The Melancholy of Balalaika: The Babysitter
"Emergency numbers are on our billboard next to phone." Balalaika elaborated hurriedly as she carried her handbag and her luggage out the door. "There's food in the microwave and enough food are stocked in the fridge and the pantry.
"C'mon darling." Chang called out from outside the house. He was struggling with the extra baggage as he was heaving them into the family sedan. After giving himself a sigh of relief he honked the car's horn. "We're gonna be late. I don't want to get stuck on traffic any more than you do so lets go."
"Coming!" Balalaika called. "Just one more thing!"
"The babysitter is running a little late but said that she'd arrive in a while" Balalaika said to the twins. "Treat her nice for me and please behave yourselves while we're gone."
"Don't worry about it mother." Hansel said. "We know how to handle our guests well."
"We'll listen to all she says and stick to our curfew." Gretel said. "We'll be good angels."
With a bright but wry smile, Balalaika gave each twin a kiss on the forehead. The smile quickly turned dark as she looked at the twins an inch away and her eyes dug into them.
"I hear one peep from her, or hear from the neighbors, or the cops," she said in an ominous whisper. "I'll kill you."
Reverting back to her motherly persona, Balalaika gave them another kiss goodbye before making for the door. She gave them one last look with a smile before departing.
"Why do I get the feeling that this isn't gonna end well?" Balalaika mumbled as she made her way to her visibly impatient husband.
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"Who do you think mother is sending over to watch us, brother?" Gretel asked playfully.
"I don't know, sister." Hansel shrugged. Trying hard to hold back a wicked grin. "I do hope that it would be someone fun again… like that blonde girl from last week. What was her name again?"
"Oooh. I remember her. She was the cheerleader girl with the ponytails, yes. Eda was her name was it? We had so much fun with that one."
"Yes it was, sister." Hansel laughed. "Do you remember how we had her do one of her cheers one time?"
"Oh yes, dear brother. That was so entertaining and I am not talking about the sensual dancing. Oh no. But seemed to enjoy it, did you brother?" Gretel added with a teasing tone.
"What can I say? I'm a growing boy." Hansel shrugged with a laugh. "But I enjoyed gluing her Pom-Poms more. And she didn't notice a thing."
"You are a nasty one." Gretel pouted. "Using my insects to lace those tassels of hers! How…cruel of you indeed."
"How about the other one after that?" Hansel inquired after they ceased their fair share of laughter. "Jane was it?"
"Was that the Chinese girl?" Gretel asked. "The one who came to our house the next day and started throwing knives at us for making her fail her English test?"
"HA! I almost forgot about that! She was so naïve to believe everything that comes out of our mouths. But no, sister. That wasn't the one." Hansel corrected her. "Jane was the big chested Indian nerd."
"Oh! Of course. My mistake, dear brother." Gretel replied with enthusiasm. "She was even more enthusiastic in our games than the other. Especially when we took her laptop she was hogging to herself the entire evening."
"Indeed, my dear sister, indeed." Hansel mused. "Do you recall how long she chased us about the house and into the streets? All the while we take turns with tossing it between us just for the heck and for her confusion."
"I remember her screaming like a maniac the entire time while we hacked her computer and sent her embarrassing photos online." Gretel tittered as she recalled. "Though it was sad that the neighbors ended up calling in the police and got her hauled off somewhere. Our fun was cut short."
"She didn't even gave me the satisfaction of catching up with me throughout the chase." Hansel blew boringly on his brow. Looking at Gretel fixedly, he said. "Promise me you won't grow jugs like those, sister."
"I can't make any promises, brother. You HAVE seen mother after all"
"Hmmmm." Hansel shrugged. "Very well."
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Meanwhile, the parents were driving along the highway. Off they went to their holiday to a land far away. Away from the stress and the troubles from home. Such a respite would have been most welcomed by a family of Balalaika and Chang's caliber. The former however could not help but look back.
"Oh I do hope they will be fine while we're gone." Balalaika fretted in her seat. "I always feel like something terrible is bound to happen whenever we leave those 2 alone. I can already hear the fire alarms."
"Don't worry so much over nothing, darling." Chang replied confidently from behind the wheel. "I set up the fire alarm and hooked up the security system just before leaving. If anything pops up, we'll know. Plus there's no need to fret so much. Those two are tough and smart kids. They get it after us after all. And believe me we need this vacation, Laika."
Chang held her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
"Oh believe me I'm not worried one bit over the kids." Balalaika replied haughtily. "I raised them myself after all. No. I'm more worried for the sitter and I know what our darling little children are capable off."
"For your information little lady," Chang pointed out. "But I also kept that in account. I am also those kids' father you know. This one can handle whatever mischief those kids. Might be even in their same caliber."
"So where did you find this new sitter of ours?"
"A buddy of mine who works in the Health and Food Department of the Company suggested her to me. You know him, Laika. We met him in the Company's Dinner party a few weeks ago. He was the one of the caterers there. Serving the red meat and chilly."
"Oh right." Balalaika recalled. "Sawyer, right? He wasn't that good in talking is he? A large man too but I have to say that he kinda scared me because of…you know."
"Yeah. I admit the guy can be a little intimidating cuz of his size but I swear the guy's a gentle giant. He tends to keep to himself at times but is really good and dedicating his work. Especially when it comes to food." Chang said. "I swear, most of the guys even say that he spends his break times alone in the kitchens carving meat like it was a Picasso."
"And you managed to talk to this guy despite all that?" Balalaika said rhetorically.
"What can I say, I'm a people person." Chang said casually.
"And here I am guessing that he's not the man meeting our children now is he?"
"Of course not." Chang chuckled. "He may be good with kids but he isn't in the same caliber as our little tykes. We're having his daughter do it for us."
"And you think she has what it takes to handle our little devils?"
"I guarantee it." Chang tilted down his glasses, revealing his dark eyes. Chang rarely does this but when he did, it was a sure sign that he meant it and was confident that the sitter would be no pushover. "And she's also quite the clean freak too last I heard."
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The twins watched at the passing cars and waited anxiously for their sitter to arrive at their front porch. Already they thought of mischievous pranks and shenanigans their tiny demented minds could imagine. From bombs in the toilet, to roaches blowing out from the vacuum, to rodents popping out of the faucets the twins thought of one demented idea after another. Time flew like fast due to their eagerness that it took them a second to notice a curious vehicle that is coming to their street.
Like their namesakes before them, Hansel and Gretel held their breaths and their eyes glistened in awe as they watched their candy house slowing down in front of their house. Unlike the fairy tale however, it was anything but majestic but the twins were watched it in wonderment.
Their candy house came in a shape of a busted up pick up truck with cracked windows and dirt-rimmed wheels. It coughed out black fumes and fire that looked as though it came right from hell. For our two sick little psychos, this is everything short of a fantasy coming true for them.
When the truck stopped it's trembling and the fumes all but gone, the twins fidgeted for a closer look with eager eyes at their new victim. Their eyes grew wild in alarm as they watched a hulking giant of a man exit the vehicle. He had a mass of greasy hair cluttered around his face. Brown smudges of something were smeared all over his clothes and looked as though he was fresh from the butchers shop.
They watched the hulking man carry out tiny crimson luggage with key chains out from the back of his truck. One could only wonder what their parents were thinking about when they decided to hire a man who could rip them apart at a glance or worse. But this didn't trouble the twins; instead they were getting downright excited at the challenge.
Their smiles quickly faded as they saw another character exit the vehicle. To their disenchantment, it looked like that this pale, skinny and delicate girl was going to be their babysitter. The children sighed in disappointment. It looked as though it was going to be a normal weekend for the children after all. Nonetheless, they put up their best smiles and met their precious new victim to their doorstep.
As the twins met their new sitter face to face their malicious and eager smiles changed to one of extreme curiosity and wonder. Evidently there was something peculiar about this girl as compared to the others they have encountered before. A very peculiar aura of oddity emits from the girl based on her looks alone.
She was a short girl. No more than a few heads taller than the twins with a guess of being no older than her mid 20's. She had a mess of raven black hair that was kept in place by a headband. Her skin was pale beyond comparison. The twins could not guess if it was all just make up or that she bathes in milk and ash but they are sure that she would glow under the bright moonlight. This was matched only by her dark make up on her face and the black gothic attire she wore. It gave her a look of a ghost that haunts people's dreams or better yet, a recently resurrected vampire who has yet given a taste of blood.
There was also this stench of something foul that entered the room the moment the door opened. It was a putrid smell of meat and rotting objects that was enough to make someone gag or run to the bathroom. The twins, who have been exposed to a fair share of decay due to their own sick experiments, simply found this enticing especially since it came from their new sitter.
As what is to be expected for our young psychotic duo, these elements suited them just fine. They saw her as something akin to a fairy in their sick imagination. This weekend turns out will not become a boring affair as they first expected it.
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