Comment: Whoo, I updated! XD… I've been working on another story and whatnot so I haven't been as focused. I won't promise on how often I'll update, but I don't think this story is going to last much longer. Maybe a few more chapters or so then it'll be finished. Or I'll be finished. ( * ~ * )

I can't explain just how I happy I am getting this story put on someone's favorites! Shout out to four new follows! *brain dies from happiness* I thought this story would be ignored by… well, everybody. So thank you to MoonShine24, Alyss-C, Usa-As-In-Bunny, kiondye you guys are amazing! And that one favorite… Oh goodness… I pretty much had a stroke over it. Thank you so much, BoundlessBlood!

Rating: T for the usual teenage things~

Disclaimer: I do not own TWEWY, otherwise there would have been a sequel *glares pointedly at Square Enix* I NEED IT. NOW.

"U-um." I am the first to break the silence of the room. And boy… do I break it. It's like I used a bomb to open a piggy bank. Chaos ensues.

Beat: "OH MY HOLY DEFINITIVO CHILI DOGS, YO!"

Shiki: "I knew it!"

Rhyme: "Oh my."

Me: "G-guys this isn't what it looks like!"

Joshua: "Oh? Are you sure, Nekky?"

"JOSHUA!" I shout, the color on my cheeks brightening even more as Joshua playfully toyed with the hem of my shirt. I swear it was his lifelong - afterlife long goal to embarrass me.

"I DIDN'T KNOW YOU SWUNG THAT WAY, PHONES!" Beat unhelpfully added, the shock still in his voice.

I shoved Joshua off of me, "BEAT, DON'T GET ANY IDEAS!"

"Should we leave?" Rhyme asked Shiki with an innocent smile.

"Maybe," Shiki says staring at the scene in front of her. "Neku might need some time alone with Joshua if you know what I mean…"

I let out an embarrassed half-yell, half-groan and attempted to pull my bedcovers over myself only find Joshua was sitting on them.

"Off," I seethed.

"But Neku," Joshua said a practiced blush coming across his features. "H-how could you b-be so cruel?"

Somone please remind me why I even missed this fucker.

"Oh, just stop."

I was answered with a quick giggle. "Never~"

The distinct sound of a phone camera going off made us turn. Shiki held her phone up her glasses glinting ominously. "Eheheheh…"

"You absolutely must send me that picture, dear."

"Consider it done!"

"I. Can't. Even - " A huge, fucking goddamn, snotty sneeze interrupts my sentence. GAH! "GET OUT EVERYONE."

Pocketing her phone, Shiki grins and says cheekily, "Okie dokie, Neku we're leaving, we're leaving…" And with that she ushered the two siblings and herself out of the room. With one final grin, the raven haired girl left the Composer and his forlorn 'proxy' aka me, alone. It was a wonder how Shiki's confidence had grown so much… Too much…

"You too, Josh," I say successfully (finally) retrieving the blanket from underneath the other boy. I brace myself for a snarky reply or a teasing retort as I wrap it around myself, but am surprised as Joshua heaves himself off the creaky bed in obedience.

"Oh fine, Neku, dear," the violet eyed teen sighs in exaggerated disappointment. He saunters across the small room to the door.

I can't help but stare after Shibuya's Composer in confusion, or exhaustion, or irritation, or wariness - whatever the hell this was that I was feeling. I was too sick and tired - physically and mentally - to think about how anchored I was about… anything, really.

Joshua stops at the doorway catching my gaze for the second time already. He offers a smile that's stuck in between a sneer and something almost genuine. Keyword here being 'almost'. I glare slightly at the truth of the thought. The hope I had…

"What?"

I pause a moment, biting back something I knew I'd regret.

"I was just going to tell you not to forget to close the door."

Joshua laughs lightly, the sound coming out as a small titter. "Of course, dear~"

"… Whatever," I mumble, my eyes find a spot on the floor.

I hear him leave with another soft chuckle and click of my door shutting.

The sudden emptiness of the room causes my thoughts to wander to the events prior to the intrusion of Shiki and the Bito siblings.

What did Joshua want? Didn't he have a Game to oversee? Or did Joshua get so bored that he felt the need to shoot everyone in the face?

With a shake of my head, I put a stop to my careless thinking, the thoughts becoming reminiscent.

During the Game, Joshua always was the one making stupid stops to Lapin Angelique, Pegaso, or Ramen Don, making us lose so much time. He was always the one wearing those stupid, frilly lolita dresses. Always flipping his soft, silver hair away from his face when he was irritated. Always moaned when he ate ramen. Always smirking at my embarrassment and twirling a strand of his hair he'd say, 'Hurry, dear~ We've got no time to waste, hm?'...

I was soon accustomed to the smirking, the blase bored look, the 'I'm-a-sassy-bitch-dear-deal-with-it' giggle. Or now would it be 'I'm-the-fucking-Composer-and-you're-my-foot-stool'? Either way, Joshua was there, all the time… and I was fine with it.

My hand gripped the blanket around me tighter and I fell back against the mattress.

A friend. I had considered him a friend. After that first incident years ago, I had no one. Before, I would have scoffed at the thought that I actually had someone I could relate to; someone who I could argue with so much and just as equally agree with. But I did have someone like that. Somewhere in my mind, after some time it… accepted him as such.

But it all couldn't stay like that, right? Like Kariya said, 'Wake up and smell the concrete roses!' It hurt. When the memories that were taken were thrown back at me, it hurt. Joshua. The Joshua that wore ruffled dresses, the Joshua that used a laced parasol, the Joshua that always made me so angry and yet so hap-

I slam the thought out fast and hard. That was all in the past anyways, no need to cry over spilled milk.

But that didn't stop the renewed, half-year old hurt that made my chest clench.

The gun hadn't caused me any fear. In fact, I wasn't afraid at all. I could only feel empty as I stared at the silver-haired boy - or man, however old he really was - who I actually thought I knew. His familiar violet eyes looked down at me, past the barrel. There was no remorse or apologizes in that look. He simply smirked. Only reiterating the fact that I was nothing to him.

The bullet ended more than just my 'life' in the Game…

It ended the hope that I'd ever get close to anyone again.

I soon fell asleep due to the constant thinking and sick state of mine.

I didn't feel the hand that brushed over my cheek affectionately or what was spoken.

Or the medicine bottle that sat on my bedside table.

x.X.x

Time and again, I was reminded of how much Neku wouldn't forgive me. His thoughts practically screamed his feelings at me.

'Don't screw with me Joshua.'

'What's Joshua even doing here? To shoot me again?'

'Unfair like you were when you shot me the first time?'

My eyelids lowered a fraction at the reminders. Did he feel like it would prove something if he repeated what I had done over and over again? It was like he believed it would change something after saying it so many times…

I had visited alternate worlds out of curiosity. There were lots of interesting ones.

But... There was never a world where Neku decided to shoot me. I always did.

It hardly bothered me seeing as I was used to killing people. But why? Why didn't Neku ever kill me? Each time, in each scenario… I thought Neku would shoot me… The anger… The hurt… The destructive cacophony his Music made… For sure I knew he'd pull the trigger. But no… Neku didn't. He never did.

I never knew what went through his head in those last moments, the questions resounding too loudly for me to be able to actually concentrate on anything else. I knew he was hurt and angry. But I also knew and wasn't a fool to believe that he'd actually forgive me.

…And sadly, knowing and wanting are two completely different things.

I lower a hand to brush against his cheek gently. Neku winced in his sleep, his brow furrowing in discomfort and I pull my hand back. A void feeling came over me and I stood up from the bed again.

"You're making this so much harder, Neku…" I say turning away. I hesitate though and pull my hand out of my pocket.

"And you better take these, dear." I sat the bottle of pills down on the small table.

And with that I upped my vibe and teleported into the Dead God's Pad.

I was greeted by the stacks of paperwork that littered my usually tidy desk. I sighed at the sight.

The aftermath of the Game was quite the nuisance even though I won.

My mind drifted toward Neku as I sat down. I wonder when I could visit him again. He was still sick after all. And I couldn't possibly let him die, not after all my hard work of getting him - and his friends, not to mention - back to life.

I giggle slightly at the thought. I would visit Neku again in a day and a half. It would give me some time to finish at least a bit more than I have already done. Goodness… how much I just wanted to Jesus Beam every single sheet of this monstrosity. I normally had Sanae's help with such things, but no, Sanae wanted to 'get back on good turns with the Higher Ups' who told him not to help me get through my consequence.

As I picked up a pen and sat down with narrowed eyes, I only had one thought in mind as I stabbed the tip of the utensil savagely onto the paper: The Higher Ups will dearly pay for this…