The Trick To Not Falling In Love
Chapter 2
"The trick is...don't fall in love. I did that trick quite a lot, sometimes twice a day."
The story of how Clara Oswald had to use that trick to stop herself falling in love with the Doctor...and how it didn't quite go to plan.
It had haunted me a bit, what Emma had said when we went ghost hunting. It was about a week after the Russian submarine incident and the Doctor said there was a haunted house in 1974 which he just had to check out. I'd been a bit sceptical, of all things. I don't believe in ghosts, never have done. But when we went there and I saw one for real, it was enough to put me off scary movies for a long time. However, it turned out to be a time traveller suck in a pocket universe which I guess makes it all a little less unnerving.
Anyway, back to my chat with Emma. She was the psychic who was assisting the ghost hunter and owner of the house, Alec. I'd been having some girl talk with her whilst the Doctor and Alec were off doing boring sciencey stuff…which is not really my forte.
I'd been pointing out to her how obvious it was that her and Alec fancied the pants of one another, but they were both too shy to make a move. There was obviously huge amounts of chemistry between them and I kind of found myself jealous that nobody ever looked at me the way Alec looked at Emma.
It was once I'd tried to convince her of this the conversation turned to me.
"So what about you and the Doctor?" Emma had asked.
I'd be lying if I said this question didn't play on my heart strings a bit. Because I knew this could never happen. He's an amazing timelord with a time machine and I'm just a boring human from Earth. He wouldn't ever see me like that in a million years, which is why I surprised myself when I answered with a, "Oh, I don't think so..."
'Definitely not' should have been the answer to that question. Not an indefinite I'm not sure. Thinking over my own stupidity didn't last for long, as I was stunned when Emma answered with, "Good."
Good? She was glad we weren't together? What would be so bad about us being together?
"Sorry?" I found myself asking.
Her voice turned cold. "Don't trust him. There's a sliver of ice in his heart."
This had sent a shiver down my spine. Don't trust him? Ice in his heart? She was talking about the man I trusted with my life, the man that was over protective and would do anything to keep me safe…or so I thought. Coming from Emma, who by what the Doctor said was an extremely powerful psychic, this was obviously beginning to make me weary of him.
I'd been thinking about what she'd said the past few days, each night before I went to sleep. I laid there in my room on the TARDIS, tossing and turning trying to make sense of it all. You see, I'd decided not to go home for the next few days. I'd told the Doctor I wanted a few nights off from having the trauma of trying to get Angie and Artie into bed at a reasonable time and it would be nice to have a mini break. I tried to force myself to believe that this wasn't just an excuse to spend even more time with him, but I knew it was.
He'd answered with a comical "Your wish is my command." And made up a room for me next to his.
No. I decided. She's wrong. The Doctor is a lovely, caring man. All he aims to do is save people's lives, there wouldn't be ice in his heart. There wouldn't be a reason not to trust him.
Uh-oh, time to use that trick again. I felt myself feeling all fuzzy inside as usual. This was a feeling I was beginning to feel far too often for my liking. I must not fall in love.
-x-
It was 2 days after the haunted house when I woke up in the TARDIS with a sudden jump. Before I'd gone to sleep that evening I'd been thinking all about what Emma said, but when I awoke I felt exhausted. Absolutely exhausted. I checked the TARDIS clocks to see that it was 10am. I'd been asleep for 12 hours…so why was I so shattered? I used my hands to lift myself up to a sitting position and was surprised when one of them felt extremely sore, like a burn. Damn. I'd thought. I must have caught it on the oven when making a soufflé in the TARDIS kitchen yesterday. I checked the palm of my hand for a red wound but nothing was there. The pain suddenly went away too…but I thought nothing of it.
Tired, so tired. I got out of bed and stretched but I could hardly keep my eyes open. This was strange. I decided, because the day before I'd spent the whole time lazing about the TARDIS making soufflés and reading in the library. Not exactly running down corridors from aliens.
I'd opened my door to go to the bathroom and have a shower when I instantly bumped into the Doctor. He looked flustered and embarrassed. Wait…had been spying on me?
"Oh, hello Clara…I was just…um…making sure you were okay. I was about to knock on your door when you came out. Lucky timing."
I gave him a funny look. "And why wouldn't I be okay? It's not like you have zombie creatures running around in here, is it?"
He'd looked at me nervously.
"Doctor, what is it?"
"Oh. Nothing, nothing."
"Have you been waiting out here for me to come out?"
"No…no! As I said, lucky timing."
I'd given him a sceptical look. "Okay then…I'm going for a shower now. But don't think you can come and wait outside the shower curtain for me, mister. There's such a thing as being too keen."
The Doctor blushed such a bright shade of crimson he was almost glowing. I always make little suggestive comments like that to tease him. Can you blame me? The reaction I get is always hilarious.
The Doctor became even more flustered. "What?! No…no! I wouldn't…I wasn't…I'm not…oh shut up!"
I'd laughed and walked away from him to the bathroom. It was just too easy.
Once I had finished my shower and gotten dressed, I'd walked into the console room with a towel over my shoulder to see the Doctor cleaning the TARDIS with a cloth. I walked around the console to where he was standing, but suddenly felt a wave of fatigue pass through me.
"I feel exhausted." I'd explained. "I feel..."
"We've had two days crammed into the space of one." He interrupted, playfully whipping my bum with his cloth. This made me giggle a little. Wait, Clara, did you enjoy that?
"Why would you say that?"
"I don't know. I say stuff. Ignore me."
I began to walk back over to the stairs where I'd emerged from, leaving him to finish his cleaning. I was about to go down when I heard the Doctor's voice. "Do you feel safe?"
I turned around to look at him. "Course."
"Give me a number out of ten." He continued. "Ten being woo hoo!...One being...augh!"
I sighed. This was a sign of the Doctor being over protective again. Of course he cares about me, Emma. of course I can trust him.
However, this was a bit out of the blue. "You're being weird."
"I need to know if you feel safe. I need to know you're not afraid." The Doctor walked right up to me but I made no attempt to move back and give him space. In fact, I came forward. We were so close and I was looking into his eyes, then to his lips. "Of?"
"The future. Running away with a space man in a box. Anything can happen to you."
My lips turned up into a smile. Anything? "That's what I'm counting on."
We were still gazing into each other's eyes, which maybe we'd been doing a little too long. I'd been so close that all I could think about was 'I could reach up and kiss him right now'. However, I suddenly snapped out of it and nodded towards the console to break the eye contact. "Push the button."
The Doctor grinned at me before running to his console to fly us to our new destination. I walked to my room and when I got there I fell back onto my bed. Had I been flirting just then? Yes. Had I wanted to kiss him? Also, yes.
I'd groaned and rolled onto my front, burying my head into my pillow. The trick to not falling in love was proving to be a lot harder than I first thought.
*A/N: Sorry I made you guys wait so long for this chapter! It's a little short but I promise the next one will be longer and it should be up in the next couple of days!
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thanks for reading.*
