Disclaimer: I do not own the show or these characters.
Rule One: Punctuality
"I thought we were having soup?"
The pawnbroker bit back a sneer. "It is an expression, Miss Swan."
"I'm just saying. If one declares there's gonna be soup it's sort of implied that soup is what's for dinner."
David interceded, "I thought it was beef that was for dinner."
Gold rolled his eyes.
There was a banging of hook to table. Everyone jumped at the sloshing mugs.
"I call this crew to order!"
The crew zipped their lips and quickly folded their hands under the table.
They were in the bowels of the ship and it was dark save for a few dripping candles on the table and some lanterns swinging from the ceiling. Captain Hook, skipper of the Jolly Roger for who knows how many decades, sat at the head of the long table. To his right was a wide eyed Mary Margaret, her starving husband, and their equally ravenous (though not for food) daughter. On Hook's left were Regina and Gold. Clearly, this crew was not taking sides.
"I am bloody sick and tired of doing everything myself! This ship cannot sail under a one man show. I do only have one hand, you know. In case you haven't forgotten." He raised the limb, wiggled his fingers, and gazed on it with pride. "Ah, still a beauty. Anyway, while I'm manning the deck the rest of you have been sitting on your arses! That is not how this establishment is run!"
"I thought there was a ban on all Charmings," David pointed out helpfully.
"The ban is on stupidity. Climb that mast again, farm boy, and you'll find yourself herding sharks."
The shepherd closed his mouth and leaned back into the careful stroking of Mary Margaret's hand to his ego.
"Every crew member will have a duty to perform. Once your job is done the rest of the day is yours," he glared at David, "just so it isn't getting yourselves killed for a bloody scrap of embroidery." He cleared his throat and leaned back. "You will do your chores without complaint, help the captain when he asks, and please for the love of Davy Jones be on time for supper."
"That's right," Mary Margaret recalled out loud. She looked to Regina and then her daughter with a concerned frown. "Where were you? We couldn't start dinner without you two. What happened?"
It was like the interrogation after your girlfriend brought you home after hours. Girlfriend or not, Regina had been locking lips with Emma and not too gingerly rounding second base just minutes ago. Self-consciously Emma looked down to make sure all of her assets were covered, a movement which thoroughly confused her waiting mother.
Emma opened her mouth and would have spoken up if it weren't for the magic kick in the shin. Mouth still agape and grimacing in pain she caught the glimmer of 'shut your mouth, Swan' in the brunette's fiery eyes. But before Regina could smooth things over Gold was the one to speak up.
"Why don't we cut the bitching and… moaning and proceed to business?" He looked over to Regina, flashing a loaded smile. "Shall we?"
Regina held the imps eyes with a hodgepodge of shock, fear, and fury.
"Thank you, Rumple." Hook bowed his head. "I have been watching every one of you since you stepped on board. I've –"
"You've been watching us?" Emma's face scrunched in horror. "That's disgusting."
"Not surprising," Regina sang.
Mary Margaret shivered visibly.
"Creepo," muttered Gold.
"As I was saying," the pirate grated out. "I have been observing, making notes on possible skill sets, and making myself aware of various strengths and weaknesses. I will be drawing up a list of every crew member and their assigned duty. When you receive your orders you will agree without question. Don't like it? you can find another ship to mooch off. Agreed?"
There were several nods and a few shrugs.
"Now," Hook slapped his thighs, "let's sup. We all have an early call time, so I suggest we consume some drink and… oh well fine, yes, food and get to beddy-bye."
After supper and when most had hit the hay Regina trapped Gold into a corner. "That was very ill-advised."
Gold looked at the hand planted against the wall, blocking his path. "I know. It is absurd serving salted fish on a ship. There was no presentation."
Regina explained with a dangerous tone, "You know something."
"Oh-hoho, I wish I didn't."
"A simple memory spell can be in order."
"I'd like to see you try."
The brunette raised a fist and pointed her finger. "If you so much as let out a whisper…"
"Don't bother with the threats, dearie, I know all of them." He tapped his chin and stared off. "What are they… you shall destroy my happiness. Hmm, you could try but I have none left. And the other one, I think it was… you shall destroy me – " Gold shook his head confused, "again, with the destroy – you shall destroy me if it is the last thing you do. " Oh, and my personal favorite: 'imp.' Just the one word, sends shivers down my spine."
"What I am capable of can cause more than a few goosebumps."
"Oh, I forgot that one!" Gold snapped his finger at her suggested capabilities.
"Know this, Rumple: I am done with the Charming family. Those idiots have done nothing but ruin my life and I have no intention of giving them another reason to."
"You want nothing to do with these people, yet they gave you the one thing that fills that empty place in your heart. Henry is as much a Charming as he is a Mills. You cannot deny that and neither can they. If you ever want to be a better mother – a better anything – you have to make nice with idiots." Gold tipped his head and closed his eyes briefly. "Speaking of family. I would like you to do me a favor – in exchange for my silence, of course."
"Here it comes. What curse do you want me to enact now? I'm all out of hearts from the ones I love the most – " Regina paused and grabbed his lapels, growling, "and Henry is off limits in any of your deals."
"No need for a scuffle. This isn't about crushing hearts. On the contrary, it's about bringing them back. One in particular. My son's."
"He was killed. What makes you think I could? Believe me I've tried. There is no bringing back the dead. You yourself admitted to it being a foolish notion."
"I didn't say anything about you bringing him back."
"Then why ask me?"
"Because you and Miss Swan have become quite close. If what I heard tonight rang true it would seem someone has Emma wrapped around her little…"
"Do not finish that sentence if you value your life."
"All you have to do is teach her a few magic tricks, build up her confidence, and convince her that my son can be saved."
"Miss Swan is an amateur. The only reason why we were able to deactivate the trigger…" she shook her head unable to find that one reason if it existed at all. "It is a waste of time. She doesn't have the patience and I don't have the time to play teacher. If you haven't forgotten, Henry – your grandson as much as I don't like admitting it – has been kidnapped. My focus is on getting him home safe."
"Ah, saving Henry. Yes, isn't that why we are all on this cramped boat, anyway? It will be weeks before we get to Neverland. It's time to stop moping about and do something constructive. I hardly think Emma mastering her powers would hinder your son's rescue. In fact, with her by your side I imagine it will be about as successful as your joint efforts in saving Storybrooke. There's no harm in trying, as they say. We both want our sons back, so this bargain is mutually beneficial."
"Why place so much faith in her now? She already broke the curse and saved the whole town from you and I. What makes you think she can do the impossible?"
"What makes you think she can't? True love can surpass realms. Emma and Baelfire were in love once, probably still were. You of course wouldn't know, you never saw them together. You didn't see Emma's face when she found him or the unbridled joy on his face when he was reunited with his family."
Regina could feel the knife twisting. "Henry is my family. None of you raised him, saw his first steps, or sent him off to school every day. Why the hell would I agree to this? Why would I willingly allow her to bring back that lowlife sperm donor?"
"Because, Regina, if you don't your secret will slip," Gold said with extra bite. "It doesn't matter if you end it with Miss Swan. It happened, therefore, it constitutes as superb leverage. If the deal is broken war will resume – or at least a war of domesticity. The parents will have your head for what you did with their daughter… however many times in however many positions…"
Teeth were bared, claws came out. She made a grab for the man.
"It's a shame you're not good enough for the Savior." Gold twirled his finger and Regina stumbled softly into the wall, leaving the hallway open for passage. Before he hobbled far he threw over a shoulder, "Would have made for an epic love story."
Mary Margaret had been looking worriedly at her husband ever since they came in from dinner. Depression set in quickly, more quickly than the woman anticipated. She had thought up a number of ways to ask what was wrong, but looking at David sulking on the bed all those questions seemed about as pitiful as his current state. She bit her lip and decided to dive right in.
"Hook again?"
Without looking up he nodded.
"I saw you pull him aside after dinner tonight. He must have said something awful if you are this upset."
He shook his head.
"Honey, use your words."
There was a five ton sigh. "Nothing. He didn't say a word to me."
"Did you explain to Hook how important it was to you?"
"It wouldn't make a difference. I'm not going anywhere near that nest. Not if he can help it."
"Then why do it? I only suggested raising my homemade flag because the skull one was inappropriate. But why risk your safety? I swear, when I saw you dangling from that death trap I wanted to cut the other hand off that pirate."
"I did it to impress him," he sighed, head hung low. "The pirate life always sounded so thrilling to me as a kid. It's what I've always dreamed of doing. I thought maybe if I tested my bravery and faced my fear of heights…"
"Well sweetheart, why don't you just tell him?"
"Because he already thinks I'm a fool!" David cried throwing up his hands. "The ban was said to be placed on all crew with Charming blood. Not true. The ban was meant to be placed on this Charming," he admitted, pointing to himself. He nodded sadly as the truth sunk in.
"No!" Mary Margaret cried in horror. She sat beside him and took a strong, calloused hand in hers. "David, I'm sure that's not what Hook implied."
"Oh, yes it was."
"You try so hard. Maybe you need to show him in other ways," Mary Margaret offered with a cheery smile. "The assignments are tomorrow, how about you put on some nautical spirit, accept your orders, and thank him with a sharp 'Aye-aye, Captain!'"
He sighed heavily.
Mary Margaret rubbed his back as if to sooth a petulant child. "I'm sure you'll do well wherever Hook places you."
"With my on deck record he'll put me as far from that look out as possible." With a shake of the head David closed his eyes and stated morosely, "Far, far away."
"Have you ever made a deal with Gold?"
A tank top was folded haphazardly and tossed on a pile of similar shirts. She was in no mood for an argument or even friendly conversation. It was close to midnight, supper had been an indigestion induced event courtesy of Big Brother, and Emma was about as sexually frustrated as a celibate sex addict. No mood.
Still wrangling her semi-clean wardrobe Emma sniped, "Possibly. What's it to you?"
There was no reply. Emma looked up. With arms loosely wrapped around her middle Regina was leaning against the door. She was staring at the floor carefully, pensively.
"Regina? What is it?"
"Have you made deals with Gold before?" Regina asked more firmly.
Emma shrugged and crossed her arms across her chest. "Yeah, that's what the whole trip to New York was about. Gold needed me to find his son." She bit her lip hard causing a dull pain. "If I hadn't he would have carried out his threat." It wasn't worth Emma's safety to reveal the details of that threat. Regina already seemed to be in a fragile state of mind. Emma absently brushed a hand to her own throat.
It could have been fear that rolled within brown eyes, but it was gone in a flash.
"So you know how serious he is about these contracts. You know what would happen if your end isn't held up."
"Is this leading somewhere? Wait," Emma's eyes narrowed as she asked deliberately, "you made a deal with him didn't you?"
"Yes," Regina answered. She lifted her chin.
"Oh, great! It's okay to berate me for making deals with that snake, but when you do it you get a free pass."
"Stop being a child," scoffed the brunette. She mirrored the blonde's stance, arms crossed. "You forget, I have been doing this longer. I had a valid reason."
"Why is it alright for you to make deals with the enemy? What makes you so special?"
"Miss Swan," she let out an exasperated sigh, "if you can stop acting like the ostracized classmate who wants to be noticed for two seconds I will gladly explain."
"Why? So you can make up lies about how superior you are to the rest of us? How it is perfectly fine to strike deals with someone who put our son in danger? Why should I need to know, anyway? It's not like you care about what I think."
Regina promptly got in Emma's face, close enough to clock her or kiss her. "Because he knows about us!" she hissed breathlessly, her eyes vulnerable and dancing wildly. "He knows we were together tonight and if I don't do as he says he will take that information and sell it to the highest bidder. Your parents being first in line."
"Well, why didn't you just say that?"
"I was trying to, but someone was whining like a little girl."
Emma's face went sour. "Was not." She received a pointed look. "Whatever." Emma stuffed her hands in her pockets and pulled her shoulders back confidently. "Now, what exactly do you mean when you say 'he knows about us'? If he just heard us fooling around there's not much there to bargain with. It happened one time. It's not like we're having an affair."
Something about that statement felt like a deliberate jab. It was more like a blunt stab (those wounds hurt the most). Regina started to wonder if Gold knew more than he was letting on.
Emma searched the surprisingly timid eyes. Her radar came up with zilch. Using a gentler tone she asked, "So what is the weasel asking for?"
"His son. Gold has placed undue faith in your ability to pump life into dead hearts. He wants you to bring Neal back. That's the favor."
Emma's head reared back in surprise. She had expected quite a few possibilities, one of which was the assassination of his pirate nemesis, but sure as hell not bringing back his dead son. She didn't want to think about giving weight to such a challenge. It was too soon.
Turning away Emma gathered some composure from the range of emotions she was experiencing.
"Just how am I supposed to do that?" The blonde's hand combed through her hair and clutched at her back neck. "And don't tell me there's a prophecy about me having the power to revive the dead. I've had enough of that pawnbroker meddling in my future."
"I am to instruct you in the magical arts," Regina replied simply.
"Oh," Emma cackled, "lucky you. And how does Regina feel about this?"
"I'm not thrilled about it, thank you for asking."
"That's fine and all, but where was my say in all this? It's kind of convenient that you signed on to something that has you and me trying to save the world again."
"Not the whole world, just one person. Stop being dramatic." Regina put her hands on her hips and gave the woman a once over with clear offense. "And since when do I have to consult you whenever I make decisions?"
"You do when the deal involves me!"
"Will you keep your voice down?"
"Why would I want to save him? He was an asshole."
Regina was bound to agree. Sperm donor dad was an asshole of the worst kind. Not only did he impregnate and abandon his underage girlfriend, but he invited himself into Emma's life ten years later like all was forgiven. If he wanted to see Henry he should have hired a lawyer. And if he wanted to see Emma… well, that wasn't Regina's business. The tears hiding behind stormy green eyes and the small step taken towards Regina told her differently. Regina's voice was tender and warm when she said, "You don't mean that."
"I really don't want to do this right now." Emma sniffed. Not a tear had been shed. "Is that all?"
It wasn't, but Regina thought it was enough for one night.
Emma nodded back. "Whatever we decide we'll do it together. This deal involves both of us."
"Agreed," Regina sighed. "It's been a long day. I'm going to bed."
Emma watched as Regina pulled back the blanket of the single, lonely, bottom bunk, fully prepared to sleep unaccompanied.
"Okay."
"Alright you scurvy scallywags, form a line!"
The crew bustled into a haphazard row. The bright light of sunrise was blinding causing them all to blink furiously. They all cursed themselves for not packing shades. Their sour faces turned serious when a clipboard was procured.
"I hope you all got your beauty sleep because today will be the most back breaking day of your lives. By the end of the day each and every one of you should know what is expected of you. Sailing is not some wine cruise in the Maldives. It's hard, it's wet, and it's long. Stop snickering Rumple or you'll find out just how wet that ocean is! Now, for the roll call." Hook flipped up the page and read from the list. "Snow White."
"Actually, it's Mary Margaret."
"Rump-" the pirate halted the roll. He shot the petite woman a confused look. "Since when?"
"Well, you see ever since the curse was cast we people of Storybrooke had been living under assumed identities…"
"Shut up," he held up a hand, "you've already lost me."
Mary Margaret gasped at the gall of this pirate.
"Continuing on… Rumplestiltskin."
"Here, unfortunately."
Hook didn't bother confirming. He grumbled a reply, "Yes, so it is." The next name on the list was probably reason for his current migraine. "… Farm boy."
"Present and ready for duty, CAPTAIN!"
Hook looked up regretfully to see a ram rod straight salute and a stony expression of incompetence. He shook his head and panned down to his clip board muttering, "Tragic."
The line shifted uncomfortably as David withdrew hand to forehead and shuffled his feet. His stare out to sea was unflinching, but a stout chin trembled.
"Swan."
Silence.
"Swan!"
Additional silence.
"Did the lass jump ship already? Bloody hell how difficult is it to arrive on time?"
The missing woman's mother bit her lip nervously, thinking up a thousand and one dangers that had befallen her.
Hook let out a heavy sigh. "Moving on. Regina."
A ship never sounded so stagnant. Four heads turned to the end of the line.
"Well, I think we all know who our problem crew is. First rule of today: don't take the two missing idiots for model citizens. Arrive on time for duty. Speaking of, I shall now hand out assignments."
Stepping up to the pawnbroker Hook whipped out a slip of paper.
"Head chef," Gold read after a sharp intake of breath. He continued to stare in wonder at the shockingly flourishing script, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips.
"Aye," Hook shifted uncomfortably before the cripple's welling eyes, "don't think much of it."
Unlike David, Gold's chin quivered with joy.
Mary Margaret snatched her slip with a glare. When she read it her mouth dropped open. "I can't do this."
"Aw, you'll learn to like it, love."
"But this is a job for someone much stronger than I. Perhaps I could swap with one of the men?"
"There will be no swapping on this ship unless I say so," Hook countered with slight giddiness. "You can take what I give you and you can like it."
"Hey, there's no need to –"
"Yes," Hook sneered at David, "there's no need to butt in where one is not needed."
"Hook, there is no way I can properly man the rigs and sails by myself. Have you seen how tall I am?"
"Just cut back on the coffee, love."
Eyes still holding the water David said through his teeth, "She drinks tea."
Mary Margaret pacified him with a pat on the arm. She tilted her head at the captain, saying slowly, "I know you value hard work and integrity." There was a slap as Gold clamped a hand over his chuckling mouth. "That's something I can understand because you care for this ship like I care for my family. If anyone were to step into my household I would want them to treat it like I would, with love and respect. Now if you want me to do a good job there has to be some give and take here."
"I'm sure we can make certain accommodations." Hook leaned forward flashing his winning smile. "Maybe some… one on one tutorials between captain and sailor. Eh?" His guy liner winked.
Mary Margaret saw that she wasn't going to win with this pirate. She gave a noncommittal shrug and stepped back into line.
"Mr. Farm Boy, step right up, step right up to claim your orders."
David's eyes lit up at his superior's enthusiasm. Perhaps Hook had awarded him with the great honor of quartermaster, or boatswain. David would accept anything as long as he was beside a famous pirate like Killian Jones himself. In the flesh.
The crewman took his slip and read. The childlike smile grew inch by inch and then… crumbled. "Wh-why?" David choked out. "I... I thought…" He covered his mouth to stifle the overwhelming emotion boiling up from within. Not much could be subdued. It was the sob heard round the world.
"Oh, please."
Mary Margaret elbowed the pawnbroker. She peeked over a flannel shoulder and read the rum stained slip of parchment. Laundry. Oh, David.
"Great fit, right?" Hook said as he polished his already gleaming hook. "It occurred to me last night why you were climbing that lookout. You were trying to get so far away from what scared you that you got as far up as that nifty little birds nest!" Hook cried with a laugh and clapped his thigh as if the epiphany was just too much. "You see, farm boy, there's nothing about that dingy, decrepit laundry cabin that should strike fear into… well, anyone's heart really. You gotta face your fears sometime, mate. Am I right?"
David didn't feel that clap on his shoulder. He was already experiencing heaping amounts of grief and disappointment to sense outside stimuli. He wasn't frightened of the stuffy laundry room and Hook knew it.
"Alright class," Hook slapped his thigh, "the easy part is finished. We shall now start with ship etiquette and how not to act like a bloody ape aboard a priceless vessel. Lesson one…"
Well-rested eyes opened to a creaking ceiling. To Emma it seemed like five inches from her face, but the girl was exaggerating. It was seven inches.
Sleeping was not an ideal activity when on a rocking ship in the sea. The sleeping quarters were cold, hard, and unpromising in promoting the z's. Typically, Emma spent her nights awake formulating a plan on what to do when they got to Neverland. The other half of her sleepless night was spent worrying about the lack of a safety bar. One crashing wave was all it took to send the blonde form rolling off her bunk and dropping a good few feet to a leaky floor.
There was no reason to worry this morning because Emma was protected by a wall to her left and a solid form to her right. Actually, the form was half sprawled on her, its brown hair tickling her neck. If it weren't for this crushing weight Emma would have chalked up the morning to fantastic. She even got a good night's rest to boot.
Emma craned her neck to get a better look. The sheet was down her knees (possibly kicked down during her heavy slumber). Her middle was being clutched like a life preserver. The survivor, in this case, was a limp Regina Mills.
"How did you get up here?" Emma asked, not sure if the dead weight was awake.
"Mm," muffled against a pale neck, "levitated…"
"Right."
Regina pulled Emma closer and brought her legs around the one below. The breath in Emma hitched at the brief rubbing on her thigh. Regina groaned. Her lids fluttered open to take in the frozen and flushed blonde.
"G'morning," she husked.
"Right," Emma replied again. She looked down to their tied and twisted legs and back up to the woman. "I never figured you for the cuddling type."
"I'm not."
"And yet you're hugging me like a koala would her baby."
"You are kind of a baby," Regina noted with a chortle. She explained, "The complaining and that absurd pout."
Emma pouted. "Yeah, well, koalas don't hump."
"Don't like it? I can leave."
"No!" Emma grabbed the retreating arm. "You don't have to…"
Regina smiled wryly, laying her head back on Emma's shoulder.
"You were the Evil Queen of fairy tales – unfair as that was for you. Now that the persona is gone you're… all cuddly and nice in the morning. I wouldn't have expected that."
"And what wouldn't surprise you? Me setting your mattress on fire? Perhaps slipping you enough alcohol so you… accidentally tumble off the bed in your sleep?"
"Sounds like you thought this through. I'd think the cuddling is more cause for worry, though."
Silence was deafening. After what felt like a millennium Emma felt a thumb caress over her bare shoulder.
"Please don't," Regina whispered. The advice was aimed more so to herself than Emma.
The sheriff liked to think 'worry' wasn't in her vocabulary, but maybe it was now that her son was missing and her former nemesis was finding solace in her arms. They both needed this, so Emma took a deep breath and cuddled with the Evil Queen.
It was the brushing of soft fingers to her cheek and a meager voice that tore Emma from impending slumber.
"Last night you mentioned something about me having a lot on my mind. You offered to talk with me."
This was progress, Emma thought. But what topic of discussion was on this morning's docket? It could be anything from something as deep as Regina's insecurities to the sensitive subject of Henry. Or she might want to shed light on their recent need to feel each other up. Emma wasn't sure she was ready to put those feelings into words necessarily. At least not words audible at a normal decibel of conversation. Damn these peasant beds and thin cabin walls.
"You feel like you're ready? You really want to talk?"
Regina bit her lip. Emma suddenly noticed her hooded 'I'm irresistible enough to fuck' eyes and her heart immediately began to race at the prospect of such an activity.
"I really don't."
Regina didn't wait for Emma as she slipped a hand around a neck. She didn't offer Emma time to take in a breath before she was kissing that mouth. She didn't wait for Emma to say no, or yes, or some other stupid word that had no place being between them. Because the only thing she wanted between them were their lips connecting and their magic flowing around, about, and inside them.
"I need you," Regina murmured between fervent pecks. Her lips ran along a jaw and careened down to lay upon vulnerable flesh. It was a frenzy. She could feel the gulp under her sweeping tongue. "Don't ask me why. Don't make me beg."
Another audible gulp. "I would never –"
"Yes," Regina said, allowing her steely gaze to bore into defenseless, naïve green, "you would."
"Then don't give me a reason."
Regina's hands sure didn't. Tank top number five rippled up over searching hands and a heaving belly. While nipping at her collarbone Regina appreciated the muscles and tender flesh below. She loved the shudders and whimpers her touches elicited. Regina was drawn to them in unspeakable ways; and not just her body – her magic as well. That could possibly explain their knack for opening portals and disabling nuclear gems. It was a bond that both excited her, and frightened her.
The fears were kissed away while the anticipation was drunk in, electrifying every nerve not already ahum. Her movements were soft at first, running up Emma's sides and then down for thumbs to tuck tantalizingly under the lip of cotton and back up over toned abs. She was rougher when her palms reached breasts.
Emma hissed in pleasure and brought Regina into a hard kiss. While her breasts were being kneaded from here to the moon the blonde was equally rough in using tongue and teeth. She sucked, bit, and stroked the sexy moans from Regina's mouth. The sound made Emma ache all over, especially in the region between her thighs. Emma shifted, rubbing her legs together. Oh, yeah. Aching and wet in all the right places. She whimpered in anticipation.
Regina took the collar of the top between her teeth and tugged impatiently. Her growl was met with a pushing of breasts as Emma gripped Regina's head to meet the pair. Her tongued dipped further, following the trail of sweat to Salvation Valley.
The former mayor was nose deep in cleavage when Emma gasped. It was not the kind of gasp she was expecting. Regina pushed up from the still form and glanced down with a frown.
"What's wrong?" she croaked. Her voice was that of a young girl who was notorious for displeasing high-handed mothers and enraged husbands. "Did I do something bad?"
"God, no." Emma cupped the woman's cheek in reassurance. "You could never be bad."
Regina sank into the hand and the iron clad words that were spoken. She smiled shyly in return.
"But it would be really bad if we were late to Hook's meeting thing."
Brown hair flew with a turning head. Daylight was shining through their porthole. "Oh, shit!"
"My sentiments exactly."
Eye through a telescope pointed out to sea, Hook could hear the stampede of two women behind him. Clamoring up the stairway they halted on the bridge. From the corner of his eye he saw a blonde bent over and huffing, and a brunette leaning against a mast and failing to look reposed.
"Fancy seeing you two up so early. It's a shame you couldn't come to the meeting that was mandatory for all crew members!" He withdrew the spyglass and collapsed its length with a sharp clank. Tapping a boot he refused to face them. He waited for the string of useless excuses.
Emma didn't disappoint.
"Sorry we're late," she said, still catching her breath. "We had a, uhh, incident. You see…" Emma glanced hesitantly to the other woman who already knew it would be a disaster of epic proportion, "I fell from my bunk this morning and I landed in a huge puddle of leaking water – by the way, you really need to get that checked out – anyway, when I fell I splashed a wave of water on Regina – who was still asleep – and then, um, she was so surprised that she fell too. And then… and then we both got wet – I mean, our clothes got wet! Yeah, pretty soaked." Emma bit her lip and hid her hands in her back pockets. She refused to meet either of their faces. "So… wardrobe malfunction. Also, ah umm… we didn't set the alarm?"
Regina rolled her eyes.
"Sounds like a string of unfortunate and highly improbable events."
Emma let out a nervous "Ha," before looking away. The floor was pretty interesting to behold with all its intricate woodiness and beautiful brown coloring and... yeah.
Taking it upon herself to do damage control Regina flipped her hair, pulled her shoulders back, and jumped right in. "Listen, Hook…"
"Captain Hook, if you please."
"Captain Hook," she corrected with a cheeky grin, "I understand you wanted us present with everyone else. It is truly a selfless thing to take in a crew – half of whom you have tried to kill in the past – and give us safe passage to Neverland. I'm sure a genuine adventurer such as yourself would rather be spending your time sailing the Caribbean and drinking the finest rum in the company of ladies." Her smile faded to a frown and she tipped her head. "But that we returned your kindness with incivility is most unfortunate for all of us. Miss Swan and I are devastatingly ashamed of ourselves for wasting your time –"
"We are?" Emma's side was promptly jabbed by an elbow. "We are," she confirmed, clutching her wound.
"It was not our intention to disrespect you or this lovely vessel. I hope you can find it within yourself to accept our apology. I am sorry."
"Ow! Yeah, me too. Sorry, that is."
Hook just rubbed his scruffy chin and looking between the two. He watched Emma shuffle her feet and carry on some odd fascination with the floor. He also didn't miss Regina's 15% genuine certified smile and her waning patience. The former mayor was obviously losing steam.
"But we are here now, so if you could just give us our assignments we can be off."
Hook heard the splash of patience going overboard. Tapping his hook to his chin he pretended to be in thought. After a decent 60 seconds he shrugged and said, "No worries. Your absence lent itself to a splendid example to the good folks who had the courtesy to show up."
"That's it?" Emma asked, frowning. "You're not going to, like, punish us? Or make us walk the plank?"
"Do not give him ideas!" Regina hissed from the corner of her mouth. She went back to a 50 watt smile.
"Naw. I'm kind of waiting for Rumple to screw up before I get the old plank back out of storage."
The women nodded simultaneously in understanding and suddenly the reason for their absence peaked the pirate's curiosity. It didn't take long for Hook to put two and two together: the frequent lateness, the rumpled clothes, the fact that they share a cabin, not to mention the soft, longing stares Regina had been giving Emma when she wasn't looking.
"Nice. Very nice," Hook drawled and nodded very slowly.
"What?"
"Oh," he gave Emma a knowing smile, "I guess it's just that the late morning suits both of you. You ladies are simply glowing." He licked his dry lips.
"Gross."
"Assignments?" Regina interrupted. Her brow rose impatiently.
"Yes, yes," Hook murmured and filled Regina's open hand with her slip. He handed Emma hers as well.
"Navigator," the brunette read. "Well, it is not all I ever hoped for, but I suppose it will do." She pursed her lips.
"A standup navigator must have good eyes. And you, Regina, have good eyes." Oddly, Hook was looking to Emma when he was saying it.
The blonde mumbled what was on her slip and flashed her captain her best puppy eyes. "Seawoman? That sounds like a lot of work. Can't I switch with Regina?"
The other woman scoffed, "Absolutely not." She wasn't exactly protective of her title as navigator. Though she had spent some time on pirate ships back in her rebellious stage as a young queen, she had little experience in navigating one. That didn't mean she was about to hand off a challenge. Regina Mills never quit at anything.
Emma pouted and whined, "But this is a two person job. Not to mention I don't have the stamina of a male sailor. Hook, please, can't we switch?"
"My decision is final. I have spent more time than necessary putting together the duty roster. I actually can't believe how high my hopes are for you people. Anyway, stop pouting Swan it's unattractive. The duties for seawoman are just as important to the integrity of this ship as any other job. It's tough work and there's plenty of grease involved, but you seem to be the kind of girl that doesn't mind getting her hands dirty."
Emma rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Can we go now?"
He nodded.
As they walked away Regina playfully nudged a hip into a sulking Emma.
Hook smiled, much more enthusiastic about this voyage than before. He waved and called out, "I can't wait to see what you two have to offer this ship."
