The Miles We Misplaced
Well, you're in an office here, you're in an office there. What's the difference?
-Peggy Olson
i.
The house in Pasadena has a steep staircase to five bedrooms and doors that open onto a sprawling back patio. Ted's suite at the Waldorf has a writing desk and a reading chair with a matching footstool. The bed is high off the ground and wide. He is sprawled across the center, staring up at the ceiling. The walls are thick and his floor is so far off the ground that he hears nothing but the sound of his own breathing.
Ted remembers a time he thrived on noise – his boys laughing, tossing ideas back and forth with eager copywriters. He thought returning to New York would bring color and sound back into his life, but he still spends a lot of quiet, stationary time at a desk.
He thought returning to New York would bring a lot back into his life.
ii.
Someone left a copy of The New York Times on the seat of the booth. Ted looks at the date – August 23 – and reads yesterday's news. He orders coffee and picks up the placard at the end of the table with the breakfast specials.
The waitress comes back with a mug and a glass of cranberry juice. Ted says, "I didn't order that," and when she reaches to put it back on the tray he says, "But I'll take it." He orders the number five. He takes a sip of the juice and his lips pucker. He can see Peggy standing with him in the Ocean Spray factory, her lips stained red from sampling the tart juice.
Ted looks out the window and spots Peggy on the sidewalk, crushing a cigarette under her shoe. In Los Angeles his eyes played tricks on him all the time – he saw her riding in the backseat of a convertible on La Brea, holding a little boy's hand outside his sons' school, in the crowd coming out of church one Sunday morning. But he knows she's really there and he stares at her between the bright letters spelling out Moe's Diner on the window.
He watches Peggy remove another cigarette from the pack in her purse. Ted's shoulders droop when he sees Don come into view, holding a lighter. Peggy tilts forward to spark the end of her cigarette on the flame and smiles at Don. The two of them step out onto the street, toward the office, Don holding his arm out in front of her when a taxi picks up speed in front of them.
"Can I get you anything else?" the waitress asks when she sets a plate in front of Ted.
He looks at the food and no longer has the appetite for such a large pile of fluffy eggs and greasy bacon. He looks up and says, "More cranberry juice, please."
iii.
The first signs of fall settle into the landscape. The trees are less green and the sun burns orange in the sky. Ted notices on the drive from the airport to the office. His flight out of LAX was delayed and he missed the three o'clock partners meeting and won't make it for a five o'clock call if traffic doesn't break.
Ted tilts his head back against the seat. He winces at the memory of the boys waving to him from the front porch. He hears Nan say You didn't give us a lot of time to enroll the boys in school. We'll stay here for now and a sharp ache pinches between his eyes because he was relieved to hear it.
The cab drops him off at the curb. Ted carries his suitcase in one hand and briefcase in the other, pushing through the door with his shoulder. He enters the building against a throng of people making their end-of-day escape. He hands his things over to Moira and dashes off, not paying attention to what she shouts after him. He looks in Don's office and finds it empty.
"Ted, welcome back."
He turns to see Don leaning on the edge of Marsha's desk. "Thanks," Ted says. "Did I miss the call with Handiwrap?"
Don shakes his head. He says, "It got canceled," as Peggy emerges from her office, her purse hanging from her shoulder. "Sorry you rushed all the way here."
Ted shrugs. "I have other work to do. I'll see you in the morning." He nods at Peggy and turns to walk away. He hears her say she doesn't want to see Easy Rider again and for the rest of the night, Ted knows he'll sit in his office remembering what it was like to sit beside her in a dark theater.
iv.
He thinks about joining the Burger Chef meeting from his office. Moira gives him a strange look when he suggests her dialing Roger's phone and having Caroline put him on speaker.
Ted pours a finger of whiskey into a glass and downs it at once. He heads up the stairs and stops outside Roger's office when he hears his name spoken.
It's Pete talking, and he says, "I heard he asked Don for the name of the realtor who helped get his apartment. If you ask me, his wife doesn't want to give up the beach. I can't blame her. If Ted was anything at home like he was at the office…"
Ted waits a beat, listening to Pete move on to the topic of why there is no coffee cream in the dish before walking into the room. "Hi, everyone," Ted says. He notices Peggy seated on the sofa. He swears she smiles at him. It's slight and appears to be drawn on her face out of pity, but he doesn't care.
v.
A tray of pastries is in the middle of the table and Peggy can't quite reach it. Ted gives it a push toward her and she says, "Thanks," before selecting a bear claw.
Don walks into the room and takes the empty seat next to Peggy. When he reaches for a pastry she says, "Here," and tears off most of hers.
The Burger Chef team provides updates on the television commercials, and Pete weighs in about the latest feedback from the executives. He says something about planning another trip and Peggy says, "Just don't mention broccoli in front of William."
Don laughs and pokes his elbow out to playfully jab her arm. She looks at him and holds her hand to her lips, stifling a giggle.
Pete rolls his eyes at their inside joke and Ted shifts uncomfortably in his chair on the other side of the table.
vi.
Nan's meatloaf is sitting on the table under a piece of foil. The cold mashed potatoes are in the bowl her Aunt Judith gave them as a wedding gift. "You don't want to be here," Nan says.
Ted looks at her. He opens his mouth to protest, but he's lied too much. "That's not entirely true," he says, thinking of his sons.
"If you wanted to be here you would have found a way. You worked with the New York office from here for eight months. What's the difference now?"
Ted sighs. He drops his chin to his chest. He thinks, It didn't work. My plan failed. "It wasn't part of the deal," Ted says.
Nan stands and her chair wobbles behind her. She picks up the meatloaf and pops it back into the oven, setting it at a low temperature. "You didn't take to California the way we did."
She's not looking at him but Ted nods.
"I've been wondering for a long time now if you would ever tell me why that is."
Ted's chair squeaks on the tiled floor as he pushes away from the table. "I'd like to tell you now."
vii.
The view from his hotel room is of the neighboring building. Ted drops the curtain and wonders how much there is to see in downtown Indianapolis. He's only there because Don's daughter had an emergency at school six hours before the flight. He's certainly not there because Peggy wants his company or his presence at the meeting. He heard I can handle the meetings myself right up until they boarded the plane.
She sat four rows behind him, and now Ted is only separated from Peggy by one wall. Or, he would be if she was in the room. Harry called two hours ago and said Burger Chef wanted to take the team for drinks, but Ted didn't want to make Peggy uncomfortable by attending.
He doesn't know how much she knows. He never would have pegged Pete Campbell as the office gossip but the man seems to have kept everyone in the agency informed of the events in Ted's life.
He removes his shoes and socks. The carpet scratches the bottoms of his feet as he walks to the closet, removing his shirt and hanging it up. Ted starts to remove his white undershirt when he hears a knock on the door. He doesn't bother looking through the peephole, assuming its housekeeping with the toothbrush he requested.
Ted swings the door open and stares wide-eyed at Peggy. She is wearing a dress he knows she didn't pack for a business meeting; it's pink with a matching belt cinched around her waist and a neckline that makes him think about dropping kisses across her collarbone and down to her chest. She looks bright and fresh and not at all angry.
"Hi," she says, breaking the long silence.
Ted swallows. His mouth is too dry and his tongue too thick to form words.
"Everyone is still downstairs. They wanted me to give you one last chance for a drink," Peggy says, dutifully delivering a message.
He shakes his head. "I better not."
Peggy shrugs. She turns around and Ted reaches out, grasping her elbow. "Wait," he says. "Can we talk?"
She winces. "No." She pulls out of his grasp. "I'm not drunk, if that's what you're thinking."
He shakes his head. "Not at all. It doesn't have to be in here. I can meet you in the lobby or we can take a walk."
"Why?"
"Because I'm back in New York, Peggy, and even if you don't want me in your life I'm in the agency. How long can we work together without talking about… everything?" Ted asks.
She considers his question and says, "Forever," in such a way that Ted knows she doesn't believe it.
He draws in a sharp breath. "Okay," he sighs. "We don't have to talk now but I think we should eventually. I'll let you decide when. Goodnight, Peggy." He inches the door shut as she pivots in the direction of her room. He closes the door and reaches for the chain lock when he hears a knock.
Ted pulls the door back open. "How nice of you to let me decide," she sneers. Peggy slips between him and the doorway, tossing her purse on the bed. It takes a long while for her to speak again but when she does, her voice is softer. "If you think I'm glad you're miserable, you're not entirely wrong."
He lets the door slip shut. Ted turns around and she is standing at the foot of the bed, her arms folded.
"I heard things," Peggy continues. "For a while it felt good to know that you were always gloomy and hated everything about Los Angeles." She stops to take a breath. "But I don't want to be that way. I'm tired of… hatred. It's exhausting. I just want to know one thing."
"Okay," Ted says.
Peggy sweeps her tongue along her teeth. "What were you afraid of? What did you think was going to happen if you stayed with me and left your wife?" She gestures to him, drawing a line in the air from his head to his feet and asks, "This? Is this what you were afraid of?" She looks at the bedside table, knowing there will be an open bottle of liquor and a glass.
Ted's arms hang limply at his sides. He catches sight of himself in the mirror above the dresser; one side of his cotton shirt hangs over the waistband of his wrinkled pants, and his hair is unkempt, as if he just rolled out of bed after a long night. "Yes," he tells Peggy, looking directly at her. "Yes." He doesn't know what else to say and sits on the edge of the bed, facing away from her.
She sits on the foot of the bed; he feels the light dip in the mattress.
"I thought being the man who left his wife and lived away from his sons would destroy me. It sounds like you know how well my plan worked out," Ted says.
"I think... I think what you did to me was pretty awful." Peggy glances over her shoulder to see if he's turned to look at her. "But I got involved with a married man, so…"
Ted rests his hands beside him, digging his fingertips into the bedspread. "I know it doesn't mean much, but I'm sorry. I am. I should have talked to you about everything. I finally talked to Nan and-"
"I know," Peggy says.
He is quiet. He listens to her breathe and burns from the inside out having her so close. Ted feels the loss of her weight on the bed when she stands up.
Peggy picks up her purse and moves toward the door.
"If I had stayed in New York I would have never been able to hold my family together," Ted says and she pauses. "But it wasn't any different in California. Here or there… I didn't have you."
She turns slowly but Ted knows Peggy caught him wiping the heel of his hand down his cheek. She opens the flap on her purse as she walks closer to him. She removes a tissue and hands it to Ted.
He wipes under his eyes and squeezes the tissue inside his fist. He closes his eyes, waiting to hear her feet shuffle across the floor and the sound of the door opening and closing. But instead Ted feels warmth and suddenly Peggy's arms are circling around his shoulders. His forehead his pressed to her chest and he breathes in the familiar scent of her perfume. He lifts his arms to grip her hips, and for a brief moment his mouth opens against her right breast and he feels Peggy tremble and her nails pierce him through the thin cotton of his shirt.
Peggy takes a step back and Ted's hands drop to his lap. She pulls her purse strap back into place on her shoulder. She doesn't say anything until she has the door open and she's standing in the hallway looking back at him. "I'll see you in the morning," she says.
Ted lets out a strained breath. He nods and says, "Goodnight, Peggy."
viii.
The women in the office are starting to hang pictures of pumpkins and witch hats on the doors and drape orange and black crêpe paper all over the office. A piece is hanging in front of the conference room doorway and Ted lifts it up, taping the end back into place.
He is the first to arrive for the meeting and sits on the side of the table that faces the door. He takes one of two chocolate donuts from the tray.
Harry barrels in, already talking about something to do with the computer. He sits at one end of the table even though he knows Roger will come in and make him move. Pete and Don walk in together, both carrying mugs of coffee.
Peggy enters the room with a file tucked under her arm. She stands behind the chair between Pete and Don and selects a glazed donut, setting it on a napkin.
Ted watches her circle around the table. She pulls out the chair beside him and sits down. She looks at him and says, "Good morning."