Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable.

A/N: let me start by saying that I am so sorry for those of you where were waiting for an update... I know that it has been way too long... and there really is no excuse other than writers block is a bitch. Lol any way here is what I have to offer trying to keep the peace. I hope you like the good news that awaits...

3 months later

Olivia looked at the little white stick. Another negative.

It had been three months since her and Elliot had gotten together, got engaged, decided to move in together, and try to start a family. Elliot immediately moved in to Olivia's apartment after they had their talk. Things were just starting to calm down. Elliot was starting to get into Olivia's at home routines and Olivia was starting to realize that Elliot never had an at home routine.

As Olivia sat on the toilet in her bathroom looking at the stick in her hand, she took a deep sigh. This was the 5th test this week. She had taken one test a day everyday. She wanted one to say positive. She wanted to have a baby so bad. Since her and Elliot agreed to have a child it was like that was all that was on her mind.

She just kept looking at the test. Disappointed. Just like she had the last five days.

With another heavy sigh she threw the test in the bin beside the toilet. She stood up and walked out of the bathroom.

When she walked out into the living room she saw Elliot watching baseball. When he heard her shut the bathroom door behind her, he stood up and had a hopeful look on his face.

Olivia looked at him with tears in her eyes.

He jumped over the couch and ran to hug her. "its ok baby, Rome wasn't built in a day these things take time."

"I know but I just want it so bad," she said burying her face in his chest.

"I know I do too. And it will happen I just know it will. You are destined to be a mother. There is plenty of time."

"Elliot I'm almost 47 years old my biological clock is ticking very loudly. And its echoing," she said looking up at him. "all I hear is tick tick tick tick. And I just want it to stop."

"I know baby and like I said it will we will have a baby and I love you and I want you to stop stressing its hard to conceive if you are stressed." he said holding her face in his hands. He leaned in and kissed her passionately. "but hey look at the bright side of things. The more negatives you have the more we get to try for a positive."

Olivia gave a light chuckle, "you are such a man." she gave him a peck on the cheek. "what time is it?"

Elliot looked at his watch, "it is 8:00."

"We have to get to work." she said walking over to the coat rack, and grabbing her coat.

"Why cant we call in?" he said walking over to her and wrapping his hands around her waist.

"Because baby we have a job to do and we have to do our exam with George today. Remember?"

"That is why I wanted to call in." he smiled.

"If we don't do it today El then we have to reschedule and I don't want to do that he was nice enough to see us. The least we can do is keep the appointment."

"Ok that sounds fair I guess."

"Thank you. Now I'm driving," Olivia said grabbing the keys from the hook.

"Umm ok this time," he said grabbing his suit jacket from the chair. And following her out the door.

XXX

Olivia and Elliot walked in to George's office. Olivia greeted him with a hug and Elliot with a hand shake.

"Thank you for seeing us George it means a lot to us." Olivia said sitting down.

"Of course Olivia, anything I can do to help. So you guys are here today, because they want to see if you can handle both your jobs and being a couple."

"Yea we think we can but we have to have it on paper." Elliot said.

"Yes as always. So why don't we go ahead and do these sessions separate that way we can determine where you both are as a person."

"I thought the point of this was to evaluate us as a couple."

"Yes Elliot it is but we have to make sure that you are stable. Not that you will last as a couple but will you jeopardize your job to be a couple? Will you be able to handle everything thrown at you as a couple while on the job? Will all this work out in the end? That is what I have to figure out. And I have to do it in sessions not a single one with you both. Now I would like to start with Olivia. So Elliot if you would wait out in the other room that would be appreciated."

Elliot looked at George with a sour face. He stood up. Leaned down and gave Olivia a kiss on the forehead and walked out.

"George I'm sorry about that Elliot is just tired of defending us. And you know how he is with doctors."

"Olivia it is quite alright there is no need to apologize. Now why don't we get started. Lets start from the beginning. When did you realized you loved Elliot?"

Olivia's face became soft. She smiled, "well honestly it was like love at first sight. Obviously there was an attraction. I think when I was told I was going to be working with him I was excited and then I seen the ring. And I was almost disappointed. But I also think that I was maybe a little relieved."

"Why were you relieved?"

"I think its because I didn't want to have to face the fact that I was attracted to him. I think that I was afraid he would never want to be with me."

"Why would he not want to be with you?"

"Because of all that I went through as a child. My mom told me that I was worthless, and I guess that I on some level believed it."

"When someone is told something their whole lives they begin to live and feel what they have been told. And its never the case." George said with an understanding look.

"With my mother it was always that I was worthless. Or that I was never going to amount to anything."

"But you have. That should have built your self worth a little."

"It did. But there was still a little voice in my head that reminded me that I was the worst thing that ever happened to her and that made me feel guilty."

"There was nothing that you could have done to have prevented it Olivia. You are the product of a rape not the cause of it."

"i know and now I have come to term with that. I know now that it was nothing I did that made my mother the way she was. I could have been the best daughter in the world, but it never would have mattered. I know that it would have not made a difference she still would have been an alcoholic. She still would have hated me. And I know that now. When it happened it hurt and it still does, but now I'm older and I know what she went through."

"Lets fast forward a little how did you feel when Kathy filed for divorce?"

"The first time?"

"Yes."

"Well I felt sad. And happy. Selfish. Depressed."

"Why were you sad?"

"My best friends marriage was falling apart. I was sad for him."

"And you why were you happy?"

"He was going to be single and we had grown over the years we were partners and friends and I thought that I would maybe have a chance to be with him. I felt selfish because I wanted the divorce to go through so that I could possibly tell him that I loved him. And I was depressed because I was being so selfish. I didn't care that his family was falling apart. That his life was over. All I cared about was that I wanted him. That I loved him."

"Why didn't you tell him then?"

"His divorce wasn't final and then even if it did go through it would have been too soon. And then it was too late. Kathy told him that she was pregnant. And that was that."

"How did you react to that?"

"At first it was just a shock. And then of course I was happy for Elliot because he was happy. But once again I knew that she was all wrong for him I knew that it would never last."

"Lets talk about your past relationships," George said making a couple notes on the pad of the paper in front of him.

"Can we skip that part?" Olivia said shifting in her seat.

"Olivia I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. But I do have one question and that's it. Why don't you want to talk about it?"

"I have had a lot of problems with men in the past. I am going on 47 years old and I can not say that I have had a successful relationship until now. I love Elliot. I think that I love him more for the fact that he is the longest relationship that I have ever had with a man. I have this feeling that it is because I didn't have a father figure in my life. My mother was always drunk so if there was a man that she brought home he was always gone by morning. And with what happened to her that made me a little untrusting of men. I have had plenty of relationships. But I think I secretly knew that they were all going to fail. And on some level I think I wanted them to fail. After I met Elliot I didn't want to have anyone but him. And even the men that I was with that called it off themselves I think that I subconsciously wanted them to fail so that he could be my knight in shining armor and come to save me from the heartache."

"And did he?"

"Yes he did."

"Why don't you tell me about that night when he told you he loved you."

"When I went to Sealview I was sexually assaulted." Olivia started, "when I got out only a few people knew. I didn't want to tell Elliot. I didn't want him to beat himself up. Three months ago it had been five years since it happened. And Elliot came over to check on me. He knew the whole time. I guess that even though I didn't tell him verbally he knew from my actions that something was off. Well one thing led to another and we ended up engaged the next day. And the next thing I know we were planning this life together."

"How do you feel about the way things were happening. It all seems fast."

"It was overwhelming and scary but we talked about it every step of the way. And I realized that this is the life that I wanted and that this is the life that I was meant to have. I just wish that I would have told him sooner. Maybe then we wouldn't be having a hard time conceiving."

"You are trying to have a baby?"

"I think we are. We want what I have waited so long for. A family. I love Elliot, George. And there is nothing that you say in those questions that will make me say less. I know that it seems like this is all going so fast. Trust me I have said that more times than I can count. But I know that this is what I want. And I know given the chance, we can make it work. We both love our jobs. I know that it says that we shouldn't be both partners and be in a relationship, but George we aren't doing anything different than before. The only difference is that now we go home together at the end of the day. We don't let our personal life hinder our professional life any more than usual. And we have been working together and living together for the last three months. Not one time have we gotten distracted."

"What about the colt case?"

"That was the fastest case I have ever solved." Olivia said furrowing her eyebrows.

"That was also the case that you released valuable information to a key witness."

"I know and I had a lot of things on my mind."

"What if that happens again?"

"It wont."

"How do you know that what it does. And what if the next time its not as innocent as last time."

"It wont happen again." Olivia said more firmly. "i know what I did was wrong I know that it was a mistake that should have never been made. And I know that it could have been a lot worse than it was and the fact that it wasn't doesn't excuse that it could have been."

"What if you get pregnant?"

"I can be on active duty until I'm six months. Then I can be on desk duty till I'm eight months and then I will go on maternity leave."

"How will Elliot react?"

"We will fight about it but its not like we haven't fought before. We have been partners for a long time. It was almost like we were together the whole time. We have loved each other for a long time the only difference is that we have admitted it to each other."

"Are you happy, Olivia?"

"George I have never been more happy in my life. I finally feel like I'm where I need to be. And when not if but when Elliot and I have our child my life will be complete."

"Have you thought of the possibility you may not be able to conceive?"

Olivia's eyes began to water. "i have," tears began to fall down her cheeks. "i don't want to face it. I love children and I have always wanted children but I didn't have the relationship to have a child. I didn't have the relationship because I was married to my job. And now that I have a relationship that I get to share with my job the thought of not having children just because of my age devistates me."

"Where would your life be then?"

"Honestly George I ask myself the same thing everyday. And I have yet to come up with an answer. I love Elliot and I know he loves me too. And I know he has five children and I can just do for them as I would as if they were my own but its just not the same feeling. I want my own child."

George was making more notes on his paper. "Olivia I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you have all that you deserve." he said standing up.

"Thank you George." Olivia said standing up. She walked over to him and gave him a hug. She then started for the door.

George followed.

Once they got out to the other room Elliot stood up and gave Olivia a hug and kissed on her forehead. "I guess its my turn?" Elliot said looking at George.

"If you could please come in and sit down Elliot we can get started." George said as they both walked in the office with the door shutting behind them.

"I have to tell you before we start that I think this is ridiculous that we have to go through this. Me and Olivia have been partners for years and now we have to be evaluated just because we are a couple. I don't like the idea of you doubting that we can do both be in a relationship and do our jobs. We have had relationships in the past and we never had to be evaluated. But because we are partners we do. I don't like it." Elliot stated when George sat in his seat behind the desk.

"Elliot there is no need to be defensive in here. I am completely neutral. I am here just to give my opinion on whether I think that your relationship will compromise your duty as a detective. I have to ask you a series of questions and I want you to answer as honestly as you can. Lets start with when did you first realize you loved Olivia?"

Elliot's face became soft. "It was love at first sight." he said with a smile. "When I first saw her she stole my heart. I know I was married and I know I had four children at the time, but there was just something about her that I knew that I was in the wrong marriage. I knew that this woman was the one I should be with. I knew that she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with."

"Why did you marry Kathy if you weren't in love with her?"

"We had a child on the way. I needed to be the man and I needed to step up. I had to do what was right for my family. It was bad enough that I had per-marital sex, but to have a child out of wedlock was a mortal sin. I couldn't face that. And I was young I didn't really know what love was. I thought I loved her until I met Olivia and then I realized that I had been living a lie my whole life."

"Why did you stay married if you realized you didn't love Kathy."

"I'm Catholic. Its a sin to be divorced. Once you are married that's forever."

"But you got a divorce?"

"That wasn't my choice. She filed for divorce. Not me."

"Why did she file for divorce?"

"She thought that I was having an affair with Olivia." Elliot said looking at his hands.

"But you weren't?"

"Of course not we were partners and that was it. I loved her yes but I would never have cheated on my wife. I wouldn't want to cause Kathy any heartache. I loved her. I just wasn't in love with her. She was not the woman that I could share my whole life with. I couldn't come home and talk about the case of a rapist with her. I couldn't come home and talk about a serial murderer with her. I felt like I would be tainting an innocent mind. I didn't want to be the window to evil for my family."

"So there was no communication at home?"

"We talked just not about work. I couldn't have them living in fear. I didn't want them to think that I wasn't going to be able to protect them from the evil I seen everyday. When I could and I did and I still do."

"Do you still have feelings for Kathy?"

"Of course I do she is the mother of my children. We were married for 20 years. Am I in love with her? No and I haven't been for a very long time."

"How is your current relationship with Kathy?"

"Perfect. We don't fight like we used to, we don't get as angry as we did. We are friends. We talk. We joke. We get along. Just like we should. We have five children together. We have to stay friends. And I wouldn't want it any other way. I thought we were here to talk about me and Olivia not me and Kathy."

"We are but you have to remember that I have to evaluate you as a person not you as a couple. So lets fast forward a little bit. How did you feel when Kathy filed for divorce?"

"I was devastated. I loved my family. I didn't want to break that up. I wanted to keep us all together. I didn't want to sign the papers but I knew I had to. I knew if I didn't then Kathy would grow to regret and loath me. I may not have been in love with her but I still cared about her. I still wanted to make it work."

"Because you thought that you were going to go to hell if you didn't?"

"No because she was the mother of my children and I couldn't bare seeing anything happen to her."

"When your divorce was final why didn't you tell Olivia that you loved her?"

"Because I had just went through a divorce. I wanted to be with Olivia. I did, but I wasn't ready and I couldn't admit that I loved her then. I couldn't even admit it to myself."

"Lets talk about Sealview."

"That never should have happened I should have been there. I should have saved her. It would have never gotten close to that far."

"But you weren't there. And you couldn't have saved her. You are religious. You know that if there is something that you have to go through then you are going to go through it there is nothing that you can do to stop it. It wasn't your fault."

"It is. I shouldn't have let her go. I should have stopped her. There must have been another way to get Harris she didn't have to go there."

"She made her own choices."

"Are you blaming her?"

"Elliot you know me better than that." George quickly snapped. "you know number one I would never want anything bad to happen to Olivia and you know that I would never wish what happened to her on anyone."

"I know and I apologize I just was trying to protect her."

"You cant always protect her Elliot."

"I can try my damnedest."

"Why didn't you ever tell Olivia that you knew what happened at sealview?"

"Because I wanted her to talk to me when she was ready. She had been through enough. I didn't want to push her over the edge when she had just been traumatized."

"Why did you choose the anniversary of the most horrific moment in her life to tell her you loved her?"

"Because I wanted her to remember that day for something good. Not what that bastard did."

"How did your ex wife take the news of you being with Olivia?"

"Better than we thought. She was nervous. But everyone was ok. We all worked it out and we all still talk on a regular basis."

"You have 5 children with Kathy, why do you think that you want another one with Olivia?"

"Because I know that she has never wanted anything more than a child. I know that she wants a family. She wants something she has never had before. And she deserves it. And I love her. I want her to be happy. And I want to have a child with her. I want to see the glow of motherhood on her face every morning when we wake up. I want to be the one that has to make those late night runs for pickles and ice cream. I want to give her any and everything that I possibly can. And I will. I love her. I love her more than anyone could possibly love another human being. She is the world to me."

"What if Olivia cant conceive?"

"We will try and try and try I want to have a baby and we will. We will adopt if she is unable to have children."

"And what if adoption isn't an option?"

"Its always an option. There is no reason that we couldn't have children."

"Age is a factor. You both are at an age where you should start to have grandchildren not children yourselves."

"Kathy was over 40 when she had Eli. There is nothing wrong with him. And we will be stable and we will have a home that is suitable for a child. There is no reason we wouldn't be accepted."

"What would you do if the results come back that either you have to split up as a couple or split up as a team?"

"I would be lost. Olivia is everything to me she is the reason I found strength to come to work all those years. She is what I know. We have been partners so long that it felt like we were in a relationship. I know her better than she knows herself and she knows me better than I know myself. She calms me. She inspires me to keep going. She is the reason I breath. I love her George. Have you ever loved anyone so much that you cant do anything with out them?"

"Haven't you ever heard time apart makes the heart grow fonder?"

"We have been apart long enough. And its not like we spend every waking minute together. She has her girl nights with Alex and Casey. I have guy nights with Fin and occasionally Munch. We know that too much time together causes problems. People need a release. And most people its when they go to work and with us working together we have to find another way. So we have set aside that extra time where we have me time. And we have made it work this long. We have made it work for 3 months why cant we make it work for 3 lifetimes?"

"Where are you guys as far as the wedding planning?"

"I'm not handling that part because if it was up to me we would have been married a long time ago. I don't want her to feel rushed. I told her when she wants to talk about it and plan it then I will sit down with her and we will talk about. When she is ready."

"Elliot do you think that any of this is going too fast?"

"Honestly George if it was up to me we would have been married the day we said I love you."

"With all that said Elliot I think we are done here. I will meet with you Olivia and Don later in his office. And we will go over the results."

"You cant just tell us now?"

"No its more complicated than that I'm afraid. I not only have to review everything I also have to make my findings official. You will know what is going on later in the day. It will be today for sure. I know that this is killing you not knowing what the the decision will be but I cant say anything until we are in the room with Don and I have it all in writing."

"You have a job to do and I understand that." Elliot said trying to keep his temper at bay. He knew that if he flew off the handle, it would just look bad and George could put negative marks in the report. He didn't think that George would but he wasn't wanting to take any chances. "well I also have a job to do so I think that we should get to doing it," he said standing up. "thank you George for everything." he extended his hand and George accepted.

"No problem Elliot, I have no problem helping when I can."

Elliot turned and walked out of the office.

XXX

Elliot and Olivia had a slow day.

Fin and Munch volunteered, to handle all cases for the day, so that Elliot and Olivia wouldn't be out on call when George showed up. Not that they were very busy either.

"Man I love days like this." Fin said leaning back in his seat.

"Just because we don't have a case doesn't mean ones not out there," Munch put in.

"Man why you gotta do that?"

"Its the truth Fin. I mean thousands upon thousands of sex crimes are happening everyday, just because we don't have a case doesn't mean one isn't happening." Elliot added.

"Its almost time for shift to end where is he?" Olivia said looking at the clock.

"He will be here baby. He gave me his word." Elliot replied.

Just then George walked down the hall and straight into Don's office.

Olivia stood up. She looked at Elliot with fear in her eyes.

Don walked out of his office. "El, Liv can you two come in here for a minute please."

Elliot walked over and grabbed Olivia's hand. "I love you baby, no matter what happens in here. We will stay together forever."

"I love you too baby. I really do. I'm scared."

They walked into Cragen's office. "sit please," Don said as they closed the door behind them.

They sat in the chairs in front of his desk. They scooted the chairs closer so that they could hold hands.

"I have good news and I have bad news." Don started. "which do you want first?"

"Good," Olivia quickly answered before Elliot had the chance.

"The good news is that the findings are that you are clear. You can stay partners and stay together."

"Then what is the bad?" Elliot asked confused.

"The bad is that I think that there should be a probation period." George started. "we cant risk what happened with the colt case to happen again so therefore we are going to be putting you on probation. If it happens again we will have to split you up no matter what."

"How long is this probation?" Olivia asked with tears in her eyes.

"Six months." George answered.

Just then Olivia felt sick. Her stomach rumbled so loud that Elliot looked over at her.

"Are you ok?" Elliot asked.

"I don't feel so good." Olivia said hunched over.

Don got up and walked over to her and rubbed her back. Trying to make the sudden sickness go away.

Just then Olivia spewed all over dons shoes. Not just once but three times. Once she was done, she looked up at Don with tears running down her face. "I am so sorry captain. I don't know what happened it was like I couldn't control it."

"Don't worry about it Olivia I didn't like these shoes anyway." Don said with a light smile. "Olivia are you pregnant?" He asked leaning down to eye level with her.
"No..." she paused. "I just took a test this morning, it was negative."

"Well I think that you should see your doctor. Sometimes home pregnancy test give false negatives." George replied.

"And if you are pregnant we need to know right away." Don stated. "when you know we need to know."

"Yes captain." Olivia said. "I think that its just the nerves that I have had all day waiting for the results I think that I will be fine. Like I said I just too the test this morning. I said no. and I have taken a test every day this week I don't think that I'm pregnant. I just think that its from all the excitement."

"Well I still think that we should listen to the captain Liv. I think that you need to find out for sure." Elliot said squeezing Olivia's hand.

"Now Elliot get her home. She needs to rest." Don said. "and Olivia I mean it rest and then I want you to take tomorrow off and I want you to go the doctor."

Olivia nodded as Elliot helped her out of the office.

XXX

After all the excitement earlier Olivia decided to call and leave a message for her family doctor. Asking if they had an appointment for the next day and to call her back as soon as possible.

Olivia and Elliot sat cuddled on the couch.

"El," Olivia said quietly.

"Yea baby?"

"I love you."

"I love you too. Whats wrong? Are you feeling sick again?"

"No I just wanted to make sure that you knew that. I don't want to get my hopes up with this whole baby thing just yet because I have been taking so many tests. But I can t help to think that there is a baby Stabler in there." she said placing her hands on her stomach.

"I want there to be a little Stabler in there too baby." Elliot said. "and I know that it is hard not to be excited. But we will find out whats going on when you go to the doctor."

"I know. But I'm scared. What if I go tomorrow and they tell me that I cant have a baby?"

"Then we will go right to Alex and see what we can do to start looking into adoption."

Olivia rose up and looked at him. "You mean that?"

"I know that you want a baby and I want to give it to you. And if we cant have one of our own we will adopt one. We help kids all the time that have to be put in the system Liv. Why cant we help one get out. And we can still raise them and they will be ours."

Olivia smiled. "I love you so much." She said a single tear running down her right cheek. "I just want to make you happy. I want to make us happy and I know that this is what will do that. That is why I want a baby Elliot. I want a baby because that is the only thing we don't have to make our lives complete. I know that you have other children, but I want one that we can call ours. Just one... I would be happy with that. I am not saying that I'm not open to adopting because I am. I would love to and we still can even if we have one child. We can adopt just because we both love children and we want to get them out of a bad situation. But I still want to try for one of our own. If they say that we are going to have a hard time conceiving then I will take fertility drugs if I have to. If that is what it takes. All I know is that I want us to have a family. I want to be like the families we see on the television. I want to be Mrs. Clever."

Elliot snickered, "Baby you will never be Mrs. Cleaver."

"Thanks El, I want to give you the life like they had with the picket fence and everything. And I cant that's really reassuring."

"Baby you read it all wrong. You will never be Mrs. Clever because that's not you. You are not the type to sit at home all day while the man goes to work. You are the type to kick ass. And that's one of the things I love about you. I love that you don't know how to bake a pie. I love the fact that I have to make sure that the food is eatable before I put in my mouth because that is what makes you you. I know you want a family but the Cleavers are not us we are more like the Bings."

"The Bings?" Olivia questioned. "How are we like the Bings?"

"Well we were friends for years before we fell in love. And now we are going to be married and we have wonderful friends to support us."

"Yes well there is a little flaw in your comparison." Olivia said smiling big.

"Whats that?"

"Chandler is funny. You are so not funny." she said smirking.

"Oh really? I'm not funny?" he said as he began tickling her.

Olivia was laughing hysterically. "stop El." she begged through the laughter.

"Am I still not funny?" he teased still tickling her.

"Please El. Please." she begged again.

He stopped.

As her laughter started to calm down she kissed him passionately. "i want to marry you."

"That's why I put that ring on your finger baby because I want to marry you too."

"Lets move the wedding up. Lets have it next month."

Elliot's face became serious. "are you sure?" He asked.

"Yes. I want to be Mrs. Elliot Stabler. I cant wait any longer."

"Ok baby well we have the money. I have been putting money away from each check since about 3 months before we got together." Elliot said.

"Really?" Olivia questioned a little shocked.

"Why are you so shocked?"

"Because its as if you knew that we were meant to be together."

"That's because I did know that we were meant to be together. Olivia when George was asking me all those questions I just wanted to stop him and tell him that I know that we can make it work. I wanted to tell him that if they didn't like that we were in love than they could kiss my ass. And I most of all wanted to tell him that just because a piece of paper said that we werent going to be partners and lovers that doesn't mean that we would have stopped. I love you so much that I want you in every aspect of my life. I want you in the good and the bad. And today I thought was going to be pretty bad. I have known that we were going to be together since the day that I met you. When my eyes seen the beauty and grace that your presence held, I was left breathless. My heart wanted to stop. I had never felt like that before. I have felt like that everyday since. And I know that I will feel like that until the day that I die. And nothing that anyone says or thinks that they can do will change that. You are my soul mate. You are my forever."

"Aww I love you baby." Olivia gave Elliot a kiss. "do me one favor."

"Anything baby," Elliot responded.

"Can you pass me the remote?" Olivia asked with a laugh.

Elliot handed her the remote. They cuddled once again.

Olivia flipped through the channels for a moment and settled on one of her favorite television shows. Not that she had much time to watch television, but when she did she would always watch the same thing. It was either anything that was on Lifetime, or TVland, and Friends. She loved the fact that Elliot remembered and compared them to Chandler and Monica earlier. He remembered that it was her all time favorite show. Although she always thought that they were more of the Geller-Green pair herself, the fact that he remembered was sweet.

After three episodes of silence Elliot's arm was falling asleep. "Baby," he started. He quickly realized that she was asleep and decided that it was worth the numbing sensation in his arm that would be left sore in the morning, just so that he didn't have to wake her up.

XXX

The next morning Elliot awoke with Olivia still sound asleep on top of him all cuddled up. He grabbed his phone of the coffee table and checked the time. 7:30.

"Liv, baby wake up." he said lightly shaking her. "Liv honey its 7:30 I have to get ready for work."

Olivia stirred in her sleep. "I love you Alexis. Mommy loves you." she said still sound asleep.

Elliot's heart began to flutter. She was dreaming of their child. A little girl.

Alexis, he thought, what a beautiful name.

"Olivia honey wake up I have to go to work." he said lightly nudgging her again.

Olivia's eyes opened, "do you have to go to work? Cant you stay here with me forever?"

"Well I would love to honey but you have to go to the doctors and I have to go to work captians orders."

"I know that doesn't mean I like it." She said with a pouting face. She stood up and looked at her phone. It was now 7:45.

Elliot stood up off the couch and stretched his arms out. "You know as much as I love the feeling of cuddling and as cute as you are when you fall asleep on me like that I don't think that we can do that very often."

"I have a voice mail." Olivia said dialing the phone. She listened to the message and hung up. "i have a doctor appointment at 2:30."she said.

"Great," Elliot responded.

"No not great cause Don wont let me back to work until I go to the doctor so there for I am stuck here to twiddle my thumbs all day."

"Well look on the bright side at least you can go back to sleep and dream about our beautiful daughter again."

Olivia looked a little shocked. "How do you know what I dreamed?"

"You were talking in your sleep." Elliot said with a grin.

"How much did I say?"

"Just that our daughters name is going to be Alexis."

"Oh ok."

"Why?" Elliot asked confused.

"No reason."

"Liv?"

"Well I dreamt that you left us. And I had to tell our daughter why." Olivia said looking sad.

"Liv that will never happen. I have waited too long to have you in my life to leave you. And I would never leave our child."

"It wasn't by choice Elliot. You were murdered."

Elliot's face softened. "Baby," he walked over and wrapped her in a hug. "I know that it can happen. I would be stupid to say that I didn't realize the dangers we face everyday. And I know that I cant promise that nothing will happen to me but I can promise to be safe. I can promise that I will be cautious."

"I know El," she said as she started to cry, "but I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you."

"Liv, I will do my best to be safe."

"What if your best isn't good enough?" She quickly snapped. She wrapped her self tighter around him and buried her face in his chest.

"Liv look at me."

She didn't move.

"Liv, baby, look at me." He repeated.

"What," she said looking up.

Elliot cupped her face with his hands. "We can do this. We can make it passed this. We can win. All we have to do is believe baby."Elliot took his thumbs and wiped the tears that were falling from her eyes. "We both know what we signed up for. We both know what can happen while we are on the job. And we both knew what that meant when we got together. We both risk our lives everyday. And we both stress about the other. Do you think for one second that I don't worry about you every time you put that gun and badge on? Because I do. Liv, you are my whole world. With out you there is nothing left for me. Even before we were together you were my everything. When ever you would go out on a case alone, or decide to go undercover, or even just simply walk home alone all that ran through my head was that I needed you back. And you always came back and if at all possible so will I."

Tears were now pouring from Olivia's eyes.

"You are I care about Liv."

"Its just that when I'm both at work that means that I cant protect you."

"Liv baby, I can protect myself. And I promise you that if I have to go anywhere today even the coffee shop I will take Fin with me, ok?does that make you feel better?"

She nodded her head.

"Are you ok?"

She nodded again.

"Ok I have to get ready for work now." he kissed her forehead. "I love you baby."

"I love you too."

When Elliot walked out of the bedroom fully showered and dressed, Olivia had a bountiful breakfast waiting for him.

By the time he finished eating his food it was time for him to head to work. He kissed his fiancee goodbye. Before he walked out the door he assured her once again that he would be fine.

XXX

Olivia sat in the waiting room of her doctor's office.

"Benson," a nurse said walking through the door beside the check-in window.

Olivia stood up and followed her down a hallway.

"Ok we will be in exam room 4." the lady said, opening the door.

Olivia walked in behind her and sat on the bed.

"I'm Jennifer ill be your nurse what brings you in today?"

"Well I haven't been feeling well. No fever, no headache, no pain. Just upset stomach and vomiting."

"Are you pregnant?"

"Well I have been taking a test everyday this week and I have had all negatives." Olivia explained.

Jennifer was taking notes on her clip board. "and when was your last menstrual cycle?"

"The 14th of last month."

"Have you had any spotting or unusual discharge?"

"No."

"Frequent or urgent urination?"

"Not really."

"Ok." she made more notes on the clip board.

"Have you eaten anything out of the ordinary in the last week?"

"Nope. Look can I be honest with you?" Olivia said frankly.

"Of course." Jennifer said putting her clipboard aside.

"I only came here so that I could go back to work. My boss said not to come back without a clean bill of health. You see yesterday I was under a lot of stress and I uhh... kinda accidentally threw up all over his shoes. He told me to come here to make sure I wasn't pregnant. Apparently five negatives from home tests ain't good enough. So if we could just skip past all the routine stuff and get right to the test so that I can go back to work that would make my life a lot easier."

"Well I have to check your vitals and then yea that is fine we can get a test going and we will be able to write out weather you are pregnant or not so that you can take it to your boss." Jennifer said with a smile.

Jennifer took all of olivias vitals and walked out of the room. Once she returned she had a clear plastic cup. "Only thing I need you too do is pee in this cup and we can get the test going."

"That's great." Olivia said as she hopped from the bed.

She walked into the bathroom and did as she was told.

When she walked back into the exam room she didn't see Jennifer. Instead it was a woman with short brown hair. And she wasn't in the bubbly scrubs like Jennifer, she was in a white lab coat.

"Hello Olivia I'm Dr. Yorkshore. Now lets see if we can get the show on the road." She said with a smile as she took the cup from Olivia.

Olivia went and sat on the table.

The doctor pulled out a kit from the counter, "so Olivia have you been trying to conceive?"

"Yes but like I told Jennifer I have had 5 negatives in a row. One everyday this week so I'm really just here to get it on paper that I'm not pregnant."

"Well I'm sorry but I cant do that." she said turning around.

Olivia's heart sank, "what do you mean?"

"Well I mean that I just got 3 positive results Olivia congratulations you are in fact pregnant."

"Are you sure?" Olivia asked still not sure if she believed it.

"I'm quite sure. I did the test 3 times and I got the same result each time."

Olivia's eyes began to well up. "I'm pregnant?"

"Yes you most certainly are. Now I'm going to go get you a couple prescriptions. One is for a prenatal vitamin and the other is to calm your stomach." Dr. Yorkshore said before leaving the room.

I cant wait to tell Elliot. Yes I can. I have to. I have to make one stop before I can tell anyone. I have to do this. I have to do it for my baby. And for Elliot. I know that it will mean a lot to him. Then I will tell him. As soon as I get done I will rush to the station and tell everyone together. That's just what I will do I will tell my whole family together.

XXX

Olivia turned off her phone and placed it in her purse. She sat it beside her. She heard the sliding of the divider.

"Forgive me Father for I have sinned."

A/N: well there you go... It has been forever since I updated and I am truly sorry but I wrote it had it almost done and realized I didn't like it. And that was at page 12. so I tried to change somethings around. I hope you like it! please review :)