The Return

Disclaimer: All belongs to Tolkien except for my characters Roslyn and Maethor – they are my own creations and are not meant to resemble anyone else's OCs in any way.

A/N: Thank you so much for your support and your patience everyone! Sorry this took so long.

Chapter 11: Truths

Roslyn wiped at her cheeks before taking in a calming breath.

Fuck him. You don't need him. You're stronger than this.

She pushed herself up off the ground and walked into the bathroom to wash her face. She stared at herself in the mirror.

You are strong. And if you want to keep this baby, you should. And if you don't, then don't. You can do this.

Feeling empowered by her own pep talk, she walked out into the hall to find Thranduil. It did not take her long, for he was coming for her as well. They met in the hallway, neither one saying anything for a beat. Thranduil opened his mouth to speak, but Roslyn silenced him with her hand.

"I need to say something."

"Alright."

"This," she motioned between them, "this isn't working for me anymore."

She paused for a moment as a look of shock came over his face.

"I know we never made any promises to each other, but I just can't do this, whatever it is that we're doing. I'm not happy and it's just not enough."

"So this is how you feel?"

"Yes."

"What happened? What is it that changed from this morning?"

"I guess I was finally honest with myself."

He stared at her wordlessly.

"You know, we started out with a strictly professional relationship. We should just go back to that. I mean, that is why I'm here after all. And who knows how much time I have left in Middle Earth anyway? My boss is getting impatient."

His face hardened as she talked. A swirl of emotions filled his chest as he struggled to find the right words.

"Well, if that is what you truly want…"

"It is."

"Then so be it. I have some other things to attend to. Good day my lady."

He gave her a curt nod and brushed past her. Roslyn swallowed, trying to calm her nerves.

You did it.

She looked over her shoulder and watched Thranduil's retreating form. He did not turn back around.

…

Thranduil sat brooding in his study. His gaze was trained on the fire, but he did not see it. The door opened slowly as Maethor entered. He walked over to the desk and poured himself some strong mead before joining his friend.

"I guess it didn't go so well?"

"She ended things."

"You told her you loved her and she called it off?!"

"No."

"Wait, what? Now I'm confused."

"I didn't tell her."

"What?!"

"I didn't have the chance to. Before I could open my mouth she told me she wasn't happy with me. That she wanted things to go back to being business-like and cordial between us. It is over. She does not want me."

Maethor thought over this for a few minutes.

"So that's it? After everything, you're just going to let her go that easily? You're not even going to fight for her?"

"I told you, I don't make her happy. And I want her to be happy."

…

Roslyn cocked her head to the side as she examined herself in the mirror. Despite what had happened two weeks prior, Thranduil had not disappointed her with the dress. It was exquisite. The almost sheer skirt was embroidered in beautiful rose gold beads that rose up to fill the bodice in an almost tree branch pattern.

The day of Tauriel and Maethor's binding had finally arrived. Although she felt happy for her friend, something was still not sitting well with her. Her fingers brushed over her stomach as her eyes glazed over in thought. Although she hated to admit it, she missed him. Her hand subconsciously went to the jewel around her neck. Her heart still ached as she thought about what she really missed most. It wasn't the sex – although that was sorely lacking now. It was simply him – his company, his conversation, his embrace. She shook her head to clear her thoughts before making her way down to the ceremony.

…

She sat in the front row near the aisle and watched the lovely and touching ceremony. The space was filled with white and silver decorations, candles burning everywhere. The look was soft and intimate, like an otherworldly winter paradise. Tauriel was stunning in her dress – ethereal even. The soft silvery skirt was met with a diamond and crystal beaded bodice. Not even the sheer sleeves lacked sparkle. She grinned as she noticed the glimmer of tears in Tauriel's eyes as the binding magic was performed.

Roslyn closed her eyes for a moment as she sensed the undeniable feeling of eyes boring into her. Slowly, she turned her head to the right. Thranduil sat directly across from her. Their eyes locked. She shivered at the serious and intense look on his face. Something was simmering under the surface, she could see it in his steel eyes.

…

Thranduil watched her intently, completely enchanted by the image she portrayed in the dress. He had given her space for two weeks, thinking it would make things easier. But he could not keep doing this. He wanted her, he needed her, and he would be damned if he didn't make Roslyn his. Sitting there and watching Maethor bind himself to another only increased his feeling of urgency.

That should be us.

…

Everyone was dancing and celebrating as the wine flowed freely. Roslyn found her way to Tauriel through the crowd.

"Congratulations!"

"Roslyn! Thank you so much! I just can't believe we finally did it. I'm so happy!"

Roslyn laughed at her friend.

"I can see that! The ceremony was beautiful. And Maethor looked over the moon standing there with you."

Tauriel grinned, "How are you?"

"I'm fine. I promise. Don't worry about me, it's all about you two today."

"Listen…I need to tell you something."

Tauriel grabbed her hand gently and led her aside so they could speak quietly.

"What is it?"

Tauriel licked her lips nervously, "It's about Thranduil."

Roslyn waited patiently for her to continue.

"So, Maethor told me about that conversation…the one you said you'd overheard."

"Ok?"

"He said that after some poking and prodding, Thranduil finally broke down and admitted that he was an idiot and that he loved you."

Roslyn stared at the elleth blankly for a minute.

"Is this some sort of joke? I don't believe you."

"Roslyn, you know I would never do something like that to you. I'm completely serious. He told Maethor he loved you."

She shook her head, "It doesn't matter. He didn't say anything when I broke things off. He didn't try to fight for us. He just let me do it. He doesn't love me. I don't know why you're telling me this now."

"Please don't be upset with me. I just thought you should know…before you did something you'd regret."

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. I'm going to go enjoy the celebration. Don't be mad at me."

Roslyn took in a breath before hugging her friend.

"I'm not mad at you."

"Good."

"Go and have fun."

"I will! And you should do the same!"

…

(Pray to God – Calvin Harris feat HAIM)

Her eyes scanned the room, everyone was so happy – everyone but her. She watched as Maethor twirled Tauriel around the room and an unwelcome surge of jealousy arose. Turning away, Roslyn left for the lookout. She had discovered this place in one of her random wanderings and it had become another favorite hideout. It was a room, if you could call it that, with a large boulder that jutted out from the side of the mountain. Standing on the edge, one could look out over the entire forest.

She walked out onto the ledge now, watching the sun as it set over the trees. The reds and oranges of the evening sun seemed to set everything on fire. Somewhere in the distance she could just make out the lonely mountain. She hated herself for it, but a part of her wanted Tauriel's words to be true.

A soft rustling caught her attention and she whirled around. Thranduil stood there watching her. Roslyn felt her heart skip a beat as she observed his stormy eyes scan over her body. In two strides he was upon her. His arms encircled her waist as he pulled her against him. Their lips crashed against each other.

He kissed her urgently, feeling as if his heart might burst. Despite her better judgment, she pressed herself up against him as butterflies filled her stomach. They clung to each other desperately as they continued to kiss. His fingers finally found their way to the back of her dress, trying to undo the buttons.

What the hell are you doing?!

Roslyn shoved at him roughly as she finally came to her senses.

"What the hell was that?!"

Thranduil stepped back, panting. A confused look marred his face as he tried to figure out if he was actually supposed to answer her.

"This has got to stop! You can't keep playing with me like this. Don't you respect me at all?!"

"What the hell are you going on about?! Of course I do!"

"Then cut it out! Stop coming up and randomly kissing me! I already told you, I don't want to do this anymore. It's over."

"Well maybe I don't want it to be over!" he growled back.

"I don't care what you want!" she was yelling now, all of her stress and frustration finally finding an outlet.

"Well that's quite obvious!"

"Oh come off it! You're just mad because this is the first time your royal highness doesn't get to have what he wants!"

She panted as a slightly dizzy feeling came over her. His features contorted as he tried to rein in his anger.

"You…have ruined me!" he ground out through his teeth.

"Well isn't that a…wonderful…sentiment."

A confused look fluttered over her face as her hand flew to her forehead. She felt so dizzy and lightheaded.

"Roslyn?"

She vaguely made out the worried tone to his voice before everything went black. Thranduil grabbed her and pulled her against him as she slumped. Picking her up, he carried her as quickly as possible to the healers.

…

Her eyelids felt heavy, like lead had been poured into them. She struggled but finally managed to crack them open. She recognized the ceiling immediately.

Oh no. The healing halls.

She turned her head to the left. Thranduil sat reclined in the chair beside her bed. She searched his face and found the handful of emotions that she never thought she'd see from him – pain, sadness, hurt.

He knows.

She let out a breath, unsure of what to say to him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked her softly.

She looked back up at the ceiling, trying to find the words.

"Because I wasn't sure there would be anything to tell."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Roslyn clenched her jaw, not wanting to spell it out for him. The healer walked in then, saving her from having to answer.

"Well, I have some good news. The baby is just fine. And so are you. A bit dehydrated though. Have you been eating well? Drinking enough water?"

"No. She hasn't."

Roslyn glared at him.

"How would you know?!"

"I've seen you in the dining halls. You haven't been eating at all!" he glared back.

"That's because every time I eat, I get sick! Or have you forgotten that little bit?"

She turned back to the healer, "I can't keep anything down. My morning sickness is more like all day sickness."

"Well, if you had come in sooner I could have given you a potion for that," she said crossly.

Roslyn turned her face away from the smug look Thranduil was giving her.

"How far along is she?"

"About five weeks."

Roslyn caught the small smile that tugged at the corner of his lips. The healer walked out and came back only a moment later. She handed Roslyn a small bottle.

"Here, one sip before each meal and you'll be fine."

She watched her expectantly.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Drink! You're not leaving here before you've had something to eat."

Roslyn complied as the healer exited to fetch some food. She came back with a tray, setting it in her lap before finally leaving the two alone again. He let her eat in silence for a while.

(Existentialism On Prom Night – Straylight Run)

"You should move back into my chambers."

"Why?"

"Because you clearly can't take care of yourself."

Roslyn rolled her eyes at him and kept eating.

"I won't have you abusing yourself like that while you're carrying my child."

"Who said it's yours?"

Thranduil arched an eyebrow at her as his hands gripped the armrests on his chair.

Roslyn looked at him sideways, "I'm just kidding. Calm down. Of course it's yours."

"That is not funny."

"Yeah, yeah. Just trying to lighten the mood. Anyway… I didn't tell you because I'm not sure I'm keeping it."

"Excuse me?"

"Don't make me repeat it."

He felt a panic well up inside his chest at her words. The thought that she wouldn't want to keep the baby never even crossed his mind.

"How can you say that?"

"How can you want to bring a child into this completely dysfunctional relationship that we have?"

"Don't be dramatic. Things aren't that bad between us…what if I want you to keep the baby?"

She stayed silent, unable to meet his eye.

"Ah yes. How could I forget? You don't care what I want."

"Look, it's my body. Not yours. I get to decide what happens to it. And besides, it's not like I'm staying here. So what are you going to do? Come visit me and the baby every few months in my world? How well would that work out?! This is just easier. We both get a clean break."

"A clean break? It that what you call it?"

She finally looked at him, her heart breaking at his expression.

"How can you do this?" he whispered, "Do I really matter that little to you? How I feel really plays no part in your decision?"

Roslyn felt tongue-tied. He was so convincing, she had to keep reminding herself of what she'd heard him say to Maethor.

"Leave the baby with me. If you want to go back to your world and be free of us, then so be it. But leave the baby with me," he pleaded.

Roslyn felt even more confused as a torrent of emotions ran through her. She desperately wanted to be alone to think.

"No. No! I already told you…I don't want a baby! I'm not ready to be a mother! And there's no way I could do that. I couldn't have a baby and then just leave it. And besides, my body will be ruined! You don't have to go through the struggle of carrying the child and then the pains of giving birth. You get to have all the fun and none of the horrors. It's my life, and my body, and I don't want to do it!"

She felt the tears start to stream down her face as she yelled at him. In truth, she wasn't sure if she believed what she was saying. But she was so confused and scared about everything that all she could do was lash out. Thranduil stood slowly, his eyes trained on the bed.

Roslyn felt horrible as she watched him. His shoulders slumped slightly and he refused to look at her. If she didn't know any better, she'd say it was the look of defeat.

"Well, it seems like you've already made your decision," he swallowed hard.

His eyes finally lifted and met hers.

"And I will respect that," he told her softly.

Roslyn opened her mouth to say something, but nothing would come out. He straightened his back and walked out of the room swiftly, finally leaving her to her tortured thoughts.

A/N: For those interested, Roslyn's dress is look 22 in the Elie Saab Fall 2014 Couture collection and Tauriel's is from the Elie Saab Autum/Winter 2013 Couture collection (I couldn't find the look number, sorry).

Anyhoo…what'd you all think?! Reviews please! I need some motivation right now lol :D