AN: many will be offended in this chapter! I guarantee it
Chapter 8 X's dreams
After X gave Victor his powers he was laid to rest in his coffin. while there he went to the dream he has after he watches Uncle Grandpa. in the weird land things were oddly normal which was very abnormal in this particular dream. X was walking around uninterrupted which was weird because normally he was unable to walk without someone telling him he was odd or some variation of odd everyone else was also walking normally so X was trying to seek wisdom from the wisest person around, MasakoX, so he walked up to him and said, "What's going on around here? Am I where I think I am? What is wrong with everyone today, they're all acting not weird!" Masako looked at X and said, "Why it's simple! X it's opposite day " X would have been thrilled if not for one fact. "You mean to tell me that I'm not in power; your not famous on the internet, everyone i don't care about,excluding me and the rest of four teens entertainment, is; and Team four star rules the world!"
"yes."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"IT'S JUST FOR TODAY GEESE!"
"WHY COULDN'T IT BE BURRITO TUESDAY! WHY OPPOSITE DAY WHY NOW!?"
"CALM DOWN EVERYTHING WILL BE BACK TO NORMAL TOMORROW!"
"wait what day is it and i don't mean opposite day which for some reason is a national holiday here in crazy town"
"Actually it's Nutsvile we changed it since last you visited"
"Ok, Ok, OK, Ok, but what day is it super sunday; moronic monday; Burrito tuesday; Weird wednesday; thrilling thursday; freaky freaky Friday from outer space; or silly Saturday? Come on Masako you always know what day it is."
"But it's opposite day."
"Oh fucking shit this is just fan-fucking-tastic where could I find a complete idiot right now... wait Masako quick do the Goku voice and then tell me what day it is."
"Ok (clears throat) it's Freaky freaky Friday from outer space" just then X awoke, and remembered where he was. X started listening to what was happening outside with his telepathy seeing as the coffin was airtight it was also sound proof and telepathy was the only way to hear them. X heard bad decisions being made and decided to separate his body from his soul as he did so his body became like a fierce creature trying to escape his cage. His soul left the box and walked over to the throne and said, "NO! Don't sign that!" Just then Victor turned around and saw the disembodied man and said, "oh shit! How the fuck did you get out of your coffin. I thought it was impossible to get out of that box without the key you gave me."
"I'm still in the box just not entirely." Just then the box started jumping and muffled screams could be heard from within. Victor ask, "Shit what the fucking hell are you!?"
"Technically I'm a ghost though I'm still alive."
"Then why can I see and hear you"
"Everyone can see ghost but a ghost can choose to hide and not all people turn into ghosts you know like in that movie where the comatose woman was a ghost and she couldn't understand why though in that movie nobody could see her save that one guy and the little girl."
"Ok... but why can't I sigh this law to make it official?"
"Read it"
"I have read it. It allows gay marriage"
"Exactly!"
"I have nothing against them"
"Your job is not to make decisions based on opinion it's to make decisions based on the bible"
"What's the bible got to do with this?"
"EVERYTHING!"
"What!?"
"You can't sign that!"
"Why not?"
"read 1st Corinthians character 6 verse 9-11"
"Let's make the Android do it I can't read Latin" the Android with the bible walked up to the throne and read to the replacement but not before getting in one sarcastic comment, "fine! An putas, quia non est iustus non possidebunt regnum Dei?-"
"No I mean in English!"
"Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the spirit of God." Victor, having just remembered a crucial detail,turned to X and said, "wait didn't you say you wrote this bible?"
"No I said I directly translated it from Hebrew, Greek, and the other language the bible was written in I forgot what it's called but I know it starts with an a (quietly) probably."
"What do you mean 'probably'"
"I mean I'm unsure of the spelling of the name of the last language I spoke of."
"No I think you were unsure about wether or not you translated it right some bibles don't have homosexuals in the list of people who won't inherit the kingdom of God"
"That's because some people are afraid of offending heathens I honestly don't care."
"But people will judge you."
" I'm more concerned with God judging me imagine standing before the throne and saying ' I'm sorry for editing your book I didn't want to make the people who already weren't going to heaven feel bad.' What a sad excuse; what you don't know can hurt you."
"That last part what was that about"
"You mean 'what you don't know can hurt you' it's a reference to a pastor who was referencing a farmer insurance commercial."
"So that was unoriginal"
"Just get the stamp that says veto and use it!"
"But it's wrong that they don't get rights."
"Oh if only my sister was here she could tell you the exact bible verse that opposes that statement."
"That's a thing?"
"Yea. It says that they can have rights they just can't marry or date or fuck."
"Where?"
"I don't know somewhere in Proverbs"
"Where in Proverbs?"
"If my sister were alive she could tell you but she's not" suddenly Raven came into the castle through a purple portal and said, "quick I need to borrow the vampire!"
"I am he, who you are after, what noble task have you for me?"
"I need you to-" suddenly she noticed that the tv was showing an apocalyptic world in which the man in the box was ripping people limb from limb and drinking their blood as the undead men he left behind walked toward him angry and trying to get back their blood as he drew his sword and fought back against the death he caused. When Raven said, "what the crap are you watching!?" The king's spirit and his replacement saw the tv and Victor said, "Oh that. The androids wanted to see what you were dreaming about so they hooked up your coffin with the tv."
"Ah! just like them to worry about me when they know I'm in the safest place ever." Raven spoke once more, " yea yea ok ok, why are you dreaming about that!?"
"Well I'm a disembodied soul and my body, through the body of a pastor, is still a vampiric body and is crying out for blood!?"
"So your body is evil but your soul is not?"
"Yea your getting it all people are inherently evil but through the Lord we can learn to be good."
"So will you come with me your task is to kill the demon I accidentally summoned to this dimension"
"I would but my body would try to defy me and drink blood. That dream is a vision of what is to come should you release me without a cure at the ready" just then the German scientists were knocking on the bottom of the throne. Victor, confused, felt the vibrations and said, "what the hell was that"
"Didn't my androids explain the Jupiter portal thing under my throne"
"Yea while we watched you dream she explained it but I wasn't listening. I was laughing at you."
"Get off my throne. And lift it up."
"Ok" as he lifted the throne so the back lay on the velvet floor a scientist flew through the portal up to the top of the stairway that Victor was completely oblivious to until now. As he came back down kitty looked down from the top of the stairs. X's spirit returned to his coffin and the coffin that had been violently shaking was now calm and collected.