A/N: Next Chapter, this isn't so late is it? It's longer than usual and it shows some feelings I suppose, still touches of insanity since well, he wouldn't have gotten out normal but, I don't know, it's kind of less in this one, anyways, thanks for all the reviews! They're encouragement to me to continue, I'm really not sure how long all this is going to go for either...ah well, we'll get there when we get there I suppose. Anyway, Enjoy!

Warnings : Insainty and Sadness I think...

Disclaimer : Still do not own Harry Potter, Rowling would be a fool to give that marvellous series up...


I'm proud of myself; I now know more of my friend's names, Neville, Ron, Hermione and Ginny. Four more good people's names, soon they should outweigh the bad ones.

I know they've been having meetings though, about me, at night with Dumbledore, that stern looking woman, a man that looks like a giant or at least half of one, Sirius, the sickly looking man with shabby robes, a greasy headed man, Ron, Ginny, Neville, Hermione and weirdly Draco.

Tonight I was going to find out what they were saying about me, besides, it's a productive way to avoid sleep, a win-win situation. I've got more knowledge and avoiding sleep.

I crept down to the common room where they hold the meetings and hid behind a scarlet and gold curtain.

They all came in slowly, looking around suspiciously, if anyone had saw them and at first had no intention to follow them they would now, no idea how to be sneaky these people.

Finally the meeting started and I tried to focus mainly on the conversation forcing myself not to think.

"He seems to be more normal now, he's still staring of into space occasionally and singing a song about twinkling eyes but better than usual." Ron reported remembering the song I was singing earlier I suppose.

"Draco, I need to know what spells you used against Harry that night and if you could find out what other Death Eaters used to hurt him would be helpful." Dumbledore addressed Draco and he nodded, my thoughts began to wander again, why do they call them Death Eaters, they don't eat death, the live in it, constantly thriving in death, causing it, watching it, feeling it, they aren't Death Eaters if anything they're Death Fan's, I'm calling them that from now on, Death Fans.

The giant of a man spoke up next, "He still doesn't remember me, I thought he would by now but he doesn't. I want to kill the snake bastard." He growled and I drew further back into the hidden space in the curtains, would he kill me if he saw me here? He could, he does look like he could.

"Easy Hagrid," Dumbledore soothed, Hagrid, that's his name, if I knew him before this is where the usual embarrassing epiphany happens, no, okay then, "going after Lord Voldemort now would not be wise-," Dumbledore was cut off by the greasy haired man, "Why the hell not? It would be a perfect time to attack, he has lost some of his most loyal Death Eaters, forced out of his hiding place, he is weak, and this would be the perfect opportunity."

"So it seems Severus but you see, we have angered the man far too much already, while he would usually waste his time stalling, telling us his troubled childhood now he would simply kill on sight, no chance to even blink, we need to get him feeling confident again, over-confidence is his greatest weakness Severus." Dumbledore explained and I could see where he was coming from, Voldemort had been so confident that his hiding place at the Riddle house was secure he hadn't had all the right security, allowed Dumbledore and his small army into the area.

Hermione's sobbing suddenly filled my ears, what on earth was she crying about now? If it's about a homework score I might rip my hair out, "Hermione, you need to calm down, crying won't fix anything." The man in shabby robes soothed and Hermione nodded, yes, listen to that very wise man Hermione, crying most defiantly will not fix anything.

"I'm just so worried about him, I found silencing charms around his bed last night he was thrashing in his sleep, I thought once we got him back it would be all okay again, but it's not, I know he isn't sleeping, and I hate it when he zones out, his eyes get this haunted look, like he's relieving the worse things in the world and he probably is." Hermione choked, my mouth was hanging open, I was that obvious? Could she really tell I hadn't been sleeping? And how the hell did she get to my bed to find out about the silencing spells, or me thrashing about in my sleep.

"Well, we know for certain that he's eating, I don't think I've ever seen his plate with left overs on it." Ron joked and Hermione released a half sob half laugh.

"Did you see him when he came out of that room though?" Sirius questioned everyone shuddering, "his whole frame looked beaten down, not just physically like he'd come to believe he was all those things, and I was almost certain he'd gone blind." Sirius recounted looking down at the ground, "It was like the boy I saw before the tournament was gone, not the same, he was still brave but in a different way, the same with his will to live it was still there but for a completely different reason than before, I thought we'd lost Harry."

Tears were streaming down the strict looking woman's face but she didn't look so strict anymore, only broken, I wonder if she was close to me, what does she do, what's her name?

"There, there Minerva, it'll all be okay, Harry's slowly coming back to us I'm sure." Dumbledore smiled warmly at them all, Neville had stayed quiet through-out the entire meeting, neither had Ginny or Draco.

"I think we'll end tonight's meeting here, everyone needs some rest and a think, I believe we are all a bit emotionally unstable at the moment, getting Harry back as he is would take a toll on the strongest of men, please get some rest and think everything over before tomorrow." Dumbledore said getting up, the greasy haired man and the strict looking woman who still had tears streaming down her face also stood and left through the portrait hole, Sirius and the sickly looking man with shabby robes soon followed, Draco, Ginny, Neville, Ron and Hermione stayed back.

"How did you know about the spells around Harry's bed Hermione?" Ginny asked Hermione, I listened closely wanting to know the answer to this one as well; she shrugged and looked away from everyone awkwardly.

"I just wanted to check on him, check he was really there and I hadn't dreamt the past few weeks." Hermione muttered softly and Ron wrapped his arm around her shoulders pulling her in for a hug, she gratefully collapsed into it with stifled sobs.

"Have you spoken to your mother about all this yet Draco?" Neville's soft voice spoke up, looking at the emotionless Slytherin, he shook his head, why on earth would Draco's mother need to know all about this?

"You really should." Ginny whispered huskily, it sounded like she'd been crying, I felt bad since I was probably the reason, I was the reason for everyone's misery these days, they could be a bit happier but I suppose they don't know I'm watching.

"Why should I? She's not as good as protecting her mind against him as I am, it would only get both of us in trouble and if Father found out he wouldn't wait for the Dark Lord to scan his mind he would gladly tell him." Draco sneered, I forgot, Draco would be in a lot of trouble with his master if Voldemort found out about his betrayal, I've put more people in danger, great.

"We can help you; get you into hiding, you and your mother." Ron insisted, so Draco and Ron are friends, good to know, maybe I should store that information for later, what happened while I was gone?

"Oh yes, and go mad with boredom, or end up like Potters parent's besides what of my father, the bastard, no matter how clueless, will notice the disappearance of his wife and son." Draco laughed humorously, and Neville scowled.

"That only happened to Harry's parents because of a filthy traitor, and we can deal with your father, he is, no offence, a complete idiot." Neville pointed out and I beamed, go Neville! You have really grown into the lion name!

"None taken, look I've got to get back to my common room, Pansy's already getting suspicious but I've been feeding her lies about meeting up with Severus, and technically I have." Draco laughed again and got up stretching, "looking forward to pretending to hate you tomorrow Weasley's, Granger, Longbottom." Draco nodded to each person in turn then marched out of the common room fixing his cold, emotionless mask into place.

"We should go to bed; get some rest for tomorrow, school starts again doesn't it?" Ron asked Hermione who nodded absent-mindedly and trailed after Ginny towards the girls dormitories.

Neville and Ron walked up the staircase into the boys dormitories and I was left alone, I didn't have to worry about Ron or Neville looking into my bed and realising I'm not there as long as the don't look to closely, I used an old muggle trick and put some of my clothes in my place, enchanted them to twitch every now and then too.

I rested my head against the wall behind me and slid down to sit on the ground, so Draco's in trouble with his mother and father and Lord Voldemort for helping ME, Hermione and Ginny are crying because of ME, Voldemort's more on edge and even more dangerous because of ME, come to think of it he's back in a body because of ME. I've come to conclusion, I'm the problem here, and they rescued me hoping to fix their problems only to get more, that can't be right.

I'll try harder to be normal, no more staring into space, clear head, in control of all my thoughts, act like nothing happened and be more bloody secret about my silencing spells.

"Hermione! Ginny! Harrys not in his bed!" I heard someone from the boys Dormitories run down the stairs screaming, the two girls shot out of their rooms quicker than I could blink, Neville, Ron, Hermione and Ginny all met each other in the middle of the room, eyes wide and fearful and I let out an insane sounding laughter.

I was scared of bloody Hagrid, how on earth did I manage to be scared by Hagrid!