CHAPTER 3

Every day was more or less the same: Baghra, Botkin, library. But I could feel that I was getting stronger. As if one more barrier, that separated me from my power, was removed.

One day I was practicing near the lake with Baghra, when the Darkling, who I haven't seen for a few days, approached us.

"You are doing much better" he said.

"Maybe" I admitted, "but how can I know that I'm ready to face the Shadow Fold?"

"You'll know it when you get there" he shrugged. Then he looked at me with a teasing smile and asked "What do you want? Travel to the Fold to practice?"

"That's not a bad idea" said Baghra. I almost forgot that she was still there.

"That's a terrible idea" he said.

And then suddenly a thought appeared in my mind. I gathered all my courage and looked at the Darkling.

"You told me once, that even you don't have enough power to face the Fold. So how about I practice with you? I mean, if I can't handle you, I definitely can't face the Fold."

For the first time I saw Baghra smile. "That's a great idea" she said. "I'm starting to like you, girl."

The Darkling's face, however, wasn't very happy as he said, "No."

"What's wrong?" said Baghra, "Are you afraid she's gonna beat you in front of everybody?"

I couldn't stop myself from laughing.

"I just don't want Alina to get hurt."

"She might surprise you, boy!"

He sighed and looked at me "Are you sure?"

Of course I wasn't sure. But I nodded.

A small smile appeared on his lips and he said, "Fine. Lets give it a try."

He went over to the group of Grishas that were standing near the lakeside. After talking with them he came back with a man I didn't know, but by the color of his kefta I could see that he was a Healer. I tensed immediately. If the Darkling wanted a Healer to be nearby, there was a big change that somebody might get hurt. Somebody? Be realistic, Alina. Its gonna be you.

"Listen, girl" said Baghra. "Put all you strength in it, but don't just block him. You have to attack."

The Darkling stopped some distance in front of me. I saw that everybody who was outside forgot whatever they were doing and was looking at us.

"Ladies first" the Darkling said with a smile.

I concentrated and a ray of light shot in the direction of the Darkling. For a moment I thought it would hit him, but he raised his hand and the light stopped, hitting the dark smoke that was coming from his hand. And then I felt that he was pushing me back. I tried to resist, but it was impossible. The cloud of darkness was moving towards me. Just when I thought everything was over, Baghra voice said in my head "You have to attack". I gathered all my strength and my light shone brighter than ever.

The black cloud stopped and I breathed a sigh of relief. Then I heard the rumbling noise and the darkness surrounded me. It went through me and I screamed. I knew that my eyes were open, but everything was black. The pain was tearing me apart. I could feel it in every cell of my body. I was dying.

"Alina!" somebody shouted.

I felt a warm hand on my forehead and the pain began to disappear, but the darkness was still there.

"I stopped her pain, but she must push the darkness out of her body!" said another voice.

"Alina, did you hear that?" I heard the Darkling's voice. Why he was so far away? "Come on, I know you can do it. Fight it."

Fight? The darkness was telling me to relax, to give up. I knew that if I did it, there wouldn't be any problems. I would be happy and safe. But something very wrong was about that happiness. It was too quiet.

I concentrated and summoned the light.

Suddenly I could see again. I was lying on the grass surrounded by people.

Once the Healer removed his hand from my forehead, the Darkling asked me, "Do you feel any pain?"

"No. I'm fine" I said and tried to sit down. This movement made me dizzy and I would have fallen back on the grass, had the Darkling not supported me.

I saw two Healers approaching us with the stretcher. He lifted me carefully into it and stood up.

"I don't want to go to the infirmary" I said grabbing his hand. "Please."

"Fine" he looked at the Healers. "Take her to the room."

I stayed the whole day in my bed. Healers came to see me so many times, that I lost count. I didn't even bother to lock the door. They gave me to drink something sour, touched my head and brought me food. At some point I drifted into sleep.

When I woke up the room was dark. I went to look outside of the window and saw a couple of Grishas coming back from the banya. It was late and I had to sleep, but I felt perfect and full of energy. So I decided to take a look at the book the Apparat gave me. I was finishing the chapter about Sankt Petyr, when I heard the knock on the door.

"Oh please, not again." I said annoyed. I didn't need more healers. "Come in."

The door opened and I saw the Darkling. "Did I come at the wrong time?" he said. He must have heard me.

"No! Sorry, I thought it was the Healer again" I blushed.

He entered and closed the door behind him. Suddenly I felt very embarrassed. I was sitting in my bed, alone with the Darkling in the barely lit room and the only thing that I was wearing was my cotton nightgown.

"How do you feel, Alina?" he asked.

"Much better."

He came closer and looked at the bed "May I?"

I nodded and he sat on the edge.

"The Lives of Saints?" he raised an eyebrow.

"The Apparat gave it to me." I moved the book away from my lap.

"I'm sorry for what happened today" he began and I saw regret in his eyes.

"No, you shouldn't be" I looked down. "You expected me to be stronger. But the reality is different. You probably didn't even use half of your power, right?"

"Right. I didn't" he admitted.

"Did it ever occur to you that I might be one of your rare mistakes and you are just wasting you time on me?"

He laughed, but his expression turned serious as he said, "Alina, all Grishas come here when they are five or six years old. They have a lot of time to practice, to understand their power. You, on the other hand, have been building barriers between your power and yourself."

"I know, but I have now idea how to remove them" I sighed.

"Don't be afraid of your power. Accept who you are" he said. "You are the most powerful Grisha I ever met. You even managed to hide your power when you were tested."

I laughed and looked at him. "Sometimes I wish I didn't do it."

"Well, it depends how you look at it" he said. There was something in his eyes I couldn't read. "But I think it was meant to be that way."

"What about the stag? You told me the other day that your men almost found it." As I said it, I remembered what he was doing while telling me that. I felt a blush creeping onto my cheeks.

"Yes, but then the stag crossed the border with Fjerda again. It's to dangerous to look for it in the enemy's territory" he said and touched my cheek. "I guess we just have to wait."

I wanted to kiss him so badly, but I was too scared to make the first move. He must have seen it in my eyes, because the next second he was kissing me. I wrapped my hands around his neck, and pushed him closer. His power rushed through me and I knew I was lost.

I fell back on the bed dragging him with me. He kissed my face, my neck and then moved to my collarbone. He removed my blanket and traced my torso with his hand, making my body shiver.

"Alina," he whispered in my ear "if we don't stop now, I won't be able to stop."

"Then don't stop" I said quietly and looked him in the eyes.

Mentally I said goodbye to the innocent girl I was.