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Previously:
"You ready to go?" Jasper asked from beside me, while my eyes were closed.
"Yes." I said, as I opened them with a new purpose.
Now:
"So, where to?" Jasper asked me as we left the driveway and walked until we came to an intersection.
"Anywhere." I responded while continuing to walk towards Olympic National Park. I came here to read for hours, before I met Edward, that is.
"Right." Jasper said, with confusion. I didn't pick Jasper for any specific reason besides the fact that I didn't want to go with Edward. That would've been a disaster.
I pulled out my iPod that I barely ever use and put it on shuffle while picking a random song. 'Someone Like You' by Adele played through the earphones and I almost dropped my device. This is not the kind of song that I would want to hear right now, and yet I didn't changed the song. My finger hovered over the 'skip' button but after about twenty seconds, the screen's backlight shut off, locking the iPod. I just let the song play and soon found myself humming the lyrics. Eventually I began subconsciously singing the song. My eyes began to water as I realized that I'd never find someone as good as Edward. He was almost too good to be true. Then again, he left me so what do I do now? I have no one to turn to. No one to confide in. No one to help me get over this. But when I think about it, did I really want to get over Edward? I don't know. I truly don't know.
As the song ended, we entered the park. And there were kids everywhere. It would've been terrifying had I not known that it would be like this before I decided to come here. I looked around for my usual spotted under the beautiful oak tree and smile brightly when I saw that the area around it was secluded. I walked to the tree and sat under it having flashbacks to when I used to sit under this same tree when I first came to Forks. I've cried here and rejoiced at many different periods of time. This peace that I felt whenever I came here, this serenity, it was all mine. No one, not even Edward, could take this from me. Forgetting Jasper, I grabbed my book from my bag and began reading Wuthering Heights, beginning where I left off.
Lost into the world of Heathcliff, Catherine and Edgar, time became an insignificant thing to keep up. After what felt like minutes later but was probably an hour at most, I looked up to see the park deserted and the sun setting. How long had I been reading? I thought about retrieving my cell phone from my purse to check the time, but my breath caught in my chest at the sight before me. The sun was setting over the lake next to the park and the sight was … purely amazing. The orange glow of the suns blaze casted a variety of colors to splash across the lake. The deep blue of the ocean contrasted greatly with the bright hues mixed in the suns glare. Eventually, I remembered the task at hand. Time. I reached into my bag and pulled out the small cellular device from the pocket compartment on the side. Pressing the power button lit up the screen and displayed the time in bright white colors. It clearly read 7:16 p.m. my eyes widened but I didn't make a sound. Where's Jasper? I asked myself as if I knew the answer. I looked around and found Jasper sitting on the bench located a few feet away from me. He was staring at the sunset also. But he looked like he was struggling with something. I dispelled that thought, realizing that I should be getting back to the Cullens' mansion.
"We should be heading home. Edward probably is getting worried." Jasper said suddenly, pulling me from my thoughts of the same conclusion. I nodded slightly to indicate that I had heard. Sighing, I stood up from my spot of confront and stepped back into reality. Stupid reality. I began walking in the direction of my temporary home with Jasper close on my right side.
"Bella. Can I ask you a question and get an honest answer?" Jasper asked me.
"Sure." I responded with nervousness and a little curiosity.
"What's the reason behind your pain? How do you deal with it? Because sometimes I have to leave the house due to your depression. Though you try to suppress it, I can still feel it." I almost tripped over air when he said that he could feel my pain. Why should someone else suffer because of me? Guilt began to settle in my already dead heart but he stopped it before I can recognize it.
"Bella, please don't blame yourself. Whatever the reason is, I'm sure you didn't cause it yourself." He tried to help but I knew the truth. I should've been good enough for him. I should've been prettier or less of a klutz all of the time.
"Your emotions… they keep changing but they remain within the same range. Depressed. Worthless. Guilt. Self-Loathing. Regret. Sadness. And pain. Lots of pain. Why?" He listed everything that I was feeling, making me feel even worse.
"Because I wasn't enough." I just barely answered with a whisper as we walked up to the door of his home. He took this as a hint that the conversation was over.
I used my key to open the front door and slowly glided through the passageway. Jasper locked the door behind me and it reminded me of the booming slam of steel gates in prison. Sitting my purse on the small stool next to the table. As I turned, the first thing that I saw was a very worried Edward with his head in his hands as he slouched over, sitting on the couch. His head shot up when I looked at him, like we caught him off guard or something, which was close to impossible since I stumbled over the stairs to get into the house. I was halfway expecting him to rush out and catch me, but of course that didn't happen.
He sighed, relieved. I looked at my watch. 7:58 p.m. Really?
"You're okay…" He exhaled.
"Yes, why wouldn't I be?" I asked, confused. Was there any danger?
"Because you've been gone for hours and you haven't called. I just thought that…" Leaving the end of the sentence for my imagination, he ran a shaking hand through his hair.
"Well, I'm fine." Physically at least. I began quickly pacing towards the staircase and all of a sudden it seemed like a mile-long run. When I finally got to the stairs Edward called my name.
"Bella."
"Yes, Edward?" I responded and turned to see anxiety plastered on his face. His usually-gold eyes were darkening with sorrow. I didn't understand what would cause him to become so troubled. If I was in danger, I'm sure I wouldn't still be here.
"Can I talk to you for a second?" He asked and fear began to grow from somewhere deep within me. But what was there to fear? I've known Edward for months and I'm more than sure he wouldn't hurt me. Of course, he wouldn't intentionally hurt you. My conscience to me. But he's oblivious to the pain that even his presence brings. I agreed with…uhh…myself. Edward wouldn't physically hurt me. But my heart was what I was worrying about? But throughout the one-sided monologue, my question remained unanswered. Why did he want to talk to me?
"Yes." I replied and sat on the long white couch, suddenly afraid to get it dirty somehow. He sat next to me, a bit too close for my liking but I didn't move though my body reacted by tensing on its own. Of course, he noticed and moved over the slightest inch. I relaxed knowing that he wasn't close enough for me not to focus on what he was going to say next.
But before he got the chance to say anything there was a knock at the door. I decided to get it since Esme was in the back tending to the beautiful garden. Right when I was about a foot away from the door, it literally flew off the hinges. In that split second, I felt a throbbing pain in my right shoulder. The force of the door slamming into the right side of my body knocked me off of my feet and onto the small wooden table that held my purse. Then, my torso began to ache with unbearable pain to the point where I couldn't even looked down to see what was wrong with it. The last thing that I heard before I blacked out was a feminine voice, giggling from the doorway.
"Knock, knock…" Her laughter caused fear to course through my body and I passed out.
