Not the end, but the beginning. A story about Elliot & Olivia, and life.
AU, EO, give it a few chapters, we will get there.
This story was written because a friend of mine always says she wishes Mariska was her mom, so we came up with this crazy story on how it could have happened and I just decided to write about it but turn it into Elliot & Olivia.. Hope you enjoy. If you think it's good or bad, let me know I don't want to write if nobody likes it.
December 28th 1995:
Mercy General Hospital, Manhattan NY
"Hi my wife is in labor we called her doctor she supposed to meet us here." The words Kevin Conners said in calmest of tone which was odd considered he had never been more stressed out before in his life.
The tall dark hair, blue eyed, baby-faced, Irish man, was thinking about his wife, the woman he's known since they were 5 years old, the absolute love of his life was mere hours away from bringing their little girl into this world. Kevin James Conners was going to be a dad.
Holy crap. Were his only thoughts.
"Last name?" the nurse who resembled a younger version of Meryl Streep asked
"Benson" The wheel chaired woman responded.
The blonde Meryl Streep look-a-like nurse looked down at the woman in the wheel chair who had long brown hair and deep brown eyes and clearly in pain, assumingly because she was in labor.
"Olivia?" the nurse asked after typing her last name into the computer
"Yes."
After minutes of talking and paper work Kevin pushed his wife of 3 years into a private room and helped put the gown, instructed by the doctor, and got her into bed.
6 hours later
Olivia Benson looked down at her daughter, her brown hair, brown eyed, clone.
"Where are we on name status?" Olivia asked her husband without her eyes leaving the face of her 7 lbs., 6 ounce angel.
"I thought we agreed we were naming her after her beautiful mother" Kevin said placing his hand softly on his newborn daughters head while leaning in to gently kiss his wife's lips.
"Mackenzie Olivia Benson-Conners, that's a long name, poor kid" the couple shared a laugh while watching their daughter in a peaceful sleep.
"Well when she's older she'll appreciate being named after such a strong, amazing woman." Kevin gave his wife a small smile.
October 20th 1999
Conners Apartment
"Mackie, come on, mommy is going to be really late for work" Olivia Benson yelled from the kitchen while putting on her shoes.
"will you put me to bed tonight mamma?" a brown hair, brown eyed 4 year old asked, wearing pink over-all's with a white turtle neck underneath, with her pink and white light-up sneakers that she proudly showed off.
"I don't know baby, I will try my best but if not I promise I will call and tell you goodnight" Olivia knew this new job was taking away a lot of time from her daughter but it was the first year as a detective for Manhattan SVU, so of course the hours were demanding. It would lighten up as soon as she got the swing of things, she just wished her husband and daughter understood that.
Mackie just glanced up at her mother and gave a small nod while grabbing her CareBear backpack and putting it on and then retrieving her big comfy couch- Molly doll that her uncle Elliot gave her for her 3rd birthday and since has not let go of it since.
Olivia grabbed her purse and held her hand out for her daughter to grab before they left the apartment.
October 20th 1999
SVU Precinct
"Alright everyone, nice work today" Don Cragen said to his crew of detectives. "It's been a long week, go home get some rest. I will see you all on Monday. Enjoy you weekend"
Olivia looked down at her watch and sighed.
"What's wrong Liv?" her partner and immediate friend, Elliot Stabler asked her.
"It's 10pm and I forgot to call and say goodnight to Mackie, she's not happy that mommy is not there for bed time, ever." Olivia said rolling her eyes at the fact that she is never there to tuck her baby in at night.
"She will understand when she's older and that little girl loves you more than life so I don't beat yourself up about it" Elliot and Olivia became friends instantly. They had only known each other about 5 months but they were incredibly close.
"It's not just Mackie, I never see Kevin, when I am home he's usually working and he's fed up with me not being home too. I don't know El, I'm just stressed. Hopefully this weekend off will do me some good."
Elliot nodded and agreed with her statement, they both said their goodbyes and left.
October 20th 1999
Benson-Conners Apartment
It was 11pm, traffic was a bitch tonight. Olivia defiantly had her fair share flipping the finger on her way home. She slid the keys in her apartment door and walked in. All she wanted to do was get into bed with her baby girl and husband and stay there the whole weekend, however, the house was dark. She peaked in Mackie's room and saw her beautiful baby sleeping soundly with her Molly doll wrapped in her arms. She leaned down and brushed the hair out of her face.
"I'm so sorry baby" Olivia whispered before kissing her forehead and heading to her own bedroom.
She quietly opened the door expecting to find the lights off and her husband asleep but he was up awake, sitting in bed and reading through files, for work she assumed.
"Hey" she said quietly
"Hi." His response was short and mono-toned.
"How was your day?" Olivia asked while sliding her jeans and shirt off and throwing on a tank top and sweatpants.
"Fine, yours?" Kevin asked putting all the papers back into the file folder and in the
drawer next to his bed.
"It was good, glad to be off for the weekend though" Olivia spoke while climbing into bed.
"Wow a whole weekend, what's that a new record? The longest amount of time you have spent at home since you started this job" His tone was angry, Kevin turned his light off and laid on his side, his back to his wife.
"Kev that's not fair, you know if I had the choice I would be home with you and Mackie" she argued.
"There's the problem Olivia, you do have a choice you are choosing to work this job and never be home. You are choosing the job over your family"
"I'm not arguing with you tonight. We both knew the hours were going to be tough when we agreed I would take the job"
"Yeah I didn't realize that meant my wife would be at work from 8am to 11pm every night." He said sitting up and looking at her. "What about Mackie? What about the fact that she cries every time its bedtime because she wants mommy, what about me? God Olivia, I love you, I love you a lot but its hard loving someone, being married to someone, you never see."
"What would you like me to do then? Quit? Give up my dream? Huh?" she paused noticing how loud her voice was getting. She took a deep breath before continuing in a more calm tone. "Kevin, you know it's just the first year, the hours won't be as bad when we all figuring out what we are doing."
"I don't want to argue with you anymore. I hardly ever see you and when I do we argue." Kevin said with defeat in his voice.
"Kevin" she started while grabbing his hand "I love you and I love Mackie but I love my job too and so what I have to put in a little extra time right now but it will be done with soon. I am living my dream Kev, you know how long I have wanted to work SVU, and yeah, things are stressful right now but come on baby, through the good and bad, till death do us part, we will get past this. I know things aren't ideal but I promise you it won't last long."
Kevin pulled her in and kissed her softly
"I am sorry I got so angry"
"You have every right to be"
"I could have went about it a different way though"
"yeah, you could have" Olivia said with a smirk, the couple shared a small laugh before Kevin pulled his wife in his arms.
"I love you" he said placing a kiss in her hair
"I love you, more than you know" Olivia said leaning up and kissing his jaw line "Now go to sleep we have a long weekend ahead of us." Olivia closed her eyes falling asleep in her husband's arms.
At 2am she woke up feeling a little hand on her shoulder she turned over to see Mackie sitting next to her with a wide smile.
"Hi lovie, what are you doing?" Olivia asked pulling her daughter into her arms.
"I missed you. Can I sleep with you and daddy tonight?" Mackie asked already lying down in her mother's arms.
"you sure can baby" Olivia said leaning down to kiss her forehead. "I love you"
"I love you to mamma" Mackie said burying her face in her mother's chest before closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep.
Her husband's arms around her and daughter sleeping in her arms, she felt like the luckiest woman in the world.
September 4th, 2000
Benson-Conners apartment:
"Mackie don't you think it's a little early for that?" Olivia joked as she watched her 5 year old who was currently sitting on the bar stool with the calendar in hand counting the days till Christmas while she sat opposite of her reading next week's script.
"Nope" she stated simply "it's never too early for Christmas mom"
"Why do you like Christmas so much Mack?" Olivia asked already assuming her daughter would answer with the typical 5 year old response being the presents.
"because you and daddy don't work and you both put me to bed at night every Christmas and both of you are there in the morning when I wake up and we get to spend the whole day together. And because last year we went to Don's and Uncle Elliot, and Uncle Munch, and Uncle Fin all come with us and it's just really fun mom" Olivia had always known her daughter was smarter than the average 5 year old but clearly she didn't understand just how intellectual she was until her response. Her eyes watered listening to her daughter's thoughts and reasoning on why she loves Christmas, it broke her heart and melted her all at the same time.
"and you know what baby, we will always be together on Christmas. Daddy and I will always put you to bed and be here when you wake up, every year. Got it?"
"Got it" Mackie nodded in the most official way before she looked down back at the calendar continuing to count.
Olivia hated she wasn't home a lot. She had been working SVU for 2 years now the hours went down but not much, it just depended on the case, therefore keeping her busy and away from her daughter. But Olivia wasn't the only guilty parent. Kevin was never home either, working for the corporate offices of major companies as the head of graphic design was keeping him in the office more than he cares to admit. Between both parents jobs Mackie spent more time with her babysitter than with her parents.
"okay baby you keeping counting, I'm going to make a phone call real quick"
Mackie nodded, not really caring what her mother had just said, she was focused on Christmas counting.
"Stabler" the deep voice of Elliot Stabler said on the other end of the phone.
"I'm stuck" Olivia closing her bedroom door so Mackie wouldn't hear her and plopping down on her bed.
"Where at? I'm just leaving my parents now" She heard Elliot grabbing his car keys and laughed at the fact that he was willing to drop everything to come get her because he thought she was actually stuck somewhere.
"No El, not literally, figuratively"
"oh, what's up?" he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, glad that his friend was ok and not actually stuck or hurt.
"I'm not sure SVU is the place for me. I am never home and Mackie's really taking it hard. I'm working day and night. I love our job, I really do. But my daughter's needs have to come first and she needs me home."
"Is she unhappy in life?" he asked her
"well no but she needs her mother in her life"
"Yeah and you are there for the important stuff, sure you aren't home every night to tuck her in, or drop her off at school in the morning, but you haven't missed one t-ball game yet, you have been to her dance recitals, you take her birthday off so you can spend it with her. And last time I checked she has a father she loves spending time with. So leave the department if you want but how else are you going to support her, unless you stay home, you're just going to get picked up for precinct with hours just as bad if not worse" This is what she loved about her partner, he was blunt. He didn't give a fuck what anyone thought of him, he spoke the whole truth and nothing but.
"Why do you do this to me?" Olivia asked in a whiney voice.
"Do what? Tell you how it is? Because that's why you love me show much." The pair laughed
"MOM, I'M HUNGRY!"
"I'm being summoned by the queen herself, time to fed her" Olivia said after hearing her name called by her favorite 5 year old.
"What's on the menu tonight, mac and cheese?" Elliot asked knowing Mackie loved her some mac and cheese.
"Well of course, the character out of the box kind of course"
"Watch out Rachel Ray, Olivia Benson is making Mac and Cheese out of the box" Elliot joked.
"Yeah well it takes a lot of work to stir the cheese and noodles." Olivia played into his little game. "Speaking of which I have to go make my daughter food before she yells at me again, I'll see you Monday"
"See ya then Liv, let me know if you need anything"
"I will, later" Olivia said ending the call.
Elliot was right, he always was. Any job she got on the force was going to have crazy hours. And Mackie was a happy kid, sure she wished her mom didn't have to work but what kid didn't.
May 22nd 2001
Don Cragen's Vacation House – The Hamptons
There was so much tension in the car with Mackie in the backseat, Olivia in the passenger seat and Kevin driving, you could cut it with a knife. The family was headed to Don Cragen's house in the Hamptons for the annual NYPD SVU picnic. The whole team would be there. Everyone would bring their families, there would be food, drinks, and lots of laughs, there always was.
However, Kevin and Olivia were arguing more and more and this morning was no different. Tomorrow they would catch a flight to Buffalo, NY to see Kevin's family. Since both parents were on vacation Olivia thought getting away for the City for a while would help fix her marriage that was slowly falling apart.
She loves Kevin, she really and truly does and always will. But she's not sure if she loves him or if she is in love with him. Part of her thinks she's convinced herself she is in love with him because he let her have the career she's strived for and supported her most of the way, he gave her a beautiful baby girl, who is her pride and joy, her entire world, and lastly because she's never experienced life without him. She has known him since she was 5 years old, they were best friends. They moved to New York City together with the hope of making their dreams become realities and it happened. Kevin, a well-known graphic designer who is wanted all over the country for his wonderful talents and Olivia, a sex crimes detective, making up for her genetic composition, and not just a regular old donut eating, asshole cop, but a recognizable and decorated detective who is blessing the world with her love and support.
Kevin sees his wife clearly in deep, stressing, thoughts. He reaches over and grabs her hand that's resting on her lap and gives it a gentle squeeze. She looks up at him and smiles lightly. With his eyes on the road he picks up her hand bringing it so his lips and placing a soft kiss before bring it back down and holding her hand for the remainder of the drive.
They pulled Don's house, Olivia glanced in the backseat to see her daughter sleeping. They both get out of the car, Olivia opens the door to the back seat and leans down pushing her daughters long brown hair out of her face and kissing her cheek.
"Wake up baby, were here"
Mackie's little eyes flutter open, taking a minute to adjust to the light. She says nothing, still in a hazed mood, having just woke up, she climbs out of her booster seat and hops out of the car Molly doll in one hand, grabbing her mother's hand with her free one. Kevin walked slightly behind his wife and daughter before Olivia reached her arm back signaling him to grab her hand. He did. They looked at each other and shared a quick kiss before making their way to the giant backyard.
"UNCLE ELLIOT!" were the first words Mackie spoke since her nap in the car. She ran toward her favorite 'uncle' and jumped on his lap.
"Hey little Mack, what's happening?"
"nothing, I missed you lots" The 6 year old expressed while tightening her arms around her uncle Elliot's neck.
March 6th, 2002
Benson-Conners apartment
Olivia sat on her couch in tears. Her husband next to her with the world in between them. Agreeing they were better friends than lovers and taking the next step: Divorce.
Olivia cried, like most people would. But Olivia Benson? She doesn't cry. She loved him, she really did, and they both knew this was for the best yet she cried, mainly for her daughter who would be devastated at this news. Kevin pulled his soon to be ex-wife into his arms and held her, for what would be the last time.
After an hour of crying in Kevin's arms, the couple discussed their daughter, and how they would tell her.
Olivia was in the bathroom wiping off the smeared make-up from her face when a Mackie ran through the door yelling for her parents to take notice in her arrival.
Behind the brown haired 7 year old was one of Manhattan's finest, and one of detective Benson's closest friends, and of course Mackie's favorite 'aunt', ADA's Alexandra Cabot.
Alex waved goodbye knowing what the two adults were discussing when she was called to come get Mackie for the day.
Mackie ran into the living room sitting on the couch next to her dad telling him all about her trip to the zoo with Aunt Alex.
"We saw the bears, and the tigers, and all the icky spiders, and we saw the gorrillas and they were hitting the glass and I got really scared so Aunt Alex picked me up and held me and showed me that it was actually funny not scary…" the seven year old was talking a mile a minute. Olivia came out of the bathroom tear-free and stood in the door way watching her care-free, happy, loving daughter talk about her trip to the zoo. Olivia started tearing up again thinking about how she was about to turn her baby's world upside down.
"Hi Mommy" Mackie noticed her mother standing in the door way and then continued telling her parents about how before they left the zoo she got to ride on the train. After finishing her story. She leaned into her mother's side as her day left her exhausted. Olivia looked at her husband who was sitting opposite Mackie and he gave her a nod.
"Hey love, Mommy and Daddy need to talk to you" Olivia said pulling her daughter into her lap.
"Why?" the curious seven year old asked as Kevin moved in closer towards them pulling Mackie's legs into his lap.
"Well baby, You know how sometimes you ask me what's wrong and I always say that Daddy and I just argue sometimes?"
"yeah.." the skeptical child responded
Olivia's words got caught in her throat as she started to let the tears fall. Mackie looked up at her mom's tears
"why are you crying mommy? What happened?"
Kevin decided to take over. "Well honey, Mommy and Daddy don't want to fight anymore because we want you to live in a happy home so I'm going to move to a new apartment and you're going to come visit me all the time but your also going to be here with mommy too, so you can see both of us" at this point Olivia had lost all hope of containing her emotions as she had tears streaming down her face.
"but why aren't you going to live here?" Mackie asked, annoyed and not understanding why her parents couldn't live in the same place.
"baby you know how Kaylee's parents don't live together?" Olivia asked her daughter, hoping to help her understand.
"yeah because they got divorced because they don't like each other" Mackie answered
"Well honey daddy and I are getting a divorce but we still like each other we just would rather be friends than be married" Olivia explained, trying to hold in her sobs.
"But why can't you and daddy just make up and not fight anymore?" Mackie asked, clearly getting very upset at this point. Her little eyes started watering just a bit.
"Mackie it's not that easy, when you get older you will understand more. You just need to know that we both love you so much." Kevin said hoping to stop the tears he saw threatening to fall from his daughter's eyes.
"What about Christmas?" Mackie asked letting the tears escape while pushing herself off of her parents. "you promised mommy, your promised we would always be together on Christmas. You said you and Daddy would put to bed and be there when I wake up" Mackie was yelling and crying. The poor kid didn't know what to do or say. She was mad but she didn't know who she was mad at. She couldn't be mad at her mom because she was also crying and her dad was clearly upset as well.
Kevin pulled his daughter into his lap "Mackenzie, I promise you, no matter what happens, for the rest of our lives, you, mommy, and I will spend every Christmas together. We will both be there when you fall asleep and when you wake up. Ok?"
Mackie nodded. He called her by her full name which means he meant business. But that didn't make it any easier. The little girl just sat her with her parents as they all cried.
EO starts next chapter, this was just a little background!
R&R.