She didn't know what to say when he told her of his plans for the weekend, she just held onto him and wouldn't let go. He had gone to an awful lot of trouble if he was going to just leave her, he would have not wanted to spend the whole weekend together surely? He would have wanted to get it over with and spend the weekend apart or was he trying to let her down gently? Give her one last weekend together then say goodbye when they got back home, he wouldn't leave her to make her own way back surely?
They unpacked the cases, then Jon suggested they went for a walk and see the castle then get changed for dinner, Rose was glad she had packed some of her better dresses the Tardis had supplied for her plus the one she had got on their first visit to Jon's apartment, Jon had said they would be going out every night and she was relieved he'd not packed all his t-shirts and had opted for proper shirts and he'd brought a suit from the other apartment and a very smart black one, some casual trousers and the jacket Rose like to see him wearing and he'd left his trainers behind and all in all, he was looking very smart, which all fuelled the thought it had the makings of a proposition, luxurious surroundings and him wearing his probably best black suit and it wasn't the one he had acquired when they were on Pete's world, she had never seen this one before, a more modern one.
They talked while looking around the outside of the castle, Jon said their hotel visit included admission so they checked the times it was open the following day then they went to sit down in the garden, ordering tea and scones, it was quite warm for the end of May and Jon seemed in a more than usual good mood so Rose reckoned it was going to be good news rather than bad, considering or maybe he was pleased he had found a good way of letting her down gently. Maybe he was going to let her think it was something good then go for the kill on the last day. Whatever it was, she just wished he would get on with it and get it over with but she felt sure he was going to leave it until the last minute, just like that night at her mother's when she was going to sleep, he'd decided to ask her about them having sex.
If he came out and said it tonight though, it would just prolong the misery of the weekend and they may just as well go back so no, perhaps it was best he left it, there would be some benefit in leaving it but it wasn't doing her any good and the suspense was killing her and if she asked, he wouldn't tell her, not when he wouldn't say where they had been going. They were talking quietly, Jon getting a few novel looks from some of the men who probably thought he didn't belong there and getting worried their wives were giving him the eye despite him being with a young blonde woman who looked nearly half his age and they were totally engrossed in each other.
Rose was attempting to get him to tell her why exactly they were there but having no success. He was just as bad Human as he was Timelord, when he didn't want to tell you anything, you got nothing out of him.
"Come on, tell me why we're here, can't you give me a clue, a little hint?" Rose asked. He shook his head. "Go on, if you don't tell me what we're were doing here soon, I'm going to have to resort to other tactics to get it out of you," she laughed, nudging him.
"Well, in that case, I'll look forward to it," he laughed back, taking her hand and squeezing it. "But I'm still not telling you yet, you'll have to wait but I'll tell you this, it's something important Rose, very important and no trying to guess what it is because I won't give anything away. Now why don't we go get ready for dinner, Sweetheart?" he asked, looking around to see others leaving and two women who were sitting together eyeing him up as he took Rose's hand to help her up, kissing her cheek as he did and touching her bum on purpose then sliding his arm around her waist as he guided her through the tables.
Rose had noticed the two women as she got up and was aware they were staring at Jon and when he placed his hand on her waist, she slid her arm around him but not before when he put his hand on her bum, she moved making it look like she was enjoying it, which she was. She was really enjoying the way he touched her but he didn't normally make a display of it when they were out but he did make a few exceptions to show off. If he was going to dump her, he wouldn't be making a show of affection in public to annoy two women, he would be flirting with them.
Back in their room, she decided she was going to slowly tease him to see if he would give her any idea as to what he was waiting to talk about and ask her. Maybe he wanted to ask her that if she didn't want to give herself to him fully after all, he was giving her the chance to say so and part as friends or just walk away. She had to get changed, she decided to wear the dress she had got the other week that he had treated her to and maybe he would ask why she had chosen that one. It wasn't too fancy a dress, she was going to leave the best one until Monday night or if he told her to get dressed up and she had bought some new underwear for the occasion, some that left nothing to the imagination, even more so than the last lot she had bought.
She asked him if he wanted to watch her get changed, they normally just undressed each other most of the time, Rose was no longer going in the bathroom to get ready for bed and now, she had to change anyway so it was time to make something out of it, to put any doubt out of Jon's mind that she was going to back out of their relationship and whatever it was he was going to ask her, that it wouldn't be if she wanted to leave him or give him a reason to leave her. Six weeks left, she had to last and had to start giving more instead of letting him do it all.
"So, loverboy, you want me to get changed in front of you?" she asked, swaying in front of him and taking off the cream coloured blouse she was wearing, button by button, revealing her black lacy see through bra and throwing the blouse at him.
He caught it and said, "What do you think, and what's with the loverboy? You know if you give me a name, I'll have to give you one, don't you, sex kitten?"
Rose blushed slightly but continued what she was doing as she slid down the black cotton trousers she was wearing and threw them towards him, which he caught. "Okay, now you're going to fasten the dress I'm going to wear after I go get it from the wardrobe but first, you're going to come over here, throw me on the bed and snog the life out of me after you take my underwear off that is."
He didn't need telling twice as he moved towards her, stood over her and reached to unfasten her bra and while he was doing that, Rose was unfastening his trousers as he hurriedly stepped out of them, pulling her panties down at the same time. Then Rose unbuttoned his shirt as he moved her onto the bed and lay her down, crawling on top of her and looking down over her. This was the first time she had indicated to him she wanted sex in the afternoon, not that they got much chance and on top of the bed, not actually in it. She initiated things by grabbing his neck and pulling him down on top of her and they began kissing. Jon had taken his shirt off but he had left his shorts on, leaving up to Rose whether she wanted him to take them off or not.
Rose wanted to find out what he wanted to ask her and was using the process of elimination, if he was willing to have sex when she wanted to just before he told her, the chances were he was not intending leaving her. Time to put her theory to the test. She unfastened his hair so it hung loosely, took hold of the waistband of his shorts and tugged at them to pull them down. That gave him his answer as he turned over and pulled her on top of him, whispering her name.
"Well this is a nice surprise, I could get used to this, it's a shame we're usually in the theatre at this time. Maybe we should start locking my dressing room door?" he said as she began nipping at his neck.
It wasn't long before they were both calling each other's name as he gently moved against her, telling her to say when to stop as Rose was gasping at his touch. He made her feel like she was really special, that he really cared about her and was willing only to do what she wanted. As he moved against her sending pulses of delight to her, she kissed his neck as he buried his face in her neck and they lay together.
They slowly stopped and Jon tried to move to turn her around, both rolling over together until they stopped halfway and Rose suddenly let out a moan and began to move against him as the way they had moved had made her more excited, legs wrapped around each other and they began kissing deeply and Jon whispered he loved her and Rose knew whatever he was going to say, it was not they were breaking up as they continued.
They finally got dressed, Jon fastening her bra and the zip of her dress, nearly making them late as he was busy kissing her back as he zipped it up and just as he finished buttoning his shirt, getting away with Rose fastening it and taking three times longer as she was brushing her hair and putting on a little light powder on her face, he came up behind her and took a square box from his pocket and opened it, revealing a silver necklace with a pink rose and he placed it around her neck.
"I had it made for you Sweetheart, I hope you like it, do you? A rose for my beautiful Rose, it doesn't sound cheesy does it? I mean it Rose, you are beautiful and I love you and you're all mine, I mean at least I hope you're all mine, will you be mine?"
"It's lovely and unusual and I love it and no, saying that isn't cheesy, not in the least bit and yes, I'm yours as long as you're mine, you are aren't you? Even though nearly the whole female population on the planet are in love with you, you're only mine?"
"Rose, I'm only yours, no-one else's and I chose you out of the entire female population, because you're special, Rose Tyler, very special and earlier when we left the garden, I made a point of showing at least two of them that I'm yours," he laughed.
Rose knew he had done that on purpose, he didn't normally touch her bum even accidentally while they were out. The most they did was hold hands and kiss on the cheek or walk with their arms around each other but everything else was just for when they were alone.
After another kiss, they made their way down to the dining room, people were still staring at Jon, Rose had a mind to get their attention and tell them it was only long for a play he was in but didn't want them to get thrown out of the hotel so she kept quiet and stared back at them instead. They were talking all way through their meal and afterwards, they took a drink out into the garden, the terrace had just been lit up and Jon asked her how she was enjoying their break so far. Nothing though about what he had really brought her there for but if it was bad news, Rose thought she would probably rather wait until it was nearly time to leave but after the events earlier, she was seriously doubting that though but it was still at the back of her mind and she didn't want to confront him with it or it may really happen and spoil a perfectly romantic weekend.
Rose had gone quiet and he asked what was wrong.
"Rose Sweetheart, you've gone very quiet, you're not going to start zoning out on me again are you? I thought you were okay now you've told me about Mickey? Or is it something else? You're not keeping any secrets from me are you because if you are, you can tell me and if it makes you feel any better, we can talk about them, there's still a lot you don't know about me, well when I say a lot, most of it is probably already on the internet but you don't want to believe everything you read on there. Even when I've given interviews, they twist everything around and take things out of context to twist it to their own purpose. Rose, tell me what's bothering you, please?"
Rose looked at him, deep into his gorgeous brown eyes and knew how much he loved her, she regretted even thinking he was going to break up with her, not the way he was looking at her now.
"I'm sorry, it's just when you said you wanted to bring me away for the weekend, I didn't know what to expect, I certainly didn't expect all this and I think this afternoon, what with that four poster bed, I got a little carried away but I'm glad I did because I know you've been more than patient with me when I didn't expect you to be but I want us to start doing things like that, spontaneously, just seizing the moment to do something different and we just don't get the time. I just want to please you, I don't want you to think that giving myself completely to you is never going to happen because it will, I'm just not ready yet and I love all the things we already do, I'm just worried it's not enough for you, that's all."
"Oh Rose, it's more than enough and I will wait for you because you're worth it but I can't wait forever. Okay, I was going to wait until Monday night to ask you but now seems as good a time as any to ask you what I brought you here for."
Rose thought this was it, he was finally going to ask her what he was clearly working up to do. She told herself not to be disappointed if he didn't propose because she really wasn't ready for that, even pretending to be engaged for six weeks and have her mother start making wedding plans because Jackie wouldn't have waited a second to start the preparations.
"Rose, I do have something really important to ask you. I wanted to ask you ." He trailed off and took her face in his hands and kissed her, Rose's heart was pounding, wishing she was like the Timelord part of him that had two hearts as she waited for him to continue as he broke the kiss. "Sweetheart, you know how much I love you, we've had almost six wonderful weeks together and when you told me the other week you loved me, you made me really happy and I will wait for you but like I said, I can't wait forever so I know it's too soon for us to get engaged and you'd probably turn me down but I got you this."
He stopped and got a small ring box out of his pocket containing a pink sapphire rose shaped silver ring and placed it on her right hand.
"This is a promise ring, a promise that when the time is right, I'm going to ask you to marry me and in return, I want you to promise me that when I do you'll be certain and give me your answer and I also ask you now Rose, tell me when you think you'll be ready to give yourself to me, not an exact date but I just need some indication as to how long before you'll be with me without reservation because I have never loved anyone the way I love you, my beautiful Rose."
As he placed the ring on her finger, she looked at him with tears in her eyes, no-one had ever said such beautiful words to her, looked at her in the way he was looking now and she took his face into her hands and said, "I love you Jon, I want to be with you more than anything." She kissed him and told herself she had to give him something in return, a promise of when she would be with him so she whispered in his ear, "Closing night."
He looked at her and was puzzled. "Closing night? Oh, you mean the night the play closes?" he smiled. "That's almost six weeks Rose and we'll have been together almost three months but if that's your promise to me, I accept. You do know it will be late when we get finished that night, don't you?"
Rose nodded to him and kissed him again.
"Oh Rose, if it's four in the morning I won't care if you will really be mine, my love because I know you will make it well worth the wait. Can we settled on one thing definitely? That we'll work up to this in even more ways? Let's go to bed and I'll show you what I have in mind."
He got up and held out his hand to her and Rose stopped in front of him. Well it wasn't what she quite expected but it was a good thing, something solid, a real commitment and she had given him something in return but there was one more thing she wanted, something she could remember when it was all over that they almost got engaged.
She took his other hand, held out the finger he had placed the ring on and said, "Then put it on my other hand, not as an engagement ring but I want to wear it on that hand, as a sign that I love you and let people think we're engaged, we'll just tell them that we're thinking about it and I wanted to wear something while we were."
He took the ring from the finger it was on and placed it on her left hand, kissing the back of it as he let go.
"So, shall I show you some of the many ways then?" he smiled, taking her hand and leading her inside.
Rose followed willingly, she was more than happy now they had finally settled things between them, glad he had chosen not to wait when she had thought it was all going to end and she had made a promise to him and he wouldn't press her to give in now and on closing night of the play, when they got home, she could get him to open the watch, even if it was four in the morning and she would have accomplished what they set out to do, let him be a normal Human male who had fallen in love with her without doing the ultimate, without crossing the point of no return. If after he opened the watch he wanted to continue their relationship, she would be more than willing to do so. She just hoped he would remember absolutely everything if he did so they wouldn't have to go through it all again because she was quite happy the way things were.
Once in their room, Jon unfastened her dress, leaving her in her bra and panties and Rose unbuttoned his shirt, slowly this time, running her fingers on his chest as each button was opened, then unzipped his trousers for him as he stepped out of them and he led her over to the bed and as he pulled back the covers, took her underwear off and they kissed but before he took his shorts off he whispered he wanted to show her one of the ways they could work up to their ultimate goal.
Rose kissed his neck as she held onto him as he was looking down on her, he was lying on his side, kissing just under her ear and whispered, "Rose, I want to watch you as I touch you, is that okay?"
Rose just nodded as he lay her back and began to move his fingers as she was tumbling over the edge with the pleasure he was giving her, their first time and he smiled with her, just seeing the delight she got from it until she whispered his name.
He smiled down at her, she reached her arms up and grabbed his neck and they kissed then she let one hand fall to his shorts, tugging them down and it would have been so easy just to give in right there and then but he didn't ask her, he just lay on her and kissed her again, gently touching until they fell asleep.
The next morning, Jon woke her by kissing her neck and telling her it was breakfast time but he could order room service if she wanted. Rose declined and said she would rather go down to the dining room, she wanted to show off her ring. Jon didn't think that such a good idea and tried to persuade her to put it back on her other hand but she adamantly refused, holding her hand out and admiring it.
"I know it's not an engagement ring but this is where I want to wear it and when you do ask me, you can put this one back on my other hand but until then, this is where it stays, unless you really do object to me wearing it on this hand? You don't do you?"
"No Sweetheart, I don't object but everyone will get the wrong idea and it could cause all kinds of speculation, the papers will say we're just covering up the fact we got engaged by denying it, that's all and they've just started to leave us alone, you're just going to add fuel to the fire but if you are sure you can handle it, then no, I don't object to you wearing it on your left hand, it pleases me that you would want to wear it on that hand and once people get used to seeing it, there won't be as much fuss when I do buy you an engagement ring because I want to start making long term plans, if you do. We should start talking about when the play finishes and I don't just mean about us being together properly but about you moving in with me, giving up your job and your apartment, getting you a job in the theatres or getting you officially signed up as my P.A. If you become my personal assistant, it will get you in everywhere where I get a part in a play without any complications because you'll be working for me, not the theatres. What do you say Rose, what do you want to do? You don't have to work at all if you don't want to but it will make it easier, save you being at home on your own."
Rose didn't really have to think about it, there wasn't going to be an 'after the play finishes' at all, it was all going to end, no matter how much she would want a life like that but at least she knew he was including her in his plans, wanted to make them with her, long term plans at that. He was intending asking her to marry him in the near future, probably some time after the play finished but he would wait now, there was no rush, she had accepted his promise ring. He was looking at her as she just held onto him, he was holding her at arms length to see what she was going to say.
"Jon, I really want to start making plans too, with you. Being your P.A sounds just right, it will get me in everywhere you go, save loads of trouble with different places. I have to give a month's notice at the theatre and for my flat, the rent's paid anyway and most of the stuff isn't mine, it either came with the flat or it's Kay's she just left it, she'll have to get it moved. There's just my personal stuff to move. What exactly were you planning?"
"Well, I thought we could pack everything the day after the play finishes, hand your keys in then drive down to your new home and I'd take you out to dinner and who knows?" he smiled. "I'll book us a holiday in Spain, making sure we visit Barcelona of course, for just after the end of the play and we'll fly straight off. Then when we get back, I'll have to choose which role to take next, there's always loads waiting for me but I've been sending them back while I've doing this one. I should start looking at them again now. I've been thinking though Rose, about what your mother said, about doing TV, maybe I could do some TV plays, do you think people will watch me on TV or should I stick to the theatre?"
Rose thought he would be great on TV and wondered why he had supposedly stuck to the theatre but there again, there were lots of actors who never made the transition either way. As they got dressed to go down to breakfast, she told him so.
"You'd be great on TV, you'd be even more popular then, more people would get to see you. Maybe you should think about it, especially after that live broadcast you were in."
Rose wasn't sure now if the actor she used to like even was an actor now, she hadn't heard of him so maybe Jon was the version of him in this illusion so in theory, Jon could have taken his place in popularity, after all, Jon could pass as his double and no-one had said anything or mistaken him for the Scottish actor. She must look him up and see what he was doing, make sure he was okay. She had been so busy involved with Jon, she had missed a lot of things, it had taken precedence over everything, keeping The Doctor safe as Jon.
Rose went to the spa after breakfast while Jon went to the sauna, they were meeting at noon for lunch then going to spend the afternoon going around the castle. Women in the spa spied her ring and asked if she was with the man with the long hair and asking if they were engaged and Rose tried to tell them they weren't but it didn't seem to make any difference so she decided to take no notice of them and enjoyed the spa. At least they didn't seem to know who he was. She was finished with the spa and Jon wasn't around so she went to wait in the lounge area and picked up a magazine. It only had an article about Jon in it, he must have done the interview a while ago since she didn't remember him going to any recently and she read with fascination the questions he was asked and was going to show him it when they met up but something disturbed her about the article.
She looked a the date on the magazine and it was only a week old but she figured that magazines didn't always print articles right away after interviews but from what she read, it made it seem like it was recent and although they had spent some time apart before going to the theatre such as going shopping or having errands to run he hadn't said he was being interviewed. He had been interviewed by a woman journalist and she had got quite flirty towards the end, asking him personal questions to which he had answered quite jokingly but they had printed it none the less along with a piece before and after the interview saying he was polite, charming and quite a ladies man.
She knew he could never have given this interview unless it had been given the day before they met in the theatre but he had the hair extension fitted, that would have taken a while and she didn't know exactly when he had arrived of course, it could have been just a few minutes or a day. Rose had a horrifying thought, what if the Tardis had landed him here weeks or months ago and he really had been living there but wouldn't her mother have known when Rose first told her about what they had done? Jackie had never heard of him so that couldn't be the case. Was it something else? Had there been a real Jonathan Smyth and The Doctor had taken his place? If there had, Rose had never heard of him unless . No, it couldn't be!
She was interrupted from her thoughts by someone leaning over her shoulder saying, "You should never believe what you read in magazines you know. He kind of looks like me a bit, shorter hair and sideburns but definitely looks like me. Are you waiting for someone?"
Rose decided to play along. She held up her ring and said, "I'm waiting for my boyfriend, you might have seen him around. He kind of looks a bit like the man in this article but he has long hair tied back in a ponytail."
She held up the magazine and it was taken from her hands.
"Well if I see him, I'll let him know you're waiting for him but are you sure you want to wait on your own? I mean, he may have stood you up and well, it would be a great shame for you to remain here on your own. Would you care to have lunch with me and if he doesn't show, then maybe you could spend the afternoon with me? I have tickets for a tour around the castle."
The magazine was handed back.
"Well, I may just take up your invitation since he doesn't seem to be around but I don't know what you look like since you're standing behind me. Why don't you come round here and let me see you or you afraid I will decline your invitation should I see you before I give you an answer? Maybe you could describe yourself first?"
"That's easy then, I look just like the man in magazine article, if you like that type but I've got long hair, how do you feel about men having long hair?"
"Oh, I just love men with long hair, I can't tell you what they do to me, especially when they offer to take me to lunch then show me around a castle. First though, I need you to promise that if my boyfriend comes back, you'll let me break it to him gently that I'm spending my time with you."
"Rose Tyler, would you really go off with another man if I stood you up?" Jon laughed. "I'm sorely disappointed now and you are going to have to make it up to me. Why are you reading this article anyway, don't you know enough about me?"
She saw this as an opportunity to find out when it had taken place and what had happened, had he actually chatted this woman journalist up right before he had asked her out to dinner the first day they met in the theatre? Still, he hadn't known her then she supposed, she couldn't really blame him, maybe it had been the day before after all otherwise her mother would have heard of him before she was mesmerised just like the rest of the population and if it was a good looking male you were talking about, Jackie would not have missed him and she hadn't heard of him until she was under the same spell as everyone else.
Jon went to sit beside her and took the magazine from her so she asked him.
"So, when did you do this interview, I don't remember you telling me you were going to one. Was it while you were still in London?"
"Actually, I don't remember, I suppose it was in London, may have been a while ago, you know what magazines are like. It was certainly before I got the long hair," he joked, reaching back for his ponytail, much to the annoyance of some of the snooty guests.
Rose took hold of his hair and said, "Speaking of which, I think you should wear it loose while we're here just to annoy everyone," she joked as they got up to go for lunch.
"Don't bet me Rose, you know what happened the last time," he laughed as he took hold of her hand.
They had a lovely afternoon walking around the castle, stopping to have some tea mid-afternoon in the castle tearooms and buying souvenirs, walking around hand in hand, Jon paying more attention to Rose than their surroundings. Rose was thinking this would be a great place for him to actually propose if he was going to and an even better place for a wedding but she forgot neither of them were actually going to happen. Well he might get round to proposing to her before this was over but she could never accept. The ring he gave her as a promise was as near and as real as it was going to get.
They just had time to get changed and a bit to spare to fool around on the bed as Rose initiated it again by pulling his hair loose which Jon now took as a sign she wanted him, she had a real fascination for him with long hair as he had discovered quite early in their relationship but now she was using it to tell him she wanted him after the previous afternoon.
Week 7
The rest of the bank holiday weekend was spent walking around the lake and Jon drove them to a nearby village and on their last evening, they walked around the floodlit gardens together, arms around each others waists and reached a bench on the far side of the lake and they sat down. Jon asked her how she had enjoyed their weekend and had it been worthwhile the wait to see where he was taking her.
"I'm just glad you decided not to make me wait until tonight to tell me why you brought me here. I thought you'd make me wait until the last minute before you told me though."
She leaned forward and kissed his cheek and played with his ponytail.
"Don't start Rose, you know what that leads to and we're in the middle of the hotel gardens," he joked. "I was going to wait until tonight but you brought the subject up and then it wasn't fair of me to make you wait, well it was pretty important. You're not disappointed are you? Would you have preferred me to wait to ask you? No, perhaps not and it wouldn't have been fair. You got some attention from wearing that ring?"
"Just in the spa yesterday, some woman asked if I was with the man with the long hair, I tried not to laugh too much when they asked and I was tempted to say it was an engagement ring but I didn't. You're right though, people will think it's an engagement ring even if we deny it so will you put it back on my other hand for me? I just wanted to see it on this hand, it doesn't have to stay there."
Rose held out her left hand, expecting Jon to take the ring off but he didn't.
"I don't care what people think Rose, if they want to say we're engaged, then let them, I want you to keep it right where it is Sweetheart, if that's where you want to wear it, I'm more than happy to let you."
He kissed her cheek and got up, holding his hand out to help her up and said, "Come on, if you want to let my hair loose, Allons-y."
Rose sat for a moment, that was what the old him used to say all the time plus, he had forgotten when and where he had done that magazine interview, was the illusion fading? Was it too long a time for him to remain human or was it just a coincidence? She got up and allowed him to lead her back to their room. They were leaving in the morning right after an early breakfast. They would just have time to unpack when they got back before going to the theatre and Rose knew that everyone would notice the ring and no amount of denying would quash the rumours they had been away to get engaged. Maybe Jon had known that and had asked her indirectly to gauge her reaction to getting engaged? If she hadn't accepted his promise and he hers, then he'd know she didn't want to get engaged at some point but if she was open to the idea, then no doubt it would actually happen.
Rose also thought that if people thought they were already engaged, when he actually did propose, then all the fuss would be over and they could do it quietly. It still was never really going to happen anyway. She had decided that if somehow, he did, she would have to say yes or fear losing him at the last minute because if she turned him down, he would, as Jon, be bitterly disappointed and if there was still some time to go, he might leave her, they couldn't continue to work together or maybe they could just stay as they were and he'd ask again but it was a risk she wasn't willing to take. She had to see this through to the very end now.
So the last night in the hotel, on the four poster bed, Rose teased him again by loosening his hair and running her fingers through it, oh how she loved that long hair, it just did something to her she couldn't explain and more than ever now because they both knew that when she untied it, she meant business as she let Jon undress her then did the same to him. Rose knew she was going to miss this if they parted after he changed back so she intended making the most of it, something to remember him by even if it meant trying to win him back if he wanted her to leave. She knew she could never leave him altogether, she might have to settle for them being just friends again but only if necessary.
As they gently made love, still not crossing the line but discovering new ways of pleasing each other, Rose was getting slightly more daring and both laughing together as he whispered to her that she had suddenly got bolder over the weekend and they should spend every weekend away. Rose had said they did spend every weekend away, at their other apartment but he said that didn't count. They also made more plans afterwards, that Jon would contact his accountants and make the arrangements to get Rose officially made his P.A as soon as the play was finished although he said she wouldn't have to worry about finances, he would take care of her. Rose only wished this was going to become true.
They departed the hotel early the next morning, unpacked when they got back and drove to the theatre. Still sat in the car, Jon stopped her getting out. Rose thought it was because fans were already gathering but he said it wasn't just that.
"Rose, when we walk in there, everyone is going to see your ring including those fans out there and I don't know how people are going to react. I really wanted to do this quietly but that's not going to happen. Are you sure you're ready for this?"
Rose shook her head, she really wasn't ready for all the attention she was now going to get, 'Rose Tyler gets engaged to Jonathan Smyth after romantic long weekend together' she could already see the evening papers' headlines and it all didn't seem such a good idea now.
"I thought I was, I really did but I think it would be best if I swapped fingers with this ring, at least when we're out. I can swap it back when we get home."
She began to take the ring off her finger but he stopped her.
"No, leave it, don't go swapping it to please other people. This is between us, not everyone else. Let them think what they want. If it gets out of hand, we'll go to the local paper and tell them it's not an engagement ring but for now, the ring stays where it is, I love you Rose, nothing is going to change that. If it gets nasty then we'll do something about it."
He kissed the back of her left hand, smoothing the ring back down her finger and they got out of the car. Jon joined Rose as they were escorted from the car, the security man on duty had seen the crowd and them sat in the car and was waiting, some calling his name and taking photos of them both as he tried to shield Rose from most of them. Once inside the theatre though, Rose could feel the atmosphere was tense when they walked into the communal dressing area. Kay completely ignored her, just because she had turned down a dinner invitation, Rose could not believe it was just that, maybe she was jealous Rose had found someone, maybe Kay was no longer the centre of attention or maybe she was just annoyed that she had been brought from the other theatre to replace Rose, thinking they would still see each other since she had moved out, then Rose had found herself a boyfriend. Kay was not the only one who had a bloke, a lot of the other's had boyfriends or were married so why was everyone turning against her? Was it only jealousy? Had she never had a boyfriend at all the entire time she was supposed to have been there? Rose didn't really know, she didn't really know any of these people even though they thought she had been there two years and that Mark had been there before and tried to ask her out.
They managed to get to Jon's dressing room without any questions but just as Rose was following him in when Mary called her over.
"Rose, I need to talk to you, will you come with me?"
Rose was getting worried, had something happened on the Saturday they took off? Had the open door policy been enforced? They had been closing it to after everyone knew they were seeing each other. Mary took her to a quiet corner and sat her down.
"Rose, I'm afraid it's been decided that since you and Jon are now living together, you're going to have to keep it outside the theatre. Most of the others don't have their husbands or boyfriends here, some do but not working closely together and not seeing each other all of the time and a lot have complained about the amount of time you spend with Jon. I know you were asked to look after him by the director but the assistant director mentioned he had seen signs something had been going on in Jon's dressing room and brought it to his attention. We're going to have to get someone else to look after him, you'll have to go back with the rest of the girls."
"I can't go back to work with them, not if they're all against me, how do you think it would make me feel? What's wrong with everyone around here? I'm not with him when he's on stage. Okay, we'll start coming in later then, give them less to talk about, just come in before time and leave the door wide open. Anyway, now's as good a time to tell you I'm leaving anyway, when the play's over. I was going to give my notice in next week so you can tell everyone to stop being so petty and grow up and that I was already planning on leaving. I'm going to live in London with Jon. Is there anything else because he's waiting to get his hair washed, we just got back from our weekend away and I didn't have time to do it at home."
Mary just looked at her, what else could she say? Rose was leaving, that was true, with or without Jon in just five weeks and was adamant she was not going to have a bunch of jealous cows get the better of her. So Mary said she would talk to the director again and in the meantime, stay out of Jon's dressing room when he wasn't having his hair or make-up done. Rose reminded her that she would be handing her notice in next week and to tell the director.
Rose went off to find the object of everyone's jealousy and found him talking to one of the older male actors as he was waiting for Rose to wash his hair. He smiled when he saw her but he could tell there was something wrong with her but didn't say anything. She washed his hair with hardly a word, feeling the glares of some of the others and there was no way she could stay out here with them and from now on, she was going to make sure she washed it for him at home and spend as little time in the theatre as possible. Why should she let them win? At least they had been too busy glaring at her to notice she was wearing a ring on her wedding finger.
Jon got up to go to his dressing room but Rose was reluctant to follow him in, despite drying his hair before he left the chair she didn't want to appear too keen after Mary's warning. Jon had other ideas however as he waited at the door for her to follow. She walked over but didn't follow him inside as she stood in the doorway.
"Rose, what's wrong? You've been acting funny since we got here, has someone said something to you, did Mary say something? Tell me what it was."
Rose proceeded to tell him of her conversation with Mary and now she wasn't supposed to spend too much time in his dressing room now and that Mary was speaking to the director about it.
"It's totally unfair, just because some of them are jealous, why should they win? Now I'm being tossed back into the lion's den, after I was asked personally by the director to look after you while you're here. I don't recall being warned not to fall in love with you."
Jon took her hand and pulled her away from the door to the opposite end of the room and put his arms around her, not caring if anyone just happened to walk past and take their time looking in. He held her tight and whispered he would take care of it.
"You're not going back out there, you look after me, no-one else. What's wrong with these people? So a few get jealous of you, it's no grounds for keeping you from still looking after me though. We came out in the open about it, we're not hiding anything. Is it because you're wearing a ring now?"
"No, it can't be, Mary said it was over the weekend which means that because I took Saturday off with you, it just made things worse."
"Right then, I'm going to go find the director and if he says you're not taking care of me any more, then we put our plan into action a few weeks early. I'll make a phone call to my accountants and draw up a contract for you to become my P.A then you quit here without notice and work for me. Just storm out and tell them you're not giving in to a load of jealous women. Surely the director will see it for what it is? You're really good at your job Rose, why do you think I was so impressed with you? Besides, putting someone else on the job will not solve the problem if they're jealous of you, it just gives them the satisfaction of seeing they won."
Rose wasn't sure even Jon had that much influence with the director but it was worth a try. She couldn't go out there and work with the others knowing Jon was in here with someone else. The director had only given her compliments just before they went away, saying what a good job she was doing so why would he change his mind because of a few women? No, it had to be something or someone else that was causing all this. Was it Mark? Was he really so petty because she had turned him down he would resort to this?
"Jon, you know I told you Mark asked me out before we really started seeing each other?" Jon nodded. "Well it could be him, stirring up trouble amongst the girls to get back at me. He was so arrogant the last time he asked me, saying if I change my mind about you and all that. Do you think he could do that? When I came back from holiday, it was like he had been waiting for me and the first time I turned him down, I wasn't even going out with you, then he saw us together and maybe he was the one who got jealous of me being in here all the time, he must have talked to some of the girls, told them how I had turned him down and they joined in because they were also jealous of me for spending time with you. Any one of them could have got the job but it was given to me so there was some there before."
"We should both go and talk to the director then, you tell him about Mark, I'll tell him you look after me or I bring my own personal assistant in to do it, which will be you but I'm not saying that. Come on then, we still have time."
"Just one thing though, about being your P.A. Do I really have to have a contract and everything? We don't really need that, it can be just between us and once we move in together properly to the other apartment it won't matter. I don't need any contracts, you said you'd take care of me."
"We'll talk about that later Sweetheart, let's go see the director. Now come here and kiss me 'cos we haven't had time since we got back and I missed your kisses." He pulled her close and they kissed, not caring if anyone was passing by.
They were almost at the director's office when they saw Mary come out. She just looked at Rose then at Jon and said nothing. Rose thought it could have gone either way but if she wasn't saying anything, then the director would be dealing with it personally, not sending someone else to do the job. Jon was more or less the star of the play, people were coming just to see him and Rose wondered if it would be so popular had he not been in it. She guessed she would never know.
Jon knocked on the director's door and got a 'come in' back. They both entered and were indicated to sit down but Jon said he preferred to stand, with his arms crossed and Rose thought this was more like the old him.
The director looked up. "Ah, Rose, Jon, I was just coming to find you. It seems we have a bit of a problem with you two. When I put you on the job of looking after Jon, I never expected you two would get together and have the entire theatre talking about you Rose. You've caused a bit of a stir recently and I would really like to know who you've upset to get it to this stage that Mary and the assistant director have to come to me with complaints from the other girls about you spending all the time in Jon's dressing room."
Rose just stood there but it was Jon who spoke up.
"You can't blame Rose for all this. I initiated the relationship by asking her out so if anyone's to blame, it's me and if the women out there can't handle Rose being in my dressing room when I ask her to stay then tough, Rose is not giving in to their jealousy. Rose is the best person for the job, regardless of our relationship and if when she has finished her job she remains with me, then that's our business, not anyone else's. You asked Rose to only look after me and that's what she's doing. Do you want her to do another job when she's finished doing my hair and make-up? If so, then tell her. What else is she supposed to do when she's finished? Stand around outside on her own while everyone else is busy? If everyone is being attended to, then there is no reason why Rose can't do what she likes and if that includes staying with me then people had better get used to it."
Rose was astounded the way he stood up for her, just like he had always done really, ever since they met. It was typical of The Doctor to stand up for people, that's what he does, makes a stand.
The director seemed a bit flustered at Jon's outburst but like it or not knew that Jon was the star attraction in the play. In fact on Saturday when it was announced Jon would not appear, there had been a lot of complaints and people had asked at the box office why he was not appearing but notice had been given a few days before and a notice had been put up from the start of the play stating that all artist were subject to availability and may be substituted without prior notification in events such as illness or injury and an appearance was not guaranteed in such events. The public expected an actor to appear even if they were severely injured or serious ill? Not to mention they only got one day off and a lot of the older actors were finding it hard going and they themselves had been replaced on several occasions.
The director had no choice but to back down when Jon said if he didn't, then he would employ Rose as his personal assistant and she would no longer be working for the theatre.
"Okay Jon, I'll let it carry on as it is in view that Mary already informed me of Rose's intention to leave after the play anyway. I suppose a few disgruntled staff members out of the entire cast and crew will have to learn to live with it and you're right, I did personally ask Rose to look after you, I just never reckoned it would turn romantic but you have both made it very clear you are involved with each other and you haven't tried to hide it so you will work out your notice for us Rose?" Rose said yes. "Right, the matter is closed then and if any more complaints are received then I'll deal with them. You were right to not sit back and let this happen but there are a lot of people here, I had to at least consider the situation. I see you two didn't waste your weekend away then?"
The director pointed to the ring on Rose's finger.
Rose just blushed and retracted her hand into Jon's as Jon just smirked. "No, it's not an engagement ring not yet anyway, it's just I gave it to Rose and she wanted to wear it on that finger. Who am I to argue with her?" he laughed, giving her hand a squeeze.
"Well everyone is going to think it's an engagement ring so don't be surprised at the comments."
"We accept the fact that's what people are going to think and when we do actually get engaged all the fuss will have blown over. At least that's the plan," Jon laughed.
"Rose, you're being very quiet in all this, according to Mary you had plenty to say earlier which is why she came to me. She said you were giving your notice in and you weren't going to let the others get the better of you. I don't blame you for sticking up for yourself, a lot of others would have just taken it."
"Yeah, well someone told me you don't just give in, you speak up and make a stand. I don't let people trample all over me. So I'll give the personnel department my notice next Monday and give you time to get a replacement before the next production starts." Rose let go of Jon's hand and looked at the ring sitting on her finger. "You know, I might just play along if people ask if it's an engagement ring. Either that or not deny it, it could be fun since I really don't see that many people outside of the theatre anyway." She turned to Jon and said, "You had better go finish getting ready and from tomorrow, we'll just come in later, do your hair at home."
Rose took his hand again and they left the office and went back to his dressing room, hand in hand with a few looks of disappointment on some faces as it was clear who had won that round and Jon made a point of closing the door to, not all the way but enough for a bit of privacy as they stood behind the door kissing.
No-one said anything during the entire performance, some of the actresses had noticed her ring and asked her about it and since she had nothing against them told them the truth and they just teased her about her wishing it really was which she accepted as just a bit of fun, not like some of them had begun treating her. She was glad she was leaving, one way or another she would be gone at the end of the play.
After they got home, they forgot all about what had happened as Rose was a bit upset, Jon was the one who let his hair out of the ponytail Rose had tied it in before they left the theatre. Jon said a few people had asked him some personal questions but he said he had declined to answer them.
The rest of the week wasn't too bad, they started going in later the following day but Jon always made a point of closing the door, just to let everyone know he was not pleased with the treatment Rose had been receiving and on the Wednesday, just after they arrived, Rose was horrified to find Jon had cornered Mark just as she was about to follow him into his dressing room. They were having a heated discussion when Rose decided to stay back out of the way but she heard something about if he caught Mark trying to chat his girlfriend up again then have the nerve to try to split them up inside the theatre, he would get him fired.
Rose thought that was not going to help since the two actors shared a scene together that called for them to have close physical contact and thought that one of them might get more than physical and punch the other. Worst of all, the scene was on a gantry a good few feet above the stage and Rose was really afraid something might happen although there were very strict health and safety procedures in place to prevent any real accidents but it didn't stop her from worrying Jon might be on the receiving end.
By the Saturday afternoon matinee, things had died down and it hadn't come to blows on the stage. Mark was staying out of their way off stage and must have got the message and also had noticed the ring on Rose's finger so he had maybe figured he was wasting his time after all. They got away fairly early after the evening performance as Rose was waiting by the stage door with Jon's satchel and when he had finished signing autographs, they were escorted through the crowds to Jon's car before everyone had left, gaining an extra twenty minutes or so and they were at their other apartment before one in the morning and the man on desk duty was getting used to them arriving late.
Week 8
Rose knew now there were only four weeks left, they were into their eighth week of this and now they were more than at home with each other. Rose was enjoying their new status, having people guessing if they were engaged or not and playing at neither confirming or denying it when she wanted to. Kay was still not talking to her and Rose had very little choice but to leave things for the time being. She went into the personnel department to hand her notice in officially on the Monday morning, which was reluctantly accepted and she left her forwarding address and had handed notice in on the apartment before they had gone to the theatre and Rose was getting Jon to sort out the bills for her, just for show and to give him something to do although it really wouldn't matter but it had to be seen to be done to keep up the appearance of normality.
Nothing was going to be normal for her again, once this was over and the time was getting nearer with every passing day. It felt longer than the actual time it had been for her. She was feeling herself thinking she was going to be bitterly disappointed when it did come to an end but just like any other relationship that came to an end, there would be tears and swearing she would never love anyone else and she wouldn't, it would be true this time because she could never love anyone the way she did The Doctor, whether as himself or as Jon. Rose was hoping it would be the same for him, he must have loved other women in his 900 years as a Timelord and she accepted that, just as he had accepted she went out with Mickey before she met him, both as The Doctor and as Jon. It was possible for them to be together once this was over, she would be willing to try, if he was and maybe now, he had been given a chance.
Rose went through the motions of letting her mother know she was moving into Jon's apartment and leaving the theatre after the play finished and Jackie wasn't surprised in the least and said she might get to see more of her daughter if she was living nearer and was going to thank Jon for bringing her back nearer home when she saw him but Rose said nothing to her about the ring and what it may or may not imply about their relationship. If nothing else, she intended keeping it after this was all over.
Week 9
Now faced with just three weeks left and going fast, Rose was trying to determine what exactly in the flat was supposed to be hers and just hoped Jon didn't want to start moving things over the next few remaining weekends although he said he could take a few of his clothes back the following weekend, he'd only brought the extra ones really for the weekend they had been going away. Rose tried to talk to Kay and more or less had to force her to listen.
"Kay, why are you so mad at me? Just because we had plans that weekend, there was no need to take it so seriously was there? We don't get much chance to go out or go away for more than a day. Why don't we get together the night after the play finishes? We're moving to London but we're not going until the day after that, I've got Jon's hair extension to take out and give him a haircut, then all our things to pack so it will be too much if we go the day after. Come round to us and I'll make us a nice dinner. What do you say? Can't we at least part as friends? I'm not coming back but we can stay in touch with each other surely? I need you to take anything in the flat that belonged to you anyway since I'm handing the keys in."
Kay thought about it and finally gave in, throwing Rose into one of her famous bear hugs that rivalled The Doctor's. "Oh I'm sorry Rose, I was being childish. You got a new bloke and of course you were going to spend all your time with him, I just got all caught up when the other girls were complaining and I shouldn't have done, it was silly. Are we still friends?"
"Yeah, of course we are, so what about that dinner after we get finished here?"
Kay agreed and Rose was kind of sad it would never actually take place because she would be gone by then and no-one would remember her or Jon and if the play had actually been staged, it would have been with another leading actor and another member of the make-up department. She went off to find Jon and told him she had made friends with Kay and of her plan to have them for dinner the night before they left. Jon pointed out though that it would be better if they went out since the flat would be in chaos the day before they left. Rose said she would tell Kay and they would choose somewhere nice to go. Jon said he had hoped to take her out on his own the night before they left but said he'd make up for it when they moved in properly to the other apartment.
Rose had a feeling he had been planning something for that last night here and she had just spoiled it but maybe it was just as well if he had been going to really propose to her. During the week, Jon got several offers of other plays that various directors wanted him to appear in and most of them were within easy travelling distance so he was looking through them all, deciding there were two he was torn between, both which he had never done before, one Shakespeare and one Rose had never heard of. He quite liked the Shakespeare one and so did Rose, it was a comedy and Rose's favourite comedienne was also being asked to appear in it and Rose thought it would be nice to meet her. By the end of the week, Jon had been persuaded to accept the Shakespeare one when he found out he would be able to wear his own clothes and could show off some of his t-shirt collection.
Week 10
Rose was getting really nervous now, two weeks until the end of the play, two weeks to when she was meant to give herself to Jon without reservation, for them to finally be together that was if he didn't open the watch and if she could get him to open it before she had to keep her promise. Even if she showed him the watch the night they got back after the closing performance, he might put things into motion and not even give her the chance to show it to him, he would be so desperate at that point to finally have her he probably wouldn't let her feet touch the ground once they got home.
Her best plan was within the next week to remove the watch from its hiding place and on the final day, let him see it and tell him it was her dad's and she wanted to show it to him. Then when they got home, she would tell him to look inside and that would be it. Now the time was drawing near, it didn't seem fair to deny him, or herself for that matter. He had waited nearly three months for her and she was going to take it away from him, did she have the right to?
Did she, on the other hand, have the right to let him go through with it when he wasn't himself or should she just let it happen and suffer the consequences afterwards that he would go totally mad with her and never forgive her? He had said to hold him off as long as she could and to make sure it didn't go too far but had he any idea when this started how far they were going to get? They had all but done the final act and had almost got carried away on more than one occasion when he had stopped himself just in time. How were they going to go back on that?
If he was going to remember everything, he would remember just how near they had actually got anyway, maybe he'd be embarrassed he had let things go so far, she had little choice but to go along with it or lose him, he'd understand that, wouldn't he? If she let them cross the line, would it be her fault or his? She made her mind up, if it was him that crossed it, she would go along but only if it actually came to it and she would tell him afterwards that she was willing to do it, he hadn't forced her to. Then she would see what would happen.
By Friday, she was getting to the stage she wished it was over, still over a week to go and Jon seemed like he was running out of ideas to keep them from actually getting to the final curtain and it wasn't the stage curtain they were talking about. When they got to their London apartment in the early hours of Saturday morning, he was getting edgy and all the way over, he was quieter than normal. Just eight days to go until they could be together and it was showing on every inch of his face. The Friday night, he had initiated everything, taken the lead and made her moan, made her melt to his touch and brought her to the edge of a very high cliff and she had nearly fallen over and she didn't think she could last any longer, certainly not another seven nights and neither could he.
When they got into the apartment, he was so frantic to get her undressed and into bed, he didn't even stop to take things out of his jacket pocket, he just tossed everything onto the sofa and picked Rose up and put her on the bed. She didn't even have to untie his hair. He knew what that did to her when it was all loose and she could run her fingers through it. It was then he finally broke and told her he was finding it difficult to control himself and that he wanted her so badly right now. Rose didn't know what to say as she lay on him, he was going as far as he dare and Rose was moaning his name and as they moved, she could feel herself just wanting to let go but he stopped just as she was about to say yes. She collapsed onto him, he had been letting Rose stay on top for fear of going to far. He leaned her over onto her side and looked at her.
"Rose, I can't do this any more, I don't know if I'm going to be able to stop next time, I don't know what else to say. I love you, you know that, why can't you be with me? I'm not saying we shouldn't carry on doing what we are doing already, it's just I can't guarantee the next time that I won't go against your wishes and then you'll hate me if I force you and you might fight me off. There's nothing else Rose, nothing else I can do to show you how much I love you. You're asking me to wait another week, I don't think I can do it Rose, I really don't. What are you afraid of? Are you afraid that if we do go the whole way I'll just leave you? Do you think I've been with you nearly three months just to get you to give in to me then I'll say I don't want you any more? Just tell me, what can I do that I already haven't done to prove to you how much I love you?"
Rose just looked at him then buried her face into his chest and he held her tight as she sobbed. She wanted so badly to give in to him, right now, she had been sent to the very edge and didn't know whether to jump or turn back and she was the only one who could make that decision. It would be a decision made for both of them and Jon didn't know it. He thought he was in control of his own destiny but he wasn't, Rose was. If she gave in, it would be both of them giving in. She couldn't even get to the watch. If only she had thought to bring it with her but the Tardis was behind the other flat and they would still have to get back to it if he did open it here. She tried to stall him by continuing to cry, he was rubbing her back and telling her it was okay, that he didn't mean to upset her.
She looked up at him, he was so much in love with her and she with him, as Jon and she couldn't be with him. What was she supposed to do? Have her first time with a person who didn't really exist? What would he think of her when he changed back? Would he think it was unforgivable, that if she really wanted him she would have waited? How could she make him wait another week? She couldn't even count on her monthly, she had already got it over with which was why he was having this outburst now and not last weekend. Even though she took precautions, they had added a day either side just in case they decided to give in.
He was kissing her neck, trying to calm her down, trying to keep himself calm probably. He thought he had upset her but she knew it wasn't that. It was her, it was all her fault for starting this stupid thing in the first place and for letting it go so far but she couldn't take all of the blame, he had wanted it, deep inside, he was still The Doctor and Jon was just drawing on what he had been given by what the Tardis had implanted in him. She could sure do with talking to the ship right now, then she remembered what the ship had told her when she had asked, if there was no other choice, should she go the whole way? The ship had said she should if there was no other choice.
She wiped the tears from her eyes. It was getting late, Rose just asked if they could go to sleep, she was tired.
"It's okay Sweetheart, I didn't mean to upset you, you know I didn't. I just want you so much, it hurts because I can't have you. I know it's your first time and it should be special and we can't have a special evening while we're at the theatre so how about tomorrow night, we'll go somewhere really nice and see what happens? We'll have a nice day out on the river, go somewhere for dinner and when we come back, maybe you'll have had such a special time, you might be relaxed and be with me. What do you say Rose?"
He got no answer, Rose really was tired, she fell asleep in his arms. It was going to have to wait. Jon woke her the following morning to try to have the one-sided conversation he had last night again, preferably with a response from Rose this time.
"You fell asleep last night when I was asking you," he said, as he told her what he had been trying to say. "If you're more relaxed, you may find yourself saying yes to me when I'm just about to give up. I'm sorry about last night, I really am, it's just next week seems so far away now. Let me make it up to you, mmm?" He leaned over and began kissing her neck, working his way down to her breasts as she put her arms around his neck and kissed his neck, ending in their lips meeting.
"Jon, I'm sorry, I'm so scared of losing you if I can't get over this. I do love you, I want to be with you but I just don't know what's stopping me. I really don't deserve you, you've been so patient with me, I know that. I don't want you to be disappointed if I'm not good enough for you."
It was the best she could think of at short notice but not too far from the truth, she was scared of losing him if she did go ahead with it. Scared of him dumping her back at her mother's flat and she would never see him again.
"Oh Rose, is that it? You're scared I'll be disappointed with you and I'll leave you? Sweetheart, everyone is scared their first time, without exception. I can't tell you how much I was scared the first time. It all looks so easy when you see it in films and on TV but in reality, it's something that you can't always explain, you build up to it and think you're ready and then you panic but in the end, you just go with it, it just happens, all you have to do is allow it to happen. Will you Rose, will you allow me to help make it happen for you? I could never be disappointed with you. I love you."
Rose looked at him, was it just a case of giving in when the feeling was right? Should she just allow it to happen? Or try to put it off another week? She didn't think anything she said now was going to make him wait much longer, certainly not another week. It would be her first time, not his, he was over 900 years old in reality and in this charade, he must think he had been with other women to be able to speak about it. It was just her, she was the one holding back, thinking it wasn't fair to go ahead with it because he wasn't himself. Could he really hate her if he asked her to go ahead with it? If he was the one who started it? She had to think fast as he brushed her hair behind her ear and went to kiss her again, waiting for her to say something.
"I am scared Jon, if there has to be a first time, I want it to be with you, will you help me? Can we go out tonight, have a candlelit dinner and everything then when we come back, will you show me there's nothing to be scared of?"
It was all she could do, he had given her every opportunity to back out and she had stayed, encouraged him to make him believe she was going to go ahead with this, now time was running out, it was tonight or never. Maybe her first attempt would end in disaster, she might change her mind at the last second and they would both be disappointed but he had waited so patiently, he would let them try again but one way or another, it was going to happen if not tonight and if it didn't, then she will have tried and tomorrow, she could get to the watch and make him open it, with just a week to go. It was better than with still six weeks to go, she would have given him a better experience than he would have had if it had only lasted six weeks. The Tardis had told her she should, if there was no other choice but was there another choice? He was not forcing her or threatening to leave.
Jon was smiling at her, tracing his finger between her cleavage, pleased at her response.
"Rose, tonight we'll make it a night to remember, as long as you're sure, I'm not trying to pressurise you Sweetheart but I think it's time, I think you're more than ready, you just need some encouragement and I'll make it just right tonight, the full works. Dinner in candlelit surroundings, music but we're not going out, I'm going to make it here for you, I'm not bad at cooking. I'll go get everything I need when the shops open, you go look around in the town while I surprise you with my culinary ingredients, then I'll bring everything back and prepare it, meet you for lunch then we'll take a boat ride and a walk along the river and when we come back, I'll run you a nice hot bath and buy you some scented bath oil and you soak for a while and get dressed. I'll have everything ready for when you are finished and then you'll be totally relaxed. What do you say?"
What could she say, it sounded perfect. "You'd go to all that trouble for me? It sounds wonderful, I hope I'm worth it," she smiled, putting her head on his chest as he drew her near.
"Oh Rose, you are more than worth it, I'd do it every night if it made you happy and when we move here in just over a week, I will do it every Sunday night, I promise. If you're worried though that it doesn't happen, there's no need to, if you feel you can't go through with it, I won't be mad at you, we'll just try again, I'm not going to leave you because of it. All we can do is try to make it happen and if you really are ready, then it will. Now let's go get some breakfast, then I'll go off to the supermarket when it opens, you go buy yourself a new dress then we'll meet up. You haven't had a proper look around the town yet, you might as well get used to it, it's not much different to where you've been living."
He kissed her again, then got up, making a point of letting her see what she was to expect later, a sly grin on his face, not that she hadn't seen him before when they undressed but that was only for a few seconds, this he was doing on purpose and if that didn't make her mind up it was actually going to happen, then nothing ever would. Rose had stood in front of him many times, teasing him but now he was getting his revenge and even though he was now Human, being changed from a Timelord, she could tell some things about him can't have changed that much.
Rose just smiled and got out of bed, just as he turned away, another tease. Right, two could play at that game as she deliberately bumped him gently with her bum as she went to her drawer to get clean underwear out before she went to the bathroom. He just smiled and just patted her gently and Rose told him to be careful or she would untie his hair again that he had just tied up to gather the stray bits that had fallen away, Rose would brush it for him before they went out.
They finally went in search of breakfast, they didn't keep any food there that would spoil, just enough for during the day on Sunday, taking the rest back with them and then Jon went off, leaving Rose to wander around the town. She was surprised how big it was, she hadn't really looked before and she found some fashion shops open, Jon had given her some money to buy a new dress and she was going to choose something really special plus yet some more revealing underwear or perhaps she would be bold tonight and not wear any at all, if she didn't it would show him she was serious but perhaps on reflection she should wear some very skimpy panties, just in case but definitely no bra this time.
She chose a white dress, very revealing and vowed she wouldn't wear it in public, it was more like one a famous actress would wear to an awards ceremony and have a 'wardrobe malfunction' as they aptly named it when parts of their anatomy were on show but she was sure he would like to see her in it, after all, that was rather the point, to get them both 'in the mood' and she trusted he would equally dress to suit the occasion. When this was over, if they were still talking, she was going to try to persuade him to start wearing t-shirts and very tight fitting jeans in the Tardis.
That was if they were even going to be on the same planet, let alone talking. She wished she could consult the Tardis, ask if she really should go through with it but it was her call, she was the one that was loosing everything, he could maybe live with it if it didn't work out for them but she would loose the one thing to him that she could never get back. She did want to give herself to him, she just would have preferred it had been with him as the Doctor but she loved both sides of him now. Did it matter which side of him it was? He would remember when he changed back. Would he say it was ok but he would have preferred her to wait?
Maybe she could go though the motions and stop at the last second but they would just keep trying and it wouldn't take a week. She was frantically trying to come up with excuses not to go through with it but she couldn't, not without taking some drastic action that meant lying to him. She didn't want to have to lie to him, not any more, this whole thing had been a lie but not falling in love with him as Jon, that wasn't a lie, she did love him and would do anything for this all to be true, who he now was, where they were going to move to, the whole life but it would be gone. If they could keep the apartment though, have somewhere to go other than her mother's flat, that was if they were still together. She knew it could never be, he couldn't stay, the whole planet would be in danger in less than a year and it would be her fault there would be no Doctor or would there? An endless paradox, would her first Doctor still save the world from living plastic dummies? Had she the right to risk it to be with him forever as Jon?
It was something she would never know, he might still exist but she would never meet him, she wouldn't be there to save him from the Nestene Consciousness and the countless other times she had saved him, like on the Games Station. No, she couldn't risk it, not even for her own happiness and when he got old, would she give him the watch to change back, to rejuvenate himself before he died? Or would she die, make him watch her grow old and never get to give him the watch? Like she said, it was an endless paradox and she couldn't win. If he made the decision, that was different, if he chose to walk away but he wouldn't be the one making it she was.