Chapter 5 The Coffin part one
After dinner, dancing, and drinking fine wine the 7 friends decided that it was time to leave and the titans wanted to see how the castle turned out. So the team began to argue about whether to go home or see X's new said, " I don't think you should fly us home your drunk!"
"oh please, I was drunk when I flew us here"
"you put our lives in danger!"
"no if I had'n been drunk we would have crashed i don't know how to fly sober... that is unless I'm flying using my wings"
" have you gone completely insane"
" would you rather pilot this enormous indestructible jet capable of light speed while all the passengers remain completely oblivious to their speed where only a person with a brain working slower than normal can see out the window and actually know where they are"
"wait that makes no sense"
"it's the logic of a drunk, don't over think it"
X, trying to end the argument, said " you guys have two choices you can see my new home or I'll drive back to your home" Robin replied " does that mean you won't fly us to your house"
" I never said that"
" But your drunk"
"I was drunk on the way here"
Srarfire quickly tried to maintain peace by saying, "Wasn't your house on the north pole? If so I would very much like to see if Santa is there." Robin quickly said, "I hate to tell you this Star but Santa doesn't exist" X shook Robin and said, "are you mad!? Santa does exist and I know because I met him" Robin struggled to release the king's grip and said, "let go of me you dam drunk!" Srarfire quickly helped Robin escape the king's clutches "friends please stop fighting do you wish to cause damage to one another!" Beastboy, trying to solve the problem, yelled "let's just have a vote." and the vote did solve their problem so on their way to the castle they went.
"Here we are welcome to my multitrilion dollar home" X said as he walked down the velvet floor to sit on his throne. Kitty stood by her fiance and said, " that was a great date would you like to get some coffee"
"Yeah and while you're in the kitchen can you get me a sandwich "
" no that's not what I..."
" I know what you meant I was being sarcastic," the future queen stormed of up the seemingly endless stairs to the room at the top of the castle before slamming the door and yelling "make your own dam sandwich! ASSHOLE!" X looked up before taking of his hat shades and bandana revealing red eyes sharp teeth and long hair. The king once again injected himself with the green substance he continues to use. The titans saw an immediate change his eyes turned from a bright crimson to a dark brown one shade away from black as his teeth turned back to normal he tied his bandana around his top hat like the ribbon previously visible before putting his shades on the hat and tossing it across the room and onto the hat rack before slumping in his chair. Robin was the first to speak "so... I just noticed that most of your androids are girls" X looked up and smiled knowing his friend was trying to brighten his mood " oh yeah there are certain tasks that girls are best at and that list far out weighs the list for men" Robin quickly stopped smiling and tried to restart their argument from before "name one thing girls can do better than boys!" X responded but not with words rather with a demonstration. He clapped his hands and lifted his feet off the ground just then one of his robotic servants jumped on the floor in front of him and acted like a foot rest should just then two more came one with a soda the other with a sandwich . X quickly turned his attention to the one with the sandwich and threw her an angry look before two more came one put a knife in his sandwich earning a pat on the head before the other one place a remote in his hand. X turned to Robin and said "need to say any more?" Robin stared at him disapproving of his methods "that's sexist! And what's the remote for anyway." X pointed behind them to the seventy inch plasma widescreen t.v. behind them. Just then one of the androids saw his eyes gradually change color and took his reflective shades showed him the change before X allowed her to put his shades on his face just then Robin asked, "hey is the t.v. three d?" Immediately the androids took the stuff they brought off the king's armrests before the one under his feet rolled away and the furious X slammed his hands on his armrests hard enough to slightly bend the metal and break the floor with his feet before yelling "no! That's a stupid fucking gimmick and everyone knows it!" Robin saw his fury and began to apologize " ok, ok, I'm sorry. Don't bite my head off! Dam!" The king calmed down and the androids returned things to how they were before his little outburst. And X turned on his t.v. opened up his laptop and made the t.v. start playing Hellsing ultimate abridged causing Raven to question him " why did they give you the remote if you were going to use your laptop to control your t.v."
" because I can't turn it on from my laptop"
"Then why didn't you just tell one of them to fly up to the t.v. and turn it on manually"
"They already broke my ninety inch t.v. doing that"
"Will anyone ever win an argument with you"
"Doubt it"
Just then X came to a sudden realization. "Who messed with my vampire cure?" Robin realized then that X didn't have a drug problem and when he replaced X's cure with water and green food coloring he had not done right so he confessed. "I did." X snapped his fingers and a group of scientists came through the doors to the basement laboratory "Robin tell my scientists what you did with there three hundred years of work." Robin looked down very ashamed of his actions what had been a happy surprise had turned into a huge disaster. "i replaced it with green water because I thought it was drugs." the scientists started yelling angrily in German complaining to their king and yelling at Robin. X got up out of his chair and walked up to the scientists who bowed respectfully awaiting commands. "the past is behind us all that matters now is that i get a cure in me now!" quickly the scientists ran down to their lab and got the king his cure wile Robin started asking questions. " so your a vampire?"
" if it had been my decision I would have stayed mortal had i known what would happen that night I wouldn't have excepted my friends offer." Beastboy spoke up for one question " can't you just wish to be human again?"
" if only an eternal curse could be lifted with such an easy action. Oh before I forget I left something of mine in your home." Robin suddenly became curious "aren't you rich can't you buy another of what you left"
"the materials used to make what I left do not exist in this universe i would have to travel through the multiverse back to my dimension on the other side of the fourth wall to gather the materials to make another."
"Fourth wall? Like in a play or t.v. show?"
"Yes in my home all we do all day is watch tv to see which universe I should go to so far yours was the only one to make the cut"
" you believe the multiverse theory."
" I'm a christian I only believe scientifically possible things." Raven was confused by his statement and wanted to know more. " Really."
" Yea. Really, your half demon your living proof of my religion."
" I still don't get how my existence makes your religion scientifically possible."
" I wish the Mormon slayer was here but she would never come cause she's dead it's been three hundred years since I've seen her out smart Harvard evolutionary scientists with her constant facts disproving the theory of evolution without effort."
" but aren't Mormons Christians too."
" Mormons disobeyed Revelations by adding a new new testament to the bible I don't consider them Christians."
" who is the Mormon slayer anyway?"
" My sister! she died about three hundred years ago in the church i built."
" I'm sorry for your loss."
" Oh it's o.k. you weren't directly responsible were you?" Robin just remembered what X was telling them before, " what do you need us to bring you from our place?"
" A coffin."