Spoilers: Eventually up to the end of Season 5.
Disclaimer – I don't own any of these characters *AM is a genius. These are Marlowe's characters and ideas.
I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, but here goes nothing anyways :)
Summer of Healing
Part 1
"Don't leave me, please. Stay with me. Ok. Kate, I love you. I Love you Kate."
Ambulance.
Hospital.
Fight with Josh.
Hospital.
She's alive.
Precinct.
She called.
Hospital.
She doesn't remember.
"I'll call you okay" she says, He will have to wait until she's ready.
Waiting.
Rick continued to go into the precinct helping the boys with Beckett's shooting. He went in everyday, despite not hearing from Kate, just being at the 12th somehow made him feel connected to her. He eavesdropped on conversations between Javi, Lanie and Kevin to try and get information on how Kate was doing.
It was awful. He picked up his cell phone obsessively searching for texts or messages from her everyday for a month. He called his cell phone company to make sure that the network was not having any problems. He had Alexis call him multiple times a day to "make sure his phone was working" and still it was only silence.
As time went on, he felt more and more rejected. He stopped checking his phone and gave up on hearing from her. She clearly hated him for pulling her out of the hangar and was shunning him to get back at him for killing Montgomery. Admittedly, Montgomery and Beckett's shootings haunted his dreams, and often he woke up feeling responsible for both of them.
After two months, the new Captain, Captain Gates, kicked him out of the precinct. He was secretly somewhat glad about this because it hurt so badly to see Kate's desk every morning, empty. And without her, he felt like he had no reason to stay anymore.
Rejection turned into anger as the months went on. He resented her for not calling. He resented her for not hearing his admission of love for her. He resented her for getting shot. He resented himself for not being fast enough to take the bullet for her. He hated that Josh got to help her recover and he was left in the dark. This anger made him almost unbearable to live with, after months of trying to talk to him or help him, Alexis and Martha quit trying and left him to brood alone in his office.
Alexis had never seen this side of her father before. He was so angry. He was writing like crazy, and he had finished "Heat Rises" and he had agreed to promote the book around the country. Alexis and Martha accompanied him to the book launch parties and events, but even at public events he was sour and fake. Alexis started to resent Beckett too. How could she do this to her dad? How could she be so cruel? Would her dad ever be the happy and genuine man he used to be?
When she asked him to sign her book, he couldn't believe his eyes. He saw her outside and brushed past her. His anger came out and then they talked on the swings. They actually talked…
Part 2
"Don't leave me, please. Stay with me. Ok. Kate, I love you. I Love you Kate."
Ambulance and Pain.
Hospital and Pain.
Wakes up.
Calls Castle.
She lies and says she doesn't remember.
"I'll call you okay" she says.
She doesn't call. She spends two weeks in the hospital with daily visits from her dad, Josh and Lanie. Kev and Javi come in from time to time with updates on the case and to check in on her. They are looking into the gardener, following up on some leads. When she is released from the hospital, all she wants is to get away. Josh pressures her to stay, but after hearing Castle's "I love you" Kate knows Josh is one of those "Meaningless relationships with men you don't love" that Castle had accused her of. She breaks it off, and he takes it like a true gentleman.
At the cabin, Kate does her physical therapy and spends time trying to convince herself not to be scared. She has nightmares about the shooting. She has nightmares about Roy. She has nightmares that Castle's tackle had worked and that he was the one who had been shot.
She missed him again, just like the last times they had been separated. But she didn't admit it to herself or anyone else; she buried it with anger and blame. She was still hurt that he had stopped her from saving Montgomery.
Kate was in pain, and needed help, but her stubbornness was back with a vengeance and she wasn't going to let it show. So she buried it, pretended she didn't remember a thing. Pretended he didn't matter to her. Pretended that his admission that he loved her didn't change anything. She did yoga, Pilates, stretching and physical training. She stopped calling Lanie and put everything she had into her physical recovery. She read comic books and stayed away from anything that would make her think about "real life".
She was determined to forget about what he said, after months of zero contact, maybe he would forget what he said too. Because to accept those 3 little words meant that she would have to change who and how she was. And most of all, the idea of letting those walls fall down scares her the most.
