Hey guys I'm redoing the Fox and the Vampire. I think I did a bad job with that story. The chapters were short and weren't well written. So this is my redo tell me what you think.
Naruto's pov
Here I was, standing on the first hokage's head looking across the valley at Sasuke Uchiha. He was on top of the head of Madara Uchiha,with his curse mark level two active. I on the other hand was in my one tailed chakra cloak talking to Kurama. Yeah you heard me. I am friends with the nine tailed fox. To be honest he was my best friend. That's when it happened. Sasuke charged a black chidori ready to kill. I prepared my rasengan to counter. He jumped and I followed his lead. His black lightning covered hand clashed with my cloak covered chakra orb. We both pushed with everything we had both of us wanting to win. A gigantic black orb of energy surrounded us due to the power our attacks were producing. This is where the tale gets interesting. As our attacks exploded against one another Sasuke was thrown across the valley colliding with the cliff I was thrown into a vortex never seeing the Elemental Nations again.
In the portal…
" Kit, the portal is going to tear you apart," Kurama told me.
" So this is it huh? " I replied.
" No. I'm going to make sure you get to the end and see the world you're going to. "
" How? "
" I'm going to flood your system with all of my chakra turning you into the next kyuubi, But there will be a few side effects. "
" Like what Kurama. "
" Well kit you're going to have fox ears and nine tails, along with slightly enlarged fangs and slitted pupils. "
" Ok. Is that it? "
" No kit you will also be immortal with all of my power. "
" If I have all of your power what will happen to you? "
" I'm glad I knew you kit. "
" Kurama? "
I was listening for the reply, but I never got one as my body was flooded with his chakra and soon enough our chakra merged and everything went black. I was transforming into the new kyuubi.
Third person pov
As he traveled through the portal his physical traits were altered. Gold and white tipped fox ears grew on his head as nine gold and white fox tails began to grow also. His already defined muscles began to grow a little bigger and became even more defined. He grew taller and older. His blond spikes grew longer. It stopped at his eyes with a bang going down his nose. ( To see use this link = ) Then the portal came to an end and he was falling to the earth.
Alice's pov
I was sitting with my family and true love or thats what I thought at least. Then it hit me. A vision. I pictured a blond teen with nine golden white tipped fox tails and a set of matching ears falling from the sky where we had just defeated all of the newborns. I could tell he was muscular due to him being shirtless. But what interested me the most was the fangs you could see slightly poking out from his upper lip, but they weren't like ours. I stood up and looked at my family.
" We need to go back to the battlegrounds, " I told them.
" Why alice? " asked Jasper
" No time to explain, " I said as I took off.
I got there in no time my family not very far behind. I looked up to see something I never expected to see. In the sky there was a black void growing bigger and bigger until the boy in my vision popped out then it was gone. He was falling straight towards where I was like he was meant to meet me. It wasn't long before he landed in my arms unconscious. It seemed he wouldn't be waking up anytime soon, so I decided to take him home.
Two days later…
It had been to days since the fox boy had arrived and he just wouldn't wake up. Carlisle said was a possibility that the portal put him into a short coma. I really just wanted him to wake up so I could introduce myself and see how and why he ended up here.
" Uhh, " the boy groaned.
" It's happening! " I said excitedly to nobody in particular.
I was standing over him eager to see the color of his eyes which were a mystery. His eyes snapped open and I saw his beautiful crimson orbs with cat like pupils.
Naruto's pov
I opened my eyes to see the most amazing looking women I had ever seen. She had dark brown shoulder length hair, glowing golden eyes. She seemed very pixie like. She was absolutely stunning.
" I must've died and gone to heaven because I'm looking at an angel, " I said as she giggled.
" You haven't died and I'm certainly no angel, " She told me with a dazzling smile.
" Well you sure look like one, "
" Thank you. I'm Alice Cullen. It's a pleasure to meet you? "
" Naruto. My name is naruto and the pleasure is all mine. "
" Well Naruto would you like to tell me why you came out of a portal in the sky? "
" Sure. "
And so that's what I happened. Instead of telling her just how I had gotten there I ended up telling her my life story. Every detail from all of the beatings and being kicked out of stores to starting at the academy. I told her about participating in the chunin exams and trying to bring back Sasuke. I even told about kurama and what I had become expecting her to hate me like everyone else, but I just couldn't keep it from her.
" If you hate me now I understand, " I told her.
" Why would I hate you Naruto?" She asked me.
" For being a demon of course. "
" Naruto I should probably tell you something. "
" What is it? "
" I'm a vampire. "
She then told me her life story all the ups and downs, being changed, and meeting Jasper. I was disappointed when I heard about Jasper, but I should've assumed that a girl like her would have someone. I listened to every detail wanting learn everything I could about her. Soon Enough her story was finished she stood up and threw me some clothes saying,
" We'll buy you some more later. When you're finished getting dressed come down and meet everyone. "
So I got dressed in the grey sweat pants and white v-neck she had thrown me. Then opened the door and tried to make my way downstairs.
So the story begins. Sorry I've been gone If you guys and girls have been wanting me to update. If not well I'm back and I would like to know what you guys think. Is it better than the first try or do I still have a lot of work to do?