Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the Official Release
Quick Author's Note: These loops will be anachronistic (not necessarily in chronological order). Also, we, the individual writers, want to thank you all for your great reviews.
Naruto Loops
2.1 (Valentine Meiken)
Sakura was eye-twitching again, Naruto was worried. She also, oddly, was wearing standard green ninja fatigues, and was sat at the bench of Ichiraku's.
"I ended up in a Sonic loop... as Amy Rose..." Sakura stated.
"So?" Naruto asked.
"She has pink... hair, is a raging fangirl for a cocky, dangerous headstrong man, dresses in a predominantly red and white outfit, and is known more for being dangerously violent than her kindness towards others," Sakura continued, Naruto not even having time to say it before Sakura finished with, "Yes, exactly like baseline me."
"So...?" Naruto asked.
"It's not fun when you have your flaws pointed out so starkly by something like that..." Sakura replied, "So, You busy on Saturday?... Hinata's invited too..."
A nearby bush made a quiet thump, Sakura seeming to smirk. Naruto just looked dumbfounded. Yes, this was the best way to get round being pigeonholed...
A blond-haired blacksmith nearby mentally wondered if that meant Amy would chase him now, and shrugged. He wasn't her type. Foxes only chased rabbits.
2.2 (Pinklestia101)
Naruto looked at his sensei horrified "You turned Sakura into stone!"
"She isn't awake, is she? Weird, I wonder who is the Guest Anchor for this loop?" Washu, self proclaimed biggest genius in all the multiverse, had a thing with Sakura, if anyone should be feared for doing crazy experiments, it should be her! Sure she had kind of forgot to check if Sakura was awake first, but whatever. it was just an easily removable status effect.
"Hey, I know Sakura can be annoying but..." Washu glared at Naruto, with enough killing intent to make him shut up. It just wasn't worth it.
"That was... more peaceful that I thought you would do." Sasuke said "What did you use?"
"I have looped into a lot of video game and Rogue like worlds, and I like status effects. So much easy to solve problems without violence if you can turn someone into stone or freeze them in a non lethal way. So anyway, want to play this baseline or completely derail it?"
"I don't want to get the cursed seal, but I can easily deal with Orochimaru. What about Naruto?"
"Oh, right, hey kid, you okay?" Washu looked at him with a trusting smile. "Don't worry, that's just a very advanced jutsu. She is perfectly fine, just like sleeping and made of rock."
"Really? Cool! Can you teach me that? Uh I mean... can you undo the jutsu on Sakura, please? I promise I will try to not have her lose her temper."
2.3 (Blazingen1, edited by OathToOblivion)
"Well, this is strange. No one's glaring at me. Guess it's not a baseline Loop then."
A young Uzumaki Naruto, Anchor of the Narutoverse, walked down his usual path towards the Hokage Building.
"Nope, there's some glares, but no real actions there. Earlier, I was not overcharged for buying my breakfast, no one threw me out of their stores and no parents pulled their children away. All I could find out from them with my negative emotion sensing, is that they all fear someone, just simply not me. Whoever did this to them must have them really scared if they're fully willing to abide by the rules."
It was then that he looked down at his stomach, where the seal was. "And a certain someone isn't really being as chatty as normal," he commented.
"I'm catching up on my sleep. Last Loop was in Ichigo's Loop, remember? You pretty much spammed Bankai the entire time, so guess who had to pick up the slack?" Kurama grumbled, before curling up in a ball and returning to sleep. Naruto rolled his eyes, but decided to leave him alone for now.
Now Naruto, as one of the Original Seven, has had many normal baseline loops and variant loops. He can easily tell the difference between them.
It seemed like a baseline loop, because no one had hurt him yet or do anything other than ignore him. Yet, Naruto still felt that something was amiss. 'Maybe someone's been replaced. I sent out a ping earlier, and the response came from the Hokage Office.'
As he walked past a shopkeeper, he overheard the conversation that two men were having.
"Whatever you do, do not treat that boy with nothing less than respect. If you don't, who knows what might happen to you. We've all been warned by the former civilian council."
"Why would I respect that-?"
"SSSHHHH! Don't you dare call him that. Ever. Don't you remember what the Hokage did to those who beat him? He was simmering with anger, yet he never raised his voice. That was the scariest thing. He didn't shout, he didn't command, he just asked the offenders to stop. When they didn't, he mercilessly beat them bloody, healed them, and then beat them over and over again. Anyone who has caused any kind of harm to him, mentally or physically, it's said that the Hokage will make you feel it ten times worse. As expected of the man feared as the War Doctor."
Naruto's eyebrows shot above his hairline. Alright then, definitely not a baseline loop. Also, the only War Doctor he knows is from the Doctor Who loops. But that's not possible, unless…
Upon entering the office, everyone there stopped for a moment, took a bow, and then continued from where they stopped.
Still puzzled, he walked up to the third floor, and entered the Hokage's office.
"Hey! Old man, have you been feeling loopy today?"
"Oh yes, I Awoke earlier feeling just a bit dizzy, that's all."
The person sitting on the chair was in fact not the usual figure of Sarutobi Hiruzen, but that of the man he fought side by side as they protected the Elemental Nations from the threat of the Daleks. It was the freakin' War Doctor.
He swept his hand and commanded the ANBU to stand guard outside, then, in a series of hand-signs, sealed the room totally. Naruto, feeling like he should contribute, took out two seal tags and flung them at opposite sides of the wall. The seal tags activated and large black characters surrounded the room.
"There. Now we should be safe to talk," they both said simultaneously.
"So you're the guy who pinged in earlier. I've been through countless loops, but I haven't been this surprised since…I forget. But I definitely haven't been this surprised in a very long time-ttebayo."
"Oh, so you do recognize me. Well then, do you recognize this then?" He took out a pen-like device and pushed a button, making it emit a high frequency sound. There was also a red light on top.
"That's a sonic screwdriver. How'd you get your hands on that? It shouldn't be possible, unless…"
"That's right; my universe has just started Looping too. Allow me to introduce myself," he said as he stood up and put his hands behind his back. "I am the Doctor. Are you the Anchor?"
Nodding, the Doctor continued, "Now, as to how I can Loop, well, I'll be brief because I heard from the staff that you have a tiny attention span in your current body."
Naruto just pouted at that comment.
"Basically, I can loop due to a modification to the Ouroboros Patch with the help of Jormungandr, making other loop aware beings in my universe outright ignore the Loops. They know they're happening, but they just don't care enough to fix it and allow the Loops to fix themselves. Some items like Vortex Manipulators and my dear TARDIS were made Read-Only, with some others made to function at limited capacity, like my Sonic Screwdriver."
He took out his sonic and pressed the button. The red light was noticeably much dimmer. Pocketing the device, he continued, "Finally, I can Awaken as any of my regenerations at any point in a single Regeneration Cycle, preventing any Doctor prior to the Awakening from being Awake. Should I loop into another world in that regeneration, then if I am not at the very least some analogue of Gallifreyan, I will stay in that form until the loop ends."
"I see," Naruto said as he tried to understand what was just told to him. "By the way, I heard what you did with the offenders."
"Yes, well, apparently I heard from others that baseline Sarutobi lacked a bit of backbone. Not only did he fail to properly quell the anger of the citizens by providing a proper explanation of the sealing of Kurama, he failed his successor by failing to provide more for you. He lacked the courage to stand up to the cruel and corrupt civilian council. He didn't even tell you what happened to your parents in fear of you outright hating him. At least, that was what this variant's loop memories tell me."
Naruto really couldn't counter that, as much as he wanted to defend his grandfather figure. He knew both variant and baseline versions of Old Man Hokage had made plenty of mistakes in the past, notwithstanding himself and everyone around him.
"So, once I found out I looped into your world, I decided to formally punished those involved. Trust me, neither the civilian council nor Danzo could ever bother us for the rest of the Loop.
Naruto felt something drop in his belly. Nervously he asked, "What exactly did you do to them?"
"They were greedy people. These politicians would most definitely not stop trying to usurp power from me. So I took their power instead. When they protested, I made them fear me."
There were angry outbursts coming from all the civilian council members. He didn't respond to any of them. All he heard was the squabbling of angry, selfish children. It was only when he ordered one of the ANBU members to pick up one member of the civilian council and send him to Ibiki that the hall became deathly quiet.
"You all seem to be forgetting where your positions lie." It was obvious the Doctor was angry. "You civil servants are meant to serve the people, not yourselves. Mataoki Hideo, the man I just sent away, has been pillaging the village finances just so he could fill his already full cup of riches. The man to the right over there was the main instigator of the Naruto Lynch Mob, and I know everyone here has tried overtaking their positions, haven't they? Everyone here has crimes that they have committed, and I have all the evidence. You children really don't know who you're talking to do you?"
To the civilian council, he was scarier than any Tailed Beast. He didn't even release any killing intent, he never raised his voice, and yet he was so scary that one even peed his pants.
He continued speaking in that same tone. "I give you two options. One is that you leave this village. Your family will be safe, I will assure it. You may only take food, water and some money with you. You will be given seals placed on your necks that will induce death upon attempting to reveal secrets of the village."
Now they were really scared. "The second, well, why don't I show you."
ANBU appeared before the terrified civilians, and whisked them off in a shunshin to Ibiki's torture room.
"It's alright; I can take it from here." He walked into the room. The captured civilians could only watch in horror at what happened to their fellow mate, as they were all pulled in to see a realistic genjutsu of him being pulled into a black hole, not that they knew what it is.
(Insert painful screams)
"Soon, rumors of what happened spread, and then after that, no one tried to kill you anymore, nor did they decide to break anymore laws. I convinced them, that I am scarier than any Bijuu that they may see. With that, people started giving you a chance, before finally realizing that they had made a very big mistake by making biased opinions of you. Some of the smarter ones has realized the connection between you and your father soon after, but they understood why you must be kept hidden lest your enemies find out who you really are. That's how I did it."
"And Danzo?"
The Doctor stood still for a bit before answering. "Unlike the civilians that still could be saved from their own greed, that man is completely irredeemable. I won't go into details, because it still spooks even me. To be brief, I gave him total sensory deprivation. All his soldiers and his recruits were sent to the Yamanakas for mental treatment. I destroyed all the implanted eyes, his good arm, made him deaf, blind and dumb. He no longer has proper nerves to feel, move, use chakra, or any of the six senses. He's totally isolated in a room where no one will ever find him. Ever."
Naruto couldn't really help but gulp. The 'Fury of the Time Lord', no normal person would want to see that.
"Speaking with experience, the price for peace, in this world at least, is certainly a hard target to achieve, isn't it?"
Naruto could only look back at the multiple loops he had attempted to make everlasting peace in his universe. It was more tolling than any other attempts in some other worlds. The true Naruto, the old man who has lived longer than anyone should, could only sigh and nod in agreement.
"Well, now that the gloomy part is over, could you help me with all this paperwork? I heard from the others you have a secret way of defeating it."
Naruto could only chuckle, put his hands up onto his head and say, "Shadow Clones."
The Doctor widened his eyes before smacking his hands over his temple. "Four Hundred loops and I have already forgotten what they told me."
Full out laughing, Naruto reached out his hands and said, "Welcome to the Naruto loops, Doctor Who!"
"That's not my real name," said an annoyed but smiling Doctor, as they shook hands.
2.4 (OracleMask)
Okay, as far as teams went, Naruto had expected worse.
Considering he was replacing Kakashi yet again - and by now Naruto even felt a little sorry for some of the things they'd done to the man, because Kakashi's baseline life was already a large pile of fuck - Naruto'd been fervently praying that he got some different, decent people on Team Seven this time.
What Naruto had to work with this time was some kid with spiky blue hair, some guy with Sasuke's duck-butt hairstyle except in white, and another pinkette - this one wielding an over-sized hammer.
"Right, so let's introduce ourselves," Naruto said, waving a hand at them to go first.
"You go first, Bla - huh? Where did he go?" the pinkette said, staring at the empty space her new teammate used to be sitting in.
"YA-HOO! I'M BLACK STAR!"
All three of them looked at the source of the distant shout.
"I'M THE MAN THAT WILL SURPASS GOD!"
"How the hell did he get to the Hokage Mountain that fast without using a jutsu?" Naruto wondered.
"Black Star and 'normal physics' haven't been on speaking terms for years," said the white-haired kid in a long-suffering tone, "Basically, he's like you but a hundred times louder and has an ego the size of a small planet."
"Fine. You go next," Naruto said.
"Whatever. I'm Haseo Uchiha, and I want to kill the guy that replaced Itachi this loop," Haseo said, "Probably because Ovan's got some stupid plan in the works that involves me killing him again anyway. Either way's win-win for me."
"ALL OF YOU ARE LIKE ANTS DOWN THERE! WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE COMPARED TO ME, THE GREAT BLACK STAR!"
"Doesn't he know that we can't hear him up there?"
"No. Please just keep going," Haseo sighed.
"Alright, alright...I'm Amy Haru-rose," Amy said, "I like chasing after my darling Sonic! And using my hammer on anyone who gets in the way, of course."
The unholy glint in Amy's eye promised swift, hammer-y revenge on the first person to doubt her words. Naruto and Haseo kept their mouths wisely shut.
For some reason Haseo always replaced Sasuke when he was in Naruto's loop. He never replaced anyone else, not even a random unimportant ninja from the background. He'd pretty much gotten permanent membership in the Uchiha clan, and it pissed Haseo off.
"Well, duh," the Looping Naruto said after Haseo had complained the first time, "You're like an alternate-universe version of Sasuke already."
"What."
Naruto started counting on his fingers.
"You've got Sasuke's hairstyle, you've got red eyes like the Sharingan, you're all brooding and anti-social but still have fangirls stalking you, and you spend your time trying to kill your big brother-slash-mentor figure when that was the guy's plan all along...whoa, you really are alternate-universe Sasuke!"
...Damn, that was a good point. A metaphorical stormcloud appeared over Haseo's head.
"Foolish little brother," Itachi said, looming over him, "You still lack hatred."
"Yeah, you're probably right," Haseo admitted, trying hard to ignore his broken arm, "But the demon living in my head kinda makes up for it."
The plus to having the Mangekyo Sharingan was that Skeith could manifest instantly - and separately from Haseo's body - via Susanoo. Which meant Haseo got a front-row seat to seeing Itachi run for his life while Skeith chased him around.
"I should probably find a different way to handle my problems other than feeding them all to Skeith," Haseo mused.
...Eh, maybe when it stopped being funny.
(Blazingen)
It was a baseline so far. Everything had been going as normal baseline. Now they were on the final battle against Madara. Just as he was about to unleash his infinite tsukiyomi, placing a genjutsu on everyone and unknowingly converting them into white zetsu.
Naruto, the currently awake Achor, figured that he'd put an end to this before the godlike Princess Kaguya appeared, put his hands into the kamehameha position.
"Bijuudama rasengan kamehameha"
The blast shook the earth as the beam of light aimed directly at the moon. The blast was so loud and powerful it shocked everyone into silence. When the light faded, everyone was shocked for another reason.
"You imbecile. You just destroyed the moon!" Yelled a angry and astonished unawake Sasuke.
It was true. The area where the moon once resided was empty of the round orb.
With an embarrassed blush, Naruto just said, " well, I figured that no moon means no Infinite Tsukiyomi, so I destroyed the moon to stop the plan. It's foolproof!"
"What do you mean foolproof?! What you did was so stupid that even Madara's shocked into silence and he hasn't even thought of recreating the moon itself!"
Madara stood mouth agape, eyes tiny pinpricks as he stared at where the moon once was.
"Yeah, well I don't see you coming up with any good plans. Besides, what's wrong with destroying the moon? I stopped Madrara from exacting his plan!"
And so their argument continued, with neither side backing down on why or why not destroying the moon was a bad idea. Meanwhile, Sakura and Kakashi, who were nearby, had the similar comical expression Madara was making. In Naruto's mindscape, the kyuubi was rolling on the floor with laughter, and the Sage said nothing. All around the battlefield, there was only silence...and the loud arguments of two 17 year old boys.
2.5 (Jcogginsa)
"Sakura...I don't know what to say." Naruto said, somewhat numbly, at he looked at Sakura's gift for him. For a long time, Sakura telling him she had a birthday present for him had scared the shit out of him. However, Sakura was making progress, so it hadn't been an issue lately. Until now that is. And unlike before, he couldn't just react with revulsion or fear. Truthfully, he didn't know how to react to this.
On the table before him, laid an exact clone of Sakura Haruno. Sure, Sakura had created clones before, but they'd pretty much been fodder. Disposable to her and, he had to admit, after a couple billion loops he didn't spare them much thought either. This clone was different.
This one was meant to live on. It had the complete memories of Sakura's baseline life, at least up to their most recent expansion.
"I can keep her in my pocket for a while. I can deal with the aging until I get a DBZ loop to make her immortal." She continued her explanation. "I can keep a back up of her memories in case she's killed or there's a sudden loop crash. So all in all, having her around will be just like having another me loop. A chance to have a do-over." she finished, an almost wistful look in her face.
It was then that Naruto knew what to do. He turned to Sakura and looked her in the eyes "Sakura...You've changed a lot over the loops. I can't approve of everything you've done but i want you to know..."
Naruto enveloped her in a hug "Despite that, you're still my friend, and you always will be."
Slowly, tentatively, Sakura hugged him back.
2.6 (AbZHz101)
Kurama Awoke in a very different place than normal. While Naruto's seal was dark, it was dark in the kind of way that should light enter it, the place would become bright. This place was dark in the way that should light enter, the light would quickly be devoured. Well, that right there ruled out baseline. Now the only question that remained was did he loop in as a replacement or into a Full World Fusion? Kurama looked his current body over, it seemed that he was a teen human male this time, and he had recently been injured, joy. His current state of dress pointed to some time in the 1700's, perhaps 100-200 years later if it was archaic.
And then the Loop memories kicked in. He was Kristoff Vessalius, fifteen year old heir to the Vessalius dukedom thrown into a place known as the Abyss during his coming of age ceremony when said ceremony had been interrupted by... some really trippy shit, was the best way to describe it. Kurama was pretty sure that he had never looped into a place like this before. It might have been easier to tell where he was if it weren't for the fact that Naruto had also Looped in, if his Loop Memories of the last thirty minutes were to be believed, both of them taking another's place. He was pretty sure that Naruto hadn't been Awake when he had seen him last seeing as the boy's fighting skills had been absolutely horrendous and his behavior had been well outside the norm.
He snapped his fingers, healing the wound without a second thought. When his pre-waking self had first thought of the Abyss he had most certainly not thought of this. He expected more darkness, more suffering... more people. This was more like someone had wrecked the innards of a toy box and vacuumed out the light. Still, he had to find that boy. They always Looped together, bound by Fate? Circumstance? Friendship? Divine Intervention? While Death had done the original binding, something else had drawn them much closer than Death had ever intended, perhaps that had already been pulling them to that stage eons ago... Kurama shook his head. What had been the cause didn't matter, now in the Loops, they were always a team. Whether as two individuals or more often with Kurama as a manifestation or font of power, they were linked. Which meant if he wanted to do anything this Loop without using Out of Loop Powers-which while it probably would work, they hadn't been to this place before and there were certain things that were better seen as a native rather than as a tourist-he needed to find Naruto.
Grimacing, Kurama walked in an arbitrary direction. Either he'd find Naruto, or he'd find trouble... and Naruto would be sure to follow.
'Well,' Kurama thought grimly, 'I sure found trouble alright.' Trouble in this case had begun with a creepy half destroyed doll that had tried to eat him. That hadn't been too difficult to deal with. Now though, he was looking at a gigantic Top and Whip which had declared the same freaking thing before trying to run him over. Kurama hated seeming powerless. Naruto had better get here soon, otherwise he might start breaking out the Bijuudama. Almost exactly as those thoughts crossed his mind a myriad of chains ripped through the top and it's propulsion system. Speak of the devil...
Naruto looked just as ridiculous as before, for some odd reason wearing an ensemble of a black dress shirt; white waistcoat; yellow cravat; white on white striped trousers; black riding boots; a pearl overcoat; a white bowler hat; a white glove on his right hand, embroidered with an Ace of Spades on the back; and a black glove on his right. A silver pocketwatch ticked merrily in a lining pocket of the boy's coat while the chain hung loosely in front of the cravat, the full length no doubt hidden in another lining. The whole thing was topped off by a black cane with a sliver handle, which he knew from Loop memories hid a short dagger.
"You look ridiculous," Kurama stated. "Even by the standards of this place." It would be annoying if Naruto wasn't yet Awake. Kurama knew that he could take an Unawake Naruto without issue, even if he could turn into a giant fox that was still wearing the same thing.
"Woke up this way," Naruto replied. "So, if my Loop memories are right we need to form a Contract to get out of here. That requires you to say that you would like to be my Contractor and we need some of your blood. Thankfully we've already got some of the later. So do you want to form a contract?"
"Say that again and I will kill you on the count of being far too much like the Incubator for my comfort."
Naruto jolted as if slapped, probably hadn't realized how the words would sound until they were well out of his mouth. Then he grimaced. "Hey, don't blame me! I'm a Chain this Loop and that is apparently how Chains ask. Though my In-Loop Memories are really wonky for some odd reason. So if there is a catch I don't know about it."
"So what are you, anyway? Those guys in red seemed to recognize you."
"Like I said, I'm apparently a Chain this Loop. Chains are beings native to the Abyss. And I seem to have a reputation for always showing up at really terrible events, killing everyone in the area, but never getting my clothes dirty. So they gave me a nickname of 'Feral Fox.' But according to my memories I was never at any of the places they say I was," Naruto replied with a shrug.
"Welcome to my world, Gaki," Kurama replied with a smirk. Then he announced, "Naruto, I would like to form a Contract with you!" Naruto's cane came down with a flash of light, and the two were out of the Abyss.
2.7 (Detective Ethan Redfield)
In a Magic Bag, you Find:
- A Polished Shurukin of Seduction
"Sakura, I thought you were over that phase," Naruto shouted as he hauled an unconscious Sasuke on his back towards Konoha. Team Seven had just completed a mission to Waves.
Sakura looked ashamed of herself as she was carrying Haku in the same direction and an awake Kakashi was lugging Zabuza several yards behind the two to give them some room to talk. Naruto knew something was wrong when Haku and Zabuza immediately surrendered to the team upon being ambushed. He didn't realize how bad the situation was, however, until he walked in on Sakura making Sasuke and the two Mizu ninja doing unspeakable things as Sakura drew for her yaoi collection. None of them seemed in their right minds. The anchor had quickly incapacitated the three male ninja and obliviated their memories of the event. Naruto glared at his teammate, "How did you do it?"
Sakura withdrew a shurukin he recognized since hehad disposed of one himself. Holding Sasuke on one hand, his other lashed out, snatching it from her and pocketing it for later destruction, "Shuriken of Seduction, why did you do it?"
the female kunoichi made an agonizing face, "Woke up as Leah Clearwater just as she plunged into the lava."
Naruto flinched, "Damn, that's...unfortunate. But next time, talk to me! You're better than this," gesturing to the unconscious ninja on their shoulders.
2.8 (krspaceT)
In the monster's remains, you find:
• an eldritch jet of the scientist
Naruto just starred at the 'jet' that was floating over Konoha. Now, unlike non looping Konohanians, he had actually seen a jet in the metal before, so he knew this wasn't the Land of the Sky attacking again.
But this wasn't a normal jet. It sort of looked what happened when one of those planes from McQueen's universe got busy with Cthulhu.
"Ha ha ha! I, Doctor Heinz Doofemsmritz, have finally done it! After so many loops, the Eldritch Jet of the Scientist is mine! I shall use it to destroy you all for the sins you all have no recollection of!" a voice shouted from within the monster jet as it began to eerily glow.
"is he still hung out about the time Kiba flirted with Vanessa?" Hinata asked her crush as the monsterous jet let loose a laser blast that seemed to be a fusion of Iron Man's Uni Beam and Cyclops's optic blasts at the Inuzuka Compound.
"Yep"
"Do you think he's still hung over about the time that Choji ate his Dunkeberries?"
ZAP
"Yep"
"Do you think he's still a fan of those exercise videos Might Guy made that loop he was a television star?"
"BEHOLD MY GLORIOUS YOUTH!"
"Yep...so do you want to get him or should I?" Naruto questioned as Hinata shrugged.
"Go ahead" Naruto nodded before he began to form a giant Rasengan with a spiral withing it
"SPIRIT BOMB SPIRAL RASENGAN!" Naruto threw the thing right at Doofemsmirtz and his 'Eldrich Jet of the Scientist', which was promptly struck and sent flying into the sky.
"LOOKS LIKE DOOFEMSMIRTZ IS BLASTING OFF AGAIN!"
2.9 (Blazingen1)
Naruto was relaxing in the apartment in his hub-loop home. It was good to be doing nothing for a change. Just as he was about to put down his newspaper, an article caught his eye. 'Quake Mother, Mother leaves touching text message for the child she died shielding during an earthquake.'
This got Naruto's full attention. Reading more about it did he finally realize what had gotten him so interested in it.
Rescue workers found, in young woman's house, the dead body through the cracks. But her pose was somehow strange that she knelt on her knees like a person was worshiping; her body was leaning forward, and her two hands were supported by an object. The collapsed house had crashed her back and her head. Beneath her was a 3 month's old little boy wrapped in a flowery blanket under his mother's dead body.
A mother had saved her only child by using her own body to bear the burden of the rubble, even to her death.
With only a final message left to her child, it said, "If you can survive, you must remember that I love you." That was her last message to her child. Instantly his mind went into the memories of his own parents, where they had died protecting him from Kurama's claw. It was like the Hub was emulating a situation similar to his.
'Kid, you better grow up to be a fine person, for you were given the greatest love any child could ever receive!'
He stood and saluted the lady who died.
"Fuck doing nothing! I have the power to change things, and even though this is a Hub loop, I will help those in need. To China!"
2.10 (Detective Ethan Redfield)
"Explain something to me Dobe," Sasuke mused as he stood on the side of the Sandaime's face of the Hokage Mountain, "How did we manage to find a version of Sakura scarier than our looping Sakura?"
At the bottom of the cliff, which which was adorned with craters that had not been there 24 hours ago, Sakura was walking slowly and surely up the side of the cliff, her emerald eyes shimmering in the moonlight. Naruto shrugged, "Sure, she's creepy, but as bad as Sakura...I'm not sure-"
Sasuke shouted, "She's dodging my Amaterasu, Dobe, A-MA-TER-A-SU! You know, when I can just look at them and set them on fire! This Sakura isn't even looping!"
Indeed, the bottom of the Hokage mountain was wreathed in fire. Sakura looked over her shoulder and sighed, "Is this part of the Uchiha mating ritual, beloved! On the Black Flames of Konoha, I will accept your feelings."
Naruto looked again at this Sakura, then shook his head, "Nope, our Sakura is still scarier."
Even later when Sakura somehow managed to bypass Sasuke's Susanoo and drag him out for a 72 hour shopping spree, all the blonde did was shrug and continue on his way unphased.
2.11 (Detective Ethan Redfield)
Naruto strolled down the main street of Konoha that would lead to the Hokage's Tower, whistling a merry little tune. Nothing could get the boy down. First, he passed the genin exam, meaning he would be placed on team seven. Then, Mizuki appeared and offered him the chance to choose his own team if he passed a 'special' test. Finally, Naruto played out the rest of baseline's events to recreate the bond he had with Iruka. Now after having just finished beating Mizuki, the Hokage had summoned him for a meeting to no doubt fully explain he wasn't the Kyuubi.
Things, however, were not as baseline as he thought as a cloaked individual landed in front of him. The boy quickly re-evaluated this loop from baseline to minor variant. A voice echoed from the hood, masked in a jutsu designed to disguise his voice, "Uzumaki Naruto, I already know you are being summoned for a private meeting with the Hokage. There, you will resign as a ninja, immediately."
Naruto blinked, "And why would I do that?"
The individual was silent, however he threw a picture at Naruto. On the front, it had a picture of Naruto and Kiba giving a passionate kiss to one another. Scrunching his eyes, Naruto searched his loop memories, and there was indeed a forbidden relationship between himself and Kiba this loop. Tsume would murder him for sure if she found out. Indeed if this had been the baseline Naruto, the individual might have succeeded in convincing 'Naruto' to quit his dream. This Naruto, however, was not someone that could be cowed.
With a burst of speed, the boy knocked off the individual's hood, revealing Sasuke Uchiha looking completely surprised, "Wha, hey! How did you-!"
Naruto gave a nasty grin. This Sasuke was not awake. He had met a Sasuke similar to this that time Deidara had literally fallen from the stars and his unawake self had adopted him as his brother. Naruto sighed, "You're pretty good with blackmail. Nice try, but you're not in my league."
He pulled out a binder holding some of his worst blackmail materials he had on various loopers and flipped to Sasuke's section. Then, he threw the book to Sasuke. It was almost hilarious watching Sasuke grow paler and paler. Naruto recognized when he reached the picture of Sasuke and Itachi sharing an intimate kiss as the boy turned a vibrant shade of purple and red in fury, "B-b-b-Bstard! Lies...fakes."
With a burst of fire, the blackmail binder went up in smoke, only for Naruto to be holding two more identical blackmail binders, "Just imagine what your fangirls will say when they see pictures of you kissing the other graduates in unsanctioned relationships. And that Itachi picture...whoa, the council will never let you out of the village if you think you're trying to re-join your brother. And the psyche examinations...You'll never get revenge on your brother like this."
Sasuke looked like a puppet without his strings attached, "I just wanted a teammate that wouldn't slow me down or hold me back when I go after Itachi."
Naruto shrugged, "Well what if Itachi was acting under orders of a black ops organization in Konoha called Root, and they held you hostage to force your brother to murder your family?"
With that, Naruto started forming new plans for this loop...plans where he and Sasuke would have a hell of a time blackmailing half of Konoha into making Naruto Hokage, clearing Itachi's name and breaking up with Kiba.
2.12 (Fractalman)
"You've got the serums?" asked Naruto.
Sakura nodded. "You got the darts?"
Tobi heard the 'assassin' approach; heard the dart move through the air. He deflected it with a kunai...or tried to; the dart simply swerved around the kunai. Then he went intangible, but the dart didn't care. "Ouch!" he said. "Tobi...Tobi is a good boy". Then he passed out.
Things went much the same for the rest of Akatsuki, though Orochimaru took two darts before he went under.
Nabbing the statue was trivial for Naruto, as was injecting just a teeny tiny bit of chakra from each biju. Waking Kaguya all the way up without pumping her full of massive amounts of chakra wasn't trivial; it was merely easy.
"Hi. You were once known as the Rabbit, weren't you?"
"Well, yes, now I'm going to take your chakra."
But it was like trying to grip an icy wall of iron with a feather duster.
"Kanoha secret technique: A thousand years of twelve-gauge and it's going all the way in!"
"YEEOUCH! YOU...brat..." Then Kaguya passed out.
*knock knock knock*
Sasuke wondered who it could be. Probably Naruto.
He opened the door...and beheld a box. He activated a thin layer of Susanoo; the last several times there'd been a box on his doorstep, it had exploded. He waited. Was that...mewling?
He opened the box...and beheld a large number of kittens. Akatsuki kittens, if he was not mistaken. He sighed. "Naruto, you've been reading far too much Hub fan-fiction. "
Then he noticed something. "Wait...what's with the rabbit?"
Then he got an idea.
Naruto's only warning was a chill running down his spine, before he was ambushed by several kittens and a rabbit, led by the Demon Cat, Tora, all covered in Amaterasu-Kamui-Susanoo.
2.13 (Fractalman)
"Say, when was the last time we pranked Sarutobi?" asked Kurama.
Naruto shrugged. "I forget. more than a hundred loops, I think."
"Huh. Well, next loop, get him to be the one to say 'your not a demon', and then summon me in chibi form, would ya?"
Naruto grinned. "Sure thing."
The next loop…
A few whispered words here, a change in pranking patterns there, and after beating Mizuki, it was the Hokage who showed up to say "Naruto, you're not a demon."
"Well, duh!" shouted Naruto, "If I was the kyuubi, I wouldn't be able to do this! Kuchiyose no jutsu!"
In a puff of smoke, a nine-tailed fox appeared. A slightly oranger than normal, female fox, who sneezed away the rest of the smoke.
"ACHOO! Oh, hi Naruto!"
"Hi Kurama, how you doing!"
The fox blinked. "I'm not Kurama, I'm Millie. As in, Ozzy and Millie?"
Naruto grinned sheepishly. "Oh, whoops. When I felt the ping in my stomach I assumed you were Kurama."
Millie waved a paw dismissively. "Eh, no big deal. Hey, can I go blow up some mountains? Please, please pleaaaassee?"
"ACK! Help! It's my only remaining weakness, Puppy Fox Eyes no jutsu!"
Then Naruto collapsed, to Millie's giggles and Old Man Sarutobi's sweatdrop.
2.1 - I think someday, Sakura is going to have a twin sister one loop.
2.2 - That's one way to stop Sakura.
2.3 - The Doctor, he burns at the center of time and can see the turn of the universe. And now, he's looping.
2.4 - Naruto forgot that Haseo has the exact same voice actor as anime dub Sasuke.
2.5 - It's the thought that counts behind these gifts.
2.6 - Why is it that all contracts across the multiverse require the shedding of blood?
2.7 - Sakura got over her Nympho Phase and even she's ashamed of who she once was. Unfortunately, she sometimes has...relapses after bad loops.
2.8 - More loot from the Random Loot Generator. And sometimes, loopers can't avoid stepping on each other's toes.
2.9 - Based on a true, touching story of a mother who saved her child during an earthquake.
2.10 - Kakashi also discovered later that loop that Sakura was related to Danzo. Based on Branches by To Mockingbird
2.11 - Blackmail Sasuke is best Sasuke. Also loosely based off of Sasuke from My Wish Order Brother by PiperDreamer
2.12 - For all those who love Akatsuki kittens...I'm with Sasuke on this one.
2.13 - Nothing like the classic pranks, that don't go according to plan. Time to improvise.