"Uh huh huh. He was mad at us. Uh huh huh," Laughed Butthead.
"Yeah, and then he threw us over the railing, 'cause we called him a turd. Mm hm hm," laughed Beavis
"Look, I'm glad you guys are able to laugh at this," said Mondo, "But you've just been sitting here laughing at you own joke for THREE MINUTES!"
"Yeah guys," said Woodie, "If you guys want your few days here to be memorable, then you gotta make every minute count."
"So like, uhhh, what do you guys do for fun around here?" asked Butthead.
"Is there like any tv around here, so we can watch something, and then talk about what we watch. Mm hm hm."
"Even better," said Woodie. "We go surfing!" Beavis and Butthead turned to look at the beach.
"Surfing?" said Butthead. "You mean stand on those boards in the waves?"
"Yeah, that doesn't sound so fun." Said Beavis.
"But guys," said Woodie, "It's a great thing to do at the beach. You feel the waves and the wind." The four of them saw a man riding a surfboard on the waves.
"Big deal," said Beavis.
"It helps you stay in shape," said Woodie as the man turned to reveal his bulging muscles.
"Uh huh huh. What a tool," said Butthead.
"And it makes you popular with the ladies!" said Mondo, as the man came onto the beach and was instantly surrounded by bikini clad women. Butthead and Beavis stared at the women around the man, aroused and jealous.
"Whoa, did you see that, Butthead?" said Beavis. "That guy's got tons of chicks!"
"Uh huh huh. Cool! Where do we get boards?"
Mondo and Woodie took Butthead and Beavis to the surf rental stand on the beach. "Seven dollars an hour?" Butthead said. "What a rip off! Uh huh huh"
"Yeah, really," Beavis said. "We can like buy a whole lot of nachos, and chili dogs, and burritos at Maxi Mart with that money." He turned to face the man running the stand. "Ummm, I'll give you, like, ten cents to rent a board."
"That's not how you haggle, Beavis," Butthead said. He turned to the rental stand manager. "Uhh, I'll give you a dollar to rent it for the entire day. Uhh huh huh."
"Sorry guys, no negotiations. But you're going to need surfboards while you're here," said the man running the rental stand.
"He's right, said Woodie. "When You're in California, you're going to need a board, or you're in serious trouble."
"Umm, alright," said Beavis.
"Okay. Uh huh huh." So Beavis and Butthead paid the man, and got their boards. After the four of them had changed into their bathing suits in the cabanas on the beach, Woodie and Mondo were ready to give Beavis and Butthead their first surfing lesson, which was paddling out into the open water with their arms, which it just so happens was the first surfing lesson Mondo had. Eventually, they were able to get Beavis and Butthead out into the water.
"So, uhhh, when do we get the chicks? Uh huh huh," said Butthead.
"What about the waves," asked Beavis. "Isn't surfing like about big waves, and, um, getting buff in the water? Hm hm hm."
"Damn it Beavis," said Butthead. "We're gonna get chicks, and all you can think about is the waves and our bodies? This'll help us score! Uh huh huh."
"We need to wait for the waves to come along," said Woodie. "Be patient."
"And if we get a rogue wave, stay the hell away from Mileys hole!" said Mondo, remembering his accident from when he had to surf to stay on the beach. Woodie nodded in agreement.
"So, uh, we like wait here for a while?" Butthead asked. "That sucks! Uh huh huh."
"Hey Butthead, check this out," said Beavis. "When you look at my board while I sit on it, it looks like I got a really big schlong! Mm hm hm!"
"Uhhh, oh yeah. Uh huh huh!"
"Here comes a wave guys," said Woodie. "Get ready!" Mondo and Woodie stood up on their boards. Butthead and Beavis, however, had a hard time getting up on their boards. As a result, while Mondo and Woodie rode the wave, Beavis and Butthead fell under. Woodie and Mondo came back to their new friends to check on their wellbeing.
"Dudes, you alright?" asked Woodie. Butthead and Beavis climbed back onto their boards.
"Uh huh huh, surfing sucks!" said Butthead. Beavis agreed.
"Aww, but you guys just started," said Mondo. "We need to go over this again until you get it right!" Over the next hour, the two Californian teens tried to help the dimwitted visitors learn the town's cultural act of surfing. Several failures were in store for Beavis and Butthead, for example they fell of the boards as a wave came by, they fell of their boards while lying on the boards as a wave came by, and they fell of their boards as they simply tried to get on. They did manage to improve their skills, but only marginally.
"Uhhh, Beavis and I have, like, had enough of this, and we want to go to Mondo's house to unpack our things."
"Yeah, hm hm hm. Go with Mondo and his mom. Hm hm hm."
"Yeah," said Mondo. "We've been here a while. I'll take you guys to my house to unpack, and Woodie will meet us there after he drops off his surfboard at his house."
"Cool bro," said Woodie. "See you guys then!" Woodie grabbed his board, hopped on his bike, and pedaled away. Mondo led Butthead and Beavis to his house.
"So, uhhh, you like live along the beach?" asked Butthead.
"Yep. It's really something, isn't it?" said Mondo.
"That's cool! Uh huh huh. Where we live, it's just no beaches anywhere."
"What about that water park on the other side of town? Hm hm hm" said Beavis.
"You idiot, Beavis! That's not the same as the beach, cause all the chicks are really old and fat and wear t-shirts in the water."
"Ohhh yeah."
"What do you guys do back home?" asked Mondo.
"Well, uhhhh," said Butthead. "Normally we like watch stuff and talk while we watch it."
"Like what?" asked Mondo.
"MTV." Said Beavis.
"Yeah," said Butthead. "MTV kicks ass!"
"Totally," said Mondo. "MTV really is the best!"
After a few more minutes of walking, the three finally arrived at Mondo's house.
"So, like, this is where you guys live and stuff?" Beavis asked as Mondo unlocked the door and led the guys inside. "This is cool. I bet you guys have, like, a good view of the hot chicks out on the beach."
"Oh yeah!" said Mondo. "Woodie once showed me once that if you look at them while they lie down to unhook their bikini straps, you can actually see their nipples!"
"Really? Uh huh huh," said Butthead. "This one time, Beavis and I went to get our hair cut, and while the chick washed our hair, we, like, looked down her shirt, and we saw hers!"
"Yeah, yeah!" said Beavis. "And then we scored! Mm hm hm!"
"No, Beavis! We didn't score! Her boyfriend Todd came in and beat us up, remember?"
"Ohhh, yeah! Mm hm hm. Still cool though."
The gang enters the kitchen. "Hello? We're back!" Mondo shouted, but he heard no response. Mondo looked down on the counter and found a note from Babs, and read it out loud. "Mondo, Tang got stomach poisoning from putting too much rotten papaya in with her rum, so I have to cover her shift. Won't be back until ten. You guys can help yourself to the leftovers in the fridge." Mondo turned to face his new friends. "So, what do you guys want to do tonight?"
"You said something about leftovers," said Butthead. "Can we, like, eat something?"
"I'll see what we have," said Mondo as he walked to the fridge. Beavis then picked up something from the counter.
"Hey Butthead, check this out. I found a cucumber. We can eat this. Whoa, and check this out! It has a button on the bottom!" Beavis pressed the button, and the 'cucumber' began to vibrate.
"Uhh, put it down Beavis. It's probably, like, radioactive or something. Uh huh huh." Beavis put down the 'cucumber.' Mondo then turned from the fridge to Butthead and Beavis.
"Okay, we've got pizza and lasagna. Just take what you want and microwave it." So the three of them lined up in front of the fridge. Beavis got a slice of pizza, Butthead got lasagna, and Mondo got both pizza and lasagna. They microwaved their plates, and all sat down together on the sofa facing the tv.
"This is pretty good," said Butthead.
"Yeah, probably better than what Daria would have given us," said Beavis. He turned to Mondo. "Is there like, anything good on?"
"Let's check," said Mondo, before he reached for the remote and turned on the TV. He began changing the channels. Woodie soon entered.
"Hey guys!" Woodie said. "What's going on?"
"We're watching tv," said Beavis. "Oh wait, stop here!" Beavis had chosen a channel that was playing a music video of 'Why Do You Let Me Stay Here' by Joseph Gordin Levitt and Zooey Deschanel. "It's those two people who are on every show these days!"
"Uh huh huh. Whoa, he brought a gun to the bank! And she's scared. 'I really should not have fallen asleep during orientation.' Uh huh huh."
"Yeah, 'I was looking up cool designs for pot holders for those guys I live with.' There's something I've always wondered about this guy," said Beavis. "Is Joseph Gordon Levitt Asian? He's got those eyes. Mm hm hm."
"Oh, look at that," said Butthead. "They're dancing in the bank."
"How come when we talk to women, they reject us, but this guy shows her a gun, and they dance?" Beavis asked. "This sucks!"
"And that cop over there isn't doing anything about it. 'They're not breaking the law. Slow dancing is okay. Break dancing is the only thing you really need to worry about.' Uh huh huh."
"Remember that time we got in trouble with that guys money?"
"That was cool. Uh huh huh. Uh huh huh." The music video ended.
"You guys do that a lot?" asked Woodie.
"Uhhh, yeah," said Butthead.
"Meh, music videos are all right, but they're not really prominent in my life," said Woodie.
"Me too," said Mondo. "Let's watch something else." So the four of them watched an episode of Jersey Shore and an episode of Teen Mom. A few minutes after Teen Mom, Babs came home from work.
"Hello munchkins!" she said.
"Hi mom," said Mondo.
"Hi Mondo's mom," said Woodie.
"Uhhh, hey baby! Uh huh huh, uh huh huh," said Butthead.
"Yeah, mm hm hm, how's it going?" Beavis asked.
"You kids have any supper?" Babs asked.
"Yeah, we had some leftovers while we watched tv," said Mondo. "Do you know where the sleeping bags are? We need to set them up for Beavis and Butthead."
"They should be in the hallway closet," Babs said. "I'll help you look." Babs and Mondo walked down the hallway.
"Uh huh huh, Mondo's mom is hot!" Butthead said.
"Yeah, yeah, smokin!" said Beavis.
"Mm, hm," said Woodie. "I once saw her boobs while she was in the shower!"
"Really! Can you help us? Uh huh huh."
"Uh-uh. Mondo's my friend, and I won't do anything to make him angry. Besides, it got to be really dangerous climbing onto the roof and running the risk of crashing through the skylight." Mondo and Babs came back into the tv room carrying two sleeping bags.
"Okay, Woodie and I will sleep in my room, while Beavis and Butthead sleep in here," Mondo said.
"Good," said Babs. "Okay, I'm off to bed. You boys should get to bed too, it's late. Goodnight Mondo, goodnight Woodie!"
"Goodnight mom!"
"Goodnight Mondo's mom!"
"Goodnight Beavis, goodnight Butthead! See you in the morning!" Babs walked off to her room.
"Yeah, I'll see you too. In my dreams! Uh huh huh."
"Yeah, mm hm hm, my hot dreams! Mm hm hm."
"We're going to bed," said Mondo. "See you in the morning!"
"Sleep tight!" said Woodie, and with that, Mondo and Woodie went to Mondo's room. They unrolled Woodie's sleeping bag, put on their pajamas, and went to bed.
"Goodnight Woodie," said Mondo.
"Goodnight Mondo," said Woodie, and Mondo turned out the light. "Mondo," Woodie said in the darkness, "you awake?"
"Yep," said Mondo.
"What do you think of Beavis and Butthead? Seems like they're attracted to so many women. How do you think we can help them have a good time if they're minds are so preoccupied with sex?"
"C'mon, man. We have a better chance of scoring with girls than those two."
"'Scoring?'"
"Must have spent a longer time with those guys than I thought. Anyway, it's not like they're gonna go out of their way or anything while we're not looking to have sex."
"I hope your right."
"You'll feel better about this in the morning. Now get some sleep." And Mondo and Woodie fell asleep. Around 3 a.m., however, Butthead woke up and woke up Beavis.
"Hey Beavis, wake up! I just realized a way we can score with that Mondo kids mom without getting her upset!"
"Really? How?"
"We'll touch all her underwear, and then we'll touch where she puts her stuff, and then she'll put her stuff where we touched! Uh huh huh!"
"Oh yeah, yeah, just like that time we went to that store in the mall! Mm hm hm!"
"This is gonna be cool!" So the two morons got out of their sleeping bags and went into Bab's bedroom. They started opening drawers, until they found the one containing bras and panties.
"Uhh, hey!" Butthead called to Beavis. "I found her underwear"
"Cool! Time to score!" So Butthead and Beavis began fumbling through Bab's underwear drawer and threw all the clothes they already felt on the floor. It wasn't long for Babs to awake with all the commotion they made.
"Umm, can I help you boys?" she asked as she turned on her nightstand light.
"Hey, Butthead, she's awake! What do we do?"
"Don't worry Beavis, I know what to do. Just play along." Butthead than turned to Babs. "Uhh, we were like sleep walking, and we woke up with our hands in your underwear drawer. Uh huh huh." Babs knew from the start that this was just a poorly planned lie.
"Mm-hm, sure. Well if you were asleep, then how did you know that was my underwear drawer?" The two of them stood still, unsure of what to say."
"Uhh, because we were dreaming it while we were sleepwalking. Uh huh huh."
"Right, sure you were." At that moment, Mondo and Woodie came in the bedroom.
"We heard something in here!" said Mondo.
"Is everything alright?" Woodie asked.
"It's fine," said Babs, "Beavis and Butthead were just having a hard time sleeping. All of you should just go back to bed." So Mondo and Woodie left the room, and Beavis and Butthead headed out towards the living room. "Oh, and boys? Next time you want to touch my underwear, wait till I'm out of the house."
"Whoa! This chick's cool! Uh huh huh!"
"Yeah, real hot too! Mm hm hm!"
