Bonds: Chapter 6
A/N: unbeta'd
Spoilerific warning: Includes a sex scene, with a touch of voyeurism, but not much.
Lots of information in here. I hope it makes sense. My midget hasn't been letting me think. Do all four year olds talk and bounce that much?
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In the search for a comfortable place to strengthen their link, Rose was led to the Doctors' room. Once inside, he instructed her to sit down in the middle of the bed. She kicked off her shoes and sat down, legs crossed and waited for him. He shucked his shoes and sat down in front of her, legs also crossed. Their knees were just about touching each other.
Despite the intimate setting, Rose could tell that the Doctor looked like he was in lecture mode. He was even wearing the spectacles. Of course this Doctor wore his glasses most of the time, as he actually needed them on close up things. But that wasn't the point.
"Okay, before we get into this, I need to give you more information on the bonds. There are several types of telepathic bonds," the Doctor began. "As you know, we have the lightest link that can be made between us, that of the student and teacher. It's the most transcendental. There are also different types of familial bonds, but we're not concerned about them. Then there's what we're about to do. There's three different types of bonds between couples. Two lesser mating bonds, and an unbreakable marriage bond."
"And one of the lesser bonds is what you said ours is wanting to change into?" Rose asked. She had been listening in rapt attention. Some of this information had been told to her before, but a lot of it was new.
"Yes, the lighter of the two. It's like the equivalent of, um, seriously dating, well, maybe engagement in human terms," the Doctor told her. "Usually, that bond allows two people to easily send words and thoughts across a shorter distance, usually only across a city at the furthest. It's enough for most things, and you have to deliberately send."
"But we already have that, and at a much greater distance," Rose observed.
"Yes, we do, a bit more actually, we can send images and feelings too. I think that's part of the reason that our link's wanting to change," the Doctor agreed. "But most of that is because of you. You're not a touch telepath."
"Oh, okay. Let me make sure I heard that right," Rose said with a 'hold on a minute' gesture. "Because I'm not a touch telepath, we're able to do things you wouldn't normally be able to do?" Rose asked.
"Got it," he affirmed, then continued his lecture. "The other courtship or mating type bond is what you and he have. It's the type of bond that most married couples on Gallifrey had. This link between two people is very strong, and it has a settling stage where when the two people touch, they have a strong desire to connect even deeper. Which you've noticed," he finished sheepishly.
"I might have done, yeah," Rose joked. She felt light at the knowledge that what she had was deep for his people and the Time Lord seemed to be perfectly fine with it. The fact that this Doctor wanted to deliberately do this with her made her even happier.
"That desire was used to forge attachment between two people who were politically or genetically together. That link's supposed to work like our current one is working now, but you know how it's working with the two of you."
Rose nodded. Then a thought hit her and she asked, "politically or genetically together?"
"Most marriages were arranged," the Doctor told her, a little nervously.
"Oh, so it's like some rich people used to do on Earth." Rose then decided that the Doctor was too fidgety on this subject and was it best left for now. She turned the conversation back to the bonds.
"So, what's the unbreakable bond?" Rose asked curiously. Rose thought he looked stunned for a second, but his demeanor changed again and she was sure that she had been imagining it.
"Soul bound," the Doctor said. "That's what we always called it. It, um, is a lot like what you have with him," he said, jerking his thumb toward the open door to indicate the full Galifreyan, "but more, a lot more. Also, you can still feel one another when you're in different time zones or even communicate across the galaxies with some difficulty. It was very rare that people would choose to go with that." When he was finished, he tugged at his ear nervously.
"Wow," Rose whispered in awe. That would be wonderful, to be able to talk at that distance, and know everyone was alright even in different times.
"No," the Doctor suddenly told her.
"No, what?" Rose asked.
"I don't need telepathy to know that you're thinking about going that far," the Doctor told her, a little sternly.
"Yeah, I am," Rose said. "I'd do it."
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The Doctor sat knee to knee with Rose on the bed and gave her an overview of the different types of bonds and how they worked. He had planned to barely touch the topic of the strongest telepathic link, but Rose didn't flinch when he told her that the link she shared with his other self and planned to share with him was mostly used in marriage. That was quickly followed by a direct question about the topic he had hoped to gloss over. The combination had him spilling everything.
When he was finished, he knew what she was thinking from the look on her face. She was actually considering that. He was pretty sure that he told her about the unbreakable part.
"I'd do it," she told him, looking him right in the eyes.
Suddenly, he didn't know if he wanted to pin her to the bed and have his way with her, or run and keep running.
"I can't," he whispered, fighting the urge to run.
Why not?" Rose asked him softly after a moment. He could see the sorrow in her eyes.
"I did tell you that it couldn't be reversed, right? We'd be bound to each other always," he told her, imploring her to understand what he wasn't telling her.
"Yeah, I'm not seeing a problem here," she said. Then her expression changed. "Unless you wouldn't-"
"No, no!" he interrupted her quickly. "Don't think that." He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her deeply, opening himself up so that she could feel every one of his emotions. His love, his fear, all of it.
Before it could go any further, he pulled back and put his forehead against hers. "I will always love you, my Rose." Before she could say reply, he gave her another quick kiss, then straightened up and took her hands.
"The only way to break that bond is if one of the people involved in it dies," he told her softly.
Rose nodded her head and swallowed. "I thought as much," Rose replied. "It's still worth it to me, just so you know." She smiled sadly and squeezed his hand in reassurance.
He was touched, but there was still more. "The bond's break is agony for the person still alive. The death of a loved one is hard enough, but the telepathic break is said to be excruciating, both physically and mentally."
Rose's smile had dropped from her face, followed by her gaze. He could see her thinking about it. After 5.2 seconds, she looked back up at him.
"Still worth it," she sniffed.
"We'd be able to see everything the other person has ever done, nothing would be hidden," he told her.
When he saw that she was still wavering, he was astonished. She'd be willing to go through agony and to bare her soul for a deeper connection to him? He wasn't worth that.
He decided to go ahead and add the last point. "People have been known to lose their minds when their bond-mate dies, Rose. Some have even followed them into death. That's why I will never forge that kind of link with someone, well, with anyone. Because the repercussions outweigh the benefits."
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Rose was willing to go through pain for the strongest link if he wanted it. She was willing to let him see everything, all the things she had needed to do after they had been split up, and even everything she didn't want him to see. She knew she'd see who he had become in the War, who he had been before, and what he had done after the evens of Canary Wharf.
Then he told her about what would happen when one person inevitably outlived the other. She agreed, that was too much.
She got up on her knees and wrapped her arms around the Doctor's neck. It didn't take much before she was in his lap, holding on to him with her face buried in his neck. His arms were wrapped around her, holding her tightly.
The conversation had become a painful reminder that the man holding her would most likely die long before her. It was something she thought of almost every day. It drove her to spend as much time with him as possible, to make as many wonderful memories as she could.
She still couldn't quite picture the centuries ahead of her, but she did know that she wouldn't push everyone away like the Doctor had before. Maybe her stance would change in a few centuries, but she hoped not.
The two of them sat there for a while, she didn't know how long, in silence. They lightly rocked, and she didn't know who started that, but it felt good.
"Not tonight," the Doctor whispered, breaking the comfortable silence.
She didn't need to ask what he was talking about, she already knew. They wouldn't strengthen their link with one another, not that night. She pulled back and met his eyes, nodding her understanding.
He leaned down, brushing his lips lightly with hers. Their kiss remained softer this time, more loving, not as deep. One of her hands found its way under his jacket, and she felt one of his hands push up the back of her shirt and rub her skin there.
After a moment, his hand had made it's way up to the band of her bra and he was trying to undo it with one hand, but a couple of the hooks slid right back into the loop. She pushed off his jacket. They removed clothes from each other slowly, one piece at a time, exploring one another's bodies as they were exposed.
They'd never been together quite like this before. Sex with the part human Doctor was usually a bit wilder, a hormone ridden affair. They'd go at it like a pair of teenagers.
This time wasn't sex, though, this could only be called making love.
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The Doctor walked through the hallway towards the room he shared with his sort of twin. His twin had sent him a notice that they were going to be strengthening their bond with one another. He wanted to be there. When his bond with Rose had been forged, the two of them had passed out. It wasn't really dangerous, but anything that rendered a person unconscious should be watched over.
He had given them some time to have the conversation that he should have already had with Rose. Yet another thing he had neglected. With his mind full of self depreciating thoughts, he went to the door that had been left open and stepped inside.
Just inside the door, he stopped short. They had started without him.
On the bed, his other self and Rose were tangled up in one another. Both of them were completely naked, and were slowly rocking. They both stared in one another's eyes. This was different to how they usually were when he walked in on them.
Walk away before you are noticed, or join in next time. His other self had said the first time he had walked in on them.
More often than not, he'd join in, but this time, it felt like they should be left alone. He'd have walked back out, but if they were strengthening their link, he really should be there.
The other Doctor threw his head back and groaned, his eyes closed in ecstasy. When he opened them, the part human turned his head and looked him right in the eyes.
He then knew that they weren't going to be doing the bond that night, so he nodded to his other self, and stepped back out of the room, giving the two part humans their moment.