Sitting at the desk in the communications room, looking at the screen seeing the team appear on it, Lawson there, he had come over again and had dinner and spent the night together confusion there did she want more did she want a relationship with him she was his superior in charge of Tactical Response, what would happen if anyone found out the team higher up, would one of them have to leave, did she want to ruin what they already had, she had feelings for him nearly since they met there was something there and she had wanted something to happen now it had, what now, she didn't even want to go out in public well she did want to go out but what if someone saw them caught them together would they even last she was going through a divorce.
Hearing her phone beep seeing Leon turn around on his seat looking at her "who's the mystery guy who keeps texting you" raising her eyes at him "what" seeing him not moving "you phone beeps every day Kerry my guess is a new guy" rolling her eyes at him "if only you spent as much time doing your job as you do sticking your nose in where it doesn't count" turning his chair around "I'm hurt Kerry by that" shaking her head looking down at the message was she leading him on, what did she want if truth be told she had no idea. Fiddling with her hands would she just end up getting hurt again they couldn't hide it for ever would one of them be made to leave her eyes moving side to side the screen in front of her might as well be blank looking at the message from Lawson a smile on her face he was sweet but there was so much more to it.
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Hearing his phone remain silent, seeing Stella glance at him "what no reply she already over you" glancing at Stella did it mean anything shaking his head slightly no she was busy that was all it was "piss off Stel" seeing the smile on her face "how long has it been you and this mystery woman" his eyes moving to her "you always this nosey" shrugging "just passing time if you didn't keep on texting the whole day or checking your phone I wouldn't" shaking his head "just drive Stel" his eyes ahead was he texting her too much the fact was he liked her and a lot did it matter she was his superior was there something happening, he could only hope.
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Walking into her apartment tossing her bag onto the counter, grabbing a glass of wine, maybe she should of told Lawson she was leaving early it was easier this way if she didn't see him before she or he left, her resolve would start to falter she had to think away from work, rubbing her hands over her face she was tired it was a good tired but she needed to think and rest. Hearing her phone ring she knew who it was, as easy as it was to leave it, she knew he would be over her if he did, hanging up it was easier to say she had a shit load of work to do, as piss weak excuse as it was she did, as much as she wanted him over she needed to think clearly without him around to clear her head could she let him go to not kiss him again to make love to him again she liked the company and despite his annoying features at work there was something about him something that had drawn her to him all this time that she had wanted to sleep with him but never thought she would she wasn't good enough for him he deserved better someone he could have an open relationship with to put it simply someone other than her anyone would be better than her she would just end up hurting him.
Driving back to base looking around the car already gone, she hadn't replied to his text message until later much later a quick message of a sorry another time and a smiley face he wanted to speak to her to see what was happening, getting back to base as soon as he can, but her car was gone, walking casually into the communications room "Kerry around?" seeing as Leon turns around shaking his head "nah she left a while ago" his eyes not moving "left where?" watching as Leon turns back to the screen "my guess is she has gone home" walking out of the room hearing Leon's voice "she said she was on her mobile if it was important"
Hanging up the phone the conversation quick, did she even want to talk to him did she really have work to do, she usually stayed back at base doing it, maybe he should just turn up at her house surprise her with dinner she needed to eat.
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Opening the door the surprise on her face she should of known that he couldn't take a hint "what are you doing here" seeing him hold up a plastic bag "bringing you dinner, you still need to eat I'll go as soon as you have eaten" shaking her head he had a sweetness about him underneath his smart arse a smile on her face "I'll get the plates"
Shaking his head "I'll get it ready, finish what you are doing" going back to her computer what was she meant to say that she had already finished it all, it was an excuse not to see him. Typing away there was still a couple of reports she could do and send that could of waited, looking up at him in the kitchen he deserved better than her, someone who could give him what he wanted she couldn't she didn't want anyone to see them together not that she was ashamed of him but she didn't want them to find out, did he want kids she had James and didn't want anymore shit they had only just started going out turning back to the computer closing her eyes opening them again the screen was a blur making no sense.
Hearing Lawson's voice "where do you want to eat" closing what she was doing getting up rubbing her eyes walking over to the lounge. Finishing the takeaway curling her legs up underneath her looking up at him as she leans closer to her "I'm falling in love with you Kerry" stiffening up slightly her eyes looking back at him "don't" feeling his fingers on her lips brushing across them, before feeling his lips upon hers as her arms wrap around his body despite trying to resist him she couldn't deep down she wanted him her heart overruling her head. Feeling his hands moving under her shirt before undoing it and her pants as her hands move to undo his clothes feeling his body pressed against hers all rational thoughts or any thoughts leaving her, the hunger and desire for Lawson over riding everything else.
Hearing the alarm go off, feeling Lawson's arms draped across her body holding her tight against his body they had made their way to bed the early hours of the morning, rolling over onto her back her eyes staring up at her ceiling what was she doing she should have had dinner and sent him home as rude as that was it was the right thing to do feeling his hands run across her face again before seeing him on his side looking into her eyes his arms reaching around pulling her towards him "we're going to be late" any words silenced by his mouth trying to say "Lawson" instead feeling his body on top of her.
Pushing him gently off her later on "get out of here or you will be late" a smile on his face leaning on his elbow "I could always phone in sick" shaking her head slightly gently hitting him feeling his hands grasp her arms pulling her down on the bed one hand staying firmly on her arm whilst the other hand moving down her body feeling his hand moving around giving in to him as a moan escapes her "Lawson" trying to say more before giving in to him
Watching him move away from her a while later as she lies on the bed getting her breathing under control leaning down whispering to her "something to remember during the day and keep you going until tonight" sitting up on the bed, could she lead him on was she leading him on, part of her didn't want to give him up wanted more and more to be with him to have more nights last night and this morning, to feel his touch again to make love to him again but reality was he could do much better than her. Walking towards the bathroom turning to face him at the door seeing a smile on her face "who's the one who's going to be late now Kerry" shaking her head slightly "I don't have a starting time, unlike some and I need a shower" raising his eyes at her "want me to join you I need one too" starting to close the door "no, if you leave now you can just manage one before your shift " closing the door once a smart arse always going to be one.
Feeling the water running over her what was she doing why can't she let him go she needs to tell him that they can't continue if only it was anyone else but Lawson she was just so bad at this.
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Walking into base seeing one of the cars still there he should of left before now, walking into the locker room seeing Lawson and Stella and Michael still there "considering the time, I would of expected no one here" seeing all 3 look at her as Stella picks up her things "we were just leaving, Lawson just takes forever" her eyes moving to Lawson seeing them questioning her raising her eyes at him "what are you waiting for" seeing him shake his head moving out of the locker room her eyes following him screwing up her face slightly "damn" before rubbing her hands over her face sitting down on the table in the middle was she trying to get him to break up with her they had just spent an amazing night together no she was doing her job and Lawson wasn't going to be treated any different.
Hearing her phone beep a short while later, she knew who it was opening it up the message brief "what was that about" closing it up, they needed to talk she just wasn't good at having any talk about relationships what so ever.
Looking up from her cubicle seeing Lawson leaning against the door a small smile on her face her eyes looking around "you going to be finished soon" shaking her head "I'm going to be a while, got a shit load to do" walking closer to her "want me to come over later" rubbing her eyes looking up at him "I'm going to be here a while, don't know when I will be going home, I'll see you tomorrow" nodding at Kerry trying not to show his disappointment was she giving him the brush off, he thought they had a great time last night he was sure she enjoyed it "don't work too hard, I'll see you tomorrow"
Watching as he walks out, picking up the glass next to her she didn't have to be here, she had done all her work, it was easier this way, he wouldn't stay whilst she was at the base leaning back on the chair, she needs to speak to him to tell him it is over as tough and hard as she is as a policewoman she was hopeless at relationships.
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Opening the door she knew who it was she had arrived late and left early, avoiding was better than having to make excuses she should of known though that he would come over, leaving the door open as Lawson follows her inside walking over grabbing her glass of wine before turning to face him "what's going on here Kerry?" her eyes moving around the room before facing on him "what do you mean?" watching as he walks over to her touching her arm "your avoiding me at work, yesterday morning, not answering my phone calls or texts, talk to me here" her eyes looking down slightly "yesterday morning, none of you should have been there, if you were waiting for me to arrive Lawson, this shouldn't affect your job" moving both hands to his shoulders "it isn't, what is this really about"
Moving away from him "this isn't going to work out, I can't do it" looking at Kerry "do what?" her eyes moving side to side before resting on him "this, whatever this is, I wish I could it just wouldn't work out between us" moving closer to her "how would you know you haven't even given this a chance" turning to face him her eyes fixed on him "we are so different" moving closer to her his voice soft "different can be good" shaking her head "we would just end up fighting" a small smile on his face "we already do" her eyes not moving from him "you know what I mean, I just can't risk it" moving closer to him finding his lips the kiss soft and gentle before moving away slightly feeling his hands on her face moving her hair away from her face his touch was so soft and gentle feeling her resolve weaken slightly shaking her head she has to be strong, it won't work out he needs someone better than her moving his hand away "don't, I think you should go"
His eyes looking at Kerry she was breaking up with him, he had guessed something was happening avoiding his calls and texts he had hoped he could change her mind, he wanted to be with her "I can't change your mind" shaking her head, how she wished he could "its been good, but I can't have the team find out about us, I'm your superior your boss, you need someone you can take out, we can't do that I can't risk it" touching her arm "life is full of risks Kerry, I am happy with the way things are, we can do many things staying at home that we can't do out" a small smile forming on her face her voice soft "I'm so bad at this" moving away from him "don't" moving towards the bench facing him "Just go Lawson"
Looking at Kerry her back turned to him as she walks over to the bench he understands where she is coming from but wishes she would give them a go, his voice soft "you wouldn't regret it Kerry"
Picking up the glass of wine from the bench turning to Lawson "I'll see you tomorrow at work" watching as he walks out "the first interview is tomorrow afternoon, with the following ones the next 3 days" nodding at Kerry, he wished things had turned out differently, he did really like her a lot and had enjoyed the past week with her, her touch her body he had just wanted more and more of her. Walking over to her looking into her eyes leaning down to kiss her, the gentle kiss turning more passionate, feeling Lawson's hands move under her shirt before undoing her buttons, pushing him away from her "I can't do this Lawson, it's over you need to go now" moving away from him her eyes hardening watching as he walks to the front door "be back at base by 2 pm for the first interview"
Closing the door behind him had he hoped he could change her mind he could feel that she wanted it like he did, despite it all he wished it was more he wanted to feel her body next to his again, he should of known she had a vulnerability that she never showed she was tough but underneath it all it was there.
Watching the door close sitting on the lounge filling up her glass, she wished it had been different but it was over it would never of worked out, her resolved had nearly weakened a few times she needed to be strong not let her feelings get in the way for what she needed to do, it wouldn't work out he deserved someone better someone who wasn't her. .
