The Trick To Not Falling In Love
Chapter 4
"The trick is...don't fall in love. I did that trick quite a lot, sometimes twice a day."
The story of how Clara Oswald had to use that trick to stop herself falling in love with the Doctor...and how it didn't quite go to plan.
It was stupid of me really. I should have known that an alien planet, plus the Doctor and two kids was going to end us in a heap of trouble. The Doctor at this point, was currently playing a chess match against a cyber-thingy inside his head, whilst I was trying to stop the military from blowing up the planet. Oh, and the kids were in a walking coma. Brilliant.
When we'd arrived it turned out it was the wrong time period and the theme park had closed down. This meant that we could only take the kids on one ride which a little man called Porridge had kindly set up for us.
After the ride, we were about to go home when the Doctor said he saw funny insects and wanted to stay a bit longer to investigate. So we sent the kids to sleep in the museum whilst I went and talked to Porridge and the Doctor went running around looking for metal bugs.
But Angie being Angie went for a walk about when the Doctor and I specifically told her not too. This resulted in her being caught by a Cyberman that appeared out of nowhere and leaving Artie alone so he got caught by one too.
The Doctor then went to go and find them, but ended up getting this Mr Clever Cyberman in his head. He then decided to have a chess match to see who could win his entire brain. We had to escape from the Cybermen that were coming so locked ourselves in an old comical castle whilst the Doctor played himself at chess to save our lives…and the odds were not looking good.
This meant I was now in charge of the whole military platoon that occupied the planet with absolutely no idea what I was doing. On top of this, the 2 children which my job is to look after were unconscious being controlled my cyberbrains. Could this day get any worse? For me, it was about to.
-x-
I was given the planet destroying bomb trigger thingy to look after, as I was in charge. The Doctor had given me one instruction 'Don't let them blow up the planet.' And so far, it was going surprisingly well.
I was outside having some soup with Porridge when I heard the Doctor call for me from inside of the castle. "Oi, Clara!"
I sighed. "I'll see what he wants. Call me if there's any change."
I'd walked back into the castle to see the Doctor leaning over his chess board grinning. "Hey Clara! There you are! Now, quick rundown. What's our weapon strength?"
I walked over to the children and waved my hand in front of their eyes at any chance to wake them up. If the Doctor couldn't fix this, I didn't know what I'd do. The children are George's world. If they died, it would be all my fault. I couldn't live with that.
"One big gun, five of those hand pulsar units and a shiny black bomb that implodes the planet." I replied, walking up to the table he was sitting at.
"Yeah…yeah that one. Now, tell me. Does it happen possibly to have sort of a remote triggery thing?"
I lifted it out of my pocket to show him carelessly.
"Brilliant, pass it here." He said, trying to grab it out of my hand.
Suddenly instinct told me giving it to him was a bad idea so I'd pulled it away. "No!"
"Why not?" The Doctor grumbled.
"In case you're not you right now. Or even if you are, just in case."
"Oh, don't worry…The cyber planner is hibernating in between moves right now." He held his finger to his mouth. "Shh!"
I glanced around the room suspiciously before leaning forwards onto the table so I could look him directly in the eyes. Even with a cyber-wotsit in his head he still had the most striking eyes. No, Clara, don't think like that. Use the trick.
"Prove you're you. Tell me something only the Doctor knows." To be honest, I wasn't sure what I'd expected his answer to be. I looked into his eyes challengingly. If this was the cyber planner, I really had got him stuck.
He took a deep breath and paused. Ha. I thought, raising my eyebrows at him. He doesn't know what to say. He's stuck, this must be…
"Clara." He began, his voice turning soft. "I suppose…I'm the only one who knows…how I feel about you right now."
My eyes widened slightly and butterflies fluttered in my stomach. What? Feel about me how? Is The Doctor going to say what I think he's going to say? No Clara. Don't be stupid. He'd never think about you like that…
"How funny you are. So funny."
Our faces were getting close now. My eyes were locked on his and all I could think about were the words coming out of him mouth.
"How pretty." My heart skipped a beat and a smile spread across my lips. He thinks I pretty? The Doctor thinks plain old me is pretty? I'd gazed at him like an idiot in love. Is he about to tell me he has feelings for me!?
"And…the truth is…I'm starting to like you in a way that is more than just…" He closed his eyes and moved his face closer to mine, pouting his lips. Oh my stars, he's about to kiss me. My heart started racing. He feels the same way?
But it was then reality kicked its way back into my stupid head. This isn't really him, Clara. He'd never admit his feelings like this, not in a million years.
Feeling slightly embarrassed by the fact the cyber planner had made me feel so giddy, I pulled away and used my free hand to slap him across the face…for the second time that day.
"Ow!" The Doctor exclaimed, snapping back into position. "Ow! Ow! Yes! Ah, it's me!"
I'd given him a confident smile and nodded.
"That really hurt. How did you know that was him?!"
I leaned closer again to study his expression. "Because even if that was true…which it's obviously…not. I know you well enough to know you would rather die than say it, finish your stupid game-"
I went to point the trigger at him mockingly, but the cyber planner snapped back and grabbed my wrist harshly.
"Ah, ow. Doctor, let go." I grimaced. He was gripping so tight I could feel pain surging all the way up my arm.
"I can't!" The Doctor said helplessly. "He's got control of the left arm!"
"Ah! Argh! Arghh!" He yelled. The Doctor's strength became too much pain to handle and I stupidly let the trigger go, letting him crush it to dust.
I stepped back and looked at him worriedly. "Doctor?"
"Nah, he got what he wanted. With the trigger. He destroyed the trigger…my move."
"What do you mean he got what he wanted?" I began to step back as the Doctor lifted his head, suddenly with an evil glare in his eyes. This definitely wasn't the Doctor. "He means good news, boys and girls. They're here!"
I'd then ran out the room, partly in fear and partly because I felt like an idiot. I'd let the cyber planner completely manipulate my emotions. He'd stabbed me in the heart and enjoyed every second of it.
-x-
He'd done it. Well, the Doctor always manages to win in the end. We were sat in Porridge's spaceship in orbit, watching as the planet exploded into a million pieces. The Doctor had defeated the cyber planner and safely gotten back both of the children. I couldn't be more thankful. Well…he couldn't have done it without help from Porridge. The lonely emperor. I guess he'd been the hero here too.
As the planet disintegrated before us. Porridge told us about why he hid from the authorities.
"That's what happens when you're emperor. Loneliest job in the universe." Porridge sighed.
I looked up at him from where I was sat further down the steps of a podium to where he was standing at the top. "You don't have to be lonely."
The Doctor smiled at me.
"I don't." Porridge agreed. He turned towards me and knelt down on his knee. "Clara, will you marry me?"
"What?" I asked, utterly, completely, stunned. Had I just received a marriage proposal from an emperor of a thousand galaxies?
"He said-" Artie began.
"She heard what he said." Angie interrupted.
"You're smart and beautiful." I felt my heart warm a little. He thinks I'm beautiful? "And I've never met anyone like you before. And being emperor won't be as hard if you're by my side. And you'd rule a thousand galaxies."
I'd stared at him with my mouth open a little. I had no idea what to say.
The Doctor quickly skipped over to where Porridge was sitting to butt in as usual. "This sounds like an actual marriage proposal…tricky. Now if you want my advice-"
"You, not one word." I interrupted. "This is between me and the…emperor." The Doctor backed away acting as if he wasn't bothered, leaving me to talk to Porridge.
"Porridge…" I sighed. Even though this had been a lovely proposal from what seemed to be the king of the universe…there was no way I could have accepted. I couldn't accept because I wasn't in love with Porridge, nor would I ever be. So I let him down in the gentlest way I thought possible. "I don't want to rule a thousand galaxies…"
I felt guilty as he looked down at his lap disappointed. "Yeah…silly of me."
"I'm really sorry."
"But that's stupid!" Angie exclaimed from beside me. "You could be queen of the universe! How can you say no to that? When someone asks you if you want to be queen of the universe you say yes!"
I'd raised my eyebrows at her. This was typical Angie.
"You watch. One day, I'll be queen of the universe."
We all chuckled and Porridge made a joke about executing us before we made our way back to the TARDIS. I'd said goodbye to Porridge with a salute before following the Doctor and the kids.
You see, I didn't care about not being queen of the universe. Not one bit. I'd give up everything to stay with the Doctor in his mad blue box…because he's the universe to me.
-x-
"Thanks Clara." Artie called as he and Angie bounded out of the TARDIS. "Thanks Clara's boyfriend."
I walked over to the Doctor who was leant against the side of the console facing the TARDIS' doors. I'd half expected him to freak out at being called my boyfriend, but to my surprise he just smiled and went along with it.
"Thank you Doctor." I said once both the kids had left.
"For what?"
"Kids day out, getting us off the planet alive, whatever you were doing with the cybermen…"
I looked up at him and beamed and we spent a moment looking into each other's eyes. The Doctor looked cute when he smiled like that, eyes glittering with wonder. I would have done anything to have stayed there with him, but nannying duties called.
After a long but pleasant pause I finally said "Goodnight." Before walking to the TARDIS doors myself. "See you next Wednesday!" We'd agreed on a week's time for our next trip, as with various things going on with the kids they had already booked up the next 7 days.
"Well a…a Wednesday. Definiately. Next Wednesday, last Wednesday…" He rambled humorously.
I smiled at him one last time before shutting the door on him and then walking into the house. I entered to see that Angie had already occupied all her attention to her new mobile phone and Artie had already begun playing on his xbox.
"Come on guys, time for bed!" I ordered.
"But it's the last week of the Easter holidays!" Angie moaned. "Dad always lets us stay up later during the holidays."
I sighed. "Go on, you can stay up in your rooms. But I'm tired. I want to go to bed!"
An hour later after finally getting the children into their bedrooms, I got into my own bed and let my head fall onto the pillow. My mind danced around all the memories I'd gained that day. Shooting a Cyberman, leading a military platoon, getting proposed to by an emperor of a thousand galaxies. That was quite a lot think about.
But the one memory that seemed most prominent in the front of my mind, was the one that pulled my heart strings and frustrated me deeply. The cyber planner telling me I was funny, I was pretty, that the Doctor had feelings for me. I knew I was thoughtless, momentarily falling for his lies. But the reason I did, was because I had so badly wanted them to be true. I was hoping and hoping that it was really him, that he was admitting to me how he really felt. But of course, it was just the cyber planner telling me what he knew I wanted to hear.
The emperor had called me 'Smart and beautiful', but that meant nothing compared to anything that could leave the Doctor's mouth. And why was this?
I'd tossed and turned in my bed, angry with myself. Use the trick, Clara. I thought. Don't fall in love. But as I lay there, I knew it was just too late. You can only use a trick so many times before the magic wears off and that was just what had happened to me.
When I was stood listening to Mr Clever I realised that I had fallen in love. I'd spent so long trying to stop myself but it had been no use in the end. It was him with his silly chin, his flailing limbs and his snog box. Mad, totally mad. But brilliant and perfect and…maybe a little bit handsome too. How could I not fall in love with a man like that? It would be impossible.
Now all that I could do to make sure I didn't ruin our friendship was to hide away those feelings and never let them show. I'm his friend, his companion and it would kill me to lose that. He'd never think about me in any other way. If he found out how I felt it would destroy our relationship forever.
My Mum once told me that falling in love is a bit like making a soufflé. With the precise ingredients, the perfect chemistry, lots of care and the right amount of time to cook you can make something beautiful. But if one of these falters and it all goes wrong, don't waste your time trying to saviour a rotten soufflé. The soufflé isn't the soufflé. The soufflé is the recipe.
*A/N: More reviews would be great! Had some time on my hands this evening so quickly wrote up another chapter for you guys. 2 more chapters to go on this fic, already thought up an idea for my next fic too :)
any comments leave in the review box, follows and favourites greatly appreciated. thanks for reading :) x*
