Lucy's POV

It had been five days since he left, I was worried. Not only was he going to destroy one of the most notorious dark guilds around with only three others, but Christmas was two days away. Everyone was busy either decorating the guild or buying gifts. I was simply watching Droy set up his enormous evergreen tree in the middle of the guild, while others used the large size of the tree to mock Evergreen. Elfman getting infuriated at the insults towards his woman.

"Hopefully this doesn't end like the last Christmas party we had in the guild," said Gray, looking at the tree as he approached the bar stool next to mine.

"I don't even remember what happened last year," Cana interjected.

"That's because you were already shit faced before the party started."

I couldn't help but giggle at the two bickering, wondering how they put up with each other for the past 15 years, since they were the first of our generation to join(besides Laxus). Glancing around, I noticed the season seeping into everyone's bones. Lisanna had to drag Natsu out of the guild to make sure he didn't set the tree on fire again. Erza was actually being helpful. Happy was decorating the top of the tree.

Cana leaned over to me, snapping me out of my wondering, "So, how was your night with Laxus?" She drew out the name in a very provocative manner.

"He's amazing isn't he?" with the same tone she previously used.

"I don't know, we didn't d- WAIT! You slept with him?" I asked incredulously. Apparently seething enough for Cana to slide to the next stool over. Gray taking this as his cue to leave.

"What? It was a long time ago. Mira did too!" she added. Drawing the demon into this.

"CANA!" the barmaid shouted. Furious that the gypsy brought her into it.

"You BOTH slept with him?"

Cana looked away as if she were in the middle of an embarrassing situation, and Mira's face went blood-red.

"Tell me, NOW!" I shouted with more venom than I knew I had.

Cana spoke first, "It was just a one night stand the night of my eighteenth birthday party. I barely even remember it..." An obvious lie to both Mira and I, since her face flushed and she had the look of pure ecstasy written upon it, caught in her memory. "Even though it was my first time." I then turned to Mirajane who kept trying to hide her face.

"Now it's your turn Mira. Spit it out." The barmaid flustered, trying to organize her thoughts before speaking.

"After Lisanna 'died', I didn't really do anything. I was practically catatonic. Everyone trying to comfort me just brought the realization on harder that she was dead. But Laxus he was there, and even though Lisanna's death hurt him too, he didn't show it because it would make things harder for me. For those few months, he was my safe haven. When I was with him I felt like everything was normal. It took the thoughts and blame of the incident away from me."

I soon felt guilty for getting angry at the woman moments earlier, hearing the pain in her voice.

"But when he wasn't around, I'd have nightmares. So he'd stay with me every night. Until I woke one time from a nightmare and felt him holding me to his chest. My sweat coated on his chest, and my nail marks covering his torso were dripping blood. Knowing that he held me when I was screaming and hurting him made me feel something I hadn't felt in a very long: comfort. There was a warmth growing in my chest, and without thinking, I leaned up and kissed him. He didn't resist because he knew it would hurt my feelings. That night, he stayed with me as a man, and many nights afterwards. It was my first time too. I am the way I am because of him. I'll always be grateful to him for helping me move on. And to this very day... I still love him."

All of the nerves in my body went completely numb. My brain had just shutdown from trying to take in all of this information. Noticing this, Mira soon corrected herself, "I mean as a friend! As a friend, Lucy."

"When he wouldn't come help fight against Phantom Lord, that's the reason I was angry. I wanted the old Laxus back. He wouldn't admit it, but the reason he hated Gajeel wasn't because Phantom made Fairy Tail look weak, but because they hurt his family."

I found it unnerving that my friends were more experienced with my boyfriend than I was. "Oh, yeah," Cana said, breaking my train of thought. "Erza used to have a crush on him before his father was expelled," shocking both Mirajane and I. Hearing this, Erza gave the coldest death stare to Cana that I had ever seen. I really couldn't process all of this, so I got up and left before they had a chance to tell me more of Laxus' past conquests.

Third Person POV

Cana, caught deep in reminiscence of her night with Laxus. Well, night, and morning, and day, and night again. If there was a championship for endurance, that living storm would have been undefeated. She simply muttered, "That man... was an artist..." "mmhmm," Mira replying with a look of pure serenity plastered all over her face.

"Hey, Mira? Do you think we should have told her about Jenny?"

"NO!"

Lucy's POV

I wandered around a while, wondering what I meant to Laxus. Was I just a piece of ass to him? Was he simply comforting me because I was in tears? Was I just a fun way to pass the time? I knew none of these were the case, but with him being gone a week, as well as hearing of what must have been only a fraction of his love life, I was a little intimidated.

He had been with these women who were SO gorgeous. Cana had the body of a goddess; it doesn't even make me feel gay saying it, because it's that amazing. Mira was the most beautiful girl in all of Fiore, always the covergirl of Sorcerer Weekly, and the epitome of carnal desire. What was I to those girls? And if he could get women like that, then what was I to him? He could do so much better, yet he wastes his time on me. If being handsome, muscular, sexy, intelligent, strong, powerful, charming, and, apparently, the greatest lover known to mankind wasn't enough, he was rich, and was the next guild master of Fairy Tail. All I am is the failed daughter of the failed Heartfilia family. A celestial spirit mage, and the weakest member of Team Natsu.

While dwelling on my insecurities, I heard Laxus' voice in the back of my mind, telling me I'm perfect. I wasn't sure if I should believe that, but one thing's for certain. There's nothing I want more right now than to see him. To smell his scent which made me lose my strength, to feel his warm embrace, to see the never-ending blue in his eyes, to hear his euphonious voice which sent shivers through my body. Everything about him left my senses satiated, yet craving more of the stimuli.

I stopped in my tracks, looking straight up to the clouds which blocked all of the blue in the sky. Snow cascading my face.

No, I don't want to see him. I need to.

A/N: This was a bit filler-ish but added a bit of weight to the current situation. The next chapter will be a lot longer. Also, please review. I want you guys to tell me if I should add lemons or simply make them heavily implied. Would you like this to just be a bunch of random events or see it revolve around a plot?