The Next Day…
I wake up with a tight feeling on my face- probably from drying tears. I walk to the vanity put some foundation on to make me seem a little more alive, and I pull my hair into a ponytail. I walk out of the room and walk down the hall until I see Isabelle in her room, packing her things. "Were you going to say goodbye?" I ask weakly.
She turns to face me and I can't help but notice the slight bags that hang under her deep eyes. "Sorry…" is all she says to me but I can understand why. I broke her brother's heart for selfish reasons.
"We are leaving today… if you wanted to say goodbye." I nod my head and take a deep breath. All of my tears have run out. I walk to her and give her a hug and she whispers into my ear, "Make this better Clary."
I separate from her and say, "I'll try."
JPOV
I walk into the library where Alec told me he wanted to talk. "What is it Alec?" I ask.
He looks up from the book in his hand and his eyes land on me. "Good morning to you too."
"Alec, can we please try to be serious? I have packing to do."
He rolls his eyes and says, "Jace… why are you doing this to yourself? Why must you insist on making yourself miserable?"
I roll my eyes but pretend to feel something at his words as I out my hand to my chest and say, "Me? Miserable?!"
"I thought you wanted to be serious," says Alec with a bored expression on his face.
"I will be if you just tell me what this is about!" I yell at him as I move over to the leather couch to sit down.
"CLARY, Jace, it's about CLARY!" he exclaims and I hate the slight pull I get as a reaction to her name. She broke me… and then she tried to justify her actions with selfish reasons… but I was still in love with her.
"I don't want to talk about her," I say and I get up from the couch and being walking towards the door.
"So," continues Alec, "that's it? You aren't going to talk to her anymore… you don't lover her anymore-"
"Hell! You know I still love her!" I yell out instinctively, "You know that I will always love her, though clearly, the Clary I knew and loved died a year ago. I don't know who this Clary is…"
Alec sighs and says, "Jace, you don't mean that. You are just angry- angry with her for trying to do what was best for you, and angry with yourself for not being able to forgive her. She forgave you, Jace. She is still the same Clary… she will always be the same Clary, maybe the real person that has changed is you."
"Alec, let's be real, please-"
"I am being real! You don't think that after a year of searching for someone aimlessly, you haven't changed? That you haven't become more desperate for her? We have all seen what she has done with you and I think even you can agree it was for the better. The fact is you aren't the same Jace Lightwood that you were a year ago."
I can't help but believe what he is saying actually makes since, though I don't want it to. I don't want to believe I have changed…
"So," Alec continues, "go find her. Tell her the truth. Tell her you love her- ANYTHING… before it's too late."
For a slight moment I feel as though that could work until reality comes to me and I say, "I don't know if she even wants me back, Alec. I mean, first I cheat on her, and then I turn her away after she was trying to do something for my own good… I wouldn't want me back."
I don't give him time to say anything back as I walk out of the library and into my room to continue packing. I try to keep my mind blank but there is still one thought that swirls in my mind and refuses to leave… my Clary.
CPOV
I walk into the foyer where everyone is lined up and I see him standing there, looking as beautiful and charming as he looked the day I met him, though now, he seems tired and stressed to the point of no return. I look at everyone else- Simon, Isabelle, Alec, and Magnus. "Ready?" I ask them and I see them nod their heads.
I choke back a sob as I begin to draw a portal rune on the wall to New York. When I am done, I watch the markings turn from black, to an illuminated blue and the brick of the wall fall away until there is nothing but a blue, swirling pit of nothing. "This is it…" says Simon more to himself than anyone else.
"Bye Clare," says Izzy as she wraps her arms around my neck. I return the hug just as tight until she pulls away. I give Mags and Alec a hug as well.
"So Red… not coming with us?" asks Simon.
"N-not this time, Si," I say and try my best to choke down the words so that I believe them. He hugs me and I hug him back.
I don't look at Jace as he passes me but I can feel his gaze on me until he lines up with the others in front of the portal. Izzy turns around one last time and waves at me, before jumping through first, followed by Alec, Magnus, and Simon.
Before Jace jumps through however, he turns around and looks at me, as if searching for something. When I say nothing, or when I do nothing, he takes one final step, before disappearing and I didn't realize it, but right then and there, my whole world came crashing down.
A/N: Sorry for the delay guys! But State is over with and I got 2nd overall with a time of 15:12! Thank you all for reading this chapter and I will try to update more, but now I have lacrosse practice- though that shouldn't take much time.
Thanks for reading! REVIEW!