A/N As promised there is insight into Klaus mind and past. I really wanted to get the point across that he wasn't always the big bad evil hybrid, that he had a soft and innocent side. That once upon a time he was just a scared little boy, confused as to why his family never seemed to care that much.

Disclaimer- I have nothing to do with The Vampire Diaries or The Originals except what my imagination stirs up!

Klaus POV

I am a proud man, and I know this is my weakness an even bigger weakness than my pride is Caroline. For her to see me on my knees helpless to protect myself kills me, I want to protect her from whatever danger may come her way how can I convince her that I can do that when she sees me so useless against a mere 100 year old vampire?

I vowed to myself from the very moment she defied me, the moment she stood up to me without a second thought about what I could do to her, or what I have done to those for less, that I would never let her get hurt, and so far she has been through more pain and despair than most people go through in a lifetime and a lot of that is because of me and my inability to keep something good in my life, something that I will spend forever making up for.

The one time that I'm grateful she is miles away from here, happy that she is not just around the corner and that she's in a boring little town doing nothing with her life she shows up on a rescue mission right onto the doorstep of real danger?

There is so many things wrong with this whole situation, I should have Marcel chained up, I should be coming up with the scheming plans to overcome him, I should be protecting Caroline and most of all I should be enforcing the strength of our bond not spending whatever time I may have to convince her to give me a chance chained in the cellar of what once was my home, by a man who I practically raised and devoted a lot of time and patience to.

There were no words to explain my rage; there was no way I could vent it. The betrayal stung like a dagger but it did not hurt as much as the feeling of loss. No matter what the outcome Marcel and I would never be like we use to be, never before have I had a relationship like the one I had with Marcel. Yes I had my siblings and my parents but there was always something between us, preventing us from truly being a family, my mother's shame of falling pregnant with me, Mikael's hatred that I ever took my first breath and my siblings fear to disappoint them both, but with Marcel it was different. He was but a weak slave boy with no-one to look out for him, no-one to come to him in the middle of the night and help him clean his wounds from the days beatings, no older brother to take a few punches when he couldn't stand by to watch your father beat you senseless.

I am not a man, who loves easily, in fact besides my siblings I can count on one hand people who have meant anything to me on one hand who when lost have had an emotional impact on me, there is Carissa, Marcellus, Stefan and Caroline. Those people in different ways mean something to me, each represent something I always thought I was never capable of, friendship, loyalty, trust, happiness, and love.

Carissa, my childhood friend, the only person outside of my family who I loved. As children we got into all kinds of trouble, running around the village causing mayhem and havoc leaving a path of destruction in our wake, we never turned on each other, always shared the blame never leaving the other to take the entire punishment.

She was the one I would go to in the middle of the night after a beating from Mikael, she would clean my wounds and hold me as I cried, tried to answer my questions of why was this happening? What had I ever done to deserve such treatment? Together we would huddle around the small candle and plan our lives out, we would leave here once we were old enough to work, get on a boat and sail far away. We would always be together and nothing would separate us.

Of course over the period of time things changed, our bodies changed and expectations of us changed. The people in the village whispered marriage that it was a natural step for us to take, to settle and start a family. We helped each other through those difficult teenage years, seen how our bodies changed but even then the spark of wanting something more wasn't there, we laughed about what it was everyone was expecting, giggled about how awkward it would be to be together in that way. Even then we remained side by side, knowing we would forever be friends something stronger than a marriage.

When we turned 16 Carissa's mother died from what now we know is Cancer, then it was just a disease that made her weak and eventually killed her. Knowing that life was going to be that much harder for her I told her we could marry, I could support her and that perhaps over time we would love each other in that way. In her true nature she rejected, she was a strong person and extremely independent so instead of marriage she went to work, cleaned laundry for the richer part of the village, tailored clothes and began to watch over children when parents wanted to go away or just didn't want the bother of looking after their kids. She was fantastic never complained about the long hours and lack of pay; she tried to see the goodness in everything, she always saw the good in me even when I couldn't see it in myself.

Never once did she give up on me, or loss faith. No matter how many times I would shout and fight. I didn't know at the time why I was so easily infuriated, would shake with anger over the simplest of things but she knew it was not me, she knew I would never treat her in such away, instead her hatred and fury was towards my parents, for not loving me, for the beatings.

The night Henrik and I went to the woods to watch the men change to wolves Carissa was there, after spending most of the night trying to stop us she refused to let us go alone. At first it was mesmerising, seeing their skin be replaced with fur and how they grew in stature. Quickly it all changed, they could smell our blood knew there was on lookers and they charged straight for us.

Carissa grabbed Henrik as a first instinct knowing it was what I would do, before I could get my frozen body to move there was two wolves biting and clawing at them both, one looking me dead in the eye not even trying to come near me. He knew before I did what I was, knew I was one of them and instead they killed the two people I loved the most. Henrik being the youngest was loved by all of us, but to me he was more precious I hoped my father would never lay a finger on him, cause him pain, hoped he would not have to witness the hate my parents would lay on me, that he would grow up being loved and treasured. He would look up to the rest of us and we needed to set a good example for him. Lying there watching the life fading from his eyes I could feel the life drain from my own, Carissa looked at me before she closed her eyes never to open them again, one look that will haunt me till the day I die, the look of loneliness and one begging me never to forget her, to keep going and make a life for myself.

I am not and never having been religious but I know that threw all this time she has been close, watching me, most likely disappointed and pissed at me for the stuff I have done but I know she hasn't given up on me and I know she never will.

That was the last time I have ever been rendered useless in such a situation, they died because I was not strong enough to defend them. Too scared to distract the wolves with myself and as a result they were gone. I never let that go and I never will. Instead of freezing I think fast and act even faster.

The decision to leave her body there was a simple one; no-one apart from me would miss her. She had no family and I was her only friend. I laid out her body beneath a tree and kissed her forehead promising I would return to bury her properly later, I scooped Henrik into my arms and ran back to our house, screaming before I even reached it to warn them I was coming. My mother met me out front and ran straight for us; I dropped to my knees and desperately begged her to do something, my explanation and apology falling repeatedly off my lips. I watched as the realisation sunk in that nothing could be done. I had lost both my baby brother and my best friend and I was to blame.

To this day not one member of my family knows what really happened that night; they never missed Carissa and they never cared. I mourned both of them.

As promised I went back that night when the moon was in the sky, I dug a hole and dressed her in her favourite blue torn dress, the one she always wore when we went walking through the woods. She was wearing her long beaded necklace that a child she looked after gave her, she wore it everywhere and never took it off, but I did. I needed something to feel close to her, something physical that will never let me forget and that I can always have close to me. The white feather she found the morning her mother was buried was tucked on the inside of her top I removed it and sat in between her hands as I crossed them over her stomach.

I said a few words, cried a few words more like, but I told her she would never be forgotten and that no matter what she will always be a part of me. It's a secret I have kept for a thousand years, kept it constantly in my heart protected with walls of indifference and anger.

When I returned to my family's home, there was nothing but silence. My siblings holding each other together, Elijah had his arms around Rebekah and Finn resting his hand on Kol's shoulder, they looked at me with sympathy not a hint of blame was in their eyes for they knew what I would receive when father was finished consoling our mother. In the eyes of my parents I was too blame and for once I agreed with them, I received that beating gladly, took every hit knowing I deserved it. Once it was over and I was almost unrecognizable my father took me by my hair and threw me outside, telling me that I belong with the animals outside. Never has he spoken a truer word and he didn't even know the full truth of it.

He was aware of my mother's affair, had killed my real father but didn't know I carried the werewolf gene.

Then came the night of the spell, and it magnified every single emotion I had. I felt hatred like I never felt it before; I felt sadness as if my heart was bleeding for every single person that had died. Realising that I had a hunger that I could not satisfy I truly felt like a monster, knowing what I needed to live. Mikael took us into the woods so we could feed; we separated so that we wouldn't cross paths and get defensive, knowing how rabid we could get. I went to Carissa's tree, sat with my back to the trunk feeling the pain of her death travel through my entire body, that was when a hunter came through the trees looking for a rabbit for tomorrow's dinner or whatever game he could catch, my insane hunger took over and I had his lifeless body in my arms before I knew it, the moment his heart stopped beating I felt the pain in every limb and muscle of my body. With Mikael and Elijah witnessing what was happening I screamed in pain, confused and terrified and to Carissa I shouted

"Help me!"

The words

"He's a beast"

Rattled in my ears.

"Do not listen to him Niklaus, you are strong enough to overcome this. It is natural you must embrace it and allow it to happen"

Carissa's soft whisper was in my ear, I looked for her desperate to have her strength and know she was by my side, I could not see her but I could feel her. As Mikael and Elijah carried me and tied me up it was Carissa that kept me sane.

"You are tougher than he knows, this will not break you! Mikael is not even half the man you are. Be strong, Niklaus, be strong for me"

Over the centuries her voice has disappeared, it has been such a long time since I felt her near. How can I feel her presence if I refuse to feel anything at all?

I promised myself that I would never let myself care for anyone like that again, would never let someone get so close that it would almost kill me to lose them, I had kept that promise and lived by it until the day I first saw Marcellus. I saw so much of myself in him, knew by the look in his eye that he was a survivor, that every breath he took was his way of fighting against all that condemned him.

After Marcel came Stefan, he was the beginning of a new chapter in my life, I had a comrade in arms, someone who enjoyed his true nature as much as I did and lived life without fear or conviction, of course that came to an end when Mikael found us. Compelling Stefan to forget Rebekah and I was the first real emotion I had felt in a long time, I was saddened that he would not have the same memories as I would.

The trip to Mystic Falls was more of a mission, get in get the curse broke and get out again, but of course life could not be that simple, and once again I broke my promise, Caroline Forbes stole my mind, every thought was filled with her, every action was for her and every feeling of anger and frustration was because of her.

So here I am chained like the world's worst criminal, going down memory lane. Thinking about the most consuming thoughts to keep Davina out of my mind, out of all the people I have come across, known, loved and lost Caroline is the only one that I can't imagine living without. I lost Carissa but I continued on with life as I promised her I would, When I thought Marcel was dead I would not give Mikael the satisfaction of knowing how much it affected me, when I compelled Stefan I knew it was not permanent and that I could always make him remember whenever I wanted, but with Caroline? There is simply no life after Caroline.

Out of nowhere there was a soft hand on my cheek, and a small sniffle. I let out a deep breath and looked up into her blues eyes, tears streaming down her face and her mouth slightly open as if she was trying to say something but couldn't.

Caroline POV

I went from sitting on the sofa watching porn, porn and more porn with Hayley in a half ditched effort to find Elijah's little movie, to standing in the corner of the cellar with Klaus, I was in a dream within a dream. I saw his memories of the brown haired girl Carissa, trying to ignore the jealousy that was bubbling up in me. It was clear that they were close but not in the same way as a couple, their friendship was genuine and innocent, something I never imagined Klaus capable of. I saw how they changed as they grew up, how they were loyal to each other.

We all know Klaus is power hungry and that he wants loyalty, but it's not just any loyalty he wants, he wants what he had with Carissa someone he can be 100% himself with. Someone who would never go against him and would always have his back, something not even his family has done.

I saw the memories he shared with Marcel and Stefan, saw how they made him a different person. Elijah had told me briefly that Marcel and Klaus where close, but seeing it for myself broke my heart. Klaus loved him like a son, watched him grow, showing him the world form the originals point of view and now for him to be on the receiving end of his betrayal must be killing Klaus inside, not wanting to hate someone who you so obviously love but not being able to stop the hate anyway. Which brings me back to my own predicament, hating the man you care about and hating the man that loves you.

When his thoughts came to me the tears started, seeing that he thought of me as more than the others was an eye opener. To feel how much he loved Carissa, Marcel and Stefan and realising how it dulls in comparison to what he feels for me.

How can I possibly walk away from this? How can I walk away from a man who is so emotionally damaged and wants something as simple as someone to love him, to show him he matters? He may not have a perfect history but no-one does, we all have our forbidden memories that we avoid at all costs.

Words had failed me, I had no idea what to say so I didn't I just done what was natural, I placed my hand on his face and looked into his eyes.

There was a lone tear streaming down his face, that one tear I knew held a thousand years' worth of hidden pain, deep secrets and loneliness.

I could feel myself getting lighter and knew it was only a matter of time before I would be back with Hayley, so I quickly whispered

"We're close; I promise we'll get you soon! Just a little bit longer!"

He faded from my eyes.

I blinked rapidly, tears still running down my face. Hayley knew exactly what had just happened and could tell not to ask me about it. I needed fresh air so I decided I go for a small walk, I didn't know where I was going but I just kept walking.

It was decision time; I knew I couldn't continue like this. I needed to make my mind up do I give Klaus a chance? Try to see if he is what my heart truly desires, if all these feelings actually mean something? Can I really turn my back on all that he has done, to me and those I love?

Knowing know how he has suffered for so long, the secrets from his past that he has hidden so deeply with himself, has showed me what Elijah has believed all along, that there is hope that Klaus can be saved from himself. I don't want to stay here to try and fix him; I want to stay because I feel that this is where I belong, that he is who I belong with.

I was walking mindlessly now, not paying attention to where I was, it was the tap on my shoulder that shook me out of my thoughts

"Blondie … we need to talk"

I turned to see the crazy haired nightwalker; Diego I think was his name

"What do you want?"

"Marcel. If he becomes an original there is nothing stopping him from taking our free will"

They had taken the bait; the doubt was blooming in their minds

"And what? That's your problem not mine!"

"That's what we want to talk about"

I folded my arms across my chest

"Well get talking, you have one minute"

He looked at the two night walkers flanking him

"If we swear loyalty to you and your original will you guarantee that we keep control of our minds?"

"I will guarantee nothing; your loyalty doesn't mean much to me. You turned against Marcel so quickly and apparently you were devoted to him and had undying loyalty to the man, how can I be sure that you will remain loyal to Elijah and I?"

He looked a little uncomfortable and I knew that it was because he was very aware that I could easily turn down his offer.

"I have information that I will give to you, it will prove my loyalty beyond doubt"

He looked at me expectantly

"Well just don't stand there, tell me this ground breaking news"

"Marcel has Klaus"

I tried to hold a perfect poker face not let anything show, trying to hide any emotion.

I laughed

"And what? You expect Elijah to just offer you a deal just because you have his no good waste of space brother?"

The look of surprise on his face was satisfying, I felt confident that I was doing the right thing. I knew Elijah would want them to second guess everything, for them not to be certain that they could just simply switch sides, he would make them sweat.

"But he has him chained"

"Even better, this is a win win situation! In case you haven't noticed I don't care much for the rest of Elijah's family so this is not something to discuss with me. Go find Elijah and talk it out with him!"

With that I turned on my heel and left, I made it look as if I was casually strolling until I was a safe distance away and flashed back to the house, hoping Elijah was still there.

"Elijah!"

I shouted before I even had the door closed behind me

He came from the kitchen looking a little flustered and hot round the collar, not having time to let my nosey side out I started

"I just had an interesting conversation with some night walkers, Diego and two others I don't know. The wanted to promise us loyalty, said that they wanted to ensure they can keep their free will and with Marcel becoming an original they worried that he would take it from them. I didn't know how you wanted me to play it, they told me Marcel had Klaus and I just sort of blew it off, let them know that neither of us really care, it surprised them. I knew you would make them sweat, maybe even turn them down at first so I told them to find you"

He nodded and gave a small smile

"Caroline you act more and more like an original every day."

I noticed the pride in his voice and it actually made me happy, he noticed that I noticed and kept talking

"That is exactly what I would have done, now that I am expecting them I know what to do. I'll tell them to prove it, then offer them security and protection if they help us get Klaus back"

It was good, it would work and it would be done soon. Elijah was lifting his glass of scotch to his lips when I took it from him

"Go. Get it done. Now"

I drained the glass and left it on the table.

"Apparently I'm more and more like an original I may as well have their impatient manners as well!"

Truth be told I wanted it over, all of it.

The torture of seeing Klaus and only being able to feel his face was slowly getting to me, I want to hold him in my arms, let him feel that I am there for him, that even thought things are difficult between us not to mention complicated I am here, it's who I am. I am there for people whether they deserve it or not, and I know that I have reached the stage where I can't just walk away not knowing if this is my epic love or not.

I, Caroline Forbes is taking the leap and allowing myself to openly and full heartedly admit and discover my true feelings for Niklaus Mikaelson, no matter what has happened in the past and all I hope for is that we can move towards the future…our future.

A/N Soooooooo…. Thoughts? Was it okay? Too much or not enough?

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