Chapter 7: A Sinister Conspiracy

Six Hours Before Programming of Animaniacs…

*The screen cuts to the main square of Burbank, which is the center of the show's programming. A staff member of Dot's studio is checking the list of everything needed to prepare the show.*

Studio Staff Member: All preparations for the show are complete, Miss Dot.

Dot: (excited and claps her hands) Excellent! Soon, cartoons will be reborn. We'll be the greatest stars ever once again! The time has come. (turns to another staff member holding the lights) Hey, be careful with those lights! We've got six hours until showtime! Jiminy Cricket's hat, is anything more worthless than a film student?

*Meanwhile, the main cast of Animaniacs, including the imposter Yakko, is putting make-up, wearing clothes, and preparing themselves as dynamic music plays. From the sunlight, the Animaniacs appeared, walking in slow motion.*

Dot: Oooooh! That was awesome! Where's Buttons?

*Buttons appears, this time without wearing his butler uniform.*

Buttons: I'm here just in time! I'm ready for anything!

Dot: (fired up) Alright! Are you all with me?!

*The Animaniacs shouted in their approval. Meanwhile, Wakko is still with Yakko at the abandoned animation studio.*

Yakko: It's been a long time coming, bro. You saved my life, and I thank you. Such is the bond between brothers. Five years imprisoned in this abandoned studio, eating rats… Drinking nothing but sewage and eating rats to survive. Did I mention I have to eat rats, Wakko?

Wakko: Yakko, the Animaniacs are planning to bring back the show, and some guy is posing as you. So… I need to know what the "H" is going on, man.

Yakko: It started about five years ago, eleven years to be exact, after the end of the era of cartoons, I was living in peace at the peak of Mt. Yarigatake in Japan, when the new CEO of Warner. Bros Studios, Jamie Kellner, showed up at my doorstep.

*In a flashback, Yakko and Kellner bowed at each other to symbolize their greeting as per Japanese.*

Wakko: Jamie Kellner? That's the guy who ran Animaniacs out of business!

Yakko: Shh! Be quiet and listen to the flashback…

*As the flashback continued, Yakko was pouring his own tea. (Please be reminded that flashbacks are presented in italics.)*

Kellner: It's been a long time, hasn't it, Yakko, old friend? In truth, we haven't met since the cancellation of your show.

Yakko: Give me a reason why not to invite the man who destroyed animation. You've been on a power trip, you've abused your authority, you created bad cartoon shows, and you ruined every cartoon's lives.

Kellner: At this very age, it's what's best for business. But come on! We're friends, remember? Can't we just forgive and forget? Cartoons may be insensitive and violent in the 90's, but who can forget new kinds of animation? Disney, Pixar, Dreamworks… This is the 20th Century! People create new types of animation to spread joy and happiness to all those who are deserving.

Yakko: So what?

Kellner: However, for all of the dedicated fans of cartoon animation the world over… The hardcore ones, to be exact, they wanted to long for the days of 90's cartoon glory. All these fans think that the studios don't give a hoot about their favorite creations anymore. That is why I wanted to visit you, Yakko, and make it all up to you. All I'm trying to do is to make things right. Is there something you mighty need?

Yakko: Again, so what? Is there a point in all this babbling of yours?

Kellner: The point is… everybody wants to be a… an Animaniac.

*Yakko is envious of Kellner's idea.*

Kellner: Don't you see how empty and broken the world is now? All of the rage from the fanboys has made the power of animation a shell of what it is! They all wish that this whole world is the perfect spot for a cartoon show, and the stars up above are the cameras, the paparazzi, and the audience giving a big applause. The people wanted to be the stars. The people wanted to be cartoons. And not just the men, but the women. And the kids too.

Yakko: Kids?

Kellner: That's right. Kids. Are. Bored! They are bored of the same fun activities, games and outdoors they play over and over again. They want something even better than just mere fun activities, games and outdoors. They don't want karate, wrestling, super-soakers, slinkies, pogs… They want something with more "cartoon fire". They want to be ZANY.

*Yakko laughs hysterically at this expense, but regains his calm composure.*

Yakko: You want me to teach kids how to be cartoons?

Kellner: That's right! And with every people turning into cartoons every day, new stars will be born on Earth! You and your siblings Wakko and Dot have been the greatest stars in the history of Warner Bros. since 1930. And your zaniness is amazing powerful. You are perfection. And it's time you share it with everybody else.

Yakko: (angry) So that's what it is… You're planning to exploit us.

Kellner: I'm offering you this chance to share your gift with the world. Join me, Yakko. And I'll make your face the greatest of all cartoons!

Yakko: (protesting) The power of zaniness is both a gift and a curse! It's an ancient, secret technique handed down to us cartoons for generations. Many of our ancestors and their yaks died protecting that secret. I would not dishonor the cartoon tradition!

*Kellner gives Yakko a ton of cash generously.*

Yakko: You would not go unrewarded.

*Yakko is still angry. He took the cash and burned it with his candles.*

Yakko: Tell your friends at Warner Bros. to take your proposal and shove it.

Kellner: (pitiful) Oh… I'm sorry you feel that way, Yakko.

*Kellner pulls out a straw and fires a paper ball down Yakko's throat, rendering him unconscious. He then proceeded to have his minions burn his house down and kill his family as the flashback ends.*

Yakko: (sobbed) They burned everything I own to ashes. They killed my family… They creamed my yaks… It's terrible…!

*Wakko comforts a weeping Yakko by patting him at the back.*

Wakko: There, there.

*Yakko wiped his tears.*

Yakko: Anyways… After that, Kellner stole the secret scrolls of the old Warner tradition and kept them for his own. But Kellner knew that he needed the name of any Warner to sell our zaniness, including the franchise. He needed someone to steal my identity.

*In another flashback, Kellner arrived at a familiar tree house and made a deal with a familiar squirrel.*

Kellner: I have a proposition for you…

Yakko: And "he" would make the obvious choice. Someone capable of ingenuity, intimidation, disguise… and most of all… innocence.

*The one Kellner made a proposition with is none other than a grown-up Skippy Squirrel, sporting an evil smile.*

Yakko: Skippy Squirrel.

Wakko: (shocked) Slappy's nephew is the imposter Yakko?!

Yakko: Skippy joined Kellner's ranks out of jealousy and hatred for two things; the Warner Brothers and the Warner Sister for overshadowing her aunt Slappy, and Slappy herself for abandoning him to an orphanage. So Kellner had laid out his scheme. Skippy would uncover the secrets of our zaniness, and then work with Warner Bros. to create a mighty "zany empire". Remember the campaign of Zany Potion No.9? The new quality product that turns normal kids into zany kids?

*In another flashback, it shows two kids drinking Zany Potion No.9 and beginning to go cartoon-crazy.*

Wakko: I guess that makes sense…

Yakko: From that point on, the Animaniacs franchise took off with my name, and Kellner got his empire while I wept… and ate rats.

Wakko: But Pinky and Brain said that Skippy was dead. And Mindy claimed to be the only one who witnessed the murder and saw his dead body.

Yakko: That brings us to one week ago…

*In another flashback, Skippy disguised as Yakko gave money to Mindy for assassination.*

Skippy: Kill any kid squirrel you want. I just can't have him looking for Skippy Squirrel.

Mindy: Like a Sonic the Hedgehog-Sally Acorn kid or a Chinese anime squirrel kid?

Skippy: I said any kid squirrel. Why do you even care?

Yakko: When news of the Animaniacs' show revival skyrocketed all over Burbank, Kellner was fearful; he thought that the show would directly threaten his "zany empire". So he developed an obsession to get rid of every one of us.

Wakko: But why get rid of all of us?

*A dark thunderstorm hovers over Kellner, bursting with evil intent.*

Kellner: Copyright infringement.

Yakko: In order to kill all the Animaniacs, he needed someone with a vendetta; a killing machine that felt no remorse.

*An evil aura looms over Skippy-Yakko and Runt, Kellner's henchmen. Runt lets out a menacing bark.*

Yakko: Skippy's henchmen are professionally-trained assassins that are no longer cartoons. They are brutal Street Fighters who see fighting as a Mortal Kombat and they have the Killer Instinct. If we don't help our friends, this may be their final appearance on TV.

*Wakko immediately stood up.*

Wakko: That's right! Our friends are in danger! We have to save them all!

Yakko: Take me with you. I know I may be weak while staying in that studio, but I'm still determined to save the day, Animaniacs-style. We have to stop Kellner before his twisted dream is realized. We'll do it if we work together! So what do you say, brother?

Wakko: You got it! The Warner Brothers are back!

*The two brothers locked hands with each other. The final battle has begun!*