Chapter 8: The Show Begins

*Back at the studio, everyone is ready for the satellite programming. Dot stands over the main square of Burbank with TV viewers all over the world watching and the Animaniacs cast at the ready.*

Dot: Ladies and gentlemen! Are you ready for the return of Animaniacs?!

*Everyone cheers at this announcement. Dot gives the signal to the cameramen and the live via satellite feed team.*

Studio Staff Member: Okay, we're going live in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

*On TV, the Animaniacs intro and theme song is presented on TV via worldwide satellite viewing.*

It's time for An-i-man-i-acs!
And we're zany to the max,
So just sit back and relax,
You'll laugh 'til you collapse
We're An-i-man-i-acs!

Come join the Warner Brothers,
And the Warner Sister, Dot,
Just for fun we run around the Warner movie lot,
They lock us in the tower,
Whenever we get caught,
But we break loose and then vamoose,
And now you know the plot!

We're An-i-man-i-acs!
Dot is cute and Yakko yaks,
Wakko packs away the snacks,
While Bill Clinton plays the sax,
We're An-i-man-i-acs!

Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe,
Goodfeathers flock together, Slappy whacks 'em with her purse
Buttons chases Mindy, while Rita sings a verse
The writers flipped, we have no script,
Why bother to rehearse?!

We're An-i-man-i-acs!
We have pay-or-play contracts!
We're zany to the max,
There's baloney in our slacks,
We're Animani-
Totally insane-y
The rain in Spain-y
An-i-man-i-acs! Those are the facts!

TV Announcer: After more than 15 years of waiting, the world's greatest cartoons return! It's the golden era of cartoons reborn… to the MAX!

*The worldwide viewers cheered uproariously.*

TV Announcer: And now it's time for our first episode of the series… a Rita and Runt cartoon!

*The Rita and Runt theme song plays.*

Like Abbott and Costello,
Like Sonny and Cher,
Like Martin and Lewis,
They're a perfect pair;
Like Laurel and Hardy
Like Fontanne and Lunt
They're perfectly mismatched,
They're Rita and Runt!

*The viewers are impressed of the song.*

Lucky: Who the heck is this mismatched pair of cat and dog?

Coco: I have no idea, although Cher sounds pretty familiar.

Lucky: Oh yeah, she sings at Caesar's Palace, I think.

Coco: Go Vegas!

*The title of the episode is shown.*

Rita and Runt
Cat Wrestling Diva

*The setting of the episode is a wrestling ring jam-packed with hundreds of fans. Dot, dressed up in a glittering gown, stood in the middle of the ring as the announcer.*

Dot: Ladies and gentlemen, this inter-species match set for one fall is for the World Animal Heavy-Hitter Championship! Introducing the challenger, the singing stray cat looking for a home, Rita Bella!

*Rita appears from the titantron, dressed up in awesome wrestling gear, smiling and hi-fiving the fans.*

Rita: Being a celebrity ain't half bad. Because…

*Taking that cue, Rita sings while making her way to the ring.*

There's no place like home, for the square ring
'Cause no matter how far away, you can't feel a thing
Even when retirement people have their way,
For the square ring's a home sweet home where you stay

I met a dog who lives in Las Vegas,
And he was headin' for,
Burbank and some California's city No.24
Some folks are travelling down to San Diego's sunny shore
From Pacific to Pacific
The traffic was terrific!

Oh, there's no place like home, for the square ring
'Cause no matter how far away, you can't feel a thing
Even when retirement people have their way,
For the square ring's a home sweet home where you stay!

*As the song ends, Rita is prepared to face the other wrestler. Meanwhile, the TV viewers cheered on for such a beautiful song.*

Dot: And her opponent, the champion, definitely a dog… thing… the Litter Runt!

*Runt comes from the titantron, in his own wrestling gear, showing off his ego in front of the booing fans as he makes his way into the ring. All two wrestlers meet each other in the square circle.*

Rita: So, Litter Runt… Are you ready to see who the best on brains and brawn is?

Runt: Oh, we'll see. Definitely, we'll see. (laughs mischievously)

Dot: And now, let the wrestling action commence!

*As the episode progresses, the bell rings. Rita and Runt charged at each other and wrestled many times. They wrestle and continue to wind up in twisted positions. They spin around and wind up wrestling with themselves. They realize this, and dive back at each other. Runt sits on top of Rita, with evil intent in his eyes, holding her legs and snapped her bones hard, forcing Rita to scream in pain.*

Rita: (agonized) Aaaaahhh! Aaaaahhh! RUUUUNNNNTTTT!

*Runt drags Rita up, grabs her body, flies up in the air and smashed her with a Spinning Piledriver. The world viewers are shocked of Runt's vicious behavior. Rita stands up, barely able to stand.*

Rita: R-R-Runt… Aren't you taking it a bit too…

*Runt didn't listen, and he continuously smashed her up into a pulp with many signature moves similar to Zangief or Hugo from Street Fighter. Rita was left into a heap with broken bones and shattered teeth.*

Rita: Runt… What are you… doing? This… isn't what… we talked… about…

Runt: These people paid to watch us on TV. Besides, we have no script. We can do what we want to do. Why do you ask?

Rita: (screams in pain) WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!

Runt: I'm a dog, and I know now that you're not a dog after all. You're a cat!

Rita: Uh-oh. He finally guessed who I am after all those years?

Runt: (dog's rage) Come here, Cat! I'M GONNA MOP THE FLOOR WITH YOU!

Rita: (screaming in fear) HEEEEELLLLLPPPP!

*Meanwhile, in another location in Burbank, Yakko and Wakko are dashing straight for the Animaniacs studio.*

Yakko: Where's the studio?!

Wakko: Straight ahead! At the center of the city!

*Back at the TV viewing, Rita is fighting back against Runt with her lightning fast Chun-Li kicks, but Runt shoves her down.*

Dot: (impressed) One point for the dogs. (rings the gong)

*Runt picks a weakened Rita up for the final blow.*

Runt: (evil smile) Your fur and whiskers will make a fine coat!

*Runt slams Rita with the Final Atomic Buster. The final hit crushes Rita by the skull, rendering her unconscious.*

Brain: Something's not right… What's going on?

*Wakko appears on the TV viewing, seeing that Rita is taken down by Runt.*

Wakko: (desperate) Rita! Hold on! I'll save you!

*Runt turns to Wakko and growls menacingly.*

Runt: (furious) You stupid Warner! You shouldn't have come here! Get out of here! This is MY show!

Wakko: Oh, YEAH?!

*Wakko takes his hat and pulls out of it a giant laser cannon from the Halo series.*

Runt: (extremely shocked) A SPARTAN LASER?! No way… It can't be!

Wakko: BOMBS AWAY!

*Wakko fires the Spartan Laser on Runt, hitting the screaming dog on impact as the laser flashes and instantly vaporized his body into a pile of dust, with Runt's two eyeballs intact, indicating he is still alive but unable to move. It's a cartoon gag from the classics.*

Runt: (in a muffled voice) Impossible… You got your zaniness back… But how…

Dot: (amazed) Holy cow…! He regained his zaniness because he believed. Everyone knows friendship and love is the strongest power of all.

*The world TV viewers cheered in amazement of what happened. Wakko is delighted that he got his zaniness back, only to be stunned at the back by Skippy-Yakko, who is angered at this expense.*

Skippy-Yakko: I'm sorry to do this, brother, but you're interfering with the grand fruit of my scheme. This is MY show, not yours.

Slappy: Hey, Yakko! What on earth is that?

Wakko: (recovers) That's not Yakko! That's Skippy! Skippy Squirrel! Slappy's nephew!

Dot: That's ridiculous! Skippy's dead!

Squit: And a kid squirrel!

Wakko: I'm telling the truth, everybody! Skippy's posing as Yakko! He came here to kill us! Runt, Buttons and Mindy are with him, too! They're all working for Warner Bros.! You have to believe me!

*Everybody in Burbank and all the TV viewers are left confused.*

Mindy: He's crazy!

*While everybody is confused, Yakko appears in front of Skippy, his face shaved and his appearance almost the same as his original one, but he is wearing a scarf and two mittens.*

Yakko: You used to be the ever-happy sidekick of Slappy the Slap-Happy Squirrel, Skippy. Now, you're nothing but a loser.

Skippy: (frustrated) You mouthy-little punk! I thought I threw you in that abandoned studio years ago…!

Brain: The real Yakko…

Slappy: Holy mother of pearl! Skippy is still alive… I can't believe my nephew's alive! But… Why do I get the feeling that those two are alike?