuke. "D'you think you can boost me up?"
"Uh, okay—"
"Wait," Kano blurted. "I can open it!"
Their eyes turned on him. Kano walked to the door and investigated the lock. It didn't seem so tough. He tilted it, so the keyhole was facing him, when he remembered that he was still in his pajamas. All his stuff had been in his hoodie's pockets.
"What're you going to do?" Tsubomi had popped up beside him, her chin resting on his shoulder. Kousuke leaned over on Kano's other shoulder, just as curious.
"You guys— you're heavy!"
Kousuke murmured an apology, but Tsubomi only leaned on him more. "It's locked up tight," she said matter-of-factly. "If Kousuke can't open it, you can't open it."
Kano grinned at that. "I bet I can. You got a pin?"
Tsubomi rummaged through her hoodie's pocket and retrieved a fistful of lint and some hairpins, dropping them into his hand. He fiddled with them, bending them into the right shape before wiggling them into the lock. After a few minutes of turning and teasing there was a soft click.
She clapped her hands together, delighted. "You are a cat! You know how to use your claws."
"Where'd you learn that?" Kousuke asked.
Kano shrugged. "I learned to back home," was all he said.
"You're teaching us later!" Tsubomi pressed her hand against the door. She looked at each of them in the face. "Ready?"
The last thing he saw out there before he'd been tucked in was an inky blackness, void and unfamiliar and scary. There were no neon signs, no cars, no anything to prove that something existed outside. It reminded him of small, dark rooms he didn't want to remember. He wasn't sure if he really did want to go outside. But he's gotten this far, right? And Tsubomi was with them…
Kano nodded, with Kosuke mirroring him. Tsubomi lifted her head high, returning their nods with the most solemn air.
They opened the door.
The night air, thick and humid, glowed with life. Everywhere he looked he could see streaks of gold swirling lazily. Kousuke slipped past them, hands already cupped around one of the lights. The shy boy had one of the biggest smiles Kano had ever seen as he cracked open his hands just enough to show what was inside. "Fireflies," Kousuke said.
Tsubomi whooped. She ran around with abandon, scattering the fireflies before her in a tizzy. Kano stared in wonder around him. The only lights he'd seen were the streetlamps, locked out behind dirty windows. He grabbed at some and missed. He reached out again, leaned forward, and before he knew it he was running with Tsubomi and Kousuke, laughing loudly as he tried to snatch the hovering bugs. Beneath the summer moon they leaped and shouted and tumbled, forgetting about everything save for the present bathed in gold.
The cicadas singing echoed in his ears like a welcome song as he fell onto the grass beside the other two, arms and legs spread out wide, a firefly in hand. He felt sweaty and relieved, the smothering oppression of the quietness banished. Beside him, Kousuke had shut his eyes, humming to himself. Tsubomi turned her head toward Kano, hands folded against her stomach.
"See? Aren't you happy I woke you up?"
"You want me to say yes, right?"
Tsubomi stuck out her tongue. "Say yes if you mean yes!"
"What if I don't say yes? What if I said no?"
"Then I'd say you're dumb for lying, because I saw you laughing."
The fireflies spun in the sky like stars. They watched them together in silence for a moment. Tsubomi broke the silence with: "Hey? Shuuya-kun?"
There she went, doing that again. "I'm not Shuuya. I'm Kano."
"Kano… but that's your family name, isn't it?"
Oh. He looked away. "Mom and Dad told me Shuuya meant I'd make 'em proud," Kano mumbled to the grass, hoping she wouldn't hear. "But they left me."
The firefly in his hand buzzed desperately, trying to escape. He watched it beat at the walls of its fleshy prison, his throat aching. He didn't cry back then. He won't cry now—if anyone saw him crying, they'd treat him like he was someone who they had to feel sorry for. He didn't want any of the kids or any of the adults to see him that way. He wanted to be strong.
Tsubomi reached over and put her hand over his. He looked up, surprised. The firefly escaped, twirling dizzily away. She smiled, her face as bright as the glowing clouds floating around them.
"It's okay. It doesn't matter if you're Shuuya or Kano—we'll still be your friends, even if you call yourself a different name!" Her hand was warm against his. She squeezed. "Promise."
Someone grabbed his other hand. It was Kousuke, with a sleepy smile. "We'll take care of you," he said.
Kano blinked rapidly, a smile of his own growing, his eyes stinging.
He'd been wrong. The orphanage wasn't scary at all, and the night wasn't so bad. He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling unafraid for the first time in a long time.
Hand-in-hand, the three drifted to sleep as the fireflies danced until morning.
