Welcome back everyone :P
I was having such troubles with this one ;D But I got it after all so I'm gonna stop talking and let you enjoy. Let the feels flow…
What did he do? What did that fucker do?!" Snow heard Bigby roar. She felt like she was about to pass out.
No, this can't be happening. It was not supposed to be like this.
Snow stumbled back until she reached the dining table and grabbed it with one hand as to not lose balance. She was not looking at the scene in front of her. She couldn't look at him; see his pained eyes hidden now masked by his anger.
She did, however, look up as she heard furious growling.
Bigby had closed the space between him and Doctor Swineheart, grabbing him roughly by his collar and bringing him on the same level as his face. He was growling and snarling into the flustered Doctors face.
"You are going to die", Bigby threatened with clenched teeth. His eyes turned yellow and his claws started showing as his face contorted into a grimace of raw anger; nostrils flaring, eyes flashing. He was like a volcano that was about to burst.
"I did nothing, and now let go of me you mutt", Swineheart said slowly. He seemed more outraged at Bigby touching his expensive clothes than actually frightened of him.
"Bigby, let go of him", Snow couldn't hold back anymore, she needed to stop this otherwise Bigby was going to kill Fabletown's best surgeon.
She let go of the table, and stood now straight up. She needed to get control of the situation once more. Even if she was not ready to face him, she had to.
"Let. Go.", she sternly said. She was standing several feet away from Bigby who was still snarling and growling at Swineheart.
He turned his head towards her, still gripping at Swineheart's Sweater. His eyes were still glowing and she could see the conflict in them. His head turned once more to the Doctor.
"WE are not done yet…", he growled at him, before letting go of him, forcefully shoving him aside.
"I bet we are not", Swineheart huffed, straightening his clothes.
Bigby turned to Snow; he walked towards her closing the gap between them. He closed his eyes for a moment, and as he opened them, they returned to their normal brown color again. She noticed that his claws also disappeared.
She was looking up at him, unsure of how to begin. His expression was pained.
Slowly he put his hands on her shoulders. Snow froze at the touch.
"Snow…", he began. He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes once more. He opened them and she saw all his sorrow.
"You… don't smell right. I mean… the cub. Where is it?", he almost whispered.
I can't. He is too close…
Snow took a few steps back, pushing his hands from her shoulders. She took a deep breath.
"I have decided that I am not going to let this mistake ruin my life, nor yours. So…" her throat felt tight, like she was choking on the tears she didn't let out. She saw his face, he looked destroyed.
I can't look at him.
"I asked Doctor Swineheart to get rid of the baby." There she said it.
Bigby's eyes widened, turning his back to her. He felt like throwing up.
Snow felt a strange relief going through her body; she took a glance at Swineheart who was eying the situation from a distance. His face was unreadable.
"I don't believe it", Bigby stated. His back was still turned to her, but his voice sounded hard, unforgiving.
"What do you mean you don't believe it?", Snow asked incredulously.
He finally turned to her. His eyes held not a trace of the hurt from before. He glared at her, his eyes boring into hers. She feared his eyes might turn yellow again.
He pointed with his arm at Swineheart. "This son of a whore poisoned your mind. He convinced you to come with him on this so called 'vacation', just to put a wedge between us." Bigby gritted his teeth.
"And why would I do that Sherlock?", Swineheart asked mockingly from the corner.
Bigby turned his head to him once more growling.
"Stop this nonsense you stubborn idiot and listen to me!", Snow shouted at Bigby.
"Look, it was not your choice, okay? My Life was going to be ruined. Both of our reputations. We cannot raise a child Bigby, we are not married people. We are colleagues, nothing more!" Snow spoke slowly with him, trying to be reasonable.
"Not my choice?" Bigby shouted appalled: "If you like it or not Snow, I am…I was the father of that child. How could you just..."
"Do not try to blame me Wolf", Snow shouted back. She was breathing hard, trying to suppress the tears. No, he would not guilt trip her into this.
"You know exactly we both didn't plan this. You are not a father. You are Bigby fucking Wolf, everyone knows that. You do what you want, because you think you have the absolute power.
Was this some kind of victory for you? 'Impregnated Snow White'. Tell me, next to which trophy on your shelf will I stand, huh? The 'Tried to eat an innocent girl and her grandmother' or rather the 'I can blow fucking houses down with my breath?'"
Snow was panting when she finished. Her fists clenched. She didn't mean to yell at him, but she couldn't hold back anymore, she needed to let the anger of the past few months out, the fear and regret.
In the corner of her eye she could see Swineheart, open mouthed and wide eyed, in surprise of her outburst.
Bigby stood before her. Shoulders slumped, his gaze fixed on the floor as he listened to her. She couldn't make out his eyes from this angle but she was glad she couldn't. He lifted his head, expression void of emotion.
"Very well… If this is how you think about this situation… about us. Then I will say no more."
His gaze shifted. When his eyes fell back on her, she could see the restrained hurt in them.
"I just thought, we could handle this another way", he whispered. He turned abruptly, leaving through the doorway.
"Sorry for the door Swineheart. Take the money for it from my next pay check", he mumbled before leaving the scene.
Snow was frozen in her spot. She heard the door downstairs close, a sign that he left the building.
She let out a shaky breath and turned her head to Doctor Swineheart, who looked at her with an equally shocked expression.
They looked at each other like that for several minutes, before Swineheart cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure. He tugged at his collar.
"Well, that was...intense."
Snows gaze was fixed on him, as her sight slowly became blurry due to the tears that rolled silently down her face.
"Miss White!", Swineheart immediately stepped to her, her expression was numb but the tears wouldn't stop coming, so he gently guided her to the nearest chair and sat her down.
Her shoulders were moving and her breath hitched, she realized she was sobbing.
She had to let everything out, every suppressed emotion. Just this one time.
~oOo~
Bigby felt like he had been paralyzed. He took the cab back to the Woodlands, back to Fabletown. He stayed silent the whole ride, the only sound that could be heard was the occasional drag on his cigarette.
When he finally arrived at his apartment, closing the door softly behind him, he sank down onto the floor, head leaning against the door.
It came all crashing down on him. What had happened. What he had lost.
He started panting; he closed his eyes, clenched his fist and started rocking back and forth.
Why? Why had he come back to the Woodlands, everything here reminded him of her.
Because I fucking love torture that's why, he thought, angry at himself.
His cub. His precious little baby boy. Gone.
Probably flushed down the fucking toilet.
He couldn't think about it.
No, no. This was supposed to be… Our baby, the thing that makes her realize that we are meant for each other.
The pain was too much for him, he gripped at his chest, right where his heart was.
He had imagined himself to be a good father. A kind and loving father. Unlike his own, who abandoned his mother.
Bigby started whimpering, the miserable sound of a dog who just had been kicked by his master.
He didn't know how much longer he sat there, on the cold floor of his apartment. Trying to comprehend what he had lost.
Rage started to build in him. He was angry, angry at himself for not noticing earlier, angry at Snow, angry at Bluebeard, at the whole of Fabletown.
He stood up. He would not whimper like a common dog. His shoulder started shaking, the muscles in his arms tensed.
He clenched his fist and started punching the wall right next to the door. He kept punching, over and over.
He didn't care if he made an awful lot of noise in the middle of the night, he also didn't care that the hole in his wall was getting bigger with every punch. He also didn't care when he started seeing blood on his fist.
The pain distracted him from the pain he was feeling in his chest.
Eventually he stopped. He stormed into the kitchen to get alcohol. He was breathing heavily, blood running down his hand. He took a long swig from the bottle; he looked at it for a moment before he smashed it against his kitchen wall.
~oOo~
"I told you I am alright now stop babying me and help me with the door.", Snow said sternly with her back turned to Swineheart, trying to lift the door, to get it back into its hooks.
She stopped crying a while ago. Of course it wouldn't be easy to tell him. She knew that. But they will both move on, live their lives as they once were. At least that's what she told herself.
Swineheart came to her and they both placed the door at its rightful place. The lock was busted and it was hanging slightly lopsided, but it would do for the night.
"Do not worry Doctor; the first thing I will do tomorrow is make sure you get a new door. Just leave me a note and Blue and I will see if we can get the exact same kind from France", Snow said as she made her way to her bedroom, to pack her stuff.
I need to get to work right away!
"Miss White, as much as I appreciate your effort, are you sure you don't want to stay any longer? I mean what just happened…", Swineheart tried to reason with her as he stepped into her room. She was already getting what clothes she brought with her from the closet.
She turned to him with a glare and pointed her finger menacingly at him.
"Listen here Doctor. What happened tonight is over. You will never speak of this matter to anyone, ever! Now excuse me while I pack my things. We leave in the morning."
She turned her back to him. He left the room, not arguing with the Deputy Mayor.
She sighed as she heard the door close.
I cannot dwell on things that are done. It is what it is. I have done what I deemed right and that's it, she tried to convince herself, not letting any other thoughts enter her mind.
She finished packing quickly; she didn't bring that many items with her after all. She opened the door and joined Doctor Swineheart in the kitchen. He sat at the dining table, again drinking his wine and reading a newspaper.
Snow looked around, she didn't want to be alone right now, and she needed distraction.
It's rude to sit and pretend nothing happened. His door is busted and the dinner is cold, the least thing I could do is clean up.
"I will wash the dishes", she announced and went to the sink.
It was quiet for some time. The only thing to hear was the running water out of the tap.
"You know Miss White, there is French saying... do you know which one I'm talking about?", Swineheart asked slowly not looking up from the newspaper he was reading.
What is this about again?
"No Doctor, enlighten me.", Snow asked challengingly, back still turned.
"You have to marry the wolf to tame it", he quoted.
Snows hands froze. She turned to him abruptly. She narrowed her eyes at him.
"What are you saying?", she asked slowly.
His gaze shifted. "Miss White, I am not stupid, nor are you. We both know of the…advances Bigby Wolf is making towards you. All of Fabletown knows. And I do believe that you…"
"Stop right there Doctor", she interrupted him coldly. "I hope you are not saying what I think you do. Now let me continue to clean up this mess".
"As you wish…" was his response as he attended his reading again.
Snow remembered the words she told Bigby at the airport when they both came back from their trip.
'But if some straightforward, nice guy were to ask me out to dinner or a movie….and he was willing to go very slowly…'
Yes, exactly, emphasis on very slowly.
A pregnancy is hardly slowly. Truth is, she was scared. Even if she didn't admit this to herself. She had been scared this whole time, that's why wanted to get rid of it so fast. This was not how things were supposed to happen.
No, I don't regret it, she thought determinant and scrubbed the pot harder.
Right?
~oOo~
One week later
"Blue, copy this for me." Snow stormed into the Business Office, having just finished her lunch break, she handed a few papers to Boy Blue.
She rushed to her desk and opened the drawers, ready to begin her work of stamping various letters.
She had returned to her work the morning after her argument at Swineheart's apartment. She only had a few encounters with Bigby since then. All of them were full of awkward silence and lack of eye contact. But she had different things to worry about now. After all, everything will be alright again. That's what she told herself, day and night.
She tried frantically not to think about the things that happened. And she succeeded. Except at night. Nightmares plagued her, leaving her sweating and in absolute agony.
The dark circles under her eyes she could see in the mirror every morning were proof enough. Nothing that make up couldn't conceal though.
But she couldn't cover up the hurt which she felt inside. So she drowned herself in work, there was enough to do after all.
Blue still stood in front of her desk. He looked at her for a moment.
Of course he knew what she did. No one told him, but as soon as he saw the bill for a door as well as all of Snows cancelled appointments with the Doctor, he put one and two together.
He never mentioned anything, to either of them. Still he couldn't help but feel sad.
"There is something else Snow…", he slowly began.
She looked up at him.
"What is it now?"
He didn't really know how to explain the next part to her.
"Bigby wants to speak to you… he has an announcement to make."
Snow stared at Blue for a moment. Judging by the face he made, it was nothing Snow could be excited about.
Of course not, it's Bigby after all. Hopefully he didn't mess something up.
She was exhausted. She leaned her head on her hand for a moment and sighed.
"Let him in Blue", was all she said.
Blue didn't hesitate and immediately went to get the Sheriff.
Snow was bracing herself for what was to come.
She sat straight in der chair, relaxing her face to an expression of aloofness.
~oOo~
He stood outside of her Office now. Blue just went to get him.
"Miss White, the Sheriff", he heard him announce.
Bigby took a deep breath before entering the Business Office, seeing her again.
She looked beautiful, like always. But he didn't fail to make out the dark rings under her eyes, which must surely come from all the nightmares that plagued her lately. He noticed that, of course.
He took a halt several feet away from her desk. Blue moved to stand behind Snows chair.
There was a silence for several seconds. No one knew who was to begin.
Snow broke the silence. "Do you not want to sit Sheriff?", she asked calmly as she made a gesture for him to sit in the seat in front of her.
He fumbled with the little bag he was holding.
"No. This will be quick." Silence followed his answer. Snow tapped her fingers on the armrest.
"Then go ahead Sheriff. What do you have to announce?"
He was silent for a few moments, looking down. He then lifted his head. Expressionless.
"I come here to announce my resignation from the post as Sheriff of Fabletown.", he began.
He could see Blues eyes widen from behind Snows chair. Her face hardened.
"I want to withdraw from the government. I have served this community many years and wish to spend the rest of my time…alone. In some remote corner of Fabletown."
He still didn't see any change in her face, she just listened.
"I trust you to find a quick replacement for me, I am sure that many desire the post as Sheriff…", he continued.
Blue looked around. Both of them were silent, staring into each other's eyes with no readable expression.
Bigby lifted the little bag he was holding. "In this bag, I carry the keys to my office…which I find now too heavy to hold", he added quietly. He held out the bag for someone to take.
Boy Blue rushed forward to take the bag from the Sheriff. Snow was still frozen in her seat.
The silence that followed was unbearable. Bigby looked expectantly at Snow, waiting for her verdict.
She looked thoughtful for a moment.
"I discharge you", she smiled softly. The smile didn't reach her eyes.
Bigby sighed relieved.
"You always served this community, and me…good", she continued slowly: "You were thoughtful and always knew what to do. In public affairs… as well as in private ones", she added quietly.
Bigby looked at her. She was careful to keep her guard while talking.
"Snow…?"
She nodded for him to speak.
He sighed. "I promise that I will never speak of our matter again. But now that we are here one last time in private…", he began, looking at Blue for a moment.
"I want to remind you one last time, that if you saw fit to have a place for me in your heart, I am sure all the hurt and pain that plagues you will be healed, and gone.", he desperately said.
She gritted her teeth.
He looked bewildered. He didn't imagine himself to say these words to her.
"There, I said it. Now my lips are forever sealed" He didn't want to spend any second longer in there, so he turned around and walked quickly towards the door.
"Bigby", he heard Snow say behind his back. He turned to her once again. She looked displeased.
"Make sure to keep that promise", she reminded him slowly. He looked at her for a moment.
He nodded and opened the door, leaving her and his life as Sheriff behind him.
~oOo~
He sat in his chair, looking at the TV. He didn't listen though, too many thoughts were running through his mind.
It has been a few hours since he announced his retirement. He just needed to get away for a while. He knew he couldn't go for long though. The longing to see her again would be too big.
A knock on his door pulled him out of his thoughts. He knew that smell.
Snow? What is she doing here? It must long after midnight.
Hope rose within him.
Maybe she wants to say goodbye…
He quickly stood up and went to the door. He braced himself before he opened it. What he saw took him by surprise.
It was Snow, of course, with her hair down and a glass of wine in her hand. She was leaning against his doorframe.
Her cheeks were flushed. Clearly she was drunk.
Well, I wasn't expecting that.
"What is it, are you not going to let me in Wolf?", she slurred, brows furrowed.
He blinked a couple of times, before clearing his throat. Her scent was overwhelming.
"Uhm… of course come in Snow…", he made way for her.
She kept looking at him as she passed through the door into his apartment, standing in his tiny hallway. She had her back turned to him. He closed the door.
"I must say, I never imagined you to be so dramatic Mister Wolf", he heard her say. She turned to him, taking another sip of her wine.
What is happening? Bigby asked himself, still standing by the door.
"I come here to announce my resignation…." she imitated his words from before with an over dramatic voice. She chuckled as she shook her head and took another sip from her glass.
"Snow is everything okay? How much wine did you have? I don't think you should be drinking…", he began slowly. He was worried. She didn't look right. It was like she was going crazy.
"Shut up, I am talking now", she spat at him. He gaped at her.
"You know, I never thought that you would be the coward to run away… After all I did you a favor by getting rid of this child", she slurred.
Bigby felt the pain in his chest again as she mentioned the topic.
He walked towards her, putting his hands on her shoulders he slowly said.
"Snow, you are in no condition to talk about this right now. I should bring you back to your apartment…" He couldn't keep the worry from his voice.
She closed her eyes at the contact and leaned into his touch.
He didn't know how to react.
Am I dreaming? What kind of cruel joke is this?
She opened her eyes, and for once he could see all the pain, all suppressed emotions in them. She let her guard completely down. Snow tossed the wine glass on the floor.
She slowly and carefully leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his torso, leaning her head on his shoulder.
It took Bigby a few moments to react. But then he instantly returned the embrace. It felt warm and comforting. He noticed her trembling.
"Please don't leave", she whispered in his ear. He buried his nose in her hair.
Bigby felt something wet on his shoulder and realized it had to be her tears.
"I won't" he replied softly, tightening his grip on her. Both of them couldn't pretend anymore. They were tired of fighting, of secrets and silent suffering.
The two of them needed each other, needed the friendship they once had. Maybe even more.
And so, they stood there, holding onto each other for what seemed an eternity…
I saw that quote about marrying a wolf in some book I read, and also on a website and immediately went like "yupp, I'm gonna use that!" ;D
Also I want to explain something real quick.
First of all, when I first read that line that Swineheart said to her, I was like…okay, this is interesting what if she really accepts his offer?
One of the reasons Snow does this in my story is simply, because she is scared. She doesn't want to admit it, but she is. She was slowly accepting Bigby as a possible love in her life, as could be seen by the end of the Storybook Love arc. But I was a little disappointed with how things worked out for Bigby and Snow after that.
Snow acts on impulse in my story, she is scared of what will happen and also has no emotional attachment to the child yet whatsoever. She needed to do it fast before she could learn to love that child. She simply wasn't ready for the consequences.
I want Bigby and Snows love in this story to form out of this tragedy. Well, I don't want to spoil any future chapters… but you know… Snow can still change her mind.. maybe she will regret it after all…
Also, I really was disappointed with Bigby leaving for 5 years in Fables. I know, he also wants to leave in this story, but I actually can acknowledge him wanting to leave, I just can't acknowledge Snow not doing anything to stop it.
Whatever, enough with the rambling, just wanted to make sure everyone knows I actually put some thought behind this and of course I want Bigby and Snow to have the happy ending they deserve :)… just on another way as in the comics.
See you next time!