SING ME TO SLEEP
My dear Elena,
You remember that day? We were really, really young then. I don't quite remember what our age was, but our promise was rather a heavy one! We had promised that we will be there for each other, whatever the situation may be. We had promised to get each other's back every time it's required, no matter what. We had promised each other 'FOREVER', before the meaning of this simple word changed for us…forever….
I can't say that we have been able to keep our promises all along this time. I can't say that we had been there for each other every time. But whatever the situation may be…there was no way out Elena. We have always come back to each other in the end.
Though Caro was always there for me, yeah I honestly can't ignore her contribution in my life as a best friend, you and me-we always had something special. Because somehow, we managed to be something more than best friends…we became sisters. Sisters, who will never back up from sacrificing own life for the other. Sisters who are willing to do anything and everything possible if that means the other one are okay.
I can still remember that day…the morning I woke up and found that my mom has left. It was more of confusion than a shock for a mere three year old girl. At first it was hard for me to even realize what it means by "Mom has left!" But as time passed, days and weeks were gone, but I never saw my mom again…I suddenly felt how lonely I was in this huge crowd. At that moment you were the closest thing I had besides Grams. You held me so tight in your arms and let me cry on your shoulder for hours…I felt safe, yeah safe, for the first time in the past weeks. And I do remember that you promised to hold me this way every time I feel like breaking, vulnerable. I want you to know that you have kept your promise. I know that at times I have felt being used and blamed you for that. I am sorry for that time. Yeah I am sure you had got tangled in your own life so much that you couldn't really get to me when I thought you would. But honestly 'Lena, I don't believe you did this because you meant to do it. You can't do that to me…right?
I don't really remember an incident where I ate something good but didn't share with you! You know my favourite dishes by heart! And though you suck at cooking (don't get angry Elena…you know that you can't even boil water without burning it!) you have never stopped yourself from making me breakfast, whenever you thought it would be helpful. I might not be able to eat the food every time but your caring gesture always meant special to me…specially after Grams died…a little bit show of care and love from anybody meant special to me…I am sorry for blaming you that time, it wasn't your fault…it was my bad luck...
Sorry…I guess I was blabbering like crazy…
Elena…you do remember our childhood right? Such crazy days! You, me, Caro, Matt…and sometimes even Tyler! Though he used to be a total dick at that time…! We had lots of girl times and bunch of stories of your suitors and Caro's crushes! For god's sake sometimes I got terribly sick of your damn romantic attitude but…it…it was fun, trust me! I miss those days…pure innocence, incredible enjoyment, no running for life…any losing loved ones…nothing….
You remember the day I told you that I am a witch?! You were extreme surprised….I know it was hard for you to believe such a crazy thing but then…bingo! I showed you that levitation spell with white feathers…it was so beautiful….you were happy, surprised, speechless and what not? It's one of the best moments and memories of my life Elena.
Our sleepovers….oh god! Is it ever possible to forget those nights? From Chocó chips to scotch, Ryan Reynolds to Di caprio…and what not? Each and every existing and non-existing matter was the topic of our gossip! Hey! I almost forgot! You remember our wedding plans? Don't you dare say Elena Gilbert that these immortal Salvatore brothers have vacuumed your mind of ever getting married! Those dress designs, flower colour, ring girl and Maid of Honour...everything was perfectly planned...our life was perfectly planned...
No...Today I won't blame Damon or Stefan for everything that happened with me, in my town, in my life... because I know now that even if they hadn't come back ever, my life would have been a wreck still. Because I am Bennett witch...the most powerful...the shortest lived...there are consequences of being a Bennett witch, one can't go past them...
It was not easy to be a Bennett witch trust me. I could not run from my responsibilities...I could not say "no" to anyone who needed my help. Even after everything what Damon did to me, I still wanted to save him...save my town...keep you safe. Because I promised I won't let anything happen to you. I have tried my best...don't know how much I could have done sis...But what I am today, one of the most powerful witches, the anchor...all these pressure...I could handle everything because I had you beside me! You, Caro, Stefan...even Damon had helped me so much with accepting my powers, relishing them, living them and creating more of them...I could be 'Bonnie Bennett' because of all of your helps and supports! Thank you so much 'Lena!
But today I am apologising to you. I am sorry Elena...I am so sorry...I wanted to send Damon back to you...I tried too...but...It was late, too late. I am sorry...even after promising you a happy and peaceful life I couldn't end it properly...I couldn't give you back your love...please forgive me Elena...
You know, that I, of all people, would be the happiest if I could get reed of Damon 'fu**ing' Salvatore in this journey to oblivion...but somehow, yeah somehow I do feel happy to have Damon with me...at least I won't be alone there, wherever I am going...at least I will have one familiar face to look at, how much annoying that face may be...somehow I am relieved that it's Damon who will be with me! Guess...I trust him somewhat these days...
Grams has said me that I will find 'peace'. I don't know what kind of thing that will be...what she wanted to mean by peace...but whatever it is, it has to be what is best for me. Because Grams said so...so don't be sad for me Elena. I promise you I will be happy wherever I am. It's hard to leave all of you...trust me...it's so hard that I feel my heart wrecking. But it's the only way. I am so glad that I could help all the other people come back, including Stefan. Wish, I could send Damon back too, but...I am sorry Elena, I tried...
But I promise you, if I really find 'peace' there, I will ensure that Damon finds his too. I promise you that how much a freak and an ass he might be...I will make sure that he finds happiness too ...I will try my best...but for that you have to promise that you will be happy too...I know that you have got to live eternity, without Damon may be...but there will be Caro and Stefan and Matt too...Alaric will be there to take care of you...just try to be happy...if you are happy, we will be happy too...
Take care of everyone...Jeremy too...and if possible...just try to not forget me. That's all I do expect...all I wish for...
Once again sorry for not being able to send Damon back...I will try to find some way there to send him back, I promise...
Love you a lot sweetie...take care...
-yours 'FOREVER'
Bonnie