Hey, Hey, Hey!
Okay, so I am getting back on my fanfiction schedule. Love and Loss will be update every Friday, or at 1 am on Saturday morning. Enough with the small talk, let's start with the next chapter.
Previously on the Beginning of Love and Loss
Cece's POV
Tinka and Ty: Then it became all of Ty and Tinka's friends, and before I knew it the whole school basically hated me.
Gunther: But I am always wondering why. Why be nice to the person, who almost ruined your life? I said almost.
Rocky: This sucks, because I meant none of it, I was forced.
My Mom: …all I wanted to do was shake her and say 'THE ONLY REASON I DID THIS TO ROCKY WAS FOR YOU, I DID IT FOR YOU' but she wouldn't understand, no one would understand.
Oh and to whatever person who said, "If you love something, set it free, and if it's truly yours it will come back to you" I guess was not in high school.
Rocky's POV
And the thing is, is that times like these, all I want to do is just vent with Cece, but I can't. And that's the sucky part, because I miss her. And I watch her, looking at me and even though she is sitting there all alone, I am pretty sure she is having a better time than me.
Anonymous' POV
Wow doesn't this bring memories. My first day of tenth grade, this is going to be a ball of fun.
End of Recap
Rocky's POV:
This is the story. This is how all of this mess happened. This is why I am here.
I was walking the hallways, looking for Gunther. As I was turning the corner, the first thing I saw was Danielle, and Gunther. Which wouldn't surprise me, but the thing that was the worst about this time; they had their lips all over each other. It broke my heart to see them like this. I mean I thought I was the girl that Gunther was in love with, but I was wrong.
All I wanted to do was break down and cry, but I couldn't, I needed answers. I wanted to take a step forward, and to yell at Gunther for answers. But I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe. It was as if everything bad that has ever happened to me, just came back to me all at once. Cece and the notes, my friendships being broken and more.
But for some reason, this time it hurt more, probably because this time I didn't have Gunther telling me it was okay. He was too busy with Danielle for that.
Eventually I let out a gasp, which got Gunther's attention and you should have seen his face. It was a picture of half guilt and half no remorse. But the thing is I didn't like that picture. I wanted to rip picture, or at least paint over it. But that's the thing with reality, it's real.
It happened as if it was in slow motion. Gunther dropped everything he was doing and he ran over to me. He started to shake me, saying;
"Rocky, Rocky please let me explain!"
But I just stood there stoic, not being able to move. I couldn't do anything, for god sake's I couldn't even cry. You know it hurts to have your heart broken. But it happens, and I was just a victim. So then I turned around, shrugging Gunther's hands off of me, and I tried to leave. But he grabbed my hand.
I couldn't take it anymore.
'Is that even possible to still feel electricity run through your body, from a person who just broke your heart.' I thought. Then I built up enough courage and I said;
"How could you do this to me, Gunther? I loved you, soooo much, and you did this too me?" I said as he let go of my hand, and I walked away not even caring that he was calling after me. The many tears that were coming out of me were unbearable.
As I pushed opened the doors to the school, ready to leave, Cece bumped into me, she was dressed all in black, which did look good on her. She had bags under her eyes, as if she hadn't slept in days But then she said;
"I am so sorry Rocky." And before I could reply she put this heavy bag over my head, and she pushed me. I think it was into car or something. And then after about a minute or so; of silence. I felt this kick, it felt like when you are on a rollercoaster, when you drop. Then I had this sharp pain in my stomach, and then it felt like I was underwater. It was weird, I knew I could breathe, if I tried, but I didn't, I just lay there, thinking that dying was best.
"And then I woke up." I said as I turned to my shrink. Yeah, I have shrink, and I'm not crazy, but my parents thought it would be best if I got everything out. Which I thought was a terrible idea, because every single time I would leave, the shrink had this terrified look on his face.
And what's the whole point of shrinks? I mean all they do is listen to you talk about how terrible your life is, while they write fake notes on their notepad. But the biggest reason that I don't want a shrink is the fact that, when I say all these things that have happened to me, I realized that it isn't a dream anymore. More like a nightmare, which I just lived. Then I looked up at my shrink;
His name is Greg LaFȗe. He has short slicked back hair, and he always has these weird sweater vests on. Oh and also, his hands were always cold, and he always smelt like a hospital. And I am trying to say that it the nicest way possible. Then when he finally realized I was done talking, he said;
"Okay, so Raquel Blue, do you feel that any of these reoccurring dreams, could possibly happen?" Mr. LaFȗe asked me, which caught me off guard, since I never really thought of all of this actually happening.
Nobody's POV:
Rocky sat there uncomfortably, then she spoke up.
"Well, I guess it could happen…" Rocky said not being able to put her thoughts into words.
"Raquel, um, I mean Rocky. It's been a few months sense everything happened. Do you feel like your life has changed for the better?" Mr. LaFȗe asked.
"Well, I can't really say it's gotten better. First off, and I am not trying to sound self-centered or anything…"
"I don't judge." Mr. LaFȗe reassured her. Then Rocky continued;
"Well, it just that when all the bad things were happening to me, everyone cared. But now it's as if everything went back to normal, for the worst. I mean Gunther is basically ignoring me to go spend time with Danielle. And when it comes down to Deuce, Tinka, and Ty, they just went on with their lives. Which sucks, because all I want do is say; 'Hey, I'm still here, and I'm still hurting' but every single time I tried to say something, it was if my mouth wouldn't allow me. And Cece, well, with Cece, I feel bad, I mean she is my best friend in the whole entire world, well at least she was. And all the time I have this weird feeling that Cece didn't do it." Rocky said baffled that she actually said what was truly on her mind.
MR. LaFȗe looked at little uneasy, but then he cleared his throat and said;
"Well, Rocky let's not get stupid here. Cece did all those bad things to you, and you can't forget it." Mr. LaFȗe said quite harshly, so then Rocky just stood up and said;
"Um, well I guess I should go then." Rocky said shyly before walking out of the room.
"Rocky wait!" Mr. LaFȗe said trying to run after her, but she was already gone.
Rocky's POV
After I ran out of the building, I looked at the crumpled piece of paper that I had been hiding in my hand, it said;
Dear Raquel Blue,
I'm back. Well, you already knew that, I mean I have been sending you notes all summer. This is going to be quick.
It's time.
Love Always
Anonymous
After reading that I shed a tear, but then I continued to run, knowing what I had to do.
Nobody's POV:
"Rocky wait. Ha ha. It's weird, I don't know if you actually care, or your just really good actor." An anonymous voice said coming out of the shadows.
"Their just kids, they don't deserve this." Mr. LaFȗe said, trying to make an attempt to stand up to anonymous.
"Well, I am just a kid, but Rocky Blue. She did something unbearable to me, she killed someone very important to me. And look whose talking; the guy who has been watching over Rocky all of these years. I wonder how she would feel if she knew who you really are." Anonymous said turning from sad, to angry quickly.
"No, please you can't tell her, we had a deal." Mr. LaFȗe said desperately.
"Yeah we did have a deal. You weren't going to develop feelings for her again, and now look where we are." Anonymous, said playing with a picture of Mr. LaFȗe's family.
"You know I wonder what they would say if they found out that their perfect father, and perfect husband, fell in love with a minor, huh. Yeah, it would suck." Anonymous said walking closer to Mr. LaFȗe.
"So let's get this straight, you either stop whatever is happening with your stupid feelings. Or everything comes out, and you will spend the rest of your life in jail." Anonymous said, as it started to walk away from the scared shrink's room.
"See, this is why I hate you pawns. You all think that you can beat me, beat the game. Well newsflash, I BUILT the game. Oh and Mr. LaFȗe, I think you should change your name again, maybe back to Blue, it suits you." Anonymous said before walking away.
Gunther's POV
I was walking around with Danielle. Then I realized;
"Yo Danielle, where's Rocky?" I said not knowing where my girlfriend was, or at least I think she is still my girlfriend. See we haven't really had the best of timing.
I mean first we hated each other for years. Then when I finally got my feelings in order, I decided to tell her how I felt, and then they whole Cece, and the notes deal happened. After that was all over, we finally got together, but over the summer Rocky became distant. She always said that she was busy, or she didn't feel like it. But my theory is that there's nothing left. I mean think about it, the thing that brought us together was my protection over her with the notes, and now there are no more notes. And as much as I didn't want to, I tried changing my style, and my accent. Hoping that she would finally notice me again, and love me. But she didn't and she doesn't, so I started hanging out with Danielle.
And I know everyone thinks I have been cheating on Rocky, but I'm not, I would never. But I get lonely; think about it, a grown boy being lonely. But it's true, Tinka has Ty, and I have nobody. And then I started to hang out with Danielle. At first Rocky just looked annoyed by her, but now she looks like I am betraying her. When I have done nothing.
Oh girls ARE SO CONFUSING!
"Oh, I think I remember her saying something about going to her shrink." Danielle said while smacking on her gum which was painfully annoying.
"I didn't know she was going to her physiologist today?" I said not really liking the word shrink.
"Ha, I didn't *smack* know *smack* she had a shrink. *smack* I mean what kind of freak needs a shrink? *smack*" Danielle said and with all the smacking and rude comments, it made me want to smack her.
"For your information Danielle, going to a physiologist could be very helpful to some people." Gunther said while standing up, before continuing.
"You know I don't even know why I hang out with you; I mean I have better things to do, like hangout with my girlfriend Rocky Blue." I said kind of overreacting, but it felt right like in those romantic comedies. And with that, I was off hoping to go and talk to Rocky about some important matters.
After a few minutes of running, I kind of decided to walk, mostly because I was tired. As he was turning around the corner approaching Rocky's physiologist's practice, I bumped into someone. It was Rocky.
"Rocky, I was looking for you." I said breathlessly from my brief but tiring run.
"What Gunther? Did you come to tell me that you have to reschedule to hang out with Danielle?" Rocky said before starting to walk away. But I grabbed her arm, and turned her around.
"What? No Rocky. I love you and only you." I said trying to get her attention, but she looked like her mind was somewhere else.
"Look Rocky, I want to be with you. I know I haven't been showing it the most lately, but let me show you, let me take you out on a date." I said never actually realizing that I could lose Rocky. Then she looked up at me and said;
"Gunther, I needed you, and you weren't there for me and-"Rocky said but I cut her off.
"Rocky you can't keep saying that. The notes stopped months ago, and we have to move on." I said knowing that it wasn't the best thing to say.
"Yeah you're right Gunther, we should move on." Rocky said which made me smile. But then she walked away, which broke my heart. She couldn't just leave. I needed answers. I wanted to turn around and to yell at her for answers. But I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe. It was as if everything bad that has ever happened to me, just came back to me all at once.
"So that's it? Were done?" I called after her not being able to process it.
Rocky's POV
I wanted to just break down and cry, but I turned around and said;
"We had to move on eventually Gunther, we couldn't keep pretending like there was anything still there. Like we still had that same feeling for each other." I said before walking home. At one point of my walk Gunther ran up to me and said;
"Rocky… but we do love each other right?" Gunther said, and looked like he had been crying, but I just kept walking.
I cried the rest of the way, and you know like in those movies, how the boy, no matter what always runs after the girl, well this time he didn't. When I got home, Ty realized that I was crying, and he tried to see what was wrong with me. But I just kept walking…and then I locked myself in my room.
And here I am, in my room crying my heart out.
(A/N: Do you realize the beginning of this chapter and this part goes together?)
"Rocky don't feel bad, you had to." Cece said coming around, sitting by me.
"Well at least I still have you, the only thing that I'm not going to lose." I said looking at Cece.
"Yeah, it sucks but now you know how I felt all this time. Not being able to tell anyone is unbearable. But this is something we have to do to protect the ones we love." Cece said patting my back.
"Yeah, but why does it have to hurt so much?" I managed to say through my tears.
"Rocky, we know what we did, and now we have to pay for it." Cece says while standing up, and I stand up, and look her in the eyes.
"Yeah, but I didn't do it. I'm being framed."
What? Rocky knows! What does she know? Okay so either this was the most confusing chapter you have ever read or it was one of the most genius chapters you have ever read. And I just want to say that if you understood this, you just understood one of the changing factors of this story. If you have any, please ask questions. And I really hoped you like it.
