All The Fish In The Sea
[4]
You failed, too?
A/N: Originally, I wasn't sure if I would add more to this, since little drabbles for the headcanon tend to get tiny lines retconned or forgot about completely, but here's one I enjoyed. To avoid confusion, Kazuki is Takeru's little mini-me (his and Hikari's youngest kid).
Pairings/Warnings: Pairings include Jyoumato, Takari, and Taishirou. / Mentions of suicide attempts.
On the car ride over, Jyou watched Yamato. He hated when his husband did that: just staring out the window, thinking. Or moping. Or angry. Or even just content. Even after a year together and nearly a lifetime of friendship, Jyou still couldn't read him when he got like this.
Instead, Jyou squeezed Yamato's hand. The blonde squeezed back.
Yamato sighed as he walked, holding a loose cigarette in his mouth. He found himself noticing familiar tiles from two years earlier and gave a smile. A nurse stopped him, "You can't smoke in here."
"I've been told," the blonde replied, pointing out it wasn't lit. Still, having it between his lips eased his anxiety. Eventually he put it behind his ear and shook his own stiff muscles loose before the nurse went on her way. He was nearly there and he wouldn't have to repeat himself for the fifth time now.
He came to the end of the hall and slipped his coat from his shoulders, tossing it over his arm. He looked at the room number next to the one he was standing in front of and chuckled before finally going in.
The fourteen year old teenager laid there, pale and trying to breathe. The beeping and the hums all came back to the adult as he walked over and leaned over the bed, "Well, you failed too, did you?"
Yamato resisted the urge to laugh. He glanced at the boy's wrists, bandaged. The arms were tied down with ugly brown straps. The boy made a weak noise, mostly to indicate he was listening. Yamato grabbed the chair behind him and moved it with a long screech towards the bed, then sat. He flopped back and sighed again, this time just thankful that his little brother wasn't there for the first time in days.
The last thing Yamato wanted was to irritate the situation more, but something drew him to this room, to his nephew laying there.
"I'm sorry," Kazuki started. "I... don't remember you too well."
"We don't talk much. It's okay," Yamato reassured him, resting a worn hand against his nephew's arm. "I just wanted to see that you were okay. I would have come sooner, but your Dad..."
Kazuki gave a weak smile Yamato recognized in himself. "I understand."
"We aren't good at this, are we?" Yamato questioned, tapping the since-healed-over part of his scalp where a bullet had failed.
Kazuki smiled at least, but it faded. "I wish Russel could come see me."
Yamato had enough and lit the cigarette behind his ear anyway. When he was done, he continued, "Mimi's in that remake of Independance Day, so I'm sure they'll be busy for a few weeks. She's playing the president's wife, you know. One of the best characters in the movie and she gets to die all tragically..." The older blonde watched as the younger's heart sank and realized he was rambling once more. "Still... I bet Russel misses you more than anything else. Knowing that little Hellion, he's probably kicking nurses' ankles trying to get up here." Hopefully at least one of those wretches who wouldn't let me smoke. Ha.
"Yamato..."
"Mmm?"
"I'm glad you came to see me. You're the only one who hasn't treated me like I didn't know what I was doing. Like I've gone mad or something..."
Yamato inhaled for a long time and closed his eyes, "Well, tunnel vision is just for us, select few."
"I don't understand."
"That's fine... you need you rest," Yamato said. He put the smoke out under his boot and headed for the door.
"Yamato. Wait," Kazuki urged.
He stopped at the door, fidgeting with the lighter in his pocket. "Yeah?"
"Does my... Does my... Dad... does he hate me?"
Oh, there it is. That inevitable thing. "Your father loves you, Kazuki."
"I don't think he does."
Yamato turned with an angry sigh. "Look, he loves you, Kaz. He just doesn't agree with our choices."
"Why?"
"Because he's an idiot."
Kazuki giggled a little, "You sound like Mom... 'Because God says so.'"
"Yep, sounds about right."
"...did living the way you wanted work for you, Uncle Yamato?"
The blonde felt the urge to shake off the title for some reason. Probably because despite the kids being so old, he had rarely seen them and almost never been called Uncle directly. "If I had lived the way I wanted to, Kazuki... things would've been much better than the Hell your father's God has put me through."
Kazuki squirmed a little, still unsure of his decision. Yamato had his foot out the door when the child called after him: "Will Russel hate me?!"
Yamato just laughed. He wasn't going to give the kid all the answers. Sure, Yamato could reassure him, but Yamato wasn't sure of Russel's true intentions or if Russel would even forgive the boy. Yamato thought of Jyou, sitting in the place Yamato was in now, lecturing and he laughed. Still, he had never been able to shake the fact that he always wondered what it was like for Jyou, being in such a position as he was, unable to do anything but plead for his co-workers and good friends to do something as he coded in the next room. The blonde put his jacket back on from the chills and started out.
That was when he saw Takeru, Hikari, and Lucian. Yamato stopped, unsure of what the three would do in his prescence. Yamato decided to end anything before it started, "I was just leaving."
"Y-you're here," Takeru whispered, double-taking his brother.
Yamato stopped, gave a short blink as if saying, 'Duh. And?'
Takeru seemed to hold something back, "I didn't think..."
"You're still my brother," Yamato interrupted. "He's still my nephew. That's all that matters."
Takeru growled to himself, "It didn't matter with Mom."
Yamato chuckled. "Later Hikari. Lucian." He continued down the hall and returned to the waiting room where Taichi, Koushiro, and Jyou. Specifically, the blonde noted his husband's worried expression. Yamato waited a moment for Jyou's inevitable squeal of worry.
"Takeru isn't in the next room over by now?" Jyou breathed in true, utter disbelief.
Yamato tried to keep a straight face and glanced over at Taichi, who was snickering. Koushiro punched him in the side. "You got something to say, Yagami?"
"Just wondering why no one in your family can kill themselves properly."
Koushiro took Taichi's cane and started beating him in his good leg.
Yamato laughed, "Wait until Bug shatters her leg in twenty years. You'll get my words."
"Not if that bad habit of yours doesn't kill you first," Taichi smirked.
"Just for that, I'm totally smoking in your car on the way back," the blonde remarked, taking a seat next to Jyou. Yamato crossed his leg over the other and closed his eyes.
"In your dreams," Koushiro remarked.