"I'm not sure I can do it," Bucky explained to his friend Steve, who was sitting on the couch as Bucky paced, attempting to get ready for his date.
"C'mon Buck, you've been trying to get this girl for 3 years. Since when are you nervous around girls?" Steve asked. Bucky just stared at him in a mocking manner and continued his pacing.
"That's the point Steve! She's not just some girl…it's different…I just, I don't want to mess this up," Bucky said, finally sitting down with his head in his hands.
"It'll be fine. She hardly knows you, so you have plenty of time for improvement," Steve replied with a smirk. Standing up, Bucky threw a glare Steve's way, along with a pillow to the head.
Isabel sat alone in her room, contemplating whether this was wise or not; going on a date with a man she hardly knew; she wasn't really one to…'date' at all really. Brushing through her auburn hair and contemplating an outfit for the night. She stared into the mirror, her freckled face and bright blue eyes staring back at her. Sighing, she got up and got changed, hoping all went well. She hardly knew James, or "Bucky" as everyone seemed to call him. A bizarre name she thought; she made a mental note to ask him about it...assuming their date didn't go horribly and he didn't just leave. As said before, she didn't date much, and when she did it often didn't go well. Finally, she finished getting ready; she headed out to meet James.
Isabel strode down the streets of Brooklyn on an especially cloudy day. Praying it wouldn't rain, she quickened her pace to the restaurant, recalling when James asked her to meet him here.
Isabel sat in her favorite café alone, reading, as she did most afternoons. The café was rarely crowded, in fact few people knew of the small building on the corner of two small side streets. She wasn't the type to go out with other people much. Some might say she didn't quite fit in with her age group. Sighing, looking around at the lack of people at the little café she continued reading her book. Suddenly two boys walk in, one with blonde hair. He was awfully short, and rather small. The other was tall, or taller at least. He had brown hair, and she couldn't help but think he was rather attractive. Ignoring this thought and taking a sip of her coffee she continued reading her book. Not ten minutes later, the taller boy was seated in front of her. From what she could tell he was attempting to 'woo' her in some way. 'Men...' she thought to herself. He was telling her something about wanting to enlist in the army one day; she had zoned out to be completely honest. She didn't mean to be rude; she simply wasn't interested in his desire to be a hero.
"…and you're not listening to a word I'm saying are you?" He…James she believed was his name, said with a smirk. She looked at him, firing off a quick apology and stating she needed to leave she got up.
"Wait! Would you meet me at the restaurant down the road tomorrow? I promise I won't bore you to death," She just stared at him, how odd this was.
"Sure, I guess. I'll be there," She swiftly stated, regretting her decision as she walked home.
Suddenly it dawned on her. It was him! The man who had pestered her so many times before about going for dinner with him! How could she not recognise him! 'I am such an idiot. He's James Barnes, he asked me for help when we were young, at school. He wasn't the brightest boy…that's not important, ugh he's going to expect that I had remembered him. No no no…I don't remember anything about him! I've never really spoken to him much, aside from when he would talk to me and I would be rude and continue reading and…too late now'. There was Bucky, standing outside the restaurant, show only now realized was also a bar. She had to admit he didn't look awful…'No, don't do that Isabel. It's one evening, that's it.'
"Hello Isabel, you look lovely," Bucky stated as he offered her his arm. She stared at it or a moment and took it, muttering a 'Hello'.
They sat at their table, and looked at their menus. Isabel kept peeking over the top of hers, wondering if she should be saying something, and then deciding not to. She repeated this process several times before Bucky spoke up.
"You know you can talk, right?" He smirked at her, slowly placing down the menu.
"I'm aware," She stated quietly.
"That's kind of what you do on a date,"
"Well then perhaps you should have started a conversation since you seem to be aware of the proper etiquette for such things," Isabel stated, slightly flustered.
"I believe I was the one who started this conversation," Bucky said, smirking again.
"I meant starting a conversation about something interesting,"
"Well whenever I have tried to do that in the past you tend to ignore me," Bucky stated, sounding rather irritated.
"That's because you came off as an arrogant ass!" Isabel said, exasperated at this point and slightly embarrassed at her choice in words.
"Well then why did you even agree to come here?" Bucky asked, sounding a little hurt at this point.
"I…I'm not really sure. Would you rather I leave?"
"No! I mean…if you really want to, but no. I don't want you to…I'm sorry, this isn't how this was supposed to go," Bucky said rubbing a hand over his face.
"Right, well, we should probably try this again," Isabel said, offering a small smile.
"I think I would like that," Bucky smiled at her.
3 years later
"Bucky stop!" Isabel screeched attempting to escape his grasp; her laughter making it rather difficult to take her seriously. He just laughed, continuing tickling her sides.
"Bucky I-I can't br-breath!"
"Alright, alright," Bucky rolled over, laying on the floor next to her now. They lay like that for a while. Not speaking, a comfortable silence surrounding them.
"I, uh, I enlisted yesterday," He spit out as quickly and quietly as he could.
"You what?!" Isabel asked, sitting up slightly to look at him.
"In the army, I enlisted." He repeated more confidentially, sitting up as well.
"Bucky! Don't you think you maybe should have talked to me? Oh my…you can't. This is crazy; you can't go off to fight in the war!" She rambled with a pained expression on her face.
"What am I supposed to do? Sit here? Do nothing? People are dying Isabel; I don't have the luxury of ignoring that. If there is any way I can make a difference then I will." He may have been a little harsh, but this was important to him. He had to do something. Couldn't she understand that? He couldn't just sit back and do nothing.
"You don't have to ignore it! But going out and-and fighting and killing and possibly getting killed…" She trailed off there. What else was there to say? She didn't want to lose him. She didn't have many people in her life that she cared for; Bucky was the most important person in her life. He can't die. He simply can't.
"Isabel…I don't even have a location or date yet. They didn't tell me right away, said I would hear from them. I won't get killed. Even if I get shipped off somewhere, I promise, I'll come back," He told her, kissing her forehead. Isabel looked up at him, with almost a playful glare.
"You'd better," She said, leaning up to kiss him, just a touch. He smirked, flipping over and staring at her.
"What?" She asked him innocently. He just continued to stare at her, his smirk falling as he looked into her eyes.
"You're just really beautiful,"
"Is that the best you can do Barnes?" she challenged, raising an eyebrow.
"I think I used up all my best lines on our first few dates," Bucky said.
"Why would you do something like that? Not the best plan, using all your resources up so soon," Isabel smiles, slowly putting her arms around his neck.
"Well if I hadn't we may not be here now," he whispered, leaning down to whisper in her ear, "and we couldn't have that." Feathering kisses from her ear, along her jaw to her lips. His chapped lips snagged on hers. Her hands were in his hair, his arms holding himself up. She kissed him, thinking of the possibility that this may not last forever. Not anymore. She savoured it, every touch, every sigh. She lov-
"OH MY GOODNESS! I'm so sorry, I-I uh. I um. I'll go out there now," Steve stumbled back out of the house. Isabel looks up at Bucky, who looks like he's ready to throw Steve across the city, but still thoroughly amused. She just burst out laughing, and he soon joins. Their foreheads against each other's, laughter slowing to soft smiles, they gazed into each other's eyes. Isabel's hands still in his hair, playing with the ends. Bucky rolled over, sighing and pulling her into his side.
Steve finally decided that they should be…done by now. He unlocked the door again and walked in, only to see them curled up on the floor asleep. He smiled and walked over to his room. He had spent yet another day attempting to enlist in the army, only to be shot down once again. Bucky enlisted, and got accepted. He wasn't given a date or location yet. 'I wonder how she took it,' Steve thought. She and Bucky had become so close over the years. He at least knew Bucky loved her; he never stopped talking about her, never. He hoped it would end well, that she wouldn't leave, and that he would come back. He honestly couldn't bear to see either of them without the other.
Slowly waking, feeling groggy Bucky looks around. It's just barely still light out. He looks over to see Isabel lying next to him on the hard floor.
"Izzy," he whispered, "wake up, we need to get you home."
"Too tired, I'll just stay here," she groaned, barely awake.
"You want to just stay in the middle of the floor until tomorrow?" he chuckled.
"Ugh…fine," she got up, hair all over her face, eyelids still half closed, earning yet another laugh from Bucky.
"Alright, let's go. I'll walk you home"
"Mkay…" She whispers softly, still partially asleep. Bucky came around to her side to help her up, wrapping his arm around her as they stepped out into the cold evening. They walked in silence, as swiftly as possibly as the sun set more and more behind them. Finally reaching her home, they stood in the door step.
"I should head in," Isabel stated, breaking the long, overhanging silence.
"Yeah, I'll uh, I'll see you soon," Bucky said, stepping away. Before anymore could be said, Isabel was inside and Bucky was disappearing into the dark.
"Hey Buck," Steve says as Bucky walks through the door.
"Hi," Bucky says, sitting himself down on the couch running his hands over his face.
"What's wrong?" Steve asked with a sigh.
"Isabel, she wasn't very happy about me enlisting yesterday,"
"Can you really blame her? I mean, you just went off and did it without even talking to her. She cares about you Buck, she doesn't want to see you get hurt,"
"I know, but, I just, damn it! I hate this! I'm trying to do what's right, but why would doing something right hurt her?! How is that fair?"
"Well it's not. Isn't that the idea though? Doing what you think is right, doing what is right, is that ever easy? Isabel will understand, you just told her today. Give her some time," Steve said, attempting to comfort his friend.
"Yeah, I'm just gonna go sleep. I'll see you tomorrow," Bucky said, getting up and going off to his room. He just lay down in his bed, not even bothering changing. He stared at the ceiling, hoping that Isabel wasn't hurt. Just praying he hadn't caused her any pain. He wasn't an idiot, he knew he had. All he could hope is that she would understand.
A few days later, Bucky left his home early, sneaking out before Steve was even awake. He needed time away, time to think. He had his orders; he was shipping out for England the next day. One day, they couldn't have given him anymore than that? He hadn't scene Isabel since the day he told her he had enlisted. He figured it was about time he actually went and saw her. After walking around aimlessly for a few hours, he began heading towards Isabel's home. As he was walking past an alley he heard banging of a trashcan and a few grunts. He stopped and looked down the alley, only to see what looked like someone beating a small man senseless. Only after looking closer did he realize that it was Steve.
"Damn it, he should know better by now," Bucky thought to himself.
"Hey! Why don't you pick on someone your own size?" he spat, pulling the man off Steve. Bucky proceeded in kicking him out of the alley before he ran off.
"Sometimes I think you like getting punched."
"Had him on the ropes," Steve replied, slowly getting up.
"How many times is this now?" Bucky asked, picking up the enlistment papers that had fallen out of Steve's coat.
"Ah, you're from Paramus now," he said mockingly
"You know it's illegal to lie on your enlistment forms." Steve stopped to look up at Bucky, only to see him in his uniform.
"You got your orders?" he asked.
"107th, Sargent James Barnes, shipping out for England first thing in the morning." Bucky said.
"Have you told Isabel yet?"
"I was just heading there. We should go out tonight, you should come along."
"I'm not tagging along on your date Buck."
"Come on, I'm leaving tomorrow, should I really have to choose between the two of you?"
"Alright, I guess, if Isabel is alright with it."
"Assuming she wants to come at all, you should go get cleaned up, I'm gonna go talk to her." Bucky said, heading the opposite direction.
Once parting ways with Steve, Bucky continued to Isabel's. Once he arrived he knocked on the door, which was immediately answered by a rather melancholy looking Isabel. She brightened up ever so slightly when she saw him, he loved that. Stepping aside, she invited him in. After sitting down, they stayed in silence for a few minutes.
"So, you got your orders?" Isabel asked.
"Uh, yeah. Tomorrow morning I'm shipping out for England." Bucky responded quietly.
"Tomorrow?! Already? You can't, that's, it's too soon. They have to give you longer than that."
"I wish they could, but that's not how it works. I have to go, I'm sor-"
"Don't say you're sorry. Don't. You shouldn't have to." Isabel said, the tears finally beginning to spill over.
"You shouldn't have to apologize for this. You're…you're not doing anything wrong…I just-" That was it, her sobs shook her as Bucky held her in his arms. They stayed like that for God knows how long, it didn't matter how long. He just held her.
"You should come," Bucky said, about to leave to meet up with Steve.
"No, he's your best friend, you're leaving tomorrow. I'll see you later," Isabel said with a small smile.
"Alright, I'll come see you after, I promise!" He said, jogging out the door.
That was it. That's as long as she could hold on. She just cried, she didn't know for how long, but it didn't matter. He was leaving, and she knew he would fight his hardest to come back, but that didn't matter either. He may never come back….
After nearly an hour of sorting out her thoughts, Isabel finally got up. She straightened herself out, and made herself presentable before heading into the kitchen to get a drink of water. Soon after she heard a knock on her door, knowing it was Bucky, she rushed over. Opening the door, there he was. Bright eyes and big smile staring down at her.
"Hi," She whispered.
"Hello ma'am," He replied with a smile and a small bow. Giggling, Isabel opened the door wider for him. He stepped inside, and for a few minutes there was a comfortable silence surrounding them. She began walking into the living room and he followed. She sat down on her couch with him by her side.
"So tomorrow," she said softly.
"Yeah, tomorrow," He barely whispered. There was a short silence before Isabel attempted to lighten the mood slightly.
"How was your time with Steve tonight?" She asked with a slight smile.
"It was great, until he left and tried to enlist again," Bucky said with slight anger in his voice.
"I don't know why he can't just think this through more. The kid can barely throw a punch, let alone fight a war,"
"He wants to help people. He wants to matter. He cares, and wants to do all he can. He wants to be like you," She whispered the last part, not daring to look into his eyes. Silence followed once again, the seconds ticked by like hours, both of them simply not knowing what to do with the small amount of time they had left.
"I'm coming back," He said sternly.
"I swear to God I'm coming back to you Isabel,"
"You don't know that,"
"Yes I do damn it! I'm coming home to you! Why can't you just trust me?" He asked desperately.
"I want to Bucky, but I can't kid myself! You're leaving, you're going to war! Do you think everything's just going to fall into place after that? I can't assume you're coming back to me. The world hasn't been kind to me thus far, why would it make an exception? I have to be prepared, because I'm going to be the one here if you're gone Bucky. I'll have to live without you," She said, barely finishing as tears fell down her cheeks. He didn't say anything, what could he? She wasn't wrong, but he had no intention of leaving her. He had never even thought of it that way before now. Slowly he pulled her closer and held her. She rested her head on his shoulder and cried. Long after her tears were gone they stayed like that. Him holding her, occasionally lightly feathering kisses on her head.
"It's getting late," Bucky whispered to her.
"I don't want you to leave," She said.
"I know," He slowly stood up, and Isabel followed.
"I love you, so much," He said, staring into her eyes. Before she could blink his lips were on hers. It was slow, and sweet, and unfortunately short. He pulled away, their faces still just millimetres apart.
"I love you too," She barely got out, as more tears fell.
"Don't cry, please. I'll be back before you know it," He said, forcing a smile and holding back his own tears.
"I know, I know,"
"I have to go,"
"I know," She said. Slowly backing away as he made his way out.
"I'll see you soon, m'lady," He said with a smile and a tip of his hat. She giggled slightly and waved. And that was it. He was gone.
Months later
It hadn't been easy with him gone, but she was managing. He wrote whenever he could. She hadn't heard from Steve in a while, but recently got news he was on the battlefield alongside Bucky. She wasn't sure of the details, just that there was some kind of experiment and now Steve was stronger and taller, according to Bucky. Either way, now she had two to worry about. She hadn't known him that well, but she did care about Steve and truly hoped he would make it home alongside Bucky.
Finishing up the dishes in her sink and hanging a towel, Isabel heard the doorbell ring. Confused as to who it was, she checked out the window, only to see Steve. She ran to the door and opened it, only to find a distraught looking soldier staring back at her. One look and she knew, she knew he was gone. He wasn't coming home to her. She would never see him again. A tears rolling down her cheek, she looked to the ground and let him in. They sat down, he told her the story. The fall, how he couldn't save Bucky, how he had lost him.
"It wasn't your fault Steve, you did all you could," She whispered.
"I could have done more, he shouldn't have even been there,"
"You know as well as I do he would have never let you go without him, the man was stubborn as a mule," She said with a sad smile. They sat like that, both lost.
Soon Steve left, he had to. He had a war to fight, so there she was. Alone. Hardly feeling anything anymore, just the cold numbness. The sudden bursts of tears when the numbing wore off. She was so angry. So hurt. She knew it wasn't fair, but he promised her. Promised he would come home. He promised he would always be there, that he would never leave.
He promised.